Should I invite my girlfriend to this board? I'm conflicted...

[frorider6]

Warlobo, I know this is more of a chat thread but I need to know the ladies opinion on this.

Ladies, I have a problem. I am dating a girl right now. I really like her and she likes me (I passed her a note in class one day to make sure). However, she has many misconceptions about training and weightlifting that I can't seem to break her of. She asks the questions and I answer them, but all the "popular" ideas about woman's sports fitness are too deeply ingrained in her. I'd like to bring her to this board so she can learn from you lades. She has such a fantastic body already. I'm trying to take her to the next level.

The problem is this. I've never hidden my steroid use on this board. I've just finished my first cycle and will probably do another one in a couple of months. The only person I've told was my workout partner and that was after he shared some equally incriminating personal info.

So, if I bring her here for advice and support, I will have to divulge my drug use. I just want you ladies to think back to before you came here and before you were exposed to steroids and think about how you first reacted to gear.

I'm conflicted. I want to bring her here to learn, but I'm concerned about how she will react to my usage. I truly do dig this chick and she's just as into me, but at what point do you talk about this stuff?

 

[Sassy69]

fro --

Print out or email to her the sticky that new@ posted above about why women should train:

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=93209

See what she thinks of it and see if she changes any of her perceptions. If you talk to her more, then see if she brings up steroid use at all or how receptive she seems to it. Then see how you feel about opening up that part of your life to her.

 

[frorider6]

I already copied the sticky by Superfrk and emailed that to her, and she loved it (I didn't tell her where it came from). And she already knows and agees with every point made in new@'s sticky, except maybe for #1 (about gaining muscle and losing fat).

The area she needs help in is realizing that free weights are the best thing for her. And she needs to talk to people that can help her. She needs the support that this board would offer.

Basically, I'm just one voice in a crowd. Even if I'm right, she might not fully believe me.

My reservations also extend to the Chat section of this place. I'm a bit rowdy sometimes and a tad of a flirt.

 

[frorider6]

If you talk to her more, then see if she brings up steroid use at all or how receptive she seems to it. Then see how you feel about opening up that part of your life to her.

I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I'm not saying I want her to do steroids. That is totally her choice, like it was mine, and I wouldn't push her either way on it. I don't think she's ready anyway.

It's not a subject that's likely to come up unless I bring it up. Which would probably prompt her to call me out on it. And I like her too much to lie to her.

 

[Sassy69]

That's not what I was implying -- I meant how receptive is she to the topic of steroids in discussion about fitness? If she is "open-minded" then you probably wouldn't worry too much about letting her in on our little Elite secret. If she just doesn't know what it is, then maybe talk some more. If she's totally put off, you might want to hold off a little before you let her into that part of your life. I'm just suggesting that you see how she reacts to the topic of steroids in general to gauge how she might react to you being on.

I'm not suggesting even REMOTELY that she consider AS. Obviously she needs to get educated on just nutrition & fitness in general.

Sorry if that's the way my post came across.

 

[JLo]

I think that unless you plan on cutting out the roids (which is probably not an option for you) that it's best that it come out now. What if things work out great with you guys and then the steriod usage comes out later on and is a big problem?

Unless you are willing to give it up for a girl, then I would make it known right away. Make sure it won't pose a problem later on down the road. Ya know?!

 

[frorider6]

I think that unless you plan on cutting out the roids (which is probably not an option for you) that it's best that it come out now. What if things work out great with you guys and then the steriod usage comes out later on and is a big problem?

Unless you are willing to give it up for a girl, then I would make it known right away. Make sure it won't pose a problem later on down the road. Ya know?!

You make a good point. But do you have to make it sound like I'm a crazy roid junky?

 

[Raina]

Does she know your user name here?? If she doesn't couldn't you simply encourage her to check out Elite but not say what name you post under?? I don't know if that's an option.

Eventually it probably is best to let her know what you're doing but I can see how one would be tentative about that when the person they're telling doesn't really know much about steroids. There really is a wealth of info here. Hell, even if you're not posting and you're just doing searches, this place is an awesome source of fitness education.

Or you can just say that you post here a lot and have her check it out-- it doesn't take long to realize that it's a steroid-friendly zone. Not everyone here does them (I don't...though I'd definately be open to it now more than before). Maybe she'd ask about your own use?? Interested in seeing what you end up doing.

 

[JLo]

You make a good point. But do you have to make it sound like I'm a crazy roid junky?

