I can't stop laughing thinking about that poor retarded bastard. I hope he's still around. Oh wait, I got another retarded story that is also 100% true. This one is fucking mean though. I used to play road hockey with this kid who lived two doors down. He was the biggest asshole I have ever met and you'll see why. Anyway, there is another retarded lady who lived nearby. She was a nice lady but far from normal obviously. She used to walk her dog around the block like all fucking day. Every time we would be out playing road hockey after school she'd normally walk by and every time that asshole kid would scream obscenities at her. He always stopped the game, grabbed the ball, ran close to her and took slap shots at her until he hit her. She would pick the ball up after it bounced off her ass and say, "I'm keeping this." It was really mean and we all felt badly - except the asshole of course - but it was still pretty funny. Man, I still see that lady walking her dog when I go home. She's got the sweetest waddle you ever did see. Poor lady.