Simpsons Quotes!!

[the nature boy]

There was a good Mayor Quimby quote in the episode where they were buying rats milk off the mob guys. In the scene the mob guys are handing Quimby money. And the Mayor says:

"Thank-you Fat Tony. However, in the future, I would prefer a non-descript briefcase to the sack with a dollar sign on it."

 

[Rex]

Homer: It's just a little airborne it's still good. It's still good.
Bart: It's gone.
Homer: I know.
<cut to Power PLant>
Burns: Smithers I think I'll donate a million dollars to a local orphanage...when pigs fly.
<Laugh. Pig shoots by>
Smithers: Will you still be making that donation sir?
Burns: I'd rather not.

Homer: Look Marge. I'm in America. Australia. America. Australia. America...
<Marine punches Homer>
Marine: Sir, we do not tolerate that kind of crap in America, sir"

 

[The Almighty]

When Bart purchases Laddy (That Lassie type dog) and gives away Santas Little Helper (aka Santos L. Halper)

Bart:....I gave him away too.

Homer: You gave both dogs away? You know how I feel about giving!

Bart: (starts crying)

Homer: (In a conforting voice) There, there....shut up boy. Well just get you a new dog.

Bart: But I dont wanna new dog. I want Santas Little Helper.

Homer: Well crying isnt going to bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit here crying eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back...or you can go get your dog.

Bart: Ill do it! (Runs out of room)

Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

 

[Basement Dweller]

It went something like this......

Homer (speaking to himself): "Okay brain, I don't like you, and you don't like me....so let's get this over with so I can get back to killing you with beer."

 

[3Vandoo]

Marge: My Children are in there

Soldiers: You must be proud ma am

 

[funk4]

I love Homer's quates about TV...
"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day. "

"You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge ... they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live! "

"Lisa :Sorry, Dad, we _do_ believe in you, we really do.
Bart : It's just hard not to listen to TV ... it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.
Homer : Oh, maybe TV _is_ right. TV's _always_ right! "

"Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero ... I want to _live_, Marge! Won't you let me _live_? Won't you please?! "

 

[Citruscide]

Don't know if anyone posted this one --

Judge "If you don't have any more evidence, I'm throwing out this case!"

Lyonal Huts "Well, we have alot of hearsay and conjecture, those are KINDS of evidence..."

-----

"Max Power, that is a very impressive name"

Homer "Thanks, I got it off my wifes hair dryer"

----
Homer "There's the right way, the wrong way and the MAX POWER way!!!"

Lisa "Isn't the max power way the wrong way?"

Homer "YEs... but much faster!"

 

[Natymike]

What was the episode where they were in the middle of the ocean, just outside of US waters, and the coast guard was 20 feet from them. They yelled something at the coast guard and the guard replied "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, COME CLOSER"

lmao, forgot why there were out in the ocean but that was funny shit.

 

[the nature boy]

What was the episode where they were in the middle of the ocean, just outside of US waters, and the coast guard was 20 feet from them. They yelled something at the coast guard and the guard replied "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, COME CLOSER"

lmao, forgot why there were out in the ocean but that was funny shit.

they were in the ocean having a party and drinking booze. the boat belonged to Mr. Burns who was getting a medical exam. The boat is where they had monkey knife fights.

 

[gymrat]

Homer

"shut up you fool, it could be ours"