The Completely Useless Equipment Thread

[lweaver]

So today I opted to utilize my YMCA membership instead of trecking half an hour and back to the real gym I go to. First mistake.

I wanted to get my squatting done for the week. Guy is in the only squat rack, so I warm up with some light machine hack squats and then wait some more. Not a problem, except the place closes at 8:30...

So about 8:00 I walk up to the now empty rack, which is not a true power rack but a Smith Machine. How bad could it be? Really really bad. Not only is this monstrosity a Smith Machine, but it's some waste of scrap metal that moves both horizontally and vertically, negating the safety aspect of a friggin' smith machine in the first place. On this smith machine is a diagragm of a man doing a back squat with dime plates on the bar, labeled "front squat". I'm not a personal trainer or a Kinesiology expert, but please take my word that the picture was indeed of a back squat.

Anyway, I thought since it happened to move in two planes, that it wouldn't be hopeless. Wrong. I could't set the bar low on my traps, descend, ascend or get my ass back without the contraption trying to pull me forward or backward or limiting me in one direction or another. It just was not suited for a natural movement like the squat.

Then I tried Zerchers, and this thing made them not only difficult but dangerous by working against the natural movement of my hips. It's just brain-numbing that a facility would not only purchase such a piece of crap, but actually believe that it's a safe or effective piece of equipment.

Anyway, enough rant. Who else has encountered equipment that simply should not exist?

 

[miked8c]

At that point I would have chalked it up as a lost cause and squatted tomorrow. No way in hell would I try to squat with anything that looked like a Smith Machine. There would be no point, its not like I could log it, or measure my progress. Those instruments of the devils should be completely dismantled and shot into space.

Lets see.... Useless gym equipment.

The vag clenchers, utilized mainly by pregnant women. It consists of two pads that at the starting position angle your legs as if you were laying before a gynecological showing him your snatch. You then squeeze the pads together until your knees meet, that is 1 rep.

Seriously, I only see girls on this thing and you would swear they thought the machine would remove cellulite or some sht because they just sit there and pump out reps with the lowest possible weight, not even coming remotely closing to breaking a sweat. They think that by using this machine which emphasizes them closing their legs, they could erase their years of whoredom in the past. I have issues.

 

[cuthroat]

Lets see.... Useless gym equipment.

The vag clenchers, utilized mainly by pregnant women. It consists of two pads that at the starting position angle your legs as if you were laying before a gynecological showing him your snatch. You then squeeze the pads together until your knees meet, that is 1 rep.

Seriously, I only see girls on this thing and you would swear they thought the machine would remove cellulite or some sht because they just sit there and pump out reps with the lowest possible weight, not even coming remotely closing to breaking a sweat. They think that by using this machine which emphasizes them closing their legs, they could erase their years of whoredom in the past. I have issues.

Dude I was thinking the same thing you beat me to it.

 

[stevesmi]

i would say those ab coaster machines, or those ab ones you lay down in and crunch (i might see a 16 year old using those on occasion), or the ones you sit in and grab the top and pull down. pointless. squats and pullups are all you need for abs

and then the elliptical (i know i will hurt a lot of peoples feelings here) is the most OVERRATED machine out there. I wrote a long article on why its useless on the endurance section. using momentum... i see the same fat people using those machines day in and day out and get no where. its just a lazy way to exercise. run instead people

here is the info i put together, read the whole thread http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/endurance-training/lose-eliptical-737597.html

 

[miked8c]

I agree, it is less efficient for cardio than running, and much easier. Some people, like my father, use the elliptical because they have gone under knee surgery. He used to run all of the time, he was a boxer, but now all he can use is the elliptical in our basement.

Any alternatives you would recommend to the elliptical, that is low impact?

 

[stevesmi]

^^^^ in that situation ellipticals definately have their place.. if it hurts to run or walk then that is definately better than sitting on the couch with a beer. best alternative would be walking on a flat surface that is soft IF he can do it without pain.

its sad also but you have obese people who probably cannot run or even walk cause they are so fat, for them the elliptical is a good starting point.... but they really should move up to walking as soon as they can.

however anyone who is healthy needs to step up their game and find a track or trail to run. especially now that its summer so you cannot make any excuses. even consider jogging to the gym and then working out and then jogging home. i do that all the time

 

[the_alcatraz]

decline bench press is pretty useless if you know what you're doing in the gym.

 

[coolcloo]

decline bench press is pretty useless if you know what you're doing in the gym.

Agreed, dips instead of decline. Although I do hit decline dumbbells every now and then to change things up.

 

[JDid23]

Agreed, dips instead of decline. Although I do hit decline dumbbells every now and then to change things up.

for people whose shoulders hurt during dips like myself, declines are a nice alternative.

