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tell us about your greatest conquest!

Yarg!

Platinum Membership gift from THE BOMB SQUAD!
when it comes to members of the opposite sex that is. hottie down the road? you managed to pull it off and became the envy of your friends? post up! hot black guy in the gym.. you approached and now youre getting a taste of the hot chocolate 24/7? post up!

anyways mine was this. i rate myself a 6.5/10, and during social class in gr 9 (3 yrs ago), on the first day of school i managed to snag a seat beside a 9/10. i was sooo stupid i didnt even know when to feel embarrased, or when to hold my tongue, or even what fear of rejection was. so i was like "hey, how are you. Im yarg!" shes kinda stuck up, so alot of guys were intimidated by her looks, and attitude, shes like "oh thats nice, im so and so". then uncomfortable silence. but my teenage hormones were raging, so i went " you dont talk much do you?" and shes like "i talk when im with my friends". im like "well isnt she your friend?" and i pointed at some girl she was talking to before. shes like "no i just met her." so then im like "oh i see, thats cool. im new to the school, and since youre the only one siting beside me, and i hate uncomfortably silenecs, lets be friends." she smiled and we talked alot from that moment on. we would say hi to each other in the hallways. her friends were like all "like what are you doing with that fat asian kid (cuz i was kinda plump back then, and wore a sweater everyday to school). shes like "oh hes cool, tehehe". i asked her out a week later, and i dated her for a month before she got kicked out of school for getting in a fight. she moved away somewhere, and that pretty much ended it. i was sooo out of everything that i didnt even have msn/aim/ym or anything, and i just lost contact with her. it wouldnt have prolly worked out anways since it was such a stereotypical coming of age teen romance. i saw her again a few months ago and she was get this.... married, and has a kid. her looks were totally fucked up too. a shame really. what a way to throw your life away. however, i will always remember her as the hottest girl i ever dated, and how much balls i had back then. ironically i am friends with her friends now, and we were reminising a few days ago about the good old days ,and i was like "did she ever talk about me?" and her friends were like "yeah she liked you soo much. it was funny because everyone thought you were waay out of your league when they saw you guys in the hallways. we thought she could do better- because you were so plump back then. everyone tried to tell her to ditch you, but she really liekd you." damn i was a stud.
 
i beat off once to a mental picture of this girl who forgot to cross her legs

also in the bathroom stall theres a bunch of writing on it, and someone wrote "FUCK THE WORLD" on the wall, and another person drew a picture of the world with a dick going on top of it, and i drew an even bigger dick next to it and labeled the big dick "me" and the small dick "you"
 
wouldn't you like to drown in her wicked ways
to get lost in her eyes, in her thighs for days
wouldn't you like to feel her inflicted pain
to be steered like a puppet, to be used in vain
wouldn't you like to kiss her lips
and go lower, and lower 'til you reach her hips?
and wouldn't you like to be mesmorized
to be entranced by her wicked eyes
and somehow you knew that once you looked
into her smile you would be hooked
and somehow you knew once you caressed
her naked body you'd be obssesed
and somehow you knew that once you glanced
into her eyes you'd be entranced
you knew yet somehow it didn't matter
that after the venture your soul would splatter
you knew yet somehow didn't care
that her care free manners would strip you bare
you knew yet you went anyways
and got lost in her eyes, in her thighs for days
 
yea mine was the fact that i pulled off a threesome with my ol lady and her best friend, then all my friends start bugging the hell out of thier ol ladies do the same. im known around these parts for that.
 
