That crazy girl just came over to my house. Wtf?

[deco]

Okay, holy fucking shit. That was like the most fucked up thing ever. This is so not a story I should or want to tell probably but it's fucking funny if you aren't me so here goes. I'm still in shock. The whole thing went down as follows.

This broad comes into my home uninvited, walks into my room, jumps on top of me and says, "I have to be with you." Who fucking says shit like that? It took me 15 minutes to get her out of here. And no, I did not have sex with her.
I was saying shit like, "Would you listen to yourself? This is nuts. Get a hold of yourself. You're fucking nuts. Get the fuck out of my house you crazy bitch."
She fucking resisted and was like getting turned on by it. That weird ass sex shit came out of nowhere. Mother fucker. Where do I meet these people? I'm going to be more careful in the future. Wtf? That was fucked. Just fucked. In the head. That had better be the end of her. Mother fucker. I'm going to kill whoever let her in here.

is she jewish

 

[HiDnGoD]

Shut up. Don't say that. She's gone forever. Come on gone forever...

You can't avoid your sister forever. You Mennonites are all the same.

 

[canadianhitman]

You're approaching this all wrong, Nathan.

When you say a simple 'no' to a crazy bitch, she interprets that as you're playing hard to get...or convinces herself that you respect her too much to hit it so soon or some lame shit like that. Remember, she's crazy...conventional logic will not work here. Simple rejection is simply not going to cut it.

I think your best bet is to scare the bitch away. Next time she asks you to hit it, say..."I can't....I haven't eaten enough corn lately....my shit won't splatter enough to completely cover your chest". When she looks at you in horror, say "Oh, sorry...I didn't know you were more of a solid cheese shit type of gal". If she's still looking at you in horror, but hasn't bolted at that point, say "WTF, this can't possibly work. If you have a problem with me shitting on you during sex, then you're definately not going to like some of the kinkier stuff I'm into". This should scare her off for good.

Of course, if she stands there grinning ear to ear like she's totally into it, then YOU should run. As fast as you can. No matter that it's your house...RUN, man, RUN!!!

Good luck...sounds like you're going to need it.

 

[Nathan]

Okay, first of all I slept with her weeks ago a few times. She's far kinkier than I am as well. but it"s been like over a month now

 

[DieselGunz]

Okay, first of all I slept with her weeks ago a few times. She's far kinkier than I am as well. but it"s been like over a month now

damn i woulda donkey punched her ass out of your crib AFTA u got a little


that is why u NEVER let the girl know your crib till u have established she is NOT crazy

 

[truckdaddy]

bang her rotten cunt hole

 

[Smurfy]

you should have kicked her in the crotch

 

[digimon7068]

Late at night, she knocks on my door,
She's drunk again and looking to score,
I might be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb,
I'm just a sucka with no self-esteem.

 

[jnevin]

This suck. But it's too funny for me to want it to end.

 

[heatherrae]

Holy Shit! She is CRAZY! Get a restraining order or the next thing you know whe will break in and then accuse you of rape or some crazy shit like that. She sounds like she honestly has lost her mind!