So me n the wife split...

[johnnyboy3689282]

Dont really post in any other spots on here... Has given more motovation to hit it hard n the gym. Has also helped me see my priorities... Shit sucks... Not on cycle n feel really upset, couldnt imagine the opposite.. But not letting it effect my training... Guess im just kinda posting for support from the bros when life throws u the unexpected... Do have a much nastier cycle planned than before now...
Thnx guys
Johnny

Sent from my LG-E739 using EliteFitness

 

[Eddie-jnr]

Always keep ur head up bro!!!
This is just the way life is if only it could be like the movies ay?

FTS!!!

 

[underattack]

Dont really post in any other spots on here... Has given more motovation to hit it hard n the gym. Has also helped me see my priorities... Shit sucks... Not on cycle n feel really upset, couldnt imagine the opposite.. But not letting it effect my training... Guess im just kinda posting for support from the bros when life throws u the unexpected... Do have a much nastier cycle planned than before now...
Thnx guys
Johnny

Sent from my LG-E739 using EliteFitness

Yhea thats life :/ but i belive it happens for a reason give it some time and u will see whats planned for you!
GL bro! And kill it in the gym. Atleast that helps on my frustration

 

[Typo]

One word for you bro, it starts with pu and ends in ssy!

 

[raze]

Sorry to hear that bro, might be rough for a while but it may just end up to be the best thing that happened to you.

 

[dylangemelli]

when things like this happen, its hard to understand that it happens for a reason at the time, but trust me, God has a plan for you and you will eventually see that somehow, someway that this was right for you and it was supposed to happen... use this as extra motivation... i had the same thing happen to me and when I lift, still, I think about her and when we would fight and it just motivates me to lift harder and harder... use it to your advantage bro...

 

[deejleos]

Life always gives us the these road blocks and we feel like there's no way around it. It's just another way to test ur real strength. Not muscle strength, but will power! Just keep the same determination u have in the gym and apply it towards life's f-ed up situations. U will be alright, maybe not today but soon.


Sent from my iPhone punk!
Train like a freak

 

[RADAR]

when things like this happen, its hard to understand that it happens for a reason at the time, but trust me, God has a plan for you and you will eventually see that somehow, someway that this was right for you and it was supposed to happen... use this as extra motivation... i had the same thing happen to me and when I lift, still, I think about her and when we would fight and it just motivates me to lift harder and harder... use it to your advantage bro...

I agree with this, no reason to feel sorry ,theres alot of folks worse off than you, heck! i shouldn't even be standing here after survivivg a firey truck crash, so believe me when i say it will get better, It will, time heals all wounds!

 

[gripa]

Happened me years ago and i can honestly say in the long run it was the best thing happened to me, i was devastated at the time and for many months after the break up. But times a great healer and I know you'l get over her and meet someone else that deserves you, if your lucky like me she'l be twice as hot as your wife I saw my ex wife the other day for the first time in months and she now looks like a fat bag lady which made me smile lol. karma sucks

 

[SpyWizard]

divorce is just like death, you will experience the different stages of morning that people experience when a family member passes away..

take your time, redefine yourself and who you are and what you want, make a small short term plan and work the plan..

good luck to you

Stages of Grief...

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

Read more: What are the 7 stages of grief? | Answerbag http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/2050113#ixzz1s0o82sea

 

[Martinwest]

Totally agree with gripa.
Keep working out,don't let yourself go.
Use you frustration in the gym..
Somewhere down the line get you'll get a girl twice as hot and when you see your ex,you'll wonder why you were upset in the 1st place.
Although in short term you'll be hurting....
All the best.

 

[Arabian]

Im sorry about your impending divorce however I went through one from 04 to 07 back and forth to court and I can tell you that you should get it over quickly, and without much intervention between lawyers because they will muddy the water back and forth due to their own financial agendas and it lengthens the process and hurts everyone during it. Keep the children in mind and move forward. You will recover from this quicker than you expect and you will be much happier once you settle into your new life. If I were you , I would focus on myself and move on . Remember:: Yesterday is HISTORY tomorrows a MYSTERY so live your life for TODAY.. Best of luck to you and I am free anytime if you need to pm me or need to talk...

