Relationships are mostly for weak people?

[swole]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

 

[SoKlueles]

that was so sweet, i hope you find someone that makes you happy

 

[DieselGunz]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

it can go both ways aslong as you have goals and so does she i dont see why you cant conqour them together. if you have asperations and she just wants her dead end job that is when it gets ugly

I see no problem doing your shit straight then finding someone when the time is right BUT somethings dont always go as planned

Fn killer Avi

 

[swole]

that was so sweet, i hope you find someone that makes you happy

goddamn woman, this isn't about me finding a girl.

I'm asking you people whether or not relationships are a sign of weakness for those wanting to hold hands in the deep end.

Do you think people pair up to make paying bills easier or because they trully complete eachother?

 

[SoKlueles]

goddamn woman, this isn't about me finding a girl.

I'm asking you people whether or not relationships are a sign of weakness for those wanting to hold hands in the deep end.

Do you think people pair up to make paying bills easier or because they trully complete eachother?

I think a relationship is 50/50. i think if you truly love someone, you will do your best to make them happy. If your not ready then you shouldnt get into the relationship.
I have saw you make another thread on the subject of relationships. I just want you to be happy. Id still pinch ur cheeks tho

 

[DieselGunz]

Personally I like knowing that what ever happens she is there for me and visa versa.

Could I afford my life style without her....no..but i considered that before we made our decisions.

 

[rocky_road]

Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Mature opinions please.

Kind of. Maybe you're the one who is weak because you cannot juggle all the things at once, including time to be in a caring relationship with a girl.

But just to let you know, I'm kind of the same way as you. Either that, or I just have a hard time finding a match with guys. I'm kind of picky about personalities. I'm also quite unsatisfied with my own personality, though. You might be surprised to find out that it is rare for me to find a relationship where sparks fly. I think i'm just weird :-(

 

[velvett]

I think people who have co-dependency problems could have problems with relationships but all kinds of relationships.

People just need to understand that a good relationship adds to your life and does not make or define it.

 

[foreigngirl]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

seriously? OK.

1. People are not weak because they are a part of a couple. They do go through life as a team with someone else, but the hardest part is to accomodate, get used to and put up with the negative sides of the partner. At least one of that "couple" gets bended, twisted, stretched....all that to come in sync with the other one. I dont think that can be a sign of weakness

2. Its all individual, if you want to wait till you are secure, go ahead. If you dont, its still ok. But IMO, sometimes its better not to wait, cause if you do, it will come too late. For example - when me and my husband married, he didnt have anything, and I mean nothing, zero, he still lived with his mom for Gods sake. I dont want to go into details about my relationship, cause its not significant to your question. I just want to say that it is much nicer and much more apriciated all that we have right now, cause both of us busted our ass to make it in this world, while trying to figure out each one of ours characters and how to work around it (see #1)

 

[swole]

it can go both ways aslong as you have goals and so does she i dont see why you cant conqour them together. if you have asperations and she just wants her dead end job that is when it gets ugly

I see no problem doing your shit straight then finding someone when the time is right BUT somethings dont always go as planned

Fn killer Avi

In a way I'd rather have a girl with a dead end job. I want the girl to keep herself busy without having to deal with a complicated profession. I want my wife to raise our children from birth (I'm sure my mother will play a big part of this), then maybe run a business she started from home when the kids are old enough to wipe their own ass. Like I have always said, 60/40.

But seriously, how many relationships do you know are based on each partner supplementing eachother's happiness rather than helping eachother pay bills?

 

[DieselGunz]

Kind of. Maybe you're the one who is weak because you cannot juggle all the things at once, including time to be in a caring relationship with a girl.

But just to let you know, I'm kind of the same way as you. Either that, or I just have a hard time finding a match with guys. I'm kind of picky about personalities. I'm also quite unsatisfied with my own personality, though. You might be surprised to find out that it is rare for me to find a relationship where sparks fly. I think i'm just weird :-(

not wierd you just dont want to settle.....VERY good thing

 

[velvett]

In a way I'd rather have a girl with a dead end job. I want the girl to keep herself busy without having to deal with a complicated profession. I want my wife to raise our children from birth (I'm sure my mother will play a big part of this), then maybe run a business she started from home when the kids are old enough to wipe their own ass. Like I have always said, 60/40.

But seriously, how many relationships do you know are based on each partner supplementing eachother's happiness rather than helping eachother pay bills?

