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Based on your handle and your birthdate I'd say you should contact Ted Kazinski.
You must have been born when the fireworks were going off. Search the web. There is a site that gives a formula for a home made Atom Bomb. I don't know if it would work but it was kind of amusing.
It sounds to me like you are holding things in. Get a job as an explosive expert. That way you can release your pent up frustrations by blowing things up. When I was a kid I used lots of firecrackers, cherry bombs, and dynamite. I graduated to C4, claymores, and grenades. It gave me a real sense of satisfaction when I blew something or someone up. Nowdays I feel kind of guilty about it. Remember, what you do now will come back to haunt you in your old age.
If you hurt small animals or started fires when you were a kid then you probably are a menace to society. I'm sure if you were to walk into the nearest police station and tell them your feelings I'm sure they would find a solution. If they didn't I would assume that they wanted some training for their Swat Team. You know, for when you went off on someone.