Smurfy - question about children

[Lestat]

I don't have any so I can't really relate.

But you have a boy, I don't remember exactly how old, but I know he's rapidly approach adolescense.

if you got to choose, what age would you have him lose his virginity, and would you prefer it to be with someone he felt a deep connection to, or some random ho that he nailed just for the experience of it?

Is it weird to think of your son layin pipe?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Interesting question. I wonder if the same mother would have different feelings towards her two children if they were of different genders.

 

[Cutiebaby]

Coming from a woman who has both boys and a girl I must say that I do not like to think about any of my kids doing the deed at all..However I will coucil each child as to protection and risks of doing all of the above...i would like them to wait however that is unlikely the case. My boys I think 17-18 at the youngest, any younger and I am personally beating the living shit out of them...My daughter well she better wait until it is her wedding night....I do think I am more strict and worried when it comes to my daughter opposed to my boys. She is a little girl who needs protection from big bad boys where as my boys get to be the bad ones......

 

[hurricane]

i dont have kids but if i did .. i would be alot more strict with a girl then a boy

 

[ortiz34]

weird question dude
you think stranger topics than Ariel (good bro)

 

[EnderJE]

As a father of two boys in Canada, I don't care either way. I'll do my best to raise them the best that I can, but I'm already assuming that they'll lose their virginity by 15, smoke, do drugs, and one will turn gay.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am in a peculiar position as I have been stripped of the ability to parent my girls just when they needed me most.

Having said that, I have to accept that my oldest was sexually active by 13.

I don't believe my younger three are yet, though I've lost all contact with them over the past month so a lot could have changed. I do believe that my near 15 year old (second child), 13 and OF COURSE, the baby who will be 12 in December are still inactive.

I will always be angered that I was stripped of this sensitive privilige regarding my eldest daughter, just as I was stripped of deciding who I would be with my first time...

I don't believe that I would face any sons differently then I do my girls. I am close to my sister's children. She has two boys. Somehow it is easier to accept a son's sexual activity more readily than that of a daughter only because (it would seem) that the consequences are more dire for a female child. But when you look at it honestly, who will make my daughters pregnant if not your sons?

 

[Smurfy]

I don't have any so I can't really relate.

But you have a boy, I don't remember exactly how old, but I know he's rapidly approach adolescense.

if you got to choose, what age would you have him lose his virginity, and would you prefer it to be with someone he felt a deep connection to, or some random ho that he nailed just for the experience of it?

Is it weird to think of your son layin pipe?

If I had my way, he would not start having sex until he was in college. At that point, its pretty much inevitable unless youre healother, and I believe that young people need to experience different partners. Its really like a rite of passage in my mind. I dont agree with waiting until marriage or anything like that, Im much more progressive.
But I think High School is wayyyyy too young for either gender. Theres just too much emotional and developmental immaturity that its not a good idea in my mind. So If I can convince him of this, Id be happy. But, Im also not unrealistic. I wont lose my mind id I find out he had sex at 16 for example I just wouldnt be too happy about it.

 

[Creepusmaximus]

Coming from a woman who has both boys and a girl I must say that I do not like to think about any of my kids doing the deed at all..However I will coucil each child as to protection and risks of doing all of the above...i would like them to wait however that is unlikely the case. My boys I think 17-18 at the youngest, any younger and I am personally beating the living shit out of them...My daughter well she better wait until it is her wedding night....I do think I am more strict and worried when it comes to my daughter opposed to my boys. She is a little girl who needs protection from big bad boys where as my boys get to be the bad ones......

LOL. One of friends is Spanish and his Mom bought in a hooker for his 15th birthday. LOL. She said it was time to get on with it, with someone who knows what they are doing.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Which brings to mind another odd sort of question: If you had control would you rather that your sons/daughters were with skilled/experienced lovers for their most initial encounters or would you prefer that they were with virgins as well?

 

[Smurfy]

um why would i care about the bedroom skills of the other person? lol thats gettin a little weird

 

[Creepusmaximus]

I'm not beliver in Love at a young age. Lust yes, Love no.

Can't make decisions like that based on no info.

 

[Smurfy]

I'm not beliver in Love at a young age. Lust yes, Love no.

Can't make decisions like that based on no info.

SOOOO true.

 

[Bikini Mod]

um why would i care about the bedroom skills of the other person? lol thats gettin a little weird

Not at all...