Decline benches aren't useless at all. I kinda realize i should be quoting alcatraz lol. Having said that, i don't really do declines, but they do have their place

 

[the_alcatraz]

for people whose shoulders hurt during dips like myself, declines are a nice alternative.

Decline benches aren't useless at all. I kinda realize i should be quoting alcatraz lol. Having said that, i don't really do declines, but they do have their place

I would do cable cross-overs. Decline presses are a waste of energy.

 

[Tblock1]

I think the way most people do ellipticals in useless. However when I first started working out I would use the elliptical and go really hard for like 15 to 20 minutes and keep increasing the intensity, time or strides per minute each workout. This actually got me in really great cardio shape at the time. However most people just kind of stride aimlessly along for 45 minutes to an hour and burn some calories but just teach their body to conserve calories overall, completely useless.

I think if you use it correctly though it can be great, although running has many advantages over it

 

[ExtraMile]

I would do cable cross-overs. Decline presses are a waste of energy.

Decline presses put your chest in the strongest position... They also give the strongest contractions.

Besides you used decline presses in your DC log last year.

lol @ cable crossovers

you're saying decline presses are a waste of energy but decline cable flyes are worth doing?

I'm just saying bro like I did in another thread, you should see that what has worked for you in the past isn't necessarily what works for everyone.

For example, you use the smith machine for presses, many people hate doing that.

 

[moya]

what is this talk of smith machine preses... say it ain't so...

 

[hardrock]

seated calf raises, dumbest fukin calf raise machine in existance, dont know how guys ever get ther legs under them wen its heavy

The ones I've used have a lever with a bar that supports the weight until you lift and move it aside.

As far as the low impact cardio workout, ride a spin bike. Or better yet, get out and ride a real one.

 

[moya]

The ones I've used have a lever with a bar that supports the weight until you lift and move it aside.

As far as the low impact cardio workout, ride a spin bike. Or better yet, get out and ride a real one.

ya, that machine sucks... im not that big, and i can barely squeeze my thighs under it...

 

[cwschimpff]

For me it's the shoulder press machine (I can't stand machines in general, but especially the shoulder press machine). I think what really gets me (aside from the general inferiority of machines in general) are those guys who wander into the gym, stack a couple of 45s on the shoulder press machine, grind out a few wrist-snapping, vertebrae-crushing reps, and then wince, stretch, and windmill their shoulders to show everyone what a "hard" workout they're doing.

Sure, you can do 180lb shoulder presses when a bunch of steel and bolts are keeping the weight running along the same path, but I dare you to go grab two 90lb dumbbells and try again... just make sure you've got a good spotter and your insurance card handy.

 

[Rebecca D]

My gym has a giant hammer type machine for calves. You sit in it and push out with your toes. It is plate loaded and bigger than the leg press machine next to it--which is much better and easier for calves. Nobody uses this machine yet it is the biggest machine in a two story Gold's Gym.

RD

 

[zedhed]

Not only most useless but also most distructive....wait for it.............................wait for it..............................................FUCKING LEG EXTENSION MACHINE!
Biggest POS ever developed for leg work. The single most body damaging machine in existance!

 

[SPEKTOR-AAA]

bad on the knees bro?

 

[wcjcMr.O]

The shake weight!!!!!! lol maybe if you need some practice in the bedroom, its not COMPLETELY useless. but for building any sort of size or shape. I dont see it happening. God why didnt I think of this before. That mother f-er is rich off that stupid thing. im getting angry now...........lol

 

[SPEKTOR-AAA]

hahahahah forgot about that little jake off look alike POS.....im mad too now!

 

[wcjcMr.O]

hahahahah forgot about that little jake off look alike POS.....im mad too now!

I know. and the commercials are so ridiculous. They show these buff ass dudes that that are most likely on the juice, shaking it and making faces like "O its so hard!!! I feel the burn!!!" LMAO I cant believe some people would actually believe you could build ANY sort of respectable physique with that thing. Its frustrating how ignorant people can be. But those stupid people give me hope.....I just need to come up with something like that, make a video of me using it, and im rich. lol

 

[zedhed]

bad on the knees bro?

Um YEAH BRO!!!
I think the only thing that you could do that might be worse would be to jump from 10 stories and purposly land on your kneecaps.

Yup its that bad bro!

 

[txpistol]

Not only most useless but also most distructive....wait for it.............................wait for it..............................................FUCKING LEG EXTENSION MACHINE!
Biggest POS ever developed for leg work. The single most body damaging machine in existance!