SoreArms said:
wouldn't you like to drown in her wicked ways
to get lost in her eyes, in her thighs for days
wouldn't you like to feel her inflicted pain
to be steered like a puppet, to be used in vain
wouldn't you like to kiss her lips
and go lower, and lower 'til you reach her hips?
and wouldn't you like to be mesmorized
to be entranced by her wicked eyes
and somehow you knew that once you looked
into her smile you would be hooked
and somehow you knew once you caressed
her naked body you'd be obssesed
and somehow you knew that once you glanced
into her eyes you'd be entranced
you knew yet somehow it didn't matter
that after the venture your soul would splatter
you knew yet somehow didn't care
that her care free manners would strip you bare
you knew yet you went anyways
and got lost in her eyes, in her thighs for days
quit posting songs, thats my niche


also, awsome spongebob, post details, in the form of a song
 
SublimeZM said:
quit posting songs, thats my niche


also, awsome spongebob, post details, in the form of a song
that is the story of my greatest conquest, I wrote it for her over 6 years a go and still remember it word for word. She has the original.
 
spongebob said:
yea mine was the fact that i pulled off a threesome with my ol lady and her best friend, then all my friends start bugging the hell out of thier ol ladies do the same. im known around these parts for that.

What a coincidence....Mine was pulling a threesome with spongebob's ol lady and her best friend.
 
awittyusername said:
What a coincidence....Mine was pulling a threesome with spongebob's ol lady and her best friend.


well thats a pretty sad conquest, if that was your best. :verygood:
 
Yarg! said:
well thats a pretty sad conquest, if that was your best. :verygood:

lol

Seriously, great job picking up that chick. Now, keep it up!!! You have an advantage over the rest now. You learned to put that stuff together as just a chubby kid. Now, that you are in better shape and wiser...Its like shooting fish in a barrel.
 
it would have to have been in high school, when the Travolta in me was still dormant, and my game consisted of looking like a pretty, yet pathetic, nerd

the hottest nerdette in the school decided that since my study hours matched hers, we should get together ;)

it lasted a few months, and then her arse decided that it would be happier ifit were the size of a US battleship and *explode* in size, and so it ended. and by 'explode', you need to think...Nagasaki

it was very sad :(
 
i had a 3some once with two fatties that weighed in at around 600lbs combined
i still pat myself on the back whenever i think about that night
 
Nailed two very nice pieces of ass about a month back, their nick names were 'Ooh' and 'Ahh', high class working girls. I didn't even have to pay them which I considered as some sort of a conquest as these girls are usually all about business....ooh, ahh, ooh, aah all night long.
 
hamstershaver said:
i had a 3some once with two fatties that weighed in at around 600lbs combined
i still pat myself on the back whenever i think about that night


so, you , klu and who else?
 
Raina said:
Plenty of people have treated me like I was not even worth looking at.


are you a case of geek to chic? were you like a nerd in high school then you took off the glasses and became hot?
 
I once had sex in a packed dormatory with a girl from hong Kong while I was backpacking across Europe! I remember feeling as cheeky as hell the following morning. Eveeryone else felt pissed off with me! She particularly enjoyed herself and I'll forever remember her screaming in Chinese while we were in the thick of the action and everyone else in the room was pretending they were asleep!
 
hamstershaver said:
i had a 3some once with two fatties that weighed in at around 600lbs combined
i still pat myself on the back whenever i think about that night

I had a threesome with ONE fatty on a business trip in the late 90's. I considered it a threesome because she was at least 2 bills and some change.

Fun girl she was.
 
Haven't had one yet. I will provide details when it happens (Yes, I will get you. And it will be wonderful :qt: ).

j/k
 
Yarg! said:
are you a case of geek to chic? were you like a nerd in high school then you took off the glasses and became hot?

Nope. But I wasn't too interested in dating in HS. I was too busy getting good grades, being involved in sports, and hanging out with my friends. ;)
 
jack_schitt said:
I had a threesome with ONE fatty on a business trip in the late 90's. I considered it a threesome because she was at least 2 bills and some change.

Fun girl she was.
loloolol!!@#@!#@!
 
my wife's a hottie. . .i bent her over the sink this morning while she was trying to brush her teeth. . .not my greatest work ever. . .but definitely my best so far today. . .
 
PICK3 said:
I nailed Angelie Jolie ... then walked around with a vile of her blood hanging around my neck.


vial

for fucks sake,

and I banged Halle Berry <--- yes, that is the correct spelling, pick




b0und (spelling nazi (who banged Halle Berry (in my dreams)))
 
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