Speaking of relationships...

[Deleted member 33117]

I agree with you that the chemistry that is found physically between two people can't be found without actual physical interaction, and that is a huge blow. I definitely don't believe this is a scenario that plays out all of the time. However, i do truly feel that the emotional and intellectual bond that two people can develop and share can be VERY powerful.

True. Honestly I feel in love with a girl I met online, but did so the first night we had sex (one week after the first time we meet offline), however everything that she pretended to be was a lie. She used me, lied to me and then tossed me asside when she was done. So, I have to question if I was truely in love with her, in love with someone who did not exist (who she pretended to be) or just in love with the idea of being in love.

 

[coverguy]

True. Honestly I feel in love with a girl I met online, but did so the first night we had sex (one week after the first time we meet offline), however everything that she pretended to be was a lie. She used me, lied to me and then tossed me asside when she was done. So, I have to question if I was truely in love with her, in love with someone who did not exist (who she pretended to be) or just in love with the idea of being in love.

That is a great point, and i'm really impressed by the depth that creates in the question. Love is interesting because how often do we fall in love with something that isn't real? Let me expand on that. Just because the person is there with us physically, is it real? Are they truly being themselves, or are they the person they need to be to get a) laid, b) married or c) referred (i.e. bolster their reputation/way they're perceived in public.) Too often in today's day and age (and maybe in the past, but at my age i wouldn't truly know) people either pretend to be onething or just change. That leaves you in love with something that isn't real. Or can a person be themselves, but you just see them differently for some reason. You then fall in love with them, but eventually begin to see the truth. They were real, but your perception of them was not. Many people blindly overlook key flaws because of love. I'm sure you get the idea; this could be expanded ad nauseum, but i don't think it's neccessary.

When is love real? How do you know? What makes it real? etc... These questions are so subjective, and so difficult to answer that we often try not to and fall helplessly. This then opens us up to the heartache and despair we can encounter later on. Those that do look at these questions deeply, don't normally find an answer and are labeled as afraid to commit, players, etc...

 

[Deleted member 33117]

When is love real? How do you know? What makes it real? etc... These questions are so subjective, and so difficult to answer that we often try not to and fall helplessly. This then opens us up to the heartache and despair we can encounter later on. Those that do look at these questions deeply, don't normally find an answer and are labeled as afraid to commit, players, etc...

I have often asked these same questions, and understand exactally what you speak of.

 

[coverguy]

so,

Becoming's Avatar ... what are your thoughts on this?

 

[Carmen]

so,

Becoming's Avatar ... what are your thoughts on this?

i think... love is subjective. its what you want and need it to be. for me, when i love someone, it means i always will. long after the actual relationship is over- if i really loved someone, that doesn't change for me.
I think its possible to love someone without physically seeing them. it may be that the reality was that you loved the IDEA of them but thats all irrelevant once you're in love anyway, because the idea of them will always be there anyway.
I'm sure that when people do fall in love without seeing eachother first, that there is a good chance that wouldn't have happened had they met earlier on and gotten to know eachothers real faults, but since you can't speculate on what would have been, then they should just enjoy the love they feel.

Man did i just ramble on. why didn't anyone stop me???

 

[coverguy]

i think... love is subjective. its what you want and need it to be. for me, when i love someone, it means i always will. long after the actual relationship is over- if i really loved someone, that doesn't change for me.
I think its possible to love someone without physically seeing them. it may be that the reality was that you loved the IDEA of them but thats all irrelevant once you're in love anyway, because the idea of them will always be there anyway.
I'm sure that when people do fall in love without seeing eachother first, that there is a good chance that wouldn't have happened had they met earlier on and gotten to know eachothers real faults, but since you can't speculate on what would have been, then they should just enjoy the love they feel.

Man did i just ramble on. why didn't anyone stop me???

i agree whole heartedly. and oh yeah,


i like it when you ramble!

 

[milo hobgoblin]

Ive only been in love twice in my life.

There are many people Ive thought Ive loved.. but I didnt even fall in true love for the first time when I was 31 years old.. after two marriages and more relationships than I can remember.

The second time I fell in love wasnt until after I turned 35.. and I just turned 35 a month ago LOL.

I cant tell you WHAT it is, but I can tell you how it feels. I wont though.. would take too many words and way too much emotion. But anyone who has ever been in true love knows it and doesnt need to be told.

Maybe some things in life jsut arent meant to be described.. they are too intangible, too personal to each person. Describing true love.. or attempting to hurts. Even as I write this I can feel emotion welling up thinking about it.

Sure as hell changes your perspective on life.

 

[Carmen]

The second time I fell in love wasnt until after I turned 35.. and I just turned 35 a month ago LOL.

i'm happy for you milo. its a good feeling.