Warik vs. Random Human - 1/26/2002

[Warik]

Today I had to square off against a very large human being. She weighed about 200lbs and had 3 kids.

I'm on my way to Amichi's Pizza to pick up a pizza, because, though they are one of the best pizza shops, they don't deliver. I find a spot close to the pizza shop, and decide to park. I decide to park in the "Compact" spot which, conveniently, is adjacent to another "Compact" spot occupied by a huge fucking minivan.

As I leave my car, I mumble to myself: "Nice compact car, bitch."

I enter the pizza shop, collect my goods, and depart. As I am approaching my car, the large mammoth who owns the minivan is escorting her brats to the vehicle. Normally, I would not refer to small children as brats, but normally, small children do not bang on my new car's doors and rub their hands on the windows because they think that it's "cool" that the tints show their reflection.

I place the pizza in the front passenger seat, and then, because there is not enough room between the two cars for both myself and the brats, stand patiently behind my car waiting for them to get in their car - which they do not. They simply stand there like little fools talking and screwing around. One of them continuously pulls on the handle of the minivan's door while I stand there absolutely horrified about the idea that the door may soon be unlocked, and the door will fly into mine and dent it.

I then know that I must take action.

I begin walking in the small gap to reach my door.

"Excuse me." I politely say, as the first two brats remove themselves from my path.

"Excuse me." I politely say to the smallest brat, as she stands perfectly still and stares at me as though I were speaking Greek.

"Excuse me." I say, less politely.

She gets out of my way by stepping back - back right in front of my door so I can't open it.

"That's not going to work." I tell her. Finally, she moves the HELL out of my way and I'm able to open my door. I open my door and get inside.

I start the car and begin to back up when I notice the mammoth standing in the little gap between the two cars in front of her daughter. Somehow, I'm expected to back up with 1" of space between my and her stomach.

Being the highly skilled motorist that I am, I succeed in backing completely without injuring anyone.

Just as I'm about to switch into drive and leave, she yells to my car (apparently thinking that I'm listening to the radio or cannot hear her): "You need to be more careful!"

Puzzled, I open my window and retort.

"The parking space says 'Compact Only,' you are driving a minivan."

Her: "Whattt!!!????!!"

Me: "The parking..."

Her: "You need to be more careful! You did not see the baby when you were backing up!"

Me: "I saw the baby perfectly fine. In fact, I saw her better than you did. It's quite irresponsible to let your small children roam free in a crowded parking lot."

Her: "LEARN HOW TO BE MORE CAREFUL!"

Me: "Minivans are not compact cars. Learn how to read."

What a dumb bitch.

-Warik

 

[theoak01]

it sucks that you have to deal with stupid fat people who dont even have the decency to teach there kids manners,honest to god some people shouldnt be able to have kids

 

[RyanH]

LOL...you're a descriptive storyteller.

You should try living here in Atlanta, we have our fair share of dumb drivers as well as irresponsbile parents. You handled the situation probably better than I would have.....I got into an fight last week at the grocery store with a bitch that butted in front of me in line.....even though I was CLEARLY in front of her.

Of course, as usual, we argued, and I won---I kept my place. Good to see you standing up for yourself.

Ryan.

 

[Warik]

Lol... why live in Atlanta when dumb drivers are superfluous here already? It sucks down here, but at least most of the bad drivers are just old folks who drive too slowly and are easily avoided.

I haven't heard the term "butted" in a long time... since I was in like third grade. I didn't like using the term myself anyway. I usually said "cut" and no one knew what I was talking about. The "Chinese Back Butt" was my favorite variation... lol.

You should see some of the disrespect I see down here. I was at PetSmart a few weeks ago and this old dude went in line and crashed his shopping cart, clearly deliberately, into this old lady's cart. She didn't say anything, but the woman with her (or in front of her, don't know if they were together) told him that he should be more careful etc... He's like: "I DIDN'T SEE HER!"

Woman: "She was 2 feet in front of her. You didn't see her?"

Him: "NO. I'M BLIND."

Woman: "You're blind, eh?"

At that point I thought the conversation had ended... then a few seconds later the guy actually says: "AND HONESTLY I THINK YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT. YOU LOOK LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT TO ME" really loudly. Everyone was stunned. The cashier was like whoa wtf is up with this guy? While everyone was stunned, I was pondering the logical contradiction of him being blind, yet being able to observe whether or not she looks like shit. I guess that's just me, though.