LOL

It's not wonder it took so long to find the right guy....

 

[covergrl80]

It not about being weak. Hell my relationship has it low points and it's high points. They can add stress,a partner can aslo help ease the stress of other situations. ther is nothing weak about trying to make a relationship.

 

[rocky_road]

In a way I'd rather have a girl with a dead end job. I want the girl to keep herself busy without having to deal with a complicated profession. I want my wife to raise our children from birth (I'm sure my mother will play a big part of this), then maybe run a business she started from home when the kids are old enough to wipe their own ass. Like I have always said, 60/40.

But seriously, how many relationships do you know are based on each partner supplementing eachother's happiness rather than helping eachother pay bills?

1.) your first paragraph makes you seem like a control freak. Maybe it's better you're out of a relationship for a while

2.) I see your point. I kind of agree with you and you dont really know, I guess it just depends on the case. Some people are lonely out of relationships. Some are fine either way, but their life is 10 times more fullfilling IN a relationship. This is the way I would normally think of most people, cause its the way I think I would be. However, when you think a certain way, its hard to imagine and estimate how many people get married just for the cash or society acceptance or whatnot. But I'm sure it happens.

 

[swole]

seriously? OK.

1. People are not weak because they are a part of a couple. They do go through life as a team with someone else, but the hardest part is to accomodate, get used to and put up with the negative sides of the partner. At least one of that "couple" gets bended, twisted, stretched....all that to come in sync with the other one. I dont think that can be a sign of weakness

2. Its all individual, if you want to wait till you are secure, go ahead. If you dont, its still ok. But IMO, sometimes its better not to wait, cause if you do, it will come too late. For example - when me and my husband married, he didnt have anything, and I mean nothing, zero, he still lived with his mom for Gods sake. I dont want to go into details about my relationship, cause its not significant to your question. I just want to say that it is much nicer and much more apriciated all that we have right now, cause both of us busted our ass to make it in this world, while trying to figure out each one of ours characters and how to work around it (see #1)

Great post FG. For the most part I actually agree with you. I was rather young, but my only serious relationship happened when I was 17-21 years old. She was the same age, very mature, level-headed, sexy as fuck girl. We grew so much together, and in turn I learned quite a bit about myself.

But my question to everyone is based exactly on this...why do we have to be in a relationship to learn about eachother? To me this is a sign of weakness. We should be able to determine this on our own THEN find someone to supplement our happiness.

I am not taking away what you have with your husband FG, because I have nothing but respect for two people doing their best to better their lives.

 

[javaguru]

My general experience has been that when I find the "right" woman she inspires me. I'm very successful but that "one woman" inspires me to be even more. I think that's normal for men. When you find that woman you consider worthy of your devotion you will move mountains for them....just my .02

 

[PBR]

SWOLE - it has nothing to do with weakness...loneliness perhaps...most people cannot handle being alone. Adding another person into your "space" does NOT make anything easier...Paying bills eaiser?...NO it just means your paying twice as much, writing twice as many checks, using twice as much water, two bank accounts instead of 1...two cars, two insurance premiums, combined income for taxes, two people in the same house with the flu, twice as many phone calls, two bathrooms, periods 1X per month etc etc...

realtionships should be about: not being able to be without a certain somebody.

the reasons that you listed in your question are why Most people get married, and why Most people get divorced...

 

[rocky_road]

But my question to everyone is based exactly on this...why do we have to be in a relationship to learn about eachother? To me this is a sign of weakness. We should be able to determine this on our own THEN find someone to supplement our happiness.

Interesting and refreshing.

 

[biteme]

I'm weak. I think I'd really like a relationship. God just doesn't want me to have one.

 

[javaguru]

I'm weak. I think I'd really like a relationship. God just doesn't want me to have one.

Screw "God" make your own destiny....

 

[nycgirl]

But my question to everyone is based exactly on this...why do we have to be in a relationship to learn about eachother? To me this is a sign of weakness. We should be able to determine this on our own THEN find someone to supplement our happiness.

Yes, you are right.

That's why people should be alone for a year or more.

I agree with Javaguru.

 

[covergrl80]

i think it is a little hard to learn a person inside and out,up and down without sharing very deep things and a lot of time with that person. Not saying that it can't be done. Just see it being very hard.
You know more about your partner because you spend so much time learning them

 

[foreigngirl]

Great post FG. For the most part I actually agree with you. I was rather young, but my only serious relationship happened when I was 17-21 years old. She was the same age, very mature, level-headed, sexy as fuck girl. We grew so much together, and in turn I learned quite a bit about myself.