 

[tryionlannister]

A couple of days after the Christmas of 2010, wy wifw comes home and tells me she doesn't love me anymore. We had just found out we were pregnant with our second child in november and to say that she was devasted about being pregnat again was an understatement. I was in shock, I had no idea this was coming. MY wife told me she wanted me to move out for awhile to see if she could fall back in love with me, so I moved in with my parents for a few weeks. We decided to work on the mariiage so I moved back in though my wife did not want to see a marriage counselor, but wnated both of us to see individual counselors. fast forward to the end of this past summer and my says that she need us to hae real seperation to "fall back in love with me"

I moved out in Oct, and even though I had moved out my wife, kids, and I were still togther most weekends and I was still cuddling with her on the couch. I started to become suspicious so I hacked into her facebook and email. thats when I discovered that she had been havng an affair with the father of two of her former students.

Anyhow, thats the reason I started to join a gym and start AAS . Many advised me not to, but to be honest, I have loved everything about it. I still get depressed about my wife and that I will only see my kids for 50% of the time now, but I rercentlt started dating a beautiful girl who I like. and get this the wife sends me a text asking me if we can have coffee or dinner this week. Youve got to be kiding me. Sadly if she would have asked a monthe ago I probably would have listened.

I'm only tellling you this because I want you to know that there is light, but I cried daily like a baby for months. she was the first thing I thouight about whn I woke and and when I went to bed.

Also, one last thing, if this was her decision more than your, I would hack into her FB and email accounts. JMO

 

[stevesmi]

well i have some thoughts as a guy who has never been married or had kids (had a couple close calls but thankfully none) for you young guys.. i've had around 20 serious gf's in my life. and i've had relationships that were 4 years and 2 1/2 years.. and also many 3-4 month relationships. lived with girls twice..

1. don't get married young. the girl you think you love in 5 years or 10 years you will find out you have less and less in common with.. for example bodybuilding.. if your wife doesn't support that lifestyle and back you.. take pics of you, help put tanning oil on you, go to the gym and push you and support you then you are gonna have problems.. and that is just one example. physical attraction, my gf when i was 22 i look back and am like UGH she is ugly .. had i married her i would be in a sexless marriage today. so people change.. dont be thinking the girl you love at 22 is the girl you will love at 32.

2. focus on your education and career in your 20's and 30's. no reason to get married before 35-40. keep yourself in good shape and be able to take a girl anywhere in the world on a trip and you will get plenty of chicks at 40 who are in their late 20's and 30's. if you find a keeper then marry her, by then she will be mature and so will you.

3. chicks will go crazy on you. keep this in mind. if you are married with kids especially its not as easy to tell a girl to get lost, you are gonna be stuck with a bossy chick, and i've seen guys get embarassed in public when their spouse bosses them around and is a bitch to them.. and they just take it cause they have to. both people should respect each other and not act like that. if a girl shows signs of this then don't marry them cause she will only get worse.

4. if the sex sucks now then it will get worse when you are married. there has to be strong physical attraction on both sides. if you settle for an average chick she will only get uglier as you get to know her. and if the girl is with you for your money or out of desperation.. and she finds you a bore and doesn't like doing anything with you fun, then after a while she will just find divorcing you an easy way out (docs and lawyers fall prey to this).. know any docs in their 40's who aren't divorced with 2 kids? me neither. they all are. the wife collects child support and alimony while the doc bitches cause he just wanted some pussy after being a nerd throughout high school and college. and that pussy cost him 500K

now some conservative guys will read this and say "steve is saying just fuck around till you are 40" no i'm NOT saying this .. i love having exclusive relationships and taking girls on trips and having fun.. but you should always be able to pull the plug and move on if things don't work, and not be stuck. i'm not saying have 4 chicks and party and fuck around, thats how you get kids at 25 and kids are expensive and time consuming. so either get fixed or wear protection and don't be knocking up girls. also if a girl tells you she is on the pill that doesn't mean shit, you should always use your own contraception.. she could of missed her pill or she could be lying to you. there are too many people who get married to the wrong person its not even funny, or get married cause they had a kid, or get married cause society tells you to get married.. this is why most marriages end in divorce

 

[A Soft Koala]

I'm sorry to hear this brother. It may look like its the end of the world, but just remember that things will get better with time.