Well, my x-boyfriend takes steriods and I know how they can be mentally addicting..... that's all. I know he wouldn't quit for anything.... so, I didnt' mean that you were a junkie at all...... sorry if I offended you.... didn't mean to.

 

[frorider6]

Does she know your user name here?? If she doesn't couldn't you simply encourage her to check out Elite but not say what name you post under??

...this place is an awesome source of fitness education.

She doesn't know my user name but it would take her about 10 minutes to figure it out. I don't have a fake personality I use here. I have the same sense of humor here as in real life. And I'd hate for her to discover my use on an internet message board. I'd rather tell her in person.

The reason I want to bring her here is becasue is really is an awesome source of fitness education.

Well, my x-boyfriend takes steriods and I know how they can be mentally addicting..... that's all. I know he wouldn't quit for anything.... so, I didnt' mean that you were a junkie at all...... sorry if I offended you.... didn't mean to.

It's okay, I understand the sentiment. I've monitored my own personality over the course of this and it hasn't really affected me except for possibly raising my self-image. I don't buy into the "roid rage" excuse for anything either.

I'm not looking to get huge. But I do have goals. And my personal view on this is similar to most everything else in life. Moderation. This is definetly no worse for me than the smoking-drinking-bad-diet lifestyle.

 

[muskles]

i wouldn't tell her right away. i mean what if she turns out to be someone who's not going to be around for long. why would you want to tell something that important in the beginning?

be like an onion.. let her peel off the layers

 

[Audacious1]

Listen, if you like her, be straight foward with her. If things work out and you are together for a while, she'll find out one way or another. It's who you are and if she doesn't like the fact you take the stuff, then find someone who does.

 

[muskles]

i politely disagree. i don't think it's necessary to tell all in the name of being straight forward. you can be completely straight forward and not give away all your personal information all at once. i wouldn't tell right away.. but that's just me.

 

[Gladiola]

(I passed her a note in class one day to make sure).

That was cute

I don't think anyone can say for sure when it's best to "talk about this stuff".

If she is really opposed to gear, she might not like coming to this site anyway.

Personally I don't think gear is that much of a big deal or anything for her to be upset about.... but I know that is not necessarily what everyone thinks. Heck, my boyfriend freaks out simply because I DON'T DISAPPROVE (it makes him mad that I think it's OK to do, even though I don't do it, Yeah, how dumb is that??).

So if it's worth the risk... don't know. Sorry that's not too helpful

 

[Audacious1]

Ok Muskles, you have a point...if she asks, tell her, otherwise, if you don't feel comfortable telling her, don't. Just don't lie if she asks.

 

[frorider6]

Well, frustration led me to consider bringing her here. Frustration at trying to teach her the proper way to train and dispell so many myths. But I think I'll keep my usage and this board to myself for now. However, somewhere between now and a ring, I'll tell her.

 

[Sassy69]

Sounds like a good choice for the moment. No need to bring controversy to a relationship just as it is still forming. But keep pounding away at her on the free weights thing. I think you might ask her "Why NOT?" For centuries women have done most of the heavy work in the family anyway - now that we have the free time to pay some organization money so we can lift heavy stuff in special rooms instead of bales of hay out in a field, why not? If the question is between free weights & machines, free weights help you establish balance and control. You don't even have to lift that heavy if you maintain good form. Cable work is great for the final touches before a comp. People practice posing for conditioning.

Its maybe not the weight lifted, but the intensity of the workout. Who can argue with the fact that the body is a wonderful thing - it will respond to a good challenge all the time! Let it get content & it will get bored & squishy.

 

[frorider6]

Intensity is another thing I'm trying to teach her. She asked how much weight she should use for biceps and triceps. I told her as much as she needed to go to failure at 8ish reps with good form.

 

[Trance]

Think about it like this - if the situation was reversed, would you want her to tell you? If you found out she was doing them, would you be pissed that she didn't trust you enough to tell you?

I think if you're going to continue using them, you should tell her. It might not be a bige deal to her at all.

 

[muskles]

frorider6,

good decision i think. i agree w/ audacious1, though, don't lie if the subject comes up. my b/f and i were talking about bb on the way to the mall and right on our way in i asked him if he'd ever juiced... ha ha kind of put him on the spot right in public he didn't lie, he just postponed the subject til we were alone.. i didn't know anything about it at the time, but i was pretty accepting.. my only concern was for his health, but after reading up i figured out he knew what he was doing.

sorry we won't get to chat with her 4 now, but feel free to ask us any questions til then