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Time to break it off!

bommakr

New member
Hey Ladies and Gents,

I searched for a similar post on this subject and found one, but it was only open to women. Its about being in a relationship and deciding whether to keep it going, or cut things off altogether. Since we all probably go through similar events, I'd like to hear your opinions and criticisms, you'll probably even call me names, but try to be nice. Here goes:

So my girl and I have been together for about two years. We met shortly after valetines day, and hit it off pretty well. A few months in, she tells me she loves me, but I don't reply with the same words (which always pissed her off) until a few months later (red flag #1). Her feelings are strong, super strong, like page long text message strong, sending me songs, expecting the same response, but I quickly disappoint her. Not on purpose, its just not the way I communicate.

At times in the relationship, I feel pressured to spend time with her, and I seem to get more and more annoyed at her mannerisms and personal habits (red flag #2). She is a chronic nail biter (bright red flag #3), always figity, complaining, hating everything, watches these depressing shows that I cant stand, and she's super clingy. Still, I remain with her. She buys me things (which i hate), and keeps a very ill maintained vegetarian diet (I'm a super healthy carnivore). But she's a beautiful woman, very very smart, older than me, and has a great career (I can totally support myself btw, I'm not a leech)

I'm a contractor, and about a year ago, one of her friends told her "He's just like every other contractor guy, just sticking with you until they have to move." and guess what...I received notice last summer. So all through the fall we tried to decide (argued) if we were going to end our relationship, keep it going long distance, and I even thought of proposing. heres the wierd thing: I don't see myself getting married to her. But she says she could stay with me forever.

Here we are today. We never broke it off, but we never agreed to stay together. I feel trapped, I think about her all the time and feel like I love her, but from a forced sense of the feeling, but love either way. We spent two years together, but we've hardly talked about marriage, why? Why didn't she give me an ultimatum or ask me about commitment a year into this? What would you do? If we stay together I want to put her on my program (red flag #8), my way or the high way! Is this wrong? Ladies, am i being an ass?

Sorry for the long story, I'll try to keep it short next time : )
 
Men are predators, women are prey...any woman that reverses that role as energetically as yours has, will kill you in your sleep for forgetting the 5th anniversary of your 2nd date.
 
Does she do A2M? If not let her go. Cut her loose. Get off the bus Gus, the thrill is gone. Get a new plan Stan. Leave her before she leaves you. All women are sluts or lesbians. Go to Mexico to find your self. Cut off your cock because it sounds like you dont have any balls anyway. You are a repressed transgender wannabe anal fetish fluffer.
 
They all cheat. It's a given. She doesn't really love you. Women are all pathological liars and narcissists. I bet she has 2 or 3 other guys waiting in the winds. You can count on it.
 
Well, I'm 99% certain she isn't cheating on me, she tells me that shes in love with me all the time. here the asshole part about it, I have never told her I'm in love with her. She also tells me all the time "I feel like I love you way more than you love me." This kills me inside, but I don't have the balls to tell her that she may be right. Still, we've been together for two years. I feel like I wasted her time, bt she could have broke it off anytime she wanted. Why do women stay in relationships like this? A female response would be great.

rainbocockeater - i know i'm a moron, but that doesn't help much. And you're right digimon, she flips out for everything, but thats normal for some women and some men in general. Halal, you're right too, I didn't have the balls to break her heart, but I also think she stayed cause I was convenient, and easy to maintain. One time, i did try to break it off, but after a day or so, she called me over and over telling me how much she missed me. I felt bad and we got back together. I know I'm in trouble, thats why I figured I'd share it with you guys. Thanks or the replies.

BD
 
You don't want to marry her, you don't see a future with her, you don't love her and you feel trapped. You're clearly done.
 
You lol dick, fgt @ pick3 and duely noted samoth, i'll try 2 b electronically correct.

Hey nangiggles, i'm actually glad you threw some words in there. I recently read one of your posts in the ladies only forum (don't ask why i was there), and that's what encouraged me to write this one.

You said:

"Buahaha I wanted to make a comment like this but I thought this isn't c&c don't be like that, but thx ladies for making it easier to say this:

Infatuation, the wonderful giggly butterfly feeling, thinking of them night and day, we all get it at some point, no one's love is less or more than others, It's a subjective feeling.