 

[stevesmi]

A couple of days after the Christmas of 2010, wy wifw comes home and tells me she doesn't love me anymore. We had just found out we were pregnant with our second child in november and to say that she was devasted about being pregnat again was an understatement. I was in shock, I had no idea this was coming. MY wife told me she wanted me to move out for awhile to see if she could fall back in love with me, so I moved in with my parents for a few weeks. We decided to work on the mariiage so I moved back in though my wife did not want to see a marriage counselor, but wnated both of us to see individual counselors. fast forward to the end of this past summer and my says that she need us to hae real seperation to "fall back in love with me"

I moved out in Oct, and even though I had moved out my wife, kids, and I were still togther most weekends and I was still cuddling with her on the couch. I started to become suspicious so I hacked into her facebook and email. thats when I discovered that she had been havng an affair with the father of two of her former students.

Anyhow, thats the reason I started to join a gym and start AAS . Many advised me not to, but to be honest, I have loved everything about it. I still get depressed about my wife and that I will only see my kids for 50% of the time now, but I rercentlt started dating a beautiful girl who I like. and get this the wife sends me a text asking me if we can have coffee or dinner this week. Youve got to be kiding me. Sadly if she would have asked a monthe ago I probably would have listened.

I'm only tellling you this because I want you to know that there is light, but I cried daily like a baby for months. she was the first thing I thouight about whn I woke and and when I went to bed.

Also, one last thing, if this was her decision more than your, I would hack into her FB and email accounts. JMO

yeah dude i had a girl tell me she wanted 2 weeks to think about if she wanted to continue or relationship.. i ended things right then. if a girl says this it really means "i want to fuck around for 2 weeks and then come back to you"

and yes its okay to cry about it and be depressed, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. this is the risk we take when we love someone, your only other option is being the 40 year old virgin and just staying away from women this way you don't get hurt. this is actually a good idea if you really want to focus on your career for a while. just go adopt a dog from the shelter to keep you company, atleast the dog won't run off and cheat on you or backstab you.

 

[kc17]

Dont really post in any other spots on here... Has given more motovation to hit it hard n the gym. Has also helped me see my priorities... Shit sucks... Not on cycle n feel really upset, couldnt imagine the opposite.. But not letting it effect my training... Guess im just kinda posting for support from the bros when life throws u the unexpected... Do have a much nastier cycle planned than before now...
Thnx guys
Johnny

Sent from my LG-E739 using EliteFitness

Johnny I feel you buddy. I'm currently going through a divorce/ child custody my self, but it was my choice, keep ur head up this is part of life. Good luck bro

 

[tryionlannister]

well i have some thoughts as a guy who has never been married or had kids (had a couple close calls but thankfully none) for you young guys.. i've had around 20 serious gf's in my life. and i've had relationships that were 4 years and 2 1/2 years.. and also many 3-4 month relationships. lived with girls twice..

1. don't get married young. the girl you think you love in 5 years or 10 years you will find out you have less and less in common with.. for example bodybuilding.. if your wife doesn't support that lifestyle and back you.. take pics of you, help put tanning oil on you, go to the gym and push you and support you then you are gonna have problems.. and that is just one example. physical attraction, my gf when i was 22 i look back and am like UGH she is ugly .. had i married her i would be in a sexless marriage today. so people change.. dont be thinking the girl you love at 22 is the girl you will love at 32.

2. focus on your education and career in your 20's and 30's. no reason to get married before 35-40. keep yourself in good shape and be able to take a girl anywhere in the world on a trip and you will get plenty of chicks at 40 who are in their late 20's and 30's. if you find a keeper then marry her, by then she will be mature and so will you.

3. chicks will go crazy on you. keep this in mind. if you are married with kids especially its not as easy to tell a girl to get lost, you are gonna be stuck with a bossy chick, and i've seen guys get embarassed in public when their spouse bosses them around and is a bitch to them.. and they just take it cause they have to. both people should respect each other and not act like that. if a girl shows signs of this then don't marry them cause she will only get worse.

