Well, my ex is is under the impression she can...

[cboogsrun]

I would also like to know what makes her such a bad mother?
She may have been a crappy wife but doesn't mean she's a crappy mother.

On the flip side what makes him a crappy father where he doesn't deserve them? Woman want all these double standards erased except when it suits them best. Why can't the children spend 50/50 at each parents.

the double standard comment isn't meant to be sexist, so if it offended someone I'm sorry. Just my opinion even if it stinks

 

[chesty]

she needs to move because her bf doesn't want to drive 90 miles one way to see her and she figures she won't have to work any more. Just stay home and watch tv and shit. For her, she provides the taco he provides the living quarters.

When I married her she wasn't this way. But a few years exposure to a bitter friend of hers (a fat slob, with two kids and no man cause she left him, complaining about her pathetic life she creatd for herself and how the world owes her) changed her and now her moral compass is whacked!

 

[chesty]

On the flip side what makes him a crappy father where he doesn't deserve them? Woman want all these double standards erased except when it suits them best. Why can't the children spend 50/50 at each parents.

the double standard comment isn't meant to be sexist, so if it offended someone I'm sorry. Just my opinion even if it stinks

We had a 50/50 arrangement for the last three years, but her cheating bf moved 90 miles away and pretty much if she doesn't move in with him she will lose her meal ticket.

Trust me she is a crappy mother. She cares for the kids she just doesn't have the genes in her to be a good mother. No maternal instincts.

 

[Bikini Mod]

On the flip side what makes him a crappy father where he doesn't deserve them? Woman want all these double standards erased except when it suits them best. Why can't the children spend 50/50 at each parents.

the double standard comment isn't meant to be sexist, so if it offended someone I'm sorry. Just my opinion even if it stinks

MamaJ wasn't defending women who were crappy wives, necessarily. Men have been cheating on their wives since the dawn of time too. Doesn't make it any less wrong, just stating a fact that where one may have been a less than stellar spouse (of either gender) that hardly means that they are unfit to parent. The only reason she asked the question was because there was no question about the morality or fitness of the father, who was also, incidentally was the one who provided any information.

Chesty, if memory serves isn't this the wife and kids who you moved away from, out-f-state, I believe it was to accept a high paying position? I am not saying you did anything wrong by doing this. I am only asking because it has been a very long time (couple years) since you posted up about the divorce/separation situation with this particular wife and this set of kids. Actually if memory serves, the last time you posted up (again a coupla/few many months mebbe year or so ago) was in regards to a fiancee of yours going whacky, disappearing and shit. (Good thing you didn't marry her. Would have added to the drama I should think.) And just before that you were posting up about some crazy ass dating experiences with some odd womenz. I know better than anybody that you gotta kiss a lotta frogs before you find the few prince/princesses.

Isn't this set of wife and kids also the one who home-schooled them for many years of your marriage?

I am not defending anyone with these questions, but merely trying to get the picture straight. This is YOUR LIFE afterall and none of us here on elite is an authority over it, regardless of what delusions any of the board members might have.

I am very happy that your mother was cleared of false charges. It sucks to be wrongfully accused. It doesn't always happen, so when it does it is something to be celebrated. But recognize that the fact that this was the case may not necessarily be due to the *greatness* of the lawyer. Right here on EF there was a case where a mother bested a very high dollar/cut throat/high profile attorney and successfully defended herself PRO SE when her fitness as a mother was challenged. Honestly, I don't think that woman even had a college degree.

Based solely on what you stipulated as reasons for getting sole custody I would say a more germaine question to the question of custody is:

What is the age in your state where the children can decide for themselves with which parent they want to live? Are they old enough to decide? If they are then that would really make things a whole lot easier for everyone and far less stressfull for the children.

 

[cboogsrun]

We had a 50/50 arrangement for the last three years, but her cheating bf moved 90 miles away and pretty much if she doesn't move in with him she will lose her meal ticket.

Trust me she is a crappy mother. She cares for the kids she just doesn't have the genes in her to be a good mother. No maternal instincts.

I was just trying to show it doesn't matter if she's unfit, you still are the parent too. just because she's the woman doesn't entitle her to custody. I have an employee who has 3 kids and no woman around. He doesn't expect her to pay child support or anything. Never bitches, and works his ass off.

 

[Smurfy]

First, funny how this thread seemed to go off on a tangent.

1. My lawyer was also my brothers and my mothers. My brother is getting sole custody and my mother was proven innocent of child neglect brought on by my brothers ex. So, when she tells me I have a strong case I believe her.

2. She is putting them in a morally corrupt environment, teaching them it is okay to lie and cheat on your spouse when you don't like the situation, she beats the children on occasion, I don't mean a spanking, I mean like today she hit my 10 year old in the head for no good reason other than she lost her cool. She is trying to remove them from their only known and memorable environment for the last 7 years, remove them from their school, their friends etc. The courts in AZ do not take kindly to that.

Also, she has never once been involved in with them for school, the doctor etc. have an entire school system (yes, I do mean the entire school) and part of the high school staff and teachers that will speak on my behalf to have the kids remain here. She is trying to split the children up, again AZ courts do not take kindly to that.

And most importantly, both children have stated and will state if needed that they want to remain here with me. The courts give considerable weight to this.

3. She is not moving out of state, but rather 90 miles away to a shit hole of a town

4. She will not pay any of the medical expenses and of the two times our youngest ended up in the emergency room she refused to come out either time or pay for her portion. The last time just last week, when she refused and I heard her on the phone tell him she wasn't going to come out and see him, upset him so badly they had to give him Adavar to calm him down.

She even told my older son that not only was it not her idea to have him or his brother, but she never wanted kids and it was my idea alone to make her have them.