I didn't have a choice who "my first time" was with so this question has always fascinated me. One of the questions I would ask people (if I felt it appropriate of course) was to ask about their first time. I had heard so many downright funny/uncomfortable/forgetable stories that it seemed sort of a common thread. And then, of course, my next leap was to "the first time" I was with a truly skilled and self-less lover. So naturally I progressed to thinking of such circumstances surrounding my children... seeing as how their childhood is nearly past.

Like it or not, adolescence and adulthood is the natural progression of childhood and I dunno, I am not the least bit creeped out to hear about my adolescent/adult children's experiences.

Maybe I am just wierder than most. Or maybe I am just close and stuff like this doesn't wierd me out?

Either way... from the first time I discussed sex with my youngest (She was barely 5 and she MADE ME tell her how her baby sister got into my belly LOL) I realized that sex was an inevitable part of my children's lives and I would much rather that they discuss such issues with me than to hear DUMB SHIT from their dopey clueless girlfriends, or worse yet, from the dopey boys who want to fuck and forget them.

 

[chris302001]

I'm not beliver in Love at a young age. Lust yes, Love no.

Can't make decisions like that based on no info.

LOLOLOL looking back thinking I loved someone when I was 17......I didnt even KNOW the person!

 

[Cutiebaby]

Which brings to mind another odd sort of question: If you had control would you rather that your sons/daughters were with skilled/experienced lovers for their most initial encounters or would you prefer that they were with virgins as well?

Virgin, last chance of disease spreading!

 

[Creepusmaximus]

Virgin, last chance of disease spreading!

I'm big on condoms since women seem to be not that concerned with getting knocked up.

Guys don't trust what they say or you can ruin your life at a young age.

 

[stilleto]

i have a preteen girl and 2 teenage boys.

 

[shogun7]

As a father of two boys in Canada, I don't care either way. I'll do my best to raise them the best that I can, but I'm already assuming that they'll lose their virginity by 15, smoke, do drugs, and one will turn gay.

Good luck...I guess..

 

[layinback]

i'm sorry for burglarizing your thread lestat but i have four boys aged 7, 11, 17 and 18.

ideally i don't want my boys making the mistakes i've made in the sex department. for many years i used
women to esteem myself. one could argue that we were all consenting willing participants but that doesn't
excuse my involvement. shit, i'm still that guy but i choose not to act on it.

long story short....... my teenage boys became sexually active at 15. these guys were banging college girls
at Auburn university when they were 16 and 17. they both have a mini harem and they play 'em like
fiddles. i try to talk to them but they only hear the words of a hypocrite. i should only hope that they learn
faster than i did. classic example of how kids pick up who their parent(s) are and how they model themselves
accordingly. doesn't really matter what you tell them, they don't listen, they mimic.

 

[nimbus]

LMAO, some great tags for this thread

 

[Bikini Mod]

i'm sorry for burglarizing your thread lestat but i have four boys aged 7, 11, 17 and 18.

ideally i don't want my boys making the mistakes i've made in the sex department. for many years i used
women to esteem myself. one could argue that we were all consenting willing participants but that doesn't
excuse my involvement. shit, i'm still that guy but i choose not to act on it.

long story short....... my teenage boys became sexually active at 15. these guys were banging college girls
at Auburn university when they were 16 and 17. they both have a mini harem and they play 'em like
fiddles. i try to talk to them but they only hear the words of a hypocrite. i should only hope that they learn
faster than i did. classic example of how kids pick up who their parent(s) are and how they model themselves
accordingly. doesn't really matter what you tell them, they don't listen, they mimic.

Great insight... as my girls' arrival is upon us it was interesting to note that my Old Grump volunteered to me out of the blue that if something were to happen to me he still would not go back to his old ways.

I wonder if on some level he has figured out that now that he will most certainly be the primary male role model to four very damaged little girls that it really REALLY was time to "let that part of his life go"... for the better?

I never ever made him change. I merely told him from the onset that if he wanted to continue to "live the life" then I just wasn't interested. Truth be told, though he didn't cross any major lines (all the mulligans have been used up) he pushed the limits and tried to verbally undo my rules. Once I explained it to him like this:

With the exception of your first wife (who did not swing) every single others of your S/O and wives, well you guys were swingers. If a woman will lay with another woman with or without your presence and she would lay with another man WITH your presence, why were you so shocked when she finally laid with another man WITHOUT your presence?

