the good,the bad,the ugly

[freakazoid]

whell i dont really know if this is the right place to post this truth is i really dont know where to turn.i am 33 divorced with a 10yr olddaughter that i have during the school year,her mom has her right now.i have a great job that pays well,a beautifull home,nice cars but i am depressed to the point of not knowing what imight do.i am trying to recover from opiate addiction and was given suboxone witch dosnt work for me so i take methadone on my own of course.i just recieved a dui witch would make my 3rd in 6 yrs if convicted but i was not drinking the officer sent me totake a blood test wich it had been 21 hrs since i had taken 60mg of methadone.the reason i seemed messed upwas because it was 2am and i had just awaken and went into town to buy a soda.so my bloodwork may or may not show methadone in my blood since it stays for up to 24hrs and it had been about 3 days prior to the 60 mg since i took anything.but even before this i was majorly depressed i just lost my mother to cancer 6mo. ago,my father took his life a few years ago.my wife left me for another man,we lost our home because of that.i am ate up with guilt,pain,addiction,anxioty.i miss work and lay around,have no ambition or goals,i have been to rehab about a year ago to get off pain meds wich i have thanks to methadone but i am begenning to think i will never be happy again,and i dont want to keep on like this.i have been on numerous anti depressions that has done nothing to help.

 

[BNG]

Find a faith based 12 step recovery group. Many churches have groups of recovering addicts that are a great support group and are more positive and uplifting than regular AA/NA types. A woman I know is in one at a "Four Square" church and she's a new person.

 

[covergrl80]

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time.

You need to find a few good people to talk to. Going to church is a good thing and it's a start.

Your number one in your life is your Daughter. Forget about the wife, she can be replaced. You can not be replaced as a Father. Have a little faith in yourself and things will get better.

There were many of days where I was collecting 2-3 20lbs bowling balls and all I could do was throw one off at a time.

“You can not direct the winds but you can adjust the sails”

 

[yonkers weights]

Good luck bro. Find some solid friends and a group to talk with. Get help and I iwsh you the best!

 

[jh1]

Clock Work is a drug conselor he can help you.


Either that or he'll let you foam at the mouth and die on his office floor.

 

[billfred]

Dude,

Desperate times may take desperate measures. First, let me start off that I was borned and raised and still am a Catholic so no hidden agenda here.

Have you ever checked into the Scientology health program? They believe that depression is a result of toxins built up in your body from drug use, traffic polution etc.

They put you in an intense program of sweating and vitamins to clense your body. Not promoting it, but hey it can't hurt at this point. I have never done it but listened to sane people talk about it with great conviction.

 

[freakazoid]

thanks for your replys,i am debating checking into rehab again but i am not sure where the problem lies,i dont really feel that i have a drug problem although i do take methadone just to try and not have withdrawl symptoms.i feel if i wasnt depressed i wouldnt need the drugs.and i would have to deal with work knowing all about my buissness,there is no such thing as patient confidentiality last time i checked into rehab the insurance company notified work that i was in for drug dependancy.then i had to visit hr at work when i got out and sighn a paper agreeing to random drug tests for the next 24 months

 

[Papa Lion]

sometimes you just have to go through the withdrawals and deal with the pain!! sorry that all sucks, and it's a tough boat to ride in... but life is hard and so you have to make the decision to either harden up and move with the eb an flow of life, learn to swim or drown in it's tides!! life ain't easy and and it never will be easy!! there are good times and there are bad but usually it's more of a combination... kinda like a pizza... so you don't like olives... but you only get ONE pizza, so you just pick off as many as possible and hopefully there's enough meat an cheese to cover the ones you can't!! good luck

 

[all the whey]

whell i dont really know if this is the right place to post this truth is i really dont know where to turn.i am 33 divorced with a 10yr olddaughter that i have during the school year,her mom has her right now.i have a great job that pays well,a beautifull home,nice cars but i am depressed to the point of not knowing what imight do.i am trying to recover from opiate addiction and was given suboxone witch dosnt work for me so i take methadone on my own of course.i just recieved a dui witch would make my 3rd in 6 yrs if convicted but i was not drinking the officer sent me totake a blood test wich it had been 21 hrs since i had taken 60mg of methadone.the reason i seemed messed upwas because it was 2am and i had just awaken and went into town to buy a soda.so my bloodwork may or may not show methadone in my blood since it stays for up to 24hrs and it had been about 3 days prior to the 60 mg since i took anything.but even before this i was majorly depressed i just lost my mother to cancer 6mo. ago,my father took his life a few years ago.my wife left me for another man,we lost our home because of that.i am ate up with guilt,pain,addiction,anxioty.i miss work and lay around,have no ambition or goals,i have been to rehab about a year ago to get off pain meds wich i have thanks to methadone but i am begenning to think i will never be happy again,and i dont want to keep on like this.i have been on numerous anti depressions that has done nothing to help.

 

[freakazoid]

theres always an asshole somewhere,probably some steroid adict yep been there done that to.sorry bro but if you want to insult and make fun of people you should make sure of thier sanity,i may be your neighbor with nothing to loose and could care less if i put u 6ft under