But my question to everyone is based exactly on this...why do we have to be in a relationship to learn about eachother? To me this is a sign of weakness. We should be able to determine this on our own THEN find someone to supplement our happiness.

I am not taking away what you have with your husband FG, because I have nothing but respect for two people doing their best to better their lives.

how else would you learn about how that person is? By being friends first? Thats a good, but risky way, cause you dont know when that friendship can go into something more serious or even when is too late to become anything more than friends.

 

[swole]

Kind of. Maybe you're the one who is weak because you cannot juggle all the things at once, including time to be in a caring relationship with a girl.

But just to let you know, I'm kind of the same way as you. Either that, or I just have a hard time finding a match with guys. I'm kind of picky about personalities. I'm also quite unsatisfied with my own personality, though. You might be surprised to find out that it is rare for me to find a relationship where sparks fly. I think i'm just weird :-(

Stop assuming things. Now.

I am fully capable of juggling a relationship. I can back it up with examples, but it's irrelevant to the question.

See? All you people are using relationships as tools to conquer: life, stress, money, goals, inspiration...

Why not conquer/discover these on your own THEN find a woman to share all the happiness with?

 

[foreigngirl]

Why not conquer/discover these on your own THEN find a woman to share all the happiness with?

because she might not apriciate them fully if you did that on your own befroe knowing her. She might take them for granted. If you two together acomplished things, than she knows how those goals were reached - through hard work and determination

 

[rocky_road]

See? All you people are using relationships as tools to conquer: life, stress, money, goals, inspiration...

Why not conquer/discover these on your own THEN find a woman to share all the happiness with?

Cause I want to get married before I retire.

 

[Quadsweeps Sister]

goddamn woman, this isn't about me finding a girl.

I'm asking you people whether or not relationships are a sign of weakness for those wanting to hold hands in the deep end.

Do you think people pair up to make paying bills easier or because they trully complete eachother?

Maybe think about it from another perspective.

You meet someone you enjoy being around. This person has a strong work ethic and makes enough money and has lived on their own. This person can take care of theirself in this world alone. But, you decide you want to spend more time together and eventually share you life with them. This is when the "pairing up because of's" aren't truly because of - the "of's" are just a lot nicer to deal with because you have someone to share the load of life - which hits us all hard.

-- You mow the yard while she trims and weeds, you get done in record time and go ride Harley's (teamwork).
-- You both work hard and save a fat load of cash, you go to Ireland, Scotland or Spain and see Castles and cool stuff with someone who you care about, someone whose reaction to these things you would actually like to see.
-- You have a death in your family and someone is there to comfort you and listen or not as you need them to.

I don't know - to me its not that I ever wanted to meet someone to make it easier for me to live my life. I just wanted to 'share the life I have made' with someone who wants to do the same with me.

 

[nycgirl]

Stop assuming things. Now.

I am fully capable of juggling a relationship. I can back it up with examples, but it's irrelevant to the question.

See? All you people are using relationships as tools to conquer: life, stress, money, goals, inspiration...

Why not conquer/discover these on your own THEN find a woman to share all the happiness with?

You skipped my post.

 

[foreigngirl]

1.) your first paragraph makes you seem like a control freak. Maybe it's better you're out of a relationship for a while

.

RR, you are still young and still have things to learn. 7 years ago, I would think the same way, but now I see that no, its not being a control freak. Taking care of people (kids and husband included) is in womens nature, providing for the family and fighting for their best is in mens nature. Thats how its been and thats how it has to be for a marriage to work out. That doesnt mean that the woman is not included in making decisions about the household. In this world of working women its a lot harder to work, take care of kids and make sure they get proper manners and raising AND taking care of the husband (making him lunch for work, preparing his breakfast...) + on top of that taking care of the house.

 

[rocky_road]

Swole, your whole idea depends on personal opinion. You are going to do things in your life according to the order you want, not by what anyone else says, even if another order makes more logical sence. Your feelings toward aspects of your life, in comination with the opportunities you are present with and/or create, will dictate the orde you get things done (if at all)

 

[alien amp pharm]

I thought I wanted a relationship, but now that I basically have one in front of me for the taking if I want.....I don't really think I want it.