His mind came to a screeching hault and he never brought the topic up again.

If I had no concrete verbal commitment to a man, I went where I wanted and did what I wanted with whom I wanted. But once I gave my word, the commitment remained intact (on my part) until one party indicated to the other in no uncertain terms "WE ARE DONE."

I can't stand liars, cheats or thieves and won't tolerate any of them.

Strength and power comes from fidelity, not the other way around.

 

[layinback]

Great insight... as my girls' arrival is upon us it was interesting to note that my Old Grump volunteered to me out of the blue that if something were to happen to me he still would not go back to his old ways.

I wonder if on some level he has figured out that now that he will most certainly be the primary male role model to four very damaged little girls that it really REALLY was time to "let that part of his life go"... for the better?

I never ever made him change. I merely told him from the onset that if he wanted to continue to "live the life" then I just wasn't interested. Truth be told, though he didn't cross any major lines (all the mulligans have been used up) he pushed the limits and tried to verbally undo my rules. Once I explained it to him like this:

With the exception of your first wife (who did not swing) every single others of your S/O and wives, well you guys were swingers. If a woman will lay with another woman with or without your presence and she would lay with another man WITH your presence, why were you so shocked when she finally laid with another man WITHOUT your presence?

His mind came to a screeching hault and he never brought the topic up again.

If I had no concrete verbal commitment to a man, I went where I wanted and did what I wanted with whom I wanted. But once I gave my word, the commitment remained intact (on my part) until one party indicated to the other in no uncertain terms "WE ARE DONE."

I can't stand liars, cheats or thieves and won't tolerate any of them.

Strength and power comes from fidelity, not the other way around.

agreed. boy o boy i've got a few stories too!! i am really no longer proud of my sexual exploits. i swear to thor, jesus and krishna i don't miss it.

kathy is very aware of my sordid man-whore past and she sees my *special*
interaction with women on an almost daily basis. i seem to magnetize the
opposite sex lol. i think it is a product of narcissism.

i was asked to moderate the women's board on ef. i told kathy about it and
she said i could but she said it would make her uncomfortable. i declined.

being in a monogamous and loving relationship is THE best of the best.
all other types of relationships are thinly guised efforts to avoid intimacy.
intimacy demands tremendous risk and selflessness, many folks avoid it
at all cost. i can say that i don't blame them but i had to grow up and make
a decision.

 

[Bikini Mod]

agreed. boy o boy i've got a few stories too!! i am really no longer proud of my sexual exploits. i swear to thor, jesus and krishna i don't miss it.

kathy is very aware of my sordid man-whore past and she sees my *special*
interaction with women on an almost daily basis. i seem to magnetize the
opposite sex lol. i think it is a product of narcissism.

i was asked to moderate the women's board on ef. i told kathy about it and
she said i could but she said it would make her uncomfortable. i declined.

being in a monogamous and loving relationship is THE best of the best.
all other types of relationships are thinly guised efforts to avoid intimacy.
intimacy demands tremendous risk and selflessness, many folks avoid it
at all cost. i can say that i don't blame them but i had to grow up and make
a decision.

Boy did you hit the nail on the head POINTBLANK!

 

[heatherrae]

I guess I'm weird but I wouldn't be so upset if he was active at 16 or so. I mean, I try to look back into my own past and remember what it was like. Most kids experiment with their burgeoning sexuality. I would just want him to be as safe as possible and to only mess around with a nice girl, hopefully a girlfriend for whom he at least feels puppy love.

If I had a girl, I might feel a tad more protective only because I know that often young girls are pressured to have sex earlier than they would actually like to have it.

 

[layinback]

I guess I'm weird but I wouldn't be so upset if he was active at 16 or so. I mean, I try to look back into my own past and remember what it was like. Most kids experiment with their burgeoning sexuality. I would just want him to be as safe as possible and to only mess around with a nice girl, hopefully a girlfriend for whom he at least feels puppy love.

If I had a girl, I might feel a tad more protective only because I know that often young girls are pressured to have sex earlier than they would actually like to have it.

heather, when you have a boy, you have ONE penis to worry about.
when you have a girl, you have EVERY penis to worry about.

thank thor, jesus, krishna and buddha...... i have boys.

 

[chrischance]

If you haven't got kids... why ask?

 

[layinback]

If you haven't got kids... why ask?

well, i don't own a camel but i would like to know certain things about camels......

just in case.