I dunno, the updated version of Arnold's encyclopedia explains he could not get full definition without the use if machines such as leg extensions and some. He does also talk of single plane motion and its negatives but he says more than anything, a machine and free weights have to share a balance
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[ExtraMile]

I dunno, the updated version of Arnold's encyclopedia explains he could not get full definition without the use if machines such as leg extensions and some. He does also talk of single plane motion and its negatives but he says more than anything, a machine and free weights have to share a balance
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lol at leg extensions giving you definition

the bullshit that I've read Arnold preaching is laughable at best

 

[txpistol]

I'm gonna have to go with somebody that has been working out and competing for over 4 decades. And the proof is in the pudding as far as proof. As far as preaching, 30 "experts" write a book about the save thing, it doesn't mean 29 are wrong, it means that there are multiple approaches to one thing

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[ExtraMile]

I'm gonna have to go with somebody that has been working out and competing for over 4 decades. And the proof is in the pudding as far as proof. As far as preaching, 30 "experts" write a book about the save thing, it doesn't mean 29 are wrong, it means that there are multiple approaches to one thing

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App

very true

so go follow arnolds's workout encylopedia for 10 years and let me know how you get on

i would actually be interested to see how it worked out

maybe you'll have to take steroids from the age of 15 like arnold did though

by that logic maybe Ill follow mike mentzer's HIT workouts and lift for 15mins per workout, once every 5-7 days. Since it obviously worked for him and his brother, its gotta work just as good for me, right?

and Vince Gironda! he was one of the top bodybuilders of his time, he said you should lower the bar to your throat when benchpressing (putting the shoulders in the most injury prone position possible) and put your feet on the bench or in the air (giving you the least stability possible), so since it obviously worked for him I guess Ill go do that too! right?

the point is our understanding of training and how the body responds has progressed massively since Arnold wrote his workout encyclopedia book, he is no longer one of the top people to follow as far as lifting advice goes.

 

[miked8c]

very true

so go follow arnolds's workout encylopedia for 10 years and let me know how you get on

i would actually be interested to see how it worked out

maybe you'll have to take steroids from the age of 15 like arnold did though

by that logic maybe Ill follow mike mentzer's HIT workouts and lift for 15mins per workout, once every 5-7 days. Since it obviously worked for him and his brother, its gotta work just as good for me, right?

and Vince Gironda! he was one of the top bodybuilders of his time, he said you should lower the bar to your throat when benchpressing (putting the shoulders in the most injury prone position possible) and put your feet on the bench or in the air (giving you the least stability possible), so since it obviously worked for him I guess Ill go do that too! right?

the point is our understanding of training and how the body responds has progressed massively since Arnold wrote his workout encyclopedia book, he is no longer one of the top people to follow as far as lifting advice goes.

owned

 

[txpistol]

Before the long defense and before the "owned" read what I wrote. I said not every approach is wrong yet different in ways. As for the 10 year bit, you've been lifting for a few years now, so don't try to be a pompous ass and try to take me to school. I put in my two cents and did the same thing as you're doing, spouting off something I read in a book. Also, bodybuilding has not changed so drastically as to discount older information. Go tell one of the old school giants in the gym to be careful for their rotator cuff on a pulldown and they'll probably look at you as being as impressive if not less impressive as the big shit they took that morning.

 

[ExtraMile]

I was not talking in reference to you saying that each person has a different take on training and neither is wrong.

I was refering to the bit where you said "I'll take the advice from someone who has been bodybuilding for decades because the proof is in the pudding when you look at the results he got" or something similar.

And I never said bodybuilding drastically changed, I said the information available to us now is far more advanced than in the 70s and 80s. Hence the training that was recomended back then be regarded as useless
now.

 

[txpistol]

But I cannot see it as being totally useless because the basic methods still apply. No lift has changed, some have been added. That's why the book was edited and updated around 2000. The same principles of lifting still apply.

 

[ceo]

Arnold's encyclopedia has about every exercise possible in it. Squats, bench and deads and a plethora of others. He did it all. He used to squat heavy till he puked. What he says and what he did aren't always the same.

 

[moya]

But I cannot see it as being totally useless because the basic methods still apply. No lift has changed, some have been added. That's why the book was edited and updated around 2000. The same principles of lifting still apply.

yes, and the principals of lifting are this: lift heavy shit, repeat...
you do that and eat your wheaties and you grow...
it does not take machines to make definition, that is absolutely absurd... that is diet...
the book was updated so that enthusiasts would buy a new copy...

back on topic... free weights reign supreme, most anything else is just glitter and puff...

 

[zedhed]

Nice find bro!
Nipple shakers for you my good man!

 

[moya]

hell yes... i always thought they were bad, well, from experience... they just feel like shit compared to any other leg movement and i can feel more sheer at the extention than on any other joint from any other exersise ive ever tried...
..but that is a damn good post...

 

[txpistol]

Thanks for the information, that is some good knowledge to get

 

[J Nicholas]

Back on topic. How about that pole that people keep picking up to twist with. Where do they come from? Why do beginning lifters feel the need to twist?