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The Nature Freaks vs. The Big Assplorers!!!

freak daddy

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The Freaks Of Nature vs. The Big Assplorers!!!

With all the empty threats coming from Big Brother Val and the Anal Assplorer, Freak Daddy and The Nature Boy, AKA The Freaks of Nature, decided to get revenge on the Big Assplorers. With The Big Assplorers fluke win against The Freaks Of Nature looming in the air like the Mulkey twins big fluke win in the 80's, we decided to challenge The Big Assplorers to a Mexican Barbed Wire match in a Bingo Hall in Mexico City.


Things get interesting quick as we all enter the ring, Big Brother Val goes ballistic, realizing that some luchadors were the one that stole his Wrestling ring, and we were all standing in that very ring. With Anal Assplorer consoling his partner Big Brother Val, The Freaks Of Nature quickly take advantage. As Freak Daddy and The Nature Boy begin stomping the crap out of these two one match wonders, we notice that Anal Assplorer had brought some foreign objects to the ring. A 12" double ended dildo, and ball and gag. We knew something was strange when Double A entered the ring and had some strange bulges in his too-too.

As we tie the two low card jabronis in the barb wire, The Nature Boy decides to get revenge on Anal Assplorer for delivering his Orfice Invading finishing maneuver on him just weeks before. With The 12" dildo in the Nature Boys hand, he decides to wrap it in barbed wire. WOOOOOO you here Nature Boy scream, now it's time to go to school. At that very moment he starts to ream Anal Assplorer in the most grotesque maneuver you have ever seen. The Nature Boy delivers The Anal Cleanser.

With Double A out of the picture, we turn our attention to the bleached blond, yellow and red wearing Hogan want to be, named Big Brother Val. As he dropped to both knees , begging for his life. He thought about showing some mercy, but that did'nt last long when thoughts of the two leg drops, he dropped on Freak lingered still in the Bingo Hall. As Nature Boy starts laying in his devastating knife edge chops to BBV's chest, we notice a something else yellow. Piss running down Big Brother Vals legs.
With revenge still on Freak's mind he grabs Val by his bleached locks and begings to rub his face in his own pool of urine. Now with BBV blinded by his own urine, we decide to put Double A's ball and gag on BBV. This was classic. With Double A still laying outside the ring with a dildo protruding from his rectum, we decide to bring him back in the ring for the big finish.

At this moment you could feel the energy in the Bingo Hall reach to unthinkable levels. The greatest outcome was about to be written in the history books.

With Double A screaming like a poor Mexican cabana boy after an Lizmark Jr. match. We put him on his stomach. With about 6" of dildo sticking out of his rectum, with Freak Daddy holding Double A down, The Nature Boy decides to perform a flying freak bomb off the top rope. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you here Double A scream, the Freak Bomb hit it's target, driving the final 6" of dildo in Double A.

Now to finish off Big Brother Val!!!! As Nature Boy puts BBV in the figure four, Freak goes and wraps barbed wire on his quads. Next thing you know Freak climbs the ropes, and executes the most devastating leg drop Mexico has ever seen. Now with blood pouring from BBV's face, Freak climbs the ropes once more. WWWHHHAAMMMM!!!! Freak hits the leg drop once more, and covers BBV for the 1-2-3.

Once again The Freaks Of Nature are the EWF World Tag Champs!!!!
 
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Jerry Lawler: JR well I must say, that was certainly quiet the exciting match. I mean, I have never seen such a match before. And just think, it is a 2 out of 3 falls match. We still have more to go.

Jim Ross: King, I will say this... I don't think anyone expects the Big Assplorer Brothers to recover. Just look at the Freaks of Nature, they are already leaving the ring.... WAIT!! Listen King, you hear that?

Jerry Lawler: I hear it! I hear it!

Jim Ross: The fans are chanting.... listen to it.... it is deafening....

***fans chanting WE WANT ANAL***

Jim Ross : King look! It's working.. Anal is coming too. ... it looks like the knee pads are coming off for this next round.... and there is BBV. He is hulking up......

Jerry Lawler: JR I don't know what to think... neither does the Freaks, they are up on the ramp, shaking in their boots......

Jim Ross: Oh No!! LOOK!! It's On Now!!!!

***Anal and BBV jump the ropes and dash up the ramp***

Jim Ross : Oh lord, this is like a Pier Six Slobberknocker.... The Nature Freaks can't believe this is happening.... I can't believe it either.... Oh Lord. this is carnage...

Jerry Lawler: BBV and Anal are leading them back to the ring. They are going to showcase this beating under the spotlights....

Jim Ross: Those Freaks are running like a couple of scaldec dogs...

Jerry Lawler: Fans, it is ON! Anal just deliverd a pile driver, NO TWO of them to Freak Daddy. Now... what is this?? In his hand, what is it JR?

Jim Ross: I don't know... it looks like he is wrapping a foreign object around his fist...

Jerry Lawler: Foreign object my ass. Those are anal beads... made in the USA. Oh..... He is plastering right hands up against Freak Daddy's head. Those anal beads have busted him open. Oh look at the blood... somebody call Red Cross...

Jim Ross: Somebody call his momma.

Jerry Lawler: These fans have never witnessed such bloodshed. Anal and BBV are getting AZTEC on their asses....