4. if the sex sucks now then it will get worse when you are married. there has to be strong physical attraction on both sides. if you settle for an average chick she will only get uglier as you get to know her. and if the girl is with you for your money or out of desperation.. and she finds you a bore and doesn't like doing anything with you fun, then after a while she will just find divorcing you an easy way out (docs and lawyers fall prey to this).. know any docs in their 40's who aren't divorced with 2 kids? me neither. they all are. the wife collects child support and alimony while the doc bitches cause he just wanted some pussy after being a nerd throughout high school and college. and that pussy cost him 500K

now some conservative guys will read this and say "steve is saying just fuck around till you are 40" no i'm NOT saying this .. i love having exclusive relationships and taking girls on trips and having fun.. but you should always be able to pull the plug and move on if things don't work, and not be stuck. i'm not saying have 4 chicks and party and fuck around, thats how you get kids at 25 and kids are expensive and time consuming. so either get fixed or wear protection and don't be knocking up girls. also if a girl tells you she is on the pill that doesn't mean shit, you should always use your own contraception.. she could of missed her pill or she could be lying to you. there are too many people who get married to the wrong person its not even funny, or get married cause they had a kid, or get married cause society tells you to get married.. this is why most marriages end in divorce

This is GREAT advice.

my wife is/was smoking hot. And I let her essentially dominate me. I hate to admit, buit this will never happen again. it wasn't alsways this way. My wife was always thin, but two years b4 I married her she got fat. I still loved her so I married her. After our first kid was born my wife lost a ton of weight going from 240 back dwon the weight where I meet her 120. Men were showing her attention again right and left. oh well of the better topics.
I couldn't do anything right for the past three years.

 

[tryionlannister]

yeah dude i had a girl tell me she wanted 2 weeks to think about if she wanted to continue or relationship.. i ended things right then. if a girl says this it really means "i want to fuck around for 2 weeks and then come back to you"

and yes its okay to cry about it and be depressed, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. this is the risk we take when we love someone, your only other option is being the 40 year old virgin and just staying away from women this way you don't get hurt. this is actually a good idea if you really want to focus on your career for a while. just go adopt a dog from the shelter to keep you company, atleast the dog won't run off and cheat on you or backstab you.

Thanks Steve, You always give good advice.

 

[Laxfiend]

well i have some thoughts as a guy who has never been married or had kids (had a couple close calls but thankfully none) for you young guys.. i've had around 20 serious gf's in my life. and i've had relationships that were 4 years and 2 1/2 years.. and also many 3-4 month relationships. lived with girls twice..

1. don't get married young. the girl you think you love in 5 years or 10 years you will find out you have less and less in common with.. for example bodybuilding.. if your wife doesn't support that lifestyle and back you.. take pics of you, help put tanning oil on you, go to the gym and push you and support you then you are gonna have problems.. and that is just one example. physical attraction, my gf when i was 22 i look back and am like UGH she is ugly .. had i married her i would be in a sexless marriage today. so people change.. dont be thinking the girl you love at 22 is the girl you will love at 32.

2. focus on your education and career in your 20's and 30's. no reason to get married before 35-40. keep yourself in good shape and be able to take a girl anywhere in the world on a trip and you will get plenty of chicks at 40 who are in their late 20's and 30's. if you find a keeper then marry her, by then she will be mature and so will you.

3. chicks will go crazy on you. keep this in mind. if you are married with kids especially its not as easy to tell a girl to get lost, you are gonna be stuck with a bossy chick, and i've seen guys get embarassed in public when their spouse bosses them around and is a bitch to them.. and they just take it cause they have to. both people should respect each other and not act like that. if a girl shows signs of this then don't marry them cause she will only get worse.

4. if the sex sucks now then it will get worse when you are married. there has to be strong physical attraction on both sides. if you settle for an average chick she will only get uglier as you get to know her. and if the girl is with you for your money or out of desperation.. and she finds you a bore and doesn't like doing anything with you fun, then after a while she will just find divorcing you an easy way out (docs and lawyers fall prey to this).. know any docs in their 40's who aren't divorced with 2 kids? me neither. they all are. the wife collects child support and alimony while the doc bitches cause he just wanted some pussy after being a nerd throughout high school and college. and that pussy cost him 500K

now some conservative guys will read this and say "steve is saying just fuck around till you are 40" no i'm NOT saying this .. i love having exclusive relationships and taking girls on trips and having fun.. but you should always be able to pull the plug and move on if things don't work, and not be stuck. i'm not saying have 4 chicks and party and fuck around, thats how you get kids at 25 and kids are expensive and time consuming. so either get fixed or wear protection and don't be knocking up girls. also if a girl tells you she is on the pill that doesn't mean shit, you should always use your own contraception.. she could of missed her pill or she could be lying to you. there are too many people who get married to the wrong person its not even funny, or get married cause they had a kid, or get married cause society tells you to get married.. this is why most marriages end in divorce

EXCELLENT ADVICE

Sent from my VM670 using EliteFitness

 

[CSB]

I had similar recently , my fiancée ended it basically , I was devastated , for only the second time of my life I threw away everything for a number of weeks , alcohol everyday , just stopped my cycle , stopped hrt , stopped training and basically fucked up everything trying to bury the pain in the black hole found at the bottom of a bottle !

