Smurfy - question about children

[nimbus]

LMAO, some great tags for this thread

 

[Bikini Mod]

i'm sorry for burglarizing your thread lestat but i have four boys aged 7, 11, 17 and 18.

ideally i don't want my boys making the mistakes i've made in the sex department. for many years i used
women to esteem myself. one could argue that we were all consenting willing participants but that doesn't
excuse my involvement. shit, i'm still that guy but i choose not to act on it.

long story short....... my teenage boys became sexually active at 15. these guys were banging college girls
at Auburn university when they were 16 and 17. they both have a mini harem and they play 'em like
fiddles. i try to talk to them but they only hear the words of a hypocrite. i should only hope that they learn
faster than i did. classic example of how kids pick up who their parent(s) are and how they model themselves
accordingly. doesn't really matter what you tell them, they don't listen, they mimic.

Great insight... as my girls' arrival is upon us it was interesting to note that my Old Grump volunteered to me out of the blue that if something were to happen to me he still would not go back to his old ways.

I wonder if on some level he has figured out that now that he will most certainly be the primary male role model to four very damaged little girls that it really REALLY was time to "let that part of his life go"... for the better?

I never ever made him change. I merely told him from the onset that if he wanted to continue to "live the life" then I just wasn't interested. Truth be told, though he didn't cross any major lines (all the mulligans have been used up) he pushed the limits and tried to verbally undo my rules. Once I explained it to him like this:

With the exception of your first wife (who did not swing) every single others of your S/O and wives, well you guys were swingers. If a woman will lay with another woman with or without your presence and she would lay with another man WITH your presence, why were you so shocked when she finally laid with another man WITHOUT your presence?

His mind came to a screeching hault and he never brought the topic up again.

If I had no concrete verbal commitment to a man, I went where I wanted and did what I wanted with whom I wanted. But once I gave my word, the commitment remained intact (on my part) until one party indicated to the other in no uncertain terms "WE ARE DONE."

I can't stand liars, cheats or thieves and won't tolerate any of them.

Strength and power comes from fidelity, not the other way around.

 

[layinback]

Great insight... as my girls' arrival is upon us it was interesting to note that my Old Grump volunteered to me out of the blue that if something were to happen to me he still would not go back to his old ways.

I wonder if on some level he has figured out that now that he will most certainly be the primary male role model to four very damaged little girls that it really REALLY was time to "let that part of his life go"... for the better?

I never ever made him change. I merely told him from the onset that if he wanted to continue to "live the life" then I just wasn't interested. Truth be told, though he didn't cross any major lines (all the mulligans have been used up) he pushed the limits and tried to verbally undo my rules. Once I explained it to him like this:

With the exception of your first wife (who did not swing) every single others of your S/O and wives, well you guys were swingers. If a woman will lay with another woman with or without your presence and she would lay with another man WITH your presence, why were you so shocked when she finally laid with another man WITHOUT your presence?

His mind came to a screeching hault and he never brought the topic up again.

If I had no concrete verbal commitment to a man, I went where I wanted and did what I wanted with whom I wanted. But once I gave my word, the commitment remained intact (on my part) until one party indicated to the other in no uncertain terms "WE ARE DONE."

I can't stand liars, cheats or thieves and won't tolerate any of them.

Strength and power comes from fidelity, not the other way around.

agreed. boy o boy i've got a few stories too!! i am really no longer proud of my sexual exploits. i swear to thor, jesus and krishna i don't miss it.

kathy is very aware of my sordid man-whore past and she sees my *special*
interaction with women on an almost daily basis. i seem to magnetize the
opposite sex lol. i think it is a product of narcissism.

i was asked to moderate the women's board on ef. i told kathy about it and
she said i could but she said it would make her uncomfortable. i declined.

being in a monogamous and loving relationship is THE best of the best.
all other types of relationships are thinly guised efforts to avoid intimacy.
intimacy demands tremendous risk and selflessness, many folks avoid it
at all cost. i can say that i don't blame them but i had to grow up and make
a decision.

 

[Bikini Mod]

agreed. boy o boy i've got a few stories too!! i am really no longer proud of my sexual exploits. i swear to thor, jesus and krishna i don't miss it.

kathy is very aware of my sordid man-whore past and she sees my *special*
interaction with women on an almost daily basis. i seem to magnetize the
opposite sex lol. i think it is a product of narcissism.

i was asked to moderate the women's board on ef. i told kathy about it and
she said i could but she said it would make her uncomfortable. i declined.

being in a monogamous and loving relationship is THE best of the best.
all other types of relationships are thinly guised efforts to avoid intimacy.
intimacy demands tremendous risk and selflessness, many folks avoid it
at all cost. i can say that i don't blame them but i had to grow up and make
a decision.

Boy did you hit the nail on the head POINTBLANK!

 

[heatherrae]

I guess I'm weird but I wouldn't be so upset if he was active at 16 or so. I mean, I try to look back into my own past and remember what it was like. Most kids experiment with their burgeoning sexuality. I would just want him to be as safe as possible and to only mess around with a nice girl, hopefully a girlfriend for whom he at least feels puppy love.

If I had a girl, I might feel a tad more protective only because I know that often young girls are pressured to have sex earlier than they would actually like to have it.

 

[layinback]

I guess I'm weird but I wouldn't be so upset if he was active at 16 or so. I mean, I try to look back into my own past and remember what it was like. Most kids experiment with their burgeoning sexuality. I would just want him to be as safe as possible and to only mess around with a nice girl, hopefully a girlfriend for whom he at least feels puppy love.

If I had a girl, I might feel a tad more protective only because I know that often young girls are pressured to have sex earlier than they would actually like to have it.

heather, when you have a boy, you have ONE penis to worry about.
when you have a girl, you have EVERY penis to worry about.

thank thor, jesus, krishna and buddha...... i have boys.

 

[chrischance]

If you haven't got kids... why ask?

 

[layinback]

If you haven't got kids... why ask?

well, i don't own a camel but i would like to know certain things about camels......

just in case.