Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen is in Trouble

[b fold the truth]

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen is in Trouble
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."
2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

 

[b fold the truth]

How to tell if thou art Amish:

If thee own ten blue shirts, but no buttons, then thou might be Amish.

If thee can give someone directions to Intercourse without smiling, then thou might be Amish.

If thee traded thy boom box for a plow on thy sixteenth birthday, then thou might be Amish.

If somene's front door is painted blue, and it excites thee sexually, then thou might be Amish.

If thee refers to the eighth grade as "Senior Year," then thou might be Amish.

If thee knows not how to operate a zipper, then thou might be Amish.

If thou can pronounce "Stolzfus" properly, then thou might be Amish.

If thee removes thy hat and covers thy face whenever an English tries to photograph you, then thou might be Amish.

If "sleeping in" means waking after 3:30 AM, then thou might be Amish.

 

[Frackal]

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen is in Trouble
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."
2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

Those are gay as fuck

 

[b fold the truth]

bump...

B True

 

[Bullit]

Thy post sucketh

 

[Doktor Bollix]

I want to fuck an Amish girl.

The kinkiest and nastiest girls I've been with have been nun-educated, single-sex schooled, Catholic convent girls. When they get out of there and go to college, they just want to get turned out in the filthiest and most deviant ways possible.

Amish has to be like convent girl squared or cubed. There must be no end to their depravity!

 

[Bullit]

I want to fuck an Amish girl.

There is a rumour here (Alberta) that the Hutterites (they are like the Amish) pay Oil company visitors to rail their daughters to stop their rampant inbreeding. Apparently its just a pair of legs, a pussy (I imagine its hairy as hell, and stinks like 2 month old cheese) and the rest of her is hidden behind a sheet.

 

[Doktor Bollix]

Hmmm. Pay them how much?

 

[Bullit]

Well I got...er...I mean I HEARD that they pay $100 each.

Just kiddin, I have no idea.

 

[Doktor Bollix]

porn

Amish porn SUCKS.