Biggest mistake I could have made , my health was trashed , sick , more depressed than ever , it took everything I had to dig myself out of that hole and get back to gym , clean myself up and get back on a decent bulker !

Keep your attitude dude , do not do what I did , you will only kick your own arse when you finally see the light hopefully still alive and kicking

All I can say is this happens to everyone , no one is immune ! So keep your chin up , and do not let it shatter your confidence !

 

[burnthiscorpse]

I am not religious nor do i believe in any of that sort....

But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason!
Stay true to yourself and keep your head up brother. Having something like Iron to go take your frustrations out on instead of a bottle..ect...is a very good thing.

 

[stingray23]

Keep your head up. I just went through a divorce(HATE that word!). Its been 10 months. Definitely the most difficult time of my life. Anyone who says otherwise, has no heart. Its been 10 months and its getting better. I still think about her everyday, but I gotta take care of myself. I started working out again last July and I never felt better. I'm getting my life back to normal and using everything as motivation.

 

[stevesmi]

^^^ well for what its worth I think about 3 of my exes still. one of which is a member on this site think its totally normal. however you cannot turn back the clock and change things. and I was never married, they were girlfriends AND it was my decision on all 3 to break things off. so i cannot imagine walking down the aisle and then going through a divorce and having her break a vow to you. that has gotta hurt way worse than losing a gf.

 

[bluetoolpaul]

Stevesmi, ur advice is spot on. Ur post has to be one of the most intelligent things I've ever read regarding relationships.

And bro, keep ur headup, I have never met a guy 5 yrs after his divorce that said, 'wow, I wish we were still together'.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using EliteFitness

 

[eddymerckx]

I was divorced in 2001 remarried in late 2005---best thing I ever did and happier than ever. My advice is buy a couple of books by Fisher--sorta makes senses of the emotions/stages and givers light at the end of the tunnel when all is darkest.

Oh, and my 2nd wife is 11 years younger than me--hehehehe

 

[Arabian]

I hope everyones encouragement has given you peace and a new light at the end of the tunnel my friend. If I can ever be of any assistance to you , by all means pm me.

 

[Potent]

A couple of days after the Christmas of 2010, wy wifw comes home and tells me she doesn't love me anymore. We had just found out we were pregnant with our second child in november and to say that she was devasted about being pregnat again was an understatement. I was in shock, I had no idea this was coming. MY wife told me she wanted me to move out for awhile to see if she could fall back in love with me, so I moved in with my parents for a few weeks. We decided to work on the mariiage so I moved back in though my wife did not want to see a marriage counselor, but wnated both of us to see individual counselors. fast forward to the end of this past summer and my says that she need us to hae real seperation to "fall back in love with me"

I moved out in Oct, and even though I had moved out my wife, kids, and I were still togther most weekends and I was still cuddling with her on the couch. I started to become suspicious so I hacked into her facebook and email. thats when I discovered that she had been havng an affair with the father of two of her former students.

Anyhow, thats the reason I started to join a gym and start AAS . Many advised me not to, but to be honest, I have loved everything about it. I still get depressed about my wife and that I will only see my kids for 50% of the time now, but I rercentlt started dating a beautiful girl who I like. and get this the wife sends me a text asking me if we can have coffee or dinner this week. Youve got to be kiding me. Sadly if she would have asked a monthe ago I probably would have listened.

I'm only tellling you this because I want you to know that there is light, but I cried daily like a baby for months. she was the first thing I thouight about whn I woke and and when I went to bed.

Also, one last thing, if this was her decision more than your, I would hack into her FB and email accounts. JMO

Funny how that happens as soon as she catches wind that you moved on and started to really turn your shit around, this is when she tries to work her way back in to your life. I say too late, she missed her chance and Deserve way better at this point. You def made the wiser choice.

I was a slob until a gf of 5 years abruptly ended our relationship. Almost positive she was cheating anyhow.

Within 6 months I got in the best shape of my life. My ex
Wantedback into my life so bad once she found out what i was doing, I drug her around on a leash for about 3 months until I found a diff girl. my ex could not Compare physically or mentally to this girl. I am rarely a person of revenge, but it did feel great to leave her the way she left me.

