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telling a woman she's getting fat
- Thread starter PBR
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lucidblue
New member
I'm not sure how you do it... however, I believe it's better to tell her than to lie and say she's not fat. Has she said "do I look fat" at all? If so, be honest. I'd much rather hear the truth. I hate when guys say "no you look great." If I ask, I'm looking for an honest answer.
Maybe you should just try to get her interested in the gym.
Maybe you should just try to get her interested in the gym.
thatasianchick
New member
Hearing it is the hardest part but someone's gotta do it. My sister has gained alot of weight and my neice is the one who does the dirty work for me...lol...so now my sister works out a lot more then she used to.
PinkPanther
New member
I agree with lucidblue...I would rather hear the truth. I think just hearing someone tell me that would make me hit the gym even harder. I would be pissed that I was getting noticeably fat, so I would want to do something about it.
boscoe wilson
New member
bluepeter said:
I would mention something about how you usually gain a little extra fat in the winter...ask her if she has the same problem. Don't call her fat or you will either create an enemy or an eating disorder!
Ceebs said:If she's good looking to begin with, she probably took enough pride in her appearance to get that way, and chances are she knows.
If you want to take the blunt approach, I suggest wearing a cup.
I couldn't agree more.
It's true she already knows - just look for signs of her trying to change that and be supportive.
J
jenscats5
Guest
Wow!! Sensitive subject!!!!
I remember my husband telling me a year later that I hadn't looked good in my bikini the past summer....man that hurt...BUT
I gues I would rather be told, but it's the way you say something sometimes rather than what you say. Good luck PBR, you'll need it!!!!!
I remember my husband telling me a year later that I hadn't looked good in my bikini the past summer....man that hurt...BUT
I gues I would rather be told, but it's the way you say something sometimes rather than what you say. Good luck PBR, you'll need it!!!!!
PinkPanther
New member
Yeah, I agree with jenscats, it does matter HOW you tell her. If you just blurt out that she's fat, that may not turn out so well...
PBR said:ok...damn it...how do you tell a really good looking/sexy woman, she is getting fat????
DON'T DO IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. You'll regret it I promise.
I like the let's go look at bathing suits idea. Another is to find a piece of tight fitting sexy clothing that she wore when she was leaner and ask if she could wear for you to a club or night out.
Re: Re: telling a woman she's getting fat
That would work too - you don't have to say anything the shrinking clothes will be suggestion enough.
That said, I still can't see how any woman woud not realize that her girth was growing. Hell, I'm aware of how much water I'm holding at any given time.
ulter said:
That would work too - you don't have to say anything the shrinking clothes will be suggestion enough.
That said, I still can't see how any woman woud not realize that her girth was growing. Hell, I'm aware of how much water I'm holding at any given time.
J
jenscats5
Guest
Re: Re: Re: telling a woman she's getting fat
That is true -- she must be aware of it.....here's another tactic --- does she have a cool/sexy/favorite outfit that's SURE to not fit?? If so, say "Let's go out to XXX & why don't you wear that XXX outfit?" guaranteed that it won't fit her, thus snapping her into reality??
Might work.....maybe...
velvett said:
That is true -- she must be aware of it.....here's another tactic --- does she have a cool/sexy/favorite outfit that's SURE to not fit?? If so, say "Let's go out to XXX & why don't you wear that XXX outfit?" guaranteed that it won't fit her, thus snapping her into reality??
Might work.....maybe...
PBR
New member
thanks you guys...been very busy just getting back here...MMMMM???? so I'll wear a "cup" for a date or night out, I'll take her shopping for a bathing siut, on the way to a club or dancing....great!! sounds good...LOL....she lives very far away and I dont see her often....when I met her she was in a size 2-4...very cute...now....????? she swims, and does not like weight training...go figure!!!?? she is very aware of her body-micro manages it-so this is surprising actually....she is under a tremendous amount of stress, all the time-due to work and I know thats where this is coming from....I think I'll take Ulters advice- its always very sound- and in this case...safe...FIT- thats too funny but also a great way to do this... thanks again everyone....and women ask me, why am I only interested in women who work out and "have to have hard-bodies"??? its a life style that has to gel with mine....I for one will not wake-up one day, with 25# of fat, and wonder how the hell did I get this????
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If I ask my significant other the "fat" question I expect an honest answer. But as someone with a caliper at home I know when I'm gaining fat.
If you don't want to go the direct route see if she's like to revamp her diet and training with you. Help set something up and she might be less pissy about it (if she's the type to get upset about that sort of things).
If you don't want to go the direct route see if she's like to revamp her diet and training with you. Help set something up and she might be less pissy about it (if she's the type to get upset about that sort of things).
PBR
New member
Raina- she will have none of that!! (revamping) as far as working out goes...she really does not care for weight training at all, she said it hurts her later on in the day-tightens her all up....Ive tried different approaches- she just likes her swimming....she is getting sloppy fat..??? you know...a little too much everywhere-arms, stomach, thighs, face....its a shame- she is very hot and still is but summer is comming and looking for new bathing siuts will do the dirty work, as FIT suggested......its when you are small and thin to begin with, that any gain out of place really shows up and is very obvious...its hard to watch from such a distance...
