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Things you do not say when pulled over by the police

bb079

bb079

New member
Didnt I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week?

So, ugh, you on the take or what?

I only had one officer, Mr. Keg.

I know I was weaving, but I cant find the Honey Hideout.

On the way to the station, lets pick up a twelve pack.

You'll never get those cuffs on me.....You pussy.

Hey was'nt your daughter a pork queen?

Come on, write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
 
Yes, Officer, I do know why I was going so fast.

I applied pressure with my foot to the accelerator pedal. That opened the throttle allowing more fuel-air mixture into the cylinders. The resulting increased combustion pressure increased the cyclic rate of the system, increasing the rotational velocity of the tires. This propelled the car forward at a higher rate.

Did you study physics at all, or are you just a dumbass?
 
asking a cop if you can flea the scene of an accident to go to class...lol...he threatened to arrest me after i said that...and boy was i fucked up
 
bb079 said:
Didnt I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week?

So, ugh, you on the take or what?

I only had one officer, Mr. Keg.

I know I was weaving, but I cant find the Honey Hideout.

On the way to the station, lets pick up a twelve pack.

You'll never get those cuffs on me.....You pussy.

Hey was'nt your daughter a pork queen?

Come on, write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Click to expand...

Bwaaahahaha!! That's the best one I've ever heard!! I'll have to remember that one for next time!!:FRlol:
 
I hate cops, you fucking pig. Either give me a ticket or get the fuck away from my car and go back to eating donuts, you powerhungry tiny penised overcompensating moron.
 
my lawyer told me to read from the card:Officer,please understand.I refuse to talk to you,other than to Identify myself,until I consult with my lawyer.I also refuse to consent to any search of these premises under my control,or in which I have a possessory,property,or privacy intrest including my car,my body or effects.I futher refuse to consent to the taking of any portion of my proprety,or any specimen of my breath,bodily fluids or tissue,for scientific analyisis other than for a roadside screening device,without the opportunity to obtain the advice of my lawyer.I desire to exercise all my rights guaranteed by the Constitution of Canada to be free from your interference with my person or affairs.If you attemt to question me.I want my lawyer present.I refuse to participate in any line up or perform any physical acts,or to speak or display my person and or property at your discretion,without first consulting my lawyer.If I am under arrest,I wish to invoke and excersize my constitutuional rights.If you ignore my excersize of these rights and attemt to procure a waiver,I want to confer with my lawyer prior to and conversations with you.If I am not under arrest,I want to leave.If I am free to leave,please tell me immediatley so I may go about me business.
this wont work for the Americans,but will for any Canuks
 
Once a female cop gave me a ticket for making a turn out of the wrong lane. It was very late at night and I was working security and going to make a quick check of a bank. I didn't know my way around and there were no other vehicles on the road. I actually did turn out of the proper lane, I just got over at the last second. When she gave me the ticket, I wadded it up in front of her and through it in the street. She said, "Now Im gonna give you a ticket for littering." I said, "No you're not." And I jumped out of my car and picked up the ticket. The bitch.
 
biteme said:
Once a female cop gave me a ticket for making a turn out of the wrong lane. It was very late at night and I was working security and going to make a quick check of a bank. I didn't know my way around and there were no other vehicles on the road. I actually did turn out of the proper lane, I just got over at the last second. When she gave me the ticket, I wadded it up in front of her and through it in the street. She said, "Now Im gonna give you a ticket for littering." I said, "No you're not." And I jumped out of my car and picked up the ticket. The bitch.
Click to expand...

LOL!! I can't stand chic cops! They have half the skills and twice the "attitude" of male cops! :rolleyes:
 
bb079 said:
Didnt I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week?

So, ugh, you on the take or what?

I only had one officer, Mr. Keg.

I know I was weaving, but I cant find the Honey Hideout.

On the way to the station, lets pick up a twelve pack.

You'll never get those cuffs on me.....You pussy.

Hey was'nt your daughter a pork queen?