Anyway, despite the revenge, which was never part of my plan. The whole experience turned me into a better person, and gave me an even better, loyal partner who I would have never met

Good Post
Steve!

 

[MattJS]

That shit sucks ass. Four years ago I got back together with Sarah, the mother of my son, (we'd split up four years before) things started casually and gradually got pretty serious, we told our families we were going to give things another go, I was over the moon, had my family back... eventually I moved in with her and from there things went sharply downhill. She decided to end the relationship eight days later, had to pack my things move back in with my parents.

At the time I was working full time managing a small business. Needless to say I was distraught, life was a mess and nothing seemed to make it any better. I was overweight, out of shape, very down and consuming a lot of drink and drugs. Five months later a dispute between landlord and the business owner resulted in our business closing and I was made redundant.

This was a difficult time in my life, but I chose to make the best of it, I took a job working part time for my friend, having worked 50-70 hours a week for seven years suddenly I was working 25 hours... I'd threatened to get back to the gym for so many years and suddenly I had the time to do it properly. Fast forward to today...... I'm saving for an engagement ring for Amanda, who I met when I took on my part time job (she's ten years younger than Sarah and about seventy pounds lighter) , I've been killing it nonstop in the gym and have just finished my first cycle of aas which has gone very well, Ive been to college and qualified as a fitness instructor and also as a personal trainer....I've stopped drinking and everything else.... I look back on what seemed like a great loss at the time and think thank f#ck that happened....

I suppose the lesson I've learned is that sometimes the things you want just aren't right for you and you have to try lifestyle choices that are wrong for you before you find what works. I've never been married so can't imagine the stress that comes with seperation or facing the d word. You'll get through it bro, might be hard to see now but things will improve. Make the best of your freedom, now you can concentrate on what you want from life.

 

[stevesmi]

Stevesmi, ur advice is spot on. Ur post has to be one of the most intelligent things I've ever read regarding relationships.

i think half the board smacked themselves on the forehead after reading my post. "damn why didn't steve tell me this 10 years ago? " lol oh well. i've watched friends of mine get married and they walk down the street 5 feet away from each other, one runs after the kid the other bitches at them. UGH. that isn't a life.

 

[Typo]

I am not religious nor do i believe in any of that sort....

But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason!
Stay true to yourself and keep your head up brother. Having something like Iron to go take your frustrations out on instead of a bottle..ect...is a very good thing.

Matthew 7:
13 "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.
14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

 

[thelocal]

Ill just say it like this man..Look at it this way..True love endures forever..if she truly loved you she would have never left NO MATTER what

 

[bluetoolpaul]

i think half the board smacked themselves on the forehead after reading my post. "damn why didn't steve tell me this 10 years ago? " lol oh well. i've watched friends of mine get married and they walk down the street 5 feet away from each other, one runs after the kid the other bitches at them. UGH. that isn't a life.

Haha, i was definitely part of that half bro.

 

[ALIN]

Dont really post in any other spots on here... Has given more motovation to hit it hard n the gym. Has also helped me see my priorities... Shit sucks... Not on cycle n feel really upset, couldnt imagine the opposite.. But not letting it effect my training... Guess im just kinda posting for support from the bros when life throws u the unexpected... Do have a much nastier cycle planned than before now...
Thnx guys
Johnny

Sent from my LG-E739 using EliteFitness

I'm real sorry to hear. No way you two could work it out??

 

[Gunslinger007]

That really sucks, brother.

Not trying to play marriage counselor here, but you never know, things might turn around. Unless she is/was screwing someone else, I would go after her and try my damnedest to make things work.

In my experience, and from a sea of knowledge from countless married and divorced couples I know, I know that a whole lot of marriage and relationship problems are due to society, media, and academia teaching women to disrespect their men. This isn't to say the men aren't at fault as well, but the feminist movement is far-reaching, and has fucked up more relationships and families, and ruined more kids' lives than any other social movement in recent history.

I'd encourage you to be a man, go after your woman and try to win her back. Sure there are 1,000 other skanks who are willing to fill the void, but thats the one you fell in love with, and swore to always love, until death. Trust your former instincts, she is worth fighting for, bro.