I prefer living stress free and doing what I want to do.

 

[swole]

Maybe think about it from another perspective.

You meet someone you enjoy being around. This person has a strong work ethic and makes enough money and has lived on their own. This person can take care of theirself in this world alone. But, you decide you want to spend more time together and eventually share you life with them. This is when the "pairing up because of's" aren't truly because of - the "of's" are just a lot nicer to deal with because you have someone to share the load of life - which hits us all hard.

-- You mow the yard while she trims and weeds, you get done in record time and go ride Harley's (teamwork).
-- You both work hard and save a fat load of cash, you go to Ireland, Scotland or Spain and see Castles and cool stuff with someone who you care about, someone whose reaction to these things you would actually like to see.
-- You have a death in your family and someone is there to comfort you and listen or not as you need them to.

I don't know - to me its not that I ever wanted to meet someone to make it easier for me to live my life. I just wanted to 'share the life I have made' with someone who wants to do the same with me.

And THIS people, is what we call...STABILITY and MATURITY. This is the type of relationship I would like to have...shared happiness with someone whose company I enjoy in large amounts of time.

 

[biteme]

Swole, your whole idea depends on personal opinion. You are going to do things in your life according to the order you want, not by what anyone else says, even if another order makes more logical sence. Your feelings toward aspects of your life, in comination with the opportunities you are present with and/or create, will dictate the orde you get things done (if at all)

You and Swole just shared a special moment. LOL I guess the interacting with people is more entertaining than watching the television or having to deal with people in real life? I'm not picking on you. Just trying to be funny. Trying that is.

 

[PBR]

Stop assuming things. Now.

I am fully capable of juggling a relationship. I can back it up with examples, but it's irrelevant to the question.

See? All you people are using relationships as tools to conquer: life, stress, money, goals, inspiration...

Why not conquer/discover these on your own THEN find a woman to share all the happiness with?

great post bro...agree 100%.

 

[biteme]

I thought I wanted a relationship, but now that I basically have one in front of me for the taking if I want.....I don't really think I want it.

I prefer living stress free and doing what I want to do.

SHe dumped you already?

 

[rocky_road]

You and Swole just shared a special moment. LOL I guess the interacting with people is more entertaining than watching the television or having to deal with people in real life? I'm not picking on you. Just trying to be funny. Trying that is.

you're trying to use me as an excuse to say something funny

l0ser.

 

[swole]

great post bro...agree 100%.

Thanks bro. Don't get me wrong, every relationship will see it's share of stress and obstacles. But constantly and purposely LEANING on your partner instead of overcoming the speed bumps together is what I consider weakness.

 

[biteme]

you're trying to use me as an excuse to say something funny

l0ser.

No, no. I like you.

 

[alien amp pharm]

SHe dumped you already?

What? No. SHE wants a relationship .

I thought I would want one too, but now I'm not so sure. I think I'd rather be single


....as long as she keeps giving me sex

 

[swole]

I thought I wanted a relationship, but now that I basically have one in front of me for the taking if I want.....I don't really think I want it.

I prefer living stress free and doing what I want to do.

You are basically defining a relationship as stress which tells me you won't be in it for the right reasons.

 

[biteme]

What? No. SHE wants a relationship .

I thought I would want one too, but now I'm not so sure. I think I'd rather be single


....as long as she keeps giving me sex

I could be wrong, but I think you're just not in love with her. When you are, all those things that mean so much to you ( freedom to do what you want when you want, etc) will not matter anymore because she will fascinate you and you will never be able to get enough of her.

 

[jack sparrow]

No emotions, no headaches, no stress.

 

[foreigngirl]

Swole, if lets say, you meet the person that completes you and you enjoy spending most of your time in her company, BUT you still didnt reach your goals - would you stay with her or would you tell her to wait until you do what you need to do?

 

[PBR]

Thanks bro. Don't get me wrong, every relationship will see it's share of stress and obstacles. But constantly and purposely LEANING on your partner instead of overcoming the speed bumps together is what I consider weakness.

knowing yourself first and being happy with WHO YOU are, is a key factor in having a successful relationship...you have to be comfortable and content with yourself first...otherwise, you are bringing in someone else to fill a void or to complete you...this person will ultimately fail you, because they will fall short of YOUR EXPECTATIONS...

 

[EnderJE]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

It's a POV.