This a bitch in every sense. She is morally corrupt, ethically corrupt, mentally unstable, and couldn't keep her legs crossed if they were glued and stitched together. She has even admitted that she cannot afford to live on her own.

Do I think I can win? Do I think I will? Yes, I do and she get exactly what she has wanted, no kids and a stinky fat bastard for a live in pimp.

wow she sounds like a useless sack of shit. why does she even have joint legal custody to begin with? take this bitch to court and do what's right for your children.
so you're saying here that you're the one mainly doing the parenting.

 

[BBC]

Sounds like you got a touchy situation on your hands. I thing Chris Benoit had the right idea.

Either that, or kidnap the kids and move to brazil.


Oh by the way, I didn't read your post, but the Chris Benoit angle never fails.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Sounds like you got a touchy situation on your hands. I thing Chris Benoit had the right idea.

Either that, or kidnap the kids and move to brazil.


Oh by the way, I didn't read your post, but the Chris Benoit angle never fails.

You are kidding.... right?

How bout instead of the guy murdering his wife and child(ren) he just cut to the chase and kill himself?

 

[chesty]

Well, she attempted home schooling for a while and couldn't handle it. I didn't move away from her and the kids, I am a contract engineer and I have to travel at times. I never moved from AZ just worked a job and came back to my home almost every weekend.

Not only was the fiancee going nuts, I also made the decision it was not the right thing for my kids. Not just about her, but about anyone. When I feel they are ready, and I am ready I will introduce them to whomever I am dating that has been long term and I am positive it isn't going in the shitter.

In AZ there is no specific age the child has to be to request to live with one parent or the other. The older they are the more weight the court puts on their choice in making its decision.

Maybe I send a bit bitter? I wasn't perfect by any means and I eventually decided it was time to grow up years ago and really attempt to make a go at making the relationship work and undo our divorce as that was what we originally had gotten back together to do. Well, she had different ideas.

This is a person whose life I saved not once but twice, once when she had toxic shock I had to carry her to the hospital and the doctors told me had I been twenty minutes later she would have died. In fact, she was so bad off they let me remain in intensive care with her full time even though visiting hours ended at 8pm every night. Her parents only visited her a couple of times even though she was clinging to life.

During the second night, I watched her blood pressure drop to 40/0, yes, that is correct, they were taking it every five minutes, I watched as she realized she was dying. She had a very peacful look about her as I watched the life leave her body. For some unknown reason though she came back. Couldn't explain it. But I thought that was a miracle and one meant for us so we could be together. Anyway, the second time wasn't as severe and we were already married, she was 5 weeks pregnant with first child, and her appendix started to leak, got her to the hospital and for whatever reason it didn't rupture and she didn't lose the baby during the surgery which from what the doctors told us normally happens at that early of a pregnancy.

Somewhere along the lines she changed, she started cheating on me. Don't give me any grief about it. I had the proof, letter, witnessess, phone calls and eventually her admission. I don't know what happened to change her mind, whether it was because I had to study a lot in college or she resented working while i was in college, even though I gave up getting my PH.D for her, etc.

She thought I should be able to take her 2 week vacations anywhere in the world, put her up in a bigger house than I bought her (2200 sq ft to be exact is what I bought) she had a new 4 wheel drive truck, pretty much living the high life, but she was constantly complaing to the people at her work which is where my mom worked and overheard her bullshit stories. At one point my mom interrupted her in the middle of one of her poor woe is me storie and set her straight and the people she had been crying to. She would say shit like, he doesn't feed me, won't put gas in my truck, makes me walk every where, won't give me any money, won't let me leave the house etc.

Let me tell you something, I gave up a lot for her only to catch grief from her, she pulled a knife on me, fucked around on me, acused me of abusing my children soley to hurt me, vandalised my house with the help of her cheating bf. Has attempted to take my kids from me, lied to everyone she can about how indescribably bad I am.

Any more questions?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Any more questions?

Actually Chesty, no. I know you quite well. Matter of fact though I never met you IRL I would say that we were intimate friends at one point in time.

We will leave it at that.

If you honestly believe that the trauma of dragging your children through a custody battle is in their best interest then by all means, go for it.

See me, I went a different route.

I willingly shared 50/50 with a man that beat me to the ground and who pretty much lost all rights when a normal judge was on our case. Oh yea, and this was in spite of me not getting any childsupport and constantly getting dragged back into court for him to attempt to take my children from me because my children were (and remain) the only thing that was important to me. When I saw that an all out knock down dragged out battle was inevitable (because his attorney jeeringly said that when my lawyer posed the question, "What if the best interest evaluation - that my ex requested -comes back favorable to my client - meaning me - "We will just order psychological evaluations then, whatever it takes.") I GAVE HIM EVERYTHING.... Was that right or wrong? No one knows... however, we now have indisputable proof over 5 years later that once the current judge came on our case, I would have lost custody REGARDLESS of how I lived my life or how he abused our children.

But then again, that is old news that you know quite well.

Since that time my family has spent over 400K for me to maintain A SEMBLENCE of custody - most others would have walked away regardless of their gender and for all of our fighting what do we have? A NO CONTACT ORDER forbidding ANY contact between my children and ANY member of my family. My girls defiantly call/text/IM me even though they know that I will go to jail eventually unless we can have the judge stopped before that happens.

But this is not about me.... I am only speaking from MY personal frame of reference.

IMHO the only time a custody battle is justified:

A - one parent is forced to fight to protect their right to parent their child.

B - one parent MUST keep their child from REAL harm, and not just have an axe to grind with their ex.

This is strictly my opinion, but I think you can see from whence it came.