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The Shit Hits the Fan....
- Thread starter Big Brother Val
- Start date
THeMaCHinE
New member
Big Brother Val said:
It would probably be better for each of you (or just you) to start individual counseling before going to the marriage counselor together. It will give you a chance to figure out yourself a little bit and get some great advice before taking the next step. It will help you deal with things on an individual level, and she will notice the empowerment that you are receiving. Individual counseling is covered by insurance, but marriage is generally not. After a couple sessions, you can have your individual counselor diagnose you with adjustment disorder (which is a pretty throw-away term so don't let it bother you) so that you can go to a marriage counselor and have it covered.
Don't worry about it being your style or not being your style. It takes a bigger man to admit that he might benefit from it, than to just sit and wallow and become angry at life. People don't balk at taking their cars to a mechanic when the timing is off, this is the same thing. Emotions are off a little and you can use a little adjustment. You're just expediting the process by hiring a professional.
Big Brother Val
New member
THeMaCHinE said:
Well... I don't think I'm going to do any private investigators... I'm not gonna record any phone calls. I don't see the point.
She beat the emotional shit out of me last night, and showed that it doesn't matter what type of facts I present to her, she won't listen. Even facts that show some of the things that this woman supposedly did to me, like talking to her husband on the phone, while leaning over into my chair, kissing my chest while I drove around... if you saw this woman's body, and my car... you'd realize it's a PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY for her to do this. And my lady discards that as well.
My "friend" told her about women I've slept with in my past (that I didn't actually sleep with, mind you) and even told her I got a prostitute in Vegas. Cool huh? And yeah... she believes it all. She thinks that everything I've told her has been a lie.
So there's no point.
I can't put all of my heart into a woman who has zero faith in it. She's now even turning away things she KNOWS to be true about me, and what I am as a person, simply because my "friend" tells her not to believe.
I want to harm the man.
She defends him, and tells me not to make him out to be the bad guy... and not to blame his wife, because she "tells the truth about what a disgusting loser" I am.
I feel like tapping out.
Giving up.
I can't give up on life totally... I have the three most beautiful children on Earth... but I have NEVER had ANYONE in my life believe so little in me.
I am broken.
NY Muscle
Well-known member
'Big Brother Val said:
bro, tell her to go fuck herself and that you are fed up she wont believe you and tell her that the WHOLE TOPIC is DROPPED and to never talk to you about it again since she has made her decision who she believes, tell her its POINTLESS to talk about it...since she wont beleive you, then why bother....see your kids when u can, tell her its all about the kids now and thats it, because she just betrayed your love by believeing some losers and not someone she has "claimed" to be in love with all these years....yup..turn it around on her...tell her if she really loved you shed at least listen and give it more thought and that all these years must of been a lie...cause if she truly did love you shed not be doing what she did.....then hang up on her...dont pick up the phone, dont call her back...let that thought marinate in her head..she will go nuts. fuck that man you dont need that type of shit.
A
AziaReign
Guest
This breaks my heart BBV.............I am very sorry.
Obviously she doesn't trust you, her lover, her mate..............she has lost trust in you, lost faith and there is no way for her to get it back regardless..........which means (even though it hurts like hell) that you must move on..........be the stronger person. To have "friends" that are so deceitful and vindictive.........unremarkable.............they must have had a point to ruin your relationship. (i've read most of this thread, not all)
#1) For sure, which you already know, you don't need "friends" like that.............that are bringing you down to their level. Scumbags......habitual liars, getting off on hurting other people.
#2) You don't need your wife. Trust is one of THEE most important keys in a relationship, once you lose that, whats the point of going on loving the other person. (when you'll always want to watch your back)
Get my point? What you need to do now, is concentrate on a few main priorities:
Yourself, and your children.
If you are not happy with yourself, you are not going to be happy with anything/anyone. (I repeat myself a lot) You have to look deep into yourself and realize WHO YOU ARE, you know who you are. You still have to wake up in the morning, you still have to get ready for work, you still have to take care of your children, you still have to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
I'm sending a few smiles your way hun................I'm very sorry for your situation............
Obviously she doesn't trust you, her lover, her mate..............she has lost trust in you, lost faith and there is no way for her to get it back regardless..........which means (even though it hurts like hell) that you must move on..........be the stronger person. To have "friends" that are so deceitful and vindictive.........unremarkable.............they must have had a point to ruin your relationship. (i've read most of this thread, not all)
#1) For sure, which you already know, you don't need "friends" like that.............that are bringing you down to their level. Scumbags......habitual liars, getting off on hurting other people.