Come on, write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Click to expand...
how about " Do you wanna drag race?" lol.
 
i like getting pulled over

you should see their faces when i pull the mac 10 out from the drivers side door panel
 
My friend who is a cop pulled some kid over and he says "I know officer (bluehen's freind)" My friend was like oh you do? Gave him two tickets instead!
 
biteme said:
Once a female cop gave me a ticket for making a turn out of the wrong lane. It was very late at night and I was working security and going to make a quick check of a bank. I didn't know my way around and there were no other vehicles on the road. I actually did turn out of the proper lane, I just got over at the last second. When she gave me the ticket, I wadded it up in front of her and through it in the street. She said, "Now Im gonna give you a ticket for littering." I said, "No you're not." And I jumped out of my car and picked up the ticket. The bitch.
Click to expand...


That was pretty stupid. You let her make a fool of you by tossing the ticket.
 
I ran a red light, didn't stop the stop sign, speeding at about 90 mph in a school zone actually when a police pulled you over you can't pretty much say anything, anything that you say to them is a lie so your pretty much fuck up.
 
Hello officer, are you going to give me a ticket today you fat fuck? Goodnight folks. :)
 
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
 
biteme said:
Once a female cop gave me a ticket for making a turn out of the wrong lane. It was very late at night and I was working security and going to make a quick check of a bank. I didn't know my way around and there were no other vehicles on the road. I actually did turn out of the proper lane, I just got over at the last second. When she gave me the ticket, I wadded it up in front of her and through it in the street. She said, "Now Im gonna give you a ticket for littering." I said, "No you're not." And I jumped out of my car and picked up the ticket. The bitch.
Click to expand...
My father did that and got a ticket for littering. In return he charged the cop with sticking what was apparently by his definition litter under his windshield, or whatever. they never bothered to fight it out and dad never paid either ticket
 
Apparently , I was in a hurry , can you just send the ticket to my house, or better yet meet me at the bar? I really don't have time to sit here and wait for you to do whatever it is you do.
 
i once got pulled over doing 100 in a school zone after running over 3 children and an old woman when i ran a red light after making an illegal u-turn driving down a one way street with a hooker sucking me off as i did blow on the dash and i just said thank you and the officer said i was so polite he ripped up the ticket
 
About 20 years ago, they hired a female hwy patrol in the local area. About a week later, she stopped some truckers who overpowered her, handcuffed her hands to her steering wheel while she stood outside her drivers side window. Then they pulled her pants down and high-tailed it out of there. That was the talk of the town, and she quit the force right after that.

Try this one next time:
"Going to fast? Funny, thats what your daughter said to me last night!"
 
buffer1 said:
my lawyer told me to read from the card:Officer,please understand.I refuse to talk to you,other than to Identify myself,until I consult with my lawyer.I also refuse to consent to any search of these premises under my control,or in which I have a possessory,property,or privacy intrest including my car,my body or effects.I futher refuse to consent to the taking of any portion of my proprety,or any specimen of my breath,bodily fluids or tissue,for scientific analyisis other than for a roadside screening device,without the opportunity to obtain the advice of my lawyer.I desire to exercise all my rights guaranteed by the Constitution of Canada to be free from your interference with my person or affairs.If you attemt to question me.I want my lawyer present.I refuse to participate in any line up or perform any physical acts,or to speak or display my person and or property at your discretion,without first consulting my lawyer.If I am under arrest,I wish to invoke and excersize my constitutuional rights.If you ignore my excersize of these rights and attemt to procure a waiver,I want to confer with my lawyer prior to and conversations with you.If I am not under arrest,I want to leave.If I am free to leave,please tell me immediatley so I may go about me business.
this wont work for the Americans,but will for any Canuks
Click to expand...

It would work for the Americans too. Though it would have to be a lot shorter. In fact, all they have to do is ask a few questions and definitely say No to the searches. Many people do not know their rights when it comes to being stopped and/or arrested. If they did more than half of the episodes of Cops wouldn't exist (especially, the "Can I look in your trunk" episodes).
 
don't say, have you ever considered weight watchers instead of that donut?"
 
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