Running gear and being a recovering addict?

[life_is_good]

Have been looking around at different cycles members have ran and the same question hits me. Is anyone on here a recovering addict and hows is this not a relapse? Dont get me wrong, I am looking for the justification myself. Have been lifting for years, and want a little extra push. I have been clean for 6.5 years, im only 26 and dont want to go back to that way of life. Any insight would be awesome. Thanks in advance.


Dont blow your anonymity on my part.

 

[needtogetaas]

Have been looking around at different cycles members have ran and the same question hits me. Is anyone on here a recovering addict and hows is this not a relapse? Dont get me wrong, I am looking for the justification myself. Have been lifting for years, and want a little extra push. I have been clean for 6.5 years, im only 26 and dont want to go back to that way of life. Any insight would be awesome. Thanks in advance.


Dont blow your anonymity on my part.

If you are talking a addict of the needle. Then I would say no bro. Its to big a trigger.

I am a recovering drunk. Its no problem for me. In fact it helps me. I have to have something to take the place and getting in the gym and gtting big is my thing.

 

[Donnie Darko]

Normally, steroids are not addictive like narcotic drugs. Any addictions that involve most steroids usually stem from muscle dysmorphia which is more pychological than anything. The entire argument that steroids are or could be addictive is no different than someone saying that if you masturbate you will be a serial rapist. If you have an already addictive personality, perhaps steroids may not be a good thing for you though based upon an addictive personality.

 

[rudy76]

If you are talking a addict of the needle. Then I would say no bro. Its to big a trigger.

I am a recovering drunk. Its no problem for me. In fact it helps me. I have to have something to take the place and getting in the gym and gtting big is my thing.

Same goes for me - never used a needle other than for a cycle. Alcohol was a major problem for me over the last 13 years. Almost 7 months sober now and the gym is my new addiction - Test E, Dbol, Winnie are just an added bonus that make the gym that much better and a hell of a lot better than working out hung over.

If I stopped working out I'm sure I'd have my trusty old bottle of Tanqueray by my side in no time.

Like needto said, if you were a hype then a cycle has bad news written all over it.

Stay Healthy

 

[life_is_good]

never used needle for dope, just ate pills a lot, snorted what ever, smoked what cant be ate or smelled. thats what i call it.

 

[jjaas]

Have been looking around at different cycles members have ran and the same question hits me. Is anyone on here a recovering addict and hows is this not a relapse? Dont get me wrong, I am looking for the justification myself. Have been lifting for years, and want a little extra push. I have been clean for 6.5 years, im only 26 and dont want to go back to that way of life. Any insight would be awesome. Thanks in advance.


Dont blow your anonymity on my part.

I started using when I 14. I got sober when I was 22. I wasnt a weekend junkie, I was the real deal. My thing was speedballs: heroin and cocaine. Mainlining, shooting up, jail, detox, rehab, homeless, you name it, I did it. When I got sober, I was in a halfway house and they offered gym memberships. I spent my time between aa meetings, na meetings, and the gym. I have been sober for almost 8.5 years, no drugs, no alcohol. I have an aa sponsor and I sponsor people. I go to meetings all the time. I worked out for 7 years w no juice. Part of my problem was the needle thing and I didnt want to destroy my liver doing all tab cycles. My 1st cycle was w andriol and halotestin and I liked what little it did for me. My next cycle was w deca and sust. I had to get over the injection part. I was a little creeped out but its just not the same as the dirty nasty shit I was doing. The people who do steroids are not the same either: they tend to be very concerned about their health and are likeable people. It is a shame I fell for the media-hype for so long. I dont mention juicing to my aa buddies bc most of them are very fanatic about sobriety. If I were you, I would toss it around in your head for a month or so more. I thought about it, pros and cons, for about a year. Crack, crackheads, coke, heroin, meth, pot, etc have nothing in common with steroids and health minded poeple. Unfortunately, society has lumped the two together

 

[Beachboy6294]

First bro congrats on being clean for 8.5 years that is awesome!!