You see a team being "weak". Others see it as strength. People see being alone as being weak. You don't.

Who the fuck cares?

 

[alien amp pharm]

You are basically defining a relationship as stress which tells me you won't be in it for the right reasons.

All relationships cause stress. Some just more than others.

If you don't think so you are living in Fantasy Land

or Disney Land, I can never remember which.

 

[alien amp pharm]

I could be wrong, but I think you're just not in love with her. When you are, all those things that mean so much to you ( freedom to do what you want when you want, etc) will not matter anymore because she will fascinate you and you will never be able to get enough of her.

I've had those feelings for a female before.

and I hope I never feel them again. All it does is make me a pu$$y and hurts that much more once they screw me over.

 

[the-short-one]

hell. I didn't have a serious relationship until my late 20's. I wanted to be wild and do my thing. Make my own money. Travel. And I did.

I'm glad I did these things, because it makes me a stronger person now in the relationship that I have. I don't regret "not doing things" because I did them.

There's still some traveling yet to do, but I get to do it with someone I love and it's a cool adventure for both of us.

 

[PBR]

No emotions, no headaches, no stress.

true...but doesnt she make alot of unnecessary noise during, you know- sex?

 

[foreigngirl]

You are basically defining a relationship as stress which tells me you won't be in it for the right reasons.

every relationship has stress and arguments. Even the ones that seem the happiest couple on earth. Dont let anyone tell you that there is such a thing as perfect relationship with the perfect person, cause they would be lying

 

[biteme]

I've had those feelings for a female before.

and I hope I never feel them again. All it does is make me a pu$$y and hurts that much more once they screw me over.

You know what sux. I really loved my wife. I didn't like everything about her, but I married her for life and I meant it. She's not the same person anymore. Now I have to raise our daughter. I just do the best I can.

 

[jack sparrow]

true...but doesnt she make alot of unnecessary noise during, you know- sex?

Sometimes she hisses a little, but it's better than hearing "I love you"

 

[PBR]

Sometimes she hisses a little, but it's better than hearing "I love you"

thats funny bro- good come back!!!...on a serious note: when its the one you dream about, those words are the "light" in us all...

 

[swole]

Swole, if lets say, you meet the person that completes you and you enjoy spending most of your time in her company, BUT you still didnt reach your goals - would you stay with her or would you tell her to wait until you do what you need to do?

I would stay and achieve my goals with her by my side. I would never turn down love.

Now before you say I'm being hypocritical, the question I posed in my original post was whether or not you see relationships as a sign of weakness. In order for me to meet the girl who "completes" me, I would have to be totally happy with who I am (just like PBR said) in ALL aspects, otherwise the relationship will be soured by insecurities. It will be extremely difficult to open myself up (unless it hits me by total surprise and I can't help it) to a girl unless I can consider myself 110% stable. As of this moment I consider my emotions stable, but not my future. There are too many unknown variables at the moment (as far as a job goes post-graduation). Should someone accept me for the person I am today and be willing to supplement my happiness and passion for life, then I have no problem whatsoever having a woman by my side while searching for financial stability.

Capice?

 

[Lestat]

well said swole, agree.

 

[foreigngirl]

I would stay and achieve my goals with her by my side. I would never turn down love.

Now before you say I'm being hypocritical, the question I posed in my original post was whether or not you see relationships as a sign of weakness. In order for me to meet the girl who "completes" me, I would have to be totally happy with who I am (just like PBR said) in ALL aspects, otherwise the relationship will be soured by insecurities. It will be extremely difficult to open myself up (unless it hits me by total surprise and I can't help it) to a girl unless I can consider myself 110% stable. As of this moment I consider my emotions stable, but not my future. There are too many unknown variables at the moment (as far as a job goes post-graduation). Should someone accept me for the person I am today and be willing to supplement my happiness and passion for life, then I have no problem whatsoever having a woman by my side while searching for financial stability.

Capice?

tuto

I was not about to call you hypocritical at all, that was not even on my mind. Give yourself some time and space to sort things out, like nycgirl said. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes its very hard to drag someone else through the dirt that you have to clean up behind yourself first. As soon as your goals are set (not nessecarilly acomplished) and you have a vision of how your future should form, there should be no problem.