Jim Ross: Speaking of BBV, those wimpy chops of Nature Boy are having no effect.. LOOK! BBV is just shrugging them off. Right hand, right hand... oh... Nature boy walks three steps and falls face first to the canvas... BBV grabs him and pulls him to the ropes... He is dragging the Nature Boys forehead down the strands of barb wire.....

Jerry Lawler: All this blood is sending these fans into a feeding frenzy.... WAIT!! I have just been notified.... all Luchadores in the back have packed their bags and stolen all cars with Enterprise Rental stickers on the back.....

Jim Ross: Back to the match...

Jerry Lawler: back to the match... oh wait, this is not a match up, more like a mismatch, these two Freaks do not stand a chance. Anal is hanging Freak Daddy upside down in the corner..... now runnning and HOLY SMOKES,.... he just delivered his patented Astro Glide. A variation of the sliding baseball kick to the face.

Jim Ross: Freak is saying his Hail Mary's now....

***in ring Anal is tauting Freak "Who you calling Mary, bitch!?!"****

Jim Ross: Nature Boy has yet to mount any effective offense against BBV. What is going to do now that Anal is coming over??? Looks like some messy double teaming is about to occur....

Jerry Lawler: Looks that way to me... it looks like.. it looks as if.... Oh. My. God. Who would have thought a tequila bottle would have fit up there?

Jim Ross: Oh Lord... that looks like it hurts.

Jerry Lawler: I think we are about to see the second pinfall right here. BBV is dragging Freak down from the corner and into the middle of the ring..... he is pumping up the crowd....


****BBV in ring giving thumbs up... shouting... "HULKAMANIA IN DE CASA!!!"******

Jim Ross: Oh here it is... yes... wait..... here it comes again.... yes... oh wait... again...... again.... again... (pausing...) NINE LEG DROPS IN A ROW.... Damn Freak is nothing but a smear stain on the mat now......."

Jim Ross: 1-2-3!!!!!

***Ding Ding Ding****

Jim Ross: Round two is over, the scored is tied one pinfall a piece. The medics are moving in to scrap Freak off the mat...

Jerry Lawler: Those are not medics.... I have never seen medics fight over gold tooth fillings before....

Jim Ross: Back to the action.... BBV is climbing out of the ring... looks like he is going to leave Anal to take care of Nature Boy on his own.....

***BBV hops railing and sits down besides fan.... "Yo Mamacita, whatcha doing after the show? Want to hook it up and let the BBV run wild on you? What's ya name? RICARDO!???!?? WTF???? "********

Jerry Lawler: Don't think that is going well over there. Back to the aciton... in the ring I mean...

Jim Ross: Anal is going to work on the nature boy.... Nature Boy is about offensive as a nerd at a muscle camp..... Anal is... Oh Lord... King do you see that......

Jerry Lawler: I sure do.... EWWWW... I know Nature Boy calls himself the dirtiest player in the game... but I dind't know he meant in terms of SCAT!!

Jim Ross: He just shit himself...... Even Anal looks disgusted by this turn of events......

Jerry Lawler: but it has not calmed him down any... here we see Anal dragging Nature boy up by his hair.... he is getting him in position... yes.. we may see it here tonight... he lifts him up, spins around and ..

***Joey Styles runs from backstage with mic in hand "OHMYGAWD!!!!"***

Jim Ross: Oh my... the Anal Slam.

Jerry Lawler: Dropped him O-Ring first to the canvas and now... it looks like this is going to be it..... He is doing his victory dance.....

Jim Ross: The Moonwalk!!!! He is hitting his cue.......

***Do You Believe in Life After Love by Cher floats out across the intercom****

Jerry Lawler: He is pulling down the Nature Boy's pants.... He is... what is doing JR?

Jim Ross: I don't know... why it looks like he is wrapping his hand with something... something shiny... it looks like ALUMINUM FOIL!!!!

Jerry Lawler: Oh Lord.... He has it applied.... he has it applied... The Orfice Invader..... It is locked on...... Nature Boy is tapping out.... Nature boy is screaming and crying like an immigrant without a green card......

Jim Ross: There it is... the ref is calling for the bell.... it is over.... Nature Boy has passed out....

Jerry Lawler: It looks like he is smiling....

Jim Ross: Huh? Why it does..

***JR and King look at one another one "EEWWWWWWWWW"***

Jerry Lawler: Freaks of Nature lose. The champs keep their record intact....

Jim Ross: Whoa. Man... it is going to be a while before Freak and Nature even begin to resemble the pics on their passports.
 
well done freak. Bravo.

Yet this jabroni AA comes into our thread and tried to ruin it with his version. It's totally not believeable for 2 reasons:

1) Tony Schevani wasnt doing the announcing. If he was, you would know that the televised show would always end before the match would, resulting in Tony and J.R. saying; "We gotta go folks! Oh my God!!!"

2) we didn't win.
 
HA HA HA!!!

FABULOUS!

Freak... you should at least play fair. I know you don't have the balls to post the entire match.

Like a coward, you only show the EWF fans what you want them to see.

Just wait until our HUMAN BURRITO match.

I've got 10 lbs. of refried beans with your name on it, chump.

And Nature Boy, don't worry. You'll be walking without a limp, and pooping without tears in your eyes soon. Did you have to get stiches on that thing after the Orifice Invader?


***Disclaimer*** Big Brother Val has nothing but respect for his tag team partner. But Val loves his women, if you know what I mean.*****
 
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