I agree about the difference between healthminded people and people wanting to get high. I shattered my leg and had surgery in an Army hospital and got a staph infection where I almost lost my leg and had like 10 surgeries. Well they had me on prescription meds for like 2-3 years while I was going through their experimental surgeries! I basically ended up addictted to these pills and finally woke up and quit. Well I was alway told an addict has to replace one addicttion with another and mine was working out. I have never had any problems with AAS and it's a whole different lifestyle. What sucked was after going through all that I was working in a bar a few years back and got stabbed which I was so scared about being on meds through that but I told me doctor and he made sure I didn't abuse it. Then right after that I know some people on here may remember but I was back at work and got hit with brass knuckles and it shattered my eye socket, broke my jaw, and nasal cavity. That was the worst pain and I was put on alot of meds again but all I kept thinking about was getting through it so I could get back in the gym. So I would say the gym stopped me from being an addict again!

 

[life_is_good]

thats for the personal info guys, its been in my head for about a year to run a cycle of test e and deca but still gotta work out the pct first. thanks again

 

[rudy76]

First bro congrats on being clean for 8.5 years that is awesome!!

I agree about the difference between healthminded people and people wanting to get high. I shattered my leg and had surgery in an Army hospital and got a staph infection where I almost lost my leg and had like 10 surgeries. Well they had me on prescription meds for like 2-3 years while I was going through their experimental surgeries! I basically ended up addictted to these pills and finally woke up and quit. Well I was alway told an addict has to replace one addicttion with another and mine was working out. I have never had any problems with AAS and it's a whole different lifestyle. What sucked was after going through all that I was working in a bar a few years back and got stabbed which I was so scared about being on meds through that but I told me doctor and he made sure I didn't abuse it. Then right after that I know some people on here may remember but I was back at work and got hit with brass knuckles and it shattered my eye socket, broke my jaw, and nasal cavity. That was the worst pain and I was put on alot of meds again but all I kept thinking about was getting through it so I could get back in the gym. So I would say the gym stopped me from being an addict again!

Damn bro - you need to find some safer lines of work.

 

[Beachboy6294]

Damn bro - you need to find some safer lines of work.

I hear you bro after that I retired from bouncing in bars!! Lol... Never again it was right after Hurricane Katrina and we had all those workers from out-of-state and I got stabbed from an illegal mexican.

 

[rambleon]

I'm a recovering addict with just over 7 years clean. Like jjas i was the real deal. Funnily enough i was into speedballs as well when i could get the dinero straight heroin when i couldn't. I find that the needlework involved in juicing is very dissimilar to mainlining. Personally i have no problem with it in so far as it doesn't trigger me. I do feel however that a solid foundation should be in place before taking the leap. I was clean and working out some 3 years before juicing. If u want to do this it should be thought out carefully in advance. Get ur sponsor or a trusted friend in on ur plans and let them help u with reality checks when u start out.

 

[life_is_good]

my sponsor is an old na nazi, been clean for 20 years type dude. my foundation is pretty wide, like i said, im 26 with 6.5 years clean, been asked to lead work shops for youth in recovery at various conventions across the country, sponsored many men, younger and older, think its about time for some fun.

 

[mr.nitro]

I have never done a rec. drug and have only had a sip of beer, and that was like 20 years ago. im as clean as they come. but i do cycle. their is a big difference. im not trying to get high or feel good, im just trying to improve my body. if their is an addiction, its only that im addicted to looking better. if I didn't care I would drop the gear in a heartbeat and never think twice about it.

 

[bblazer]

I am a certified CADC. Here's my opinion on the subject.

Running gear for an addict is a very slippery slope. Often times it involves a lot of the same behavior that was associated with active addiction (having to find and buy illegal substances, or the ritualization of getting set up to shoot for example).

There is also a psychological problem. Lets say you have a very successful cycle. There is a strong chance that your mind will begin to say that you handled a situation that was wrought with danger and you cam out the other side just fine. You might begin to ask yourself if you really are an addict. This is VERY dangerous territory.