That being said, OP sounds a bit clingy with the whole "hold on to him/never letting go" men aren't always as intense as women are, if you come out to strong he might feel smothered, you shouldn't have to plan or force anything.

It sounds pretty lame but love really is like a butterfly, if you hold on to it carelessly it slips away if you hold on to it too tight you will crush it"


I thought - THATS IT! that's exactly what happened to us, especially the too strong part. I'm pretty sure you're right too, in the direction I need to go I mean; and damn, that's going to kill her inside. I would tell you guys to wish me luck, but they don't give that out to assholes like this guy.

Thanks for listening and advising everyone.

BD
 
You don't want to marry her, you don't see a future with her, you don't love her and you feel trapped. You're clearly done.


This^^^ the only way you'll be happy is if you "put her on your program"...so change her. lol

If I were you, I'd be asking myself why I chose to stay when I clearly am not really in it for the long haul. Life is too short to settle. Time to man up and move on.


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You lol dick, fgt @ pick3 and duely noted samoth, i'll try 2 b electronically correct.

Hey nangiggles, i'm actually glad you threw some words in there. I recently read one of your posts in the ladies only forum (don't ask why i was there), and that's what encouraged me to write this one.

You said:

"Buahaha I wanted to make a comment like this but I thought this isn't c&c don't be like that, but thx ladies for making it easier to say this:

Infatuation, the wonderful giggly butterfly feeling, thinking of them night and day, we all get it at some point, no one's love is less or more than others, It's a subjective feeling.

That being said, OP sounds a bit clingy with the whole "hold on to him/never letting go" men aren't always as intense as women are, if you come out to strong he might feel smothered, you shouldn't have to plan or force anything.

It sounds pretty lame but love really is like a butterfly, if you hold on to it carelessly it slips away if you hold on to it too tight you will crush it"


I thought - THATS IT! that's exactly what happened to us, especially the too strong part. I'm pretty sure you're right too, in the direction I need to go I mean; and damn, that's going to kill her inside. I would tell you guys to wish me luck, but they don't give that out to assholes like this guy.

Thanks for listening and advising everyone.

BD

I forget how wise I am when it's not my own life I'm thinking about LOL
That being said, it sounds like you just dont have the balls to end it due to not wanting to hurt her, you hurt her EVERY DAY that goes by letting her think you want a future together. She's a big girl, she'll eventually be ok. Based on what you said before, when you break up with her DO NOT return her calls or answer her texts, she will lure you right back in.
 
Have you considered that you may in fact be GAY? You say she is a good catch but you're not interested.....i recommend anal penetration. You need to rule that out of the equation. From here it sounds like you may even be Danish Girl material. You visit a girl talk forum and resonate with the female perspective as wise....for your own happiness i suggest you participate in homosexuality related practises.

Good Luck and all the best. I am sure your journey of self discovery will reveal a side of you that you seem to repress.
 
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Pretty sure you stole that whole thing from a Springsteen song. Mediocre life, mediocre wife. This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, how did I get here? Same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was
 
Pretty sure you stole that whole thing from a Springsteen song. Mediocre life, mediocre wife. This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, how did I get here? Same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was

I think he's way too young to appreciate and/or know a Springsteen song. ;)
 
Pretty sure you stole that whole thing from a Springsteen song. Mediocre life, mediocre wife. This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, how did I get here? Same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was


That TH song has no connection to the Boss...
 
You guys are hilarious,

No, I'm not gay ha1a1, at least I don't think so, she seemed perfect at first and then I started noticing things that I really couldn't get over. We spent so much time together though, I just stayed with it. I already said, I really didn't have the balls to break it off, 1. because I hate to see her cry, and 2. she was very good to me (sometimes in a smothering way) and it was hard for me to stomp on her heart. 3. I want to stay, but for the wrong reasons (because of the time we've invested, and not strictly because I have the same feelings for her that she has for me). All that said, I feel its a waste, If you have ever been with a girl or female of any type (dog, donkey, chicken) you'd know they look they give you when they love you. Your danish reference was funny, but like I said, I searched for posts on this before I started my on thread - like any good thread started would do - and before I checked it, I was in an all female forum. I got out of there as soon as I could, I might have some emotional damage from that too.