I didn't get into that one because it wasn't my business, but damn, some people just have no respect whatsoever.

Stand by, Ryan. I've got a ShittyBank thread coming after I drop my sister off at work.

-Warik

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Well, yes, some people are less intelligent than you. But ewhat is the point of berating them, if they

1. don't get it?

2. don't give a shit?


Are you trying to convince her you are better than she is, or trying to convince yourself?

 

[AAP]

Hey. Fuck all ya'll! If I remember correctly that time I was posting about arguing with a rude person, everyone jumped down my throat about it.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Hey. Fuck all ya'll! If I remember correctly that time I was posting about arguing with a rude person, everyone jumped down my throat about it.

Show us the swingers yacht and all is forgiven.

 

[danielson]

warik.....


its situations like this the finger was invented for

after not being able to get thorugh to her, simpy extend your middle finger, smile and be on your way






i went shopping at a more popular supermarket today. people dawdle wayy to much and take up the WHOLE freaking aisle doing it. they also have no respect for others personal space and push trolleys into others etc whther they are older or younger than them...........

i had to leave V.quickly

 

[Citruscide]

You're one funny guy!!! (Goodfellas)

Seriously, I hate big fat bitches who think they have some sort of right to speak to me... as if I needed their advice...

C

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

It' fun to peg up the rolls of fat bitches with clothes pins so you can hit the sweet spot!

 

[Warik]

But ewhat is the point of berating them.

Are you trying to convince her you are better than she is, or trying to convince yourself?

1) I wasn't berating her. I was calmly informing her of her mistake.

2) I only proceeded to do this due to her berating of me. She was hardly cordial in her initial, or subsequent, comments.

3) Her knowing that I'm better than she is will not increase or decrease my "betterness" in any way, so I do not care about that.

4) I already know I'm better than she is, so there is no need for convincing.

I was simply defending myself from rude commentary, and practicing for conflicts with individuals higher up on the food chain later in life.

-Warik

 

[KAYNE]

I was pondering the logical contradiction of him being blind, yet being able to observe whether or not she looks like shit. I guess that's just me, though.

LOL.....THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS TIME AT MY OLD JOB. THIS CUSTOMER NEEDED HELP FROM A GUY THAT WORKED WITH ME. HE WAS PARTIALLY DEAF AND HAD A CARD TO SHOW PEOPLE HE WAS HANDICAPPED. HE WAS LAZY ALSO. WHEN THE PATRON ASKED FOR HELP, WHICH HE HEARD JUST FINE DUE TO HIS HEARING AIDE, HE HELD UP HIS DEAF CARD. AT WHICH TIME ANOTHER WORKER SAW HIM DO THIS FROM BEHIND AND YELLED OUT HIS NAME. THE FOOL TURNED AROUND AND SAID "WHAT"!!!



KAYNE

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

and practicing for conflicts with individuals higher up on the food chain later in life.

-Warik

I suspect you'll find that as you deal with people higher up on the food chain, (and you will, I am sure), that it is not about convincing them that they are right. You want to do that, go to law school.

Success in higher level conflicts (I am talking business-type) is generally based on getting adverse parties to reach a comfort level with you. In other words, you have toget them to see that they were worng, without having to admit it, and cobnvince them that you still respect them.

You'll see.

 

[thebabydoc]

Matt, the ultimate in evolution is to be able to allow stupid/inconsiderate people to continue thinking they are/were right and then to apologize for your "stupidity" without them recognizing the reality of the situation.

If you can do that, you are at the top of the food chain.

 

[Warik]

My technical writing teacher once told the class that, when dealing with people, you are either looking for their compliance or their respect.

He said that we should always write our papers with the goal of earning the reader's respect.

That's why he's a teacher.

-Warik

 

[flexed1]

Warik funny shit. We really need to hang out when I am in Florida as I think we have similar personalities and don't worry I will behave. Driving home last night a bitch cut me off at a stop sign so I followed her home and when she turned left into her dead end street I did a turn and watched her get out of her car. She than went inside and I again did another u turn as she was looking out her door. It was very late at night so hopefully she learned two things. First don't cut people off and being a women by yourself its even more stupid. Next week I torch her house. (lol)

 

[Warik]

lol flexed1. Some people do such illogical, stupid things that I can't understand why. If I ever do something stupid like that, the least I would do is apologize immediately. Some people do it, ignore it, and then pretend like they haven't done anything wrong.