#2) You don't need your wife. Trust is one of THEE most important keys in a relationship, once you lose that, whats the point of going on loving the other person. (when you'll always want to watch your back)
Get my point? What you need to do now, is concentrate on a few main priorities:
Yourself, and your children.
If you are not happy with yourself, you are not going to be happy with anything/anyone. (I repeat myself a lot) You have to look deep into yourself and realize WHO YOU ARE, you know who you are. You still have to wake up in the morning, you still have to get ready for work, you still have to take care of your children, you still have to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
I'm sending a few smiles your way hun................I'm very sorry for your situation............
NY Muscle
Well-known member
manny78 said:
i can sometines be an irrational sick vindictive fuck like manny
and hes RIGHT.id tell your boys wife that if she dont fess up her hubby is gonna get the BEATDOWN of his life...
i hope you have some friends like mine in ny that would JUMP at the opportunity to break some necks on a sat night.
good luck.
TEXgrl
New member
BBV,
i hate to see you have to give up your relationship. i dont have any advice for you except to quit taking her calls. Quit being BEAT up emotionally on a daily basis. no one deserves this kind of treatment. if she really loved you, she would try to move past this.
i may be a pushover, but if i really love someone, there are very few things i wont forgive once. her unwillingness to even try to move on would be a big flag that you don't mean that much to her. hurting you seems to be more important than loving you and that is a twisted way of looking at things.
listening to the hateful things she is saying is making you feel bad about yourself. don't let anyone beat you down. if someone loves you, they should pump you up, not beat you down. thats not love, that is abuse. i lived that life for a long time. life is too short to have someone around who doesn't make you feel good about you.
good luck
i hate to see you have to give up your relationship. i dont have any advice for you except to quit taking her calls. Quit being BEAT up emotionally on a daily basis. no one deserves this kind of treatment. if she really loved you, she would try to move past this.
i may be a pushover, but if i really love someone, there are very few things i wont forgive once. her unwillingness to even try to move on would be a big flag that you don't mean that much to her. hurting you seems to be more important than loving you and that is a twisted way of looking at things.
listening to the hateful things she is saying is making you feel bad about yourself. don't let anyone beat you down. if someone loves you, they should pump you up, not beat you down. thats not love, that is abuse. i lived that life for a long time. life is too short to have someone around who doesn't make you feel good about you.
good luck
NY Muscle said:
i can sometines be an irrational sick vindictive fuck like manny
id tell your boys wife that if she dont fess up her hubby is gonna get the BEATDOWN of his life...
i hope you have some friends like mine in ny that would JUMP at the opportunity to break some necks on a sat night.
good luck.
Fuck beating him down, BEAT THAT FUCKING BITCH DOWN. I am telling ya man wait outside her work in a friends car in a ski mask jump out and fuck this bitch up 7 ways from sunday. Some of you people are to damn calm we are testosterone pumping madmen damn it =p. I don't know how in the world you have kept your cool my brotha because if that bitch would have said to me on the phone Don't try to ruin MY relationship I would have went straight over there and be facing two counts of manslaughter right now when I shot the both in the fucking head. I suggest distancing yourself from the entire situation stay around for your kids but fuck your ol lady man if she doesn't believe or even LISTEN to a word you say and takes other peoples word over yours that bitch isn't worth it anyway. Lates
Drizz
ZenMachine
New member
I hesitate to wade in on the post as I think the Machine is giving you excellent advice.
I sounds to me like your girlfriend is hurt and is doing everything she can to hurt you too. At some point you need to take measures to protect yourself from the continued onslaught. I think at this point either not taking her phone calls or ending them quickly once it turns ugly is the way to go.
Unfortunately it appears that you are finding out who you can count on in this world and it turns out your best friend is not one of those people. You don't need someone in you life like that at all. I would end any relationship you have with him. He isn't worth it and you deserve better.
While beating his dumbass may make you feel better, I don't think it will accomplish anything. I respect the fact that you are taking the high road.
Are things adequately set up as far as your child together goes. Paternity establish, child support order in place, etc. If not you need to watch out for these issues as well.
Zen
I sounds to me like your girlfriend is hurt and is doing everything she can to hurt you too. At some point you need to take measures to protect yourself from the continued onslaught. I think at this point either not taking her phone calls or ending them quickly once it turns ugly is the way to go.
Unfortunately it appears that you are finding out who you can count on in this world and it turns out your best friend is not one of those people. You don't need someone in you life like that at all. I would end any relationship you have with him. He isn't worth it and you deserve better.
While beating his dumbass may make you feel better, I don't think it will accomplish anything. I respect the fact that you are taking the high road.
Are things adequately set up as far as your child together goes. Paternity establish, child support order in place, etc. If not you need to watch out for these issues as well.
Zen