Lets not forget that addicts do everything in extreme. If one is good, two must be better right? Carry that on to say "If 400mg test/week is good, maybe another 250 is gonna be great?!"

Finally, what scares me the most here is that the OP admits to trying to rationalize or come up with ways that running gear is OK. That is exactly the same thinking that is used when using. IT DOESN'T WORK! If you have to sit and try and figure out why something is OK or right, then that should be an immediate sign that something is really wrong.

I'll get off my soapbox now.

B-

 

[daville]

this is right up my alley. im a recovering heroin addict/ alcoholic. i been sober for 4yrs and 9mths now. i also work in the medical field and starting iv's was a tough one for me. i was exposed to IV access for 2 yrs and needles are no big deal anymore. if i was to jump right into a cycle without that exposure being sober, then i might have got freaked out doing my cycle. I am also open with my sponsor about everything. I attend meetings on a regular basis and i also sponsor people. I dont feel in any way that steroids are a mind altering substance so i dont consider it a relapse. its like caffeine and we pound coffee in meetings. stay close to meetings and always remember that drugs/alcohol are just a symptom of our problem. The "GREAT I" is the problem.

 

[jackwagner]

I am a certified CADC. Here's my opinion on the subject.

Running gear for an addict is a very slippery slope. Often times it involves a lot of the same behavior that was associated with active addiction (having to find and buy illegal substances, or the ritualization of getting set up to shoot for example).

There is also a psychological problem. Lets say you have a very successful cycle. There is a strong chance that your mind will begin to say that you handled a situation that was wrought with danger and you cam out the other side just fine. You might begin to ask yourself if you really are an addict. This is VERY dangerous territory.

Lets not forget that addicts do everything in extreme. If one is good, two must be better right? Carry that on to say "If 400mg test/week is good, maybe another 250 is gonna be great?!"

Finally, what scares me the most here is that the OP admits to trying to rationalize or come up with ways that running gear is OK. That is exactly the same thinking that is used when using. IT DOESN'T WORK! If you have to sit and try and figure out why something is OK or right, then that should be an immediate sign that something is really wrong.

I'll get off my soapbox now.

B-

very good info

 

[squatmonkey]

Alot of good advice in here. I would just like to say your not alone, I was addicted to pain meds for about 5 years and I will always be an addict. But steroids are different to me. I follow strict planned-out cycles that are not self destructive but totally improve alot of areas of my life. Its all about disciplen ( did I misspell that )

 

[mojeas95]

never used needle for dope, just ate pills a lot, snorted what ever, smoked what cant be ate or smelled. thats what i call it.

same here, and im ok!

 

[life_is_good]

thanks guys, think im gonna do it. to say i was looking for justification was a little off. i wanted to hear from people in recovery and their thoughts on how this is not considered a relapse. i have talked to a few people in recovery and i get different opinions, kinda like here. i will be in check with this and if at anytime i start to act out in old behavior, its off. my life is beautiful and only want to make it better. thanks for everything.

 

[Beachboy6294]

Good luck bro and keep us updated!! Stay Strong!!!

 

[dbcooper]

ALMOST 8 YEARS OF SOBRIETY HERE!! i waited a year after getting clean to start AAS i used AAS as a reward to myself for a year clean, i also wanted to get my natural strenght level up to par before cycling, IMO the juice helped me to get healthier physically and mentally, i use my disease to my advantage in the gym, going full tilt and giving way more intesity than the next guy, because iam trying to "slay the dragon" i know my mind is often asking my body to do things it dosent want to, like with my disease, that being said i feel the drugs are helping me recover and get healthier whil maintaining my sobriety as long as iam slying the dragon i will need a little extra help, because iam not "normal" i got a disease that has stolen from me more than i would like to admit STAY SOBER , TRAIN HARD , AND IF U WANNA JUICE GO FOR IT!!!

 

[Beachboy6294]

Congratulation bro 8 years is awesome!! I understand exactly what your saying!