Tonight, I was returning a water filter at Walmart. I'm there in the customer service line and the guy in front of me returns something AND buys like 10 more items. wtf? This ain't a cash register, chief. Then he goes to pay with a $100 bill. Mind you, he has FIVE $100 bills in his pocket - not his wallet - his pocket. What kind of idiot carries around $500 in cash around? Much less to Walmart. Then they had to go through a whole hassle just to get money to give him change because there was none in the cash register. omg what horror.

-Warik

 

[BigPhysicsBastard]

lol flexed1. Some people do such illogical, stupid things that I can't understand why. If I ever do something stupid like that, the least I would do is apologize immediately. Some people do it, ignore it, and then pretend like they haven't done anything wrong.

Tonight, I was returning a water filter at Walmart. I'm there in the customer service line and the guy in front of me returns something AND buys like 10 more items. wtf? This ain't a cash register, chief. Then he goes to pay with a $100 bill. Mind you, he has FIVE $100 bills in his pocket - not his wallet - his pocket. What kind of idiot carries around $500 in cash around? Much less to Walmart. Then they had to go through a whole hassle just to get money to give him change because there was none in the cash register. omg what horror.

-Warik

Warik, I'm going to take you for an intelligent person.........so why the fuck were you in Walmart?? God, the few times I've been in there I've felt like I'm "In Country".......Get in and Get the fuck out ASAP!! I feel myself getting dumber as soon as I'm exposed to those people. Especially if you have to ask an "employee" something, I use that term loosely since it usually implies some knowledge about the store......but what you get is a dumb stare like "leave me alone, I only work here". And it really doesn't help that my g/f is a walmart freak, she could scout the store blindfolded. But I will say that one of my finer moments occurred at a Walmart. Sitting there in the return line with my G/f, she had forgotten her CC so I used mine. Anyway, this CC reading machine assaults me with every language BUT english. I usually find myself adept at using electronic equipment, but it did take me around 30 seconds to bring up the fucking english menu. But it was a very colorful 30 seconds.....many epithets, phrases such as "If I wanted to speak mexican I'd fucking go to mexico", "why is this thing still talking to me like I"m mexican?", "God damned mexicans are taking over this country" etc, etc.....
Well, my g/f was bumping me the whole time, but I didn't pay any attention to it at the time, hey, i was on a roll.....whaddya gonna do?? But than when I turned around I saw what my g/f was bumping me for.......a family of mexicans were right behind us the whole time. The mother looked pissed, but the father actually looked like he was 30 seconds from busting out laughing.

 

[Warik]

Warik, I'm going to take you for an intelligent person.........so why the fuck were you in Walmart??

Because...

a) I can buy fish supplies cheap as fuck.
b) The water filter was cheap as fuck... $30 to treat 100 gallons - too bad it didn't treat shit.
c) DVDs for $5-$10
d) Magnums for $0.43

You can't go wrong with Walmart... unless you start buying clothes there and stuff... that's one line I won't cross.

Especially if you have to ask an "employee" something, I use that term loosely since it usually implies some knowledge about the store......but what you get is a dumb stare like "leave me alone, I only work here".

You mean you can actually find an employee? Wow shit... I had to HUNT for a guy to tell me where the replacement water filter cartridges were. He actually knew... he's like "yup, turn right, all the way down, turn right again, it'll be halfway down the aisle on your right" and lo' and behold it sure as hell was. That man deserves a raise.

My biggest Walmart horror story was one day when my girl wanted to buy little algae eaters for her fish tank. There was NO ONE in the fish area AT ALL and NO ONE to call for somebody. We said fuck it and decided to do self service. I found one of the little plastic bags and I happened to have a rubberband on me... poured some tank water in the bag and finally caught 3 algae eaters. Put them in the bag, wrapped it, and went to pay. The line was SO FUCKING LONG (40 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) that by the time we got to the front, the algae eaters had died from being in the bag too long and probably running out of oxygen.

Stupid Walmart.