h_t_ I'm not really seeing how that reference works for this thread, but thanks for making an attempt. I'm from The Bronx and I think Springsteen (The Boss) was Born in the USA and used to say it over and over on a channel called MTV that used to play nothing but music videos. Cali may be right in the appreciation factor.

inverteddicktaker - I have no idea what h_t_ is whining about

Thanks again for the ear ladies and gents,

BD
 
I wish you the best man, there is no easy answer, and while the internets make a good sounding board for relationship advice (believe me, I have used it many times) ultimate it will come down to how you feel.

I have found myself in a similar situation many times and it is really hard. I find that guys typically know a relationship is over long before they officially end it. Women can also do this too, but I've seen it a lot in men, sometimes the relationship will go on for years after one of the people know of feel deep down that something is just too "off" for this to be a lifetime long relationship.
 
You guys are hilarious,

No, I'm not gay ha1a1, at least I don't think so, she seemed perfect at first and then I started noticing things that I really couldn't get over. We spent so much time together though, I just stayed with it. I already said, I really didn't have the balls to break it off, 1. because I hate to see her cry, and 2. she was very good to me (sometimes in a smothering way) and it was hard for me to stomp on her heart. 3. I want to stay, but for the wrong reasons (because of the time we've invested, and not strictly because I have the same feelings for her that she has for me). All that said, I feel its a waste, If you have ever been with a girl or female of any type (dog, donkey, chicken) you'd know they look they give you when they love you. Your danish reference was funny, but like I said, I searched for posts on this before I started my on thread - like any good thread started would do - and before I checked it, I was in an all female forum. I got out of there as soon as I could, I might have some emotional damage from that too.

h_t_ I'm not really seeing how that reference works for this thread, but thanks for making an attempt. I'm from The Bronx and I think Springsteen (The Boss) was Born in the USA and used to say it over and over on a channel called MTV that used to play nothing but music videos. Cali may be right in the appreciation factor.

inverteddicktaker - I have no idea what h_t_ is whining about

Thanks again for the ear ladies and gents,

BD


Sooooo....what he's saying is I was right


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I wish you the best man, there is no easy answer, and while the internets make a good sounding board for relationship advice (believe me, I have used it many times) ultimate it will come down to how you feel.

I have found myself in a similar situation many times and it is really hard. I find that guys typically know a relationship is over long before they officially end it. Women can also do this too, but I've seen it a lot in men, sometimes the relationship will go on for years after one of the people know of feel deep down that something is just too "off" for this to be a lifetime long relationship.


And then they'll have kids and before you know it, he's on POF looking for sex, telling some 20 something lonely girl he's just staying for the kids...

Btw..
Nice to see ya Lestat [emoji4]


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And then they'll have kids and before you know it, he's on POF looking for sex, telling some 20 something lonely girl he's just staying for the kids...

Btw..
Nice to see ya Lestat [emoji4]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He's swipping right over and over
 
You don't want to marry her, you don't see a future with her, you don't love her and you feel trapped. You're clearly done.

I agree with everything Nan said except the last three words.

Your posts have made it very clear that she is not someone you see yourself with forever. But clearly you like having her around and the security of a "relationship".

Now, it does sound like you're wasting her time because she wants the "happily ever after". But she's not pressuring you for that commitment and maybe that's not what you're looking for with anyone.

So, you can stick it out for a while longer if you think it's worth it. There is no long term future for the two of you but there will still be pain for both of you when it ends.

Take it now or put it off until later. This sounds like a girl that you could talk into giving 30-minute marathon blowjobs so you may want to hold on to that for a while.
 
Maybe you want her to be some ideal which you have constructed based on experiences you had in your childhood.

Just do what makes you happy and pursue your goals in your own time and when your done go hang out with her.

As long as you dont lose your self identity its all good...

If she doesnt lie and cheat then you got a good one...
 
And then they'll have kids and before you know it, he's on POF looking for sex, telling some 20 something lonely girl he's just staying for the kids...

Btw..
Nice to see ya Lestat [emoji4]


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nice to see you too!!
 
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