 

[rudy76]

ALMOST 8 YEARS OF SOBRIETY HERE!! i waited a year after getting clean to start AAS i used AAS as a reward to myself for a year clean, i also wanted to get my natural strenght level up to par before cycling, IMO the juice helped me to get healthier physically and mentally, i use my disease to my advantage in the gym, going full tilt and giving way more intesity than the next guy, because iam trying to "slay the dragon" i know my mind is often asking my body to do things it dosent want to, like with my disease, that being said i feel the drugs are helping me recover and get healthier whil maintaining my sobriety as long as iam slying the dragon i will need a little extra help, because iam not "normal" i got a disease that has stolen from me more than i would like to admit STAY SOBER , TRAIN HARD , AND IF U WANNA JUICE GO FOR IT!!!

That brings up a good point. Many times drug abuse or alcohol abuse causes muscle wasting due to causing poor nutrient absorption and lack of apetite. Long term addicts or alcoholics look like ill aids patients once the damage is done. Steroids help reverse this wasting. The doses we take are much more than a medical dose for muscle wasting but you get my point.

The only thing is guys - (one thing I think about), I have redeveloped my physique but I just hope my organs can do the same.

 

[ryno9000]

I am a recovering alcoholic/addict and I am only 24. Sad I know. I was a needle junkie for a bit. For me, like Needto and some of the other fellas said, working out is kinda of part of my recovery. It keeps me healthy and consistent and gives me structure as well as just feeling good about yourself. To be completely honest though, I could see some of my addict tendency on my last cycle (if 100mg of prop is good, then 200mg will be EVEN BETTER!), but was luckily able to check myself and I never did anything stupid. If you stay honest with yourself, and really don't allow yourself to slip up (you know you are going to slip up before you even do, as I'm sure you already know), then you should be fine.

PS I don't think there is a sponsor out there who would allow you to be a sponsee knowing that you are using gear. At least not where I am from.

 

[dbcooper]

That brings up a good point. Many times drug abuse or alcohol abuse causes muscle wasting due to causing poor nutrient absorption and lack of apetite. Long term addicts or alcoholics look like ill aids patients once the damage is done. Steroids help reverse this wasting. The doses we take are much more than a medical dose for muscle wasting but you get my point.

The only thing is guys - (one thing I think about), I have redeveloped my physique but I just hope my organs can do the same.

check this out, when i enterd inpatient treatment i weighed 177 in there i squatted and did deads and ate , left there in 28 days at 200lbs!!!! ayear later before juice i was 215 im sayin it is good for the guy who is dedicated to sobriety and IMO it creates discipline in an addict while starting good gym habits, i know i will be in the gym for my whole life +++

 

[halfcenturian]

this is right up my alley. im a recovering heroin addict/ alcoholic. i been sober for 4yrs and 9mths now. i also work in the medical field and starting iv's was a tough one for me. i was exposed to IV access for 2 yrs and needles are no big deal anymore. if i was to jump right into a cycle without that exposure being sober, then i might have got freaked out doing my cycle. I am also open with my sponsor about everything. I attend meetings on a regular basis and i also sponsor people. I dont feel in any way that steroids are a mind altering substance so i dont consider it a relapse. its like caffeine and we pound coffee in meetings. stay close to meetings and always remember that drugs/alcohol are just a symptom of our problem. The "GREAT I" is the problem.

Bravo! Self centeredness is the root of all evil.

HC.- 8.4 years recovering drunk.

 

[jjaas]

That brings up a good point. Many times drug abuse or alcohol abuse causes muscle wasting due to causing poor nutrient absorption and lack of apetite. Long term addicts or alcoholics look like ill aids patients once the damage is done. Steroids help reverse this wasting. The doses we take are much more than a medical dose for muscle wasting but you get my point.

The only thing is guys - (one thing I think about), I have redeveloped my physique but I just hope my organs can do the same.