-Warik

 

[BigPhysicsBastard]

that's fucking classic......so you actually found an employee and he was able to pinpoint you an exact location of what you were looking for?? Holy fucking shit.....he really does deserve a raise. A freind of mine has a good story.......he waited in electronics for 25 minutes after he was told someone would be "right there" to help him. Well, he got fed up and cranked all the stereo's to the same station at full volume.......even then it took another 10 minutes for someone to show up. Fucking amazing that place is, but as much as I hate it, it doesn't compare to kmart's clientele. I won't go into details......but suffice to say that cops are outside of the local kmart here quite often and escorting baggy clothed yootes to the cruisers.

 

[AAP]

d) Magnums for $0.43

I am sure South Beach is full of muscle men to fill those Magnums out for ya.

 

[Warik]

I am sure South Beach is full of muscle men to fill those Magnums out for ya.

uh

no.

 

[AAP]

uh

no.

Bareback rider huh?

Oh girl.... you be so butch.

 

[Warik]

Bareback rider huh?

Oh girl.... you be so butch.

I do not find this amusing.

-Warik

 

[AAP]

I do not find this amusing.

-Warik

I am sure those muscle men find *you* amusing.

 

[theoak01]

excuse me being stupid what the hell is a magnum?
i dont hear that up here in my igloo

 

[danielson]

excuse me being stupid what the hell is a magnum?
i dont hear that up here in my igloo

a larger size of condom

and an ice cream

 

[theoak01]

ahh i see,i gotta get outta the igloo more often

 

[Boach]

Hey. Fuck all ya'll! If I remember correctly that time I was posting about arguing with a rude person, everyone jumped down my throat about it.

That may be because you have a picture of a man's butthole as your avatar. That just makes people grumpy.

 

[Boach]

I do not find this amusing.

-Warik

What's amusing is that you used the word "magnum" instead of condoms, strategically implying that you have a large penis. Unfortunately, this only leads me to believe that you must exaggerate the truth in order for you to feel better! I have to agree with AnalAssplorer on this one! LOL

 

[Boach]

ahh i see,i gotta get outta the igloo more often

So, it's safe to say that you don't use Magnums?

God, i'm having way too much fun with that comment.

FYI: Boach is proud to admit that he doesn't wear magnums. Yep, I don't wear condoms!!!!

 

[XBiker]

lol flexed1. Some people do such illogical, stupid things that I can't understand why. If I ever do something stupid like that, the least I would do is apologize immediately. Some people do it, ignore it, and then pretend like they haven't done anything wrong.

Tonight, I was returning a water filter at Walmart. I'm there in the customer service line and the guy in front of me returns something AND buys like 10 more items. wtf? This ain't a cash register, chief. Then he goes to pay with a $100 bill. Mind you, he has FIVE $100 bills in his pocket - not his wallet - his pocket. What kind of idiot carries around $500 in cash around? Much less to Walmart. Then they had to go through a whole hassle just to get money to give him change because there was none in the cash register. omg what horror.

-Warik

Fina or Halo?

 

[AAP]

What's amusing is that you used the word "magnum" instead of condoms, strategically implying that you have a large penis. Unfortunately, this only leads me to believe that you must exaggerate the truth in order for you to feel better! I have to agree with AnalAssplorer on this one! LOL

Thank you.

 

[Warik]

Unfortunately, this only leads me to believe that you must exaggerate the truth in order for you to feel better!

How would deceiving members occupying a couple of megabytes of the billions of terrabytes of Internet space in existence into thinking I have an abnormally large penis benefit my life in any way? Foolish humans. Unlike AA, I find you quite amusing.

I have to agree with AnalAssplorer on this one! LOL

I have to not care on this one. "LOL"

-Warik

 

[AAP]

Those muscle boys..... waiting for you sugar.

 

[Boach]

How would deceiving members occupying a couple of megabytes of the billions of terrabytes of Internet space in existence into thinking I have an abnormally large penis benefit my life in any way? Foolish humans. Unlike AA, I find you quite amusing.



I have to not care on this one. "LOL"

-Warik

LOL, I'm glad you took that as the joke it was supposed to be.

 

[Warik]

LOL, I'm glad you took that as the joke it was supposed to be.

Oh... you mean it was.... a joke?

*crumbles up sheet of paper titled "Plans for Boach's Mysterious Death*

-Warik