 

[strentrainin]

Keep your had up man and don't feel like any less of a man bc you feel down or sad or have those lost, empty feelings. Things like this happen to everyone and people get sad, depressed, don't know which direction to take, whether they admit or not. I'm only 24 and never been married but I've had my fair share of serious relationships one of which I dated on and off for 5 years and then we finally started dating seriously and I thought I was going to marry her. We broke up about 2 year ago and It devastated me, I never felt so empty and sad, I got borderline depressed, had anxiety attacks, it went on for months and then one day after months of not living and feeling sorry for myself, I was going for a run during the middle of the night and It hit me, I was like you know what this isn't me, I haven't lived since we broke up, we aren't getting back together, it's time for me to turn this shit around and focus on ME for once. So that's what I did. I came back to school after that summer and re-joined the gym and put myself first and things started looking up, now that I look back on it. It was the Best Worst thing that ever happened to me. Made me stronger, made me realize my priorities, who my real friends were and that I wouldn't be where I am today without an amazing family and friends. I can honestly say that the thing that made me snap out of it and rid myself of those sad, empty feelings was the gym, once I figured out how to funnel that energy of emptiness, anger, and anxiousness into my workout everyday I became a new man and now can look back on it and laugh, hell she's getting married next month and It doesn't bother me a bit, we still talk from time to time to time. So there is light man, stay busy, keep your head up, surround yourself with good people and hit the gym like you have never before. It'll get better slowly but SURELY. I still get that sick gut punched feeling in my stomach when a girl and I break it off even if we only talked or dated for a month or two. I just recently called it off with a girl i've been seeing for about 2 months now and I haven' spoke to her in about 4 days and I think about her non-stop, don't know if I made the right decision bc she was a cool, down to earth girl, not to mention smoking hot, ever since that rocky break-up I guess i get cold feet, and keep my guard up when sometimes I shouldn't bc I'm scared to get hurt again, i've got to figure out a way around that or i'll let "the one" get by me... Women have always been my weakness, I love em but I hate em. One thing, I've learned is that I will never understand em. Stay strong man. You'll will understand why this happened sooner than later.

 

[stingray23]

That really sucks, brother.

Not trying to play marriage counselor here, but you never know, things might turn around. Unless she is/was screwing someone else, I would go after her and try my damnedest to make things work.

In my experience, and from a sea of knowledge from countless married and divorced couples I know, I know that a whole lot of marriage and relationship problems are due to society, media, and academia teaching women to disrespect their men. This isn't to say the men aren't at fault as well, but the feminist movement is far-reaching, and has fucked up more relationships and families, and ruined more kids' lives than any other social movement in recent history.

I'd encourage you to be a man, go after your woman and try to win her back. Sure there are 1,000 other skanks who are willing to fill the void, but thats the one you fell in love with, and swore to always love, until death. Trust your former instincts, she is worth fighting for, bro.

Its a trust issue. It could never be the same.

 

[Gunslinger007]

Its a trust issue. It could never be the same.

Not sure exactly what part you are responding to, but I said that he should try to work it out for anything OTHER than if she was screwing someone else.

 

[stevesmi]

^^^ if there are kids involved yes. otherwise life is too short to be stuck in a shitty marriage. too many gorgeous women in the sea to be stuck with a bitchy, bossy wife for the rest of your life IMHO.

 

[Colstreamer]

Dont really post in any other spots on here... Has given more motovation to hit it hard n the gym. Has also helped me see my priorities... Shit sucks... Not on cycle n feel really upset, couldnt imagine the opposite.. But not letting it effect my training... Guess im just kinda posting for support from the bros when life throws u the unexpected... Do have a much nastier cycle planned than before now...
Thnx guys
Johnny

Sent from my LG-E739 using EliteFitness

It's sad when it happens, sometimes it can be a relief but mostly, if you didn't initiate it, it's just painful and it takes ages to fade. Emotional wounds always seem to take longer to heal. I think half the time it's because as men we're supposed to be stronger in all ways and not show emotion. As boys we're told "big boys don't cry" "be a man" etc etc. This can lead to bottling things up which just makes things worse.

When I split from my wife back in '07 I took it out in the gym. Hit it hard and trained like a demon. You got no time to feel bad when you're concentrating on the big ass weight you're pushing.

The last thing you want to hear right now is that it gets better with time. Because you want the Iain gone now. Unfortunately the only cure for a broken heart is time.

Keep hitting it hard in the gym bro, focus your mind on those short term goals to take your mind off it.