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PBR said:
Maybe you need to remind her of this cold hard truth:
As the body ages, it loses muscle mass, and as that goes, so does that wonderful metabolism of youth. How many people do we all know who say "I weigh the same, but my clothes don't fit like they used to"? That lost muscle is gradually replaced with body fat, and a pound of fat takes up more space than a pound of muscle. Fortunately, muscle loss doesn't have to happen. It's all a case of "use it or lose it". Beyond a certain age, great bodies don't just happen, they take work.
If she wants no part in revamping, doesn't seen tontoice the gains or want to make steps to change what is happening...then sorry, there is nothing you can do. IMO. People have to WANT to change....your thoughts, opinions, concerns don't mean squat. If she doesn't WANT to take the necessary steps - then it ain't gonna happen.
There is no good way to tell a woman she's getting fat
PBR I'd say you're trying to navigate a minefield here.
I think men are very hard pressed to understand how consumed most of us (women) are with bodyfat. We are programmed from early childhood by society to want to be skinny and to be terrified of being fat. If you are certain this is something she would want to hear and that it is something she can handle hearing then just say it, otherwise doooooooont do it.
PBR I'd say you're trying to navigate a minefield here.
I think men are very hard pressed to understand how consumed most of us (women) are with bodyfat. We are programmed from early childhood by society to want to be skinny and to be terrified of being fat. If you are certain this is something she would want to hear and that it is something she can handle hearing then just say it, otherwise doooooooont do it.
wend
New member
It sounds like she'd be a good candidate for Pilates and yoga. It they may not change the body's composition as quickly or as dramatically as weight lifting, but they still can do wonders. AND, they can help an aging body not only by building muscle and burning fat, but by increasing flexibility so as to decrease aches and pains.
And Anya's right...I don't think there's really a good way to tell a woman she's getting fat.
And Anya's right...I don't think there's really a good way to tell a woman she's getting fat.
CrystalChick
New member
What's that commercial for Xenadrin the guy pops out and says....."NOW IM BACK TO MY FIGHTING WEIGHT" LOL
I would never tell a girl she is gaining weight Im pretty confident her clothes say it all....
CC
I would never tell a girl she is gaining weight Im pretty confident her clothes say it all....
CC
PBR
New member
you guys have spoken very true words...this is territory that I do not want to venture into...the opinions expressed here come from a wide range of experiences and knowledge...thanks -your advice will be taken....PS. she does pilates every day, and usually swims 5 days a week...Still there is IMO, little that compares to advanced weight training or (resistance) training to get the physique that I find attractive...and obviously the diet plays such a major role....the woman is very attractive (beautiful) whether or not she wishes to stay that way is up to her....
DJ_UFO
Banned
just tell her...it is the true...if she screams, cry or whatever just walk away and close the door...why always men have to be "planning" and wasting time on how to tell things to women??...If she is getting fat, that means SHE IS GETTING FAT. That's a fact. If she doesn't like it, that's her problem.
shit. enough women abuse in this world.
shit. enough women abuse in this world.
But some people care about other's feelings.
I can't imagine walking up to anyone - male or female - and just saying "you're getting fat". Who am I to judge them? If I was concerned, I would have to "beat around the bush" too. Not just for females either, I would do the same for a male.
I can't imagine walking up to anyone - male or female - and just saying "you're getting fat". Who am I to judge them? If I was concerned, I would have to "beat around the bush" too. Not just for females either, I would do the same for a male.
wend
New member
"I hate fat women." That's frickin' lovely. I try not to hate anyone, but if I had to choose, it'd be stupid people who have no idea they're stupid.
Daisy, I'm with you. When Maj some time ago was pretty fat, I never said so...I hardly ever even thought so. When you actually love someone in a committed relationship, fluctuations in their physique become much less important. My major concern has always been his health and the health of our relationship. He came to the conclusion on his own that he wanted/needed to get fit, and now he's in incredible shape.
Daisy, I'm with you. When Maj some time ago was pretty fat, I never said so...I hardly ever even thought so. When you actually love someone in a committed relationship, fluctuations in their physique become much less important. My major concern has always been his health and the health of our relationship. He came to the conclusion on his own that he wanted/needed to get fit, and now he's in incredible shape.
If she is as good looking as you say and has always kept herself up then she knows that she has gained some. Most of the time women are hiding or trying to cover some form of depression or fear. Just hope that she faces whatever it is that has caused her to hide behind food.Good luck to you! You could always encourage her to workout. {A NEW WORKOUT OUTFIT}.
PBR
New member
cutie- you hit it right on the head...depression/stress...I dont see her very often...she lives very far from me...she has noticed lately, that her size 4 clothing is not fitting/ looking good....she just started taking "wellbutrin" and is a "new" person....her appetite is way down and she has no cravings for junk and re-newed energy...thought it might be thyroid problem, but depression has so many "faces"...I will sit back and watch....
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