I hear you on this one. When I went into the halfway house, I weighed about 132 lbs. My 1st go at a bench press was the 45 lb bar, no plates and wicked wobbly, had to have a spotter ha. Before juicing, I hovered at 175-180. Now I weigh 195-200. My bench is 285( Im sure it could be more but I keep fucking up my shoulder). I swear to God, lifting weights has saved my sobriety more times than I can remember. I broke up with this no good girl at 2 years sober. Rather than go drink or use over it, I got all pissed and doubled up on the gym. 2 months later, she wanted to get back together but I was like, fuck that, I look great, feel great, Im over you and Im hooking up with some bangin chicks now! ha
juice has been an interesting part of working out and has helped me make some gains but recently I realize its an ancillary to what I really enjoy: pushing weight. Congrats to all the people with sobreity, this thread has been an eye opener

 

[Beachboy6294]

I hear you on this one. When I went into the halfway house, I weighed about 132 lbs. My 1st go at a bench press was the 45 lb bar, no plates and wicked wobbly, had to have a spotter ha. Before juicing, I hovered at 175-180. Now I weigh 195-200. My bench is 285( Im sure it could be more but I keep fucking up my shoulder). I swear to God, lifting weights has saved my sobriety more times than I can remember. I broke up with this no good girl at 2 years sober. Rather than go drink or use over it, I got all pissed and doubled up on the gym. 2 months later, she wanted to get back together but I was like, fuck that, I look great, feel great, Im over you and Im hooking up with some bangin chicks now! ha
juice has been an interesting part of working out and has helped me make some gains but recently I realize its an ancillary to what I really enjoy: pushing weight. Congrats to all the people with sobreity, this thread has been an eye opener

Wow bro I couldn't imagine having to start with just the bar and only weigh 132lbs!! You really have worked your way up!

 

[jjaas]

Wow bro I couldn't imagine having to start with just the bar and only weigh 132lbs!! You really have worked your way up!

yeah, I never ate when I was out there using drugs. I was always busy trying to score and then couldnt eat bc of the drugs, plus coke tears into the body causing all kinds of probs, esp Vit C deficiancy. I still have 1 pic of what I looked like, I still get a kick out of comparing it to a recent pic of me.

beachboy, youve been thru some shit, staph infections, stabbings, bar brawls and bouncing, holy shit. Im in this jujitsu class w this guy who used to be a bouncer, he tells me some crazy stories
did you have the MERCA staph infection, the flesh eater? ouch

 

[Beachboy6294]

yeah, I never ate when I was out there using drugs. I was always busy trying to score and then couldnt eat bc of the drugs, plus coke tears into the body causing all kinds of probs, esp Vit C deficiancy. I still have 1 pic of what I looked like, I still get a kick out of comparing it to a recent pic of me.

beachboy, youve been thru some shit, staph infections, stabbings, bar brawls and bouncing, holy shit. Im in this jujitsu class w this guy who used to be a bouncer, he tells me some crazy stories
did you have the MERCA staph infection, the flesh eater? ouch

No if I had the Merca one I doubt they could have saved my leg! They wanted me to sign the papers going into surgery that they could amputate my leg if needed I told them hell no wake me up and I will party til I die! They ended up have to remove my Fibula out of my leg because it was infected and they had to remove an artery that was too and take another one from my other leg. I had never had problems bouncing in bars except little fights until all that happened in one year!!

 

[jjaas]

No if I had the Merca one I doubt they could have saved my leg! They wanted me to sign the papers going into surgery that they could amputate my leg if needed I told them hell no wake me up and I will party til I die! They ended up have to remove my Fibula out of my leg because it was infected and they had to remove an artery that was too and take another one from my other leg. I had never had problems bouncing in bars except little fights until all that happened in one year!!

all I can say is holy shit! no really, thats bad ass that you can take all that in one year and make something positive of it

 

[Beachboy6294]

Shit whatelse can you do? I have to be positive and live for my daughters and myself or go back to being messed up so it's a pretty easy decision!

 

[life_is_good]

well guys this is what it comes down to, thanks to help from a few members this is what i am gonna give a go:
1-12 test e 500mgs ew
1-12 deca 300mgs ew
1-4 dbol 25mgs ed

pct:
50mgs clomid ed
20mgs nolva ed