 

[swole]

tuto

I was not about to call you hypocritical at all, that was not even on my mind. Give yourself some time and space to sort things out, like nycgirl said. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes its very hard to drag someone else through the dirt that you have to clean up behind yourself first. As soon as your goals are set (not nessecarilly acomplished) and you have a vision of how your future should form, there should be no problem.

Yo sweets, this thread wasn't about validating the fact that I need to sort things out. I'm simply asking if people see relationships as weakness or strength.

But, I do agree with what you just said. It's sad to see people bring all this excess baggage into a relationship just because the other person supposedly makes it easier to deal with...this is the weakness I'm referring to...I'm glad we're on the same page now

 

[coldblue1955]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

I hope i get a kick ass mate!

 

[Kakdiesel]

Sup Swole.

I didnt read all the posts in this thread, except your initial one so I'll give you some advice/my opinion.

I think that making yourself happy, content, and satisfied with life should be everyone's number one goal. I have seen it far too many times with guys and girls thinking that they should find someone else to be happy.

Thus, it will ultimately end because that person expected their s.o. to take the responsibility in making them happy etc.

However, this is a very selfish viewpoint on life. Its unfair to expect that from anyone. Thus, disappointment insues and relationship = over.

So to be honest, I think you feelign this way is perfectly normal and healthy and when the time is right, you will want to be with someone--someday.

But you're on the right track.

 

[Lestat]

I hope i get a kick ass mate!

we all do bro

 

[foreigngirl]

Yo sweets, this thread wasn't about validating the fact that I need to sort things out. I'm simply asking if people see relationships as weakness or strength.
But, I do agree with what you just said. It's sad to see people bring all this excess baggage into a relationship just because the other person supposedly makes it easier to deal with...this is the weakness I'm referring to...I'm glad we're on the same page now

that, the bold part, I was expecting that. Thats how good I can read you. But listen, dont take everything I say as something that you personally should do or as an advice. Sometimes I am too lazy to think things through and just write it as it comes to me.

Well, sometimes people drag their baggage in a relationship, cause it just happened that way, not to make things easier to deal with. But, yeah, I agree, its better off without it. I just wish everyone would be rationalizing like you do.

 

[Lestat]

foreigngirl is a smart one bro, you can learn from her.

 

[Kakdiesel]

she has great penmanship

 

[Lestat]

she has great penmanship

and a nice ass troo

 

[foreigngirl]

she has great penmanship

do I need to write another note, but in another language?

 

[swole]

that, the bold part, I was expecting that. Thats how good I can read you. But listen, dont take everything I say as something that you personally should do or as an advice. Sometimes I am too lazy to think things through and just write it as it comes to me.

Well, sometimes people drag their baggage in a relationship, cause it just happened that way, not to make things easier to deal with. But, yeah, I agree, its better off without it. I just wish everyone would be rationalizing like you do.

 

[Kakdiesel]

do I need to write another note, but in another language?

i dont speak communism

 

[Lestat]

this is like a foreigngirl fanclub up in here

 

[Dunk]

datta asseh issa rookea rikea issa forehngairrrrrrr.

 

[foreigngirl]

Gotta go sleep now, way past my bed time



Kak - thats what I thought. Dont let me see another comment like that, k?



Lestat - huh, fan club? We are all having normal conversation, nobody is being sleezy, thank God. Btw - I dont have a fanclub yet

 

[Lestat]

Sweet dreams Foreigngirl.

All I meant by my comment was that you are very well like by some of the coolest people on here.

 

[foreigngirl]

Sweet dreams Foreigngirl.

All I meant by my comment was that you are very well like by some of the coolest people on here.

I know you didnt mean anything bad. And you know - anything good you see, PM with a link right away


Night now

 

[Lestat]

I know you didnt mean anything bad. And you know - anything good you see, PM with a link right away


Night now

Will do. I need to order some of the suggestions you gave me. I can see myself reading for a few hours a day for a very long time. I'll probably have to slow down on EF posting.

 

[KillahBee]

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showpost.php?p=5137273&postcount=1

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showpost.php?p=5137292&postcount=4

 

[Frisky]

Do you think people pair up to make paying bills easier or because they trully complete eachother?

That would be a real sorry reason for pairing up and would eventually end in a bitter ugly divorce.

 

[Cutiebaby]

No emotions, no headaches, no stress.

sure there is....what if you have used this nice doll for years then she suddenly pops on you? emotion, you lost her....headache-now you have no doll so you need to use your hands. stress- trying to patