What characteristics do you prefer in a mate?

[superqt4u2nv]

When women say they want a man who is driven and ambitious. What they are actually saying is, they want a man with money. I just read between the lines. I doubt they would give a shit if you had won the lottery and were not ambitious at all, as long as you have lots of that green stuff. You work 100 hrs a week you say. I would never be with a person like that because I value time spent together, but you'll find plenty of women who don't care if they see you 2 hours a week, as long as you provide them with a lavish lifestlyle.

I say that I want someone driven and ambitious, it has nothing to do with money. I want someone that there lives with a set of goals. I don't care what it is they set there ambition towards as long as they have some.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

All I can say on this, is that when you find that person.. that has many of the qualities you prefer.. its one of the best feelings in the world.. and somehow you just know....

 

[curling]

LOL. you don't have to tell me this, Homey, I live there already. I have some fun with this on dates sometimes, if I'm not too bored.


Your cynicism is rooted in a lot of truth. There's a darker side there too, men and women are both guilty of it. I call it the look up phenomenon. You get a little bit successful, get happy with it, and then you "look up". For example:

A person making $100K per year might think everything is lovely, until they walk into the world of someone who earns 20 times that. Then it's like "holy shit! I never knew this existed". Usually you get either envy or resentment. The proper response, admiration, is usually beyond what a person who is overly or inappropriately proud of themselves can feel.

That better off person might feel like they're the shit until they meet someone sitting on a $100M trust fund. I've seen this when I go to resorts sometimes; you see the doctors who really can't afford the place trying to fit in, even as their wives eye them nervously about the cost of brunch for 3 kids 5 days in a row.

That is why you hang around poorer friends so you can "look down" instead.

 

[Lestat]

Here are the main traits I look for:

UNSELFISH - why would I want to spend any considerable amount of time with someone who thought only of themself. Sure, we all have to make sure we are happy, but some people go out of their way to make SURE everything they do is all about them. That's bullshit. I do plenty of things to make other people happy that I wouldn't do if I was only taking my own wants and needs in consideration. When in a serious relationship I put my partner's needs on the same level as mine if not above and I'd expect them to do the same.

Intelligent - you don't have to be a genious. But in order to "get" a lot of what I am into, you can't be an idiot. Good conversation is great, we don't have to agree on everything, but at least be able to discuss. I spent 7 years in school, if you don't have at least a 4 year degree you won't be able to relate at all to how I spent the last few years of my life.

Common interests - again, I just ask for a couple things that we can bond on here, not everything.

Basic understanding of fitness - someone who cares about themselves and how they look. You don't have to look like a hardbody, but at least care and goals can help to. Someone who never steps foot into a gym would likely not relate well to me at all.

Honest - it all starts with honesty I suppose.

Other things I like, but are not required:
Good family - this says a lot about a person.
Financially responsible - self explanatory

 

[starfish]

Here are the main traits I look for:

UNSELFISH - why would I want to spend any considerable amount of time with someone who thought only of themself. Sure, we all have to make sure we are happy, but some people go out of their way to make SURE everything they do is all about them. That's bullshit. I do plenty of things to make other people happy that I wouldn't do if I was only taking my own wants and needs in consideration. When in a serious relationship I put my partner's needs on the same level as mine if not above and I'd expect them to do the same.

Intelligent - you don't have to be a genious. But in order to "get" a lot of what I am into, you can't be an idiot. Good conversation is great, we don't have to agree on everything, but at least be able to discuss. I spent 7 years in school, if you don't have at least a 4 year degree you won't be able to relate at all to how I spent the last few years of my life.

Common interests - again, I just ask for a couple things that we can bond on here, not everything.

Basic understanding of fitness - someone who cares about themselves and how they look. You don't have to look like a hardbody, but at least care and goals can help to. Someone who never steps foot into a gym would likely not relate well to me at all.

Honest - it all starts with honesty I suppose.

Other things I like, but are not required:
Good family - this says a lot about a person.
Financially responsible - self explanatory

Wow...My thoughts exactly.

The only thing I would add is having a good sense of humor. laughter can get two people through almost anything.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

That is why you hang around poorer friends so you can "look down" instead.

Got 2 good friends down here homey - our founder and CEO.....guy signs my checks....so you know how he rolls.

My other friend is a trust fund kid, a girl with a last name you would recognize if I said it.

I'm broke in this world sir. So guess again.

As to dating, I already posted up what is important to me.

 

[curling]

Got 2 good friends down here homey - our founder and CEO.....guy signs my checks....so you know how he rolls.

My other friend is a trust fund kid, a girl with a last name you would recognize if I said it.

I'm broke in this world sir. So guess again.

That's what I am saying you need to hang around poorer ones when you get off work.

 

[Lestat]

Wow...My thoughts exactly.

The only thing I would add is having a good sense of humor. laughter can get two people through almost anything.

yeah... most women say they want a guy that can "make them laugh"...

I guess I'm funny, I think my friends fine me entertaining... its not intentional though, you can't force funny...

 

[velvett]

So then why can't the other 1/2 be passionate / spontan,
if that's THEIR nature ?

I'm confused, what do you mean?

 

[velvett]

My eyes are now open to a whole new world Velvett. I was never in lust w/my current love... but with each passing day, each gentle act of kindess and attentiveness I grow to love AND lust him more and more and more....

Do you love him or how he treats you?

You will only know for sure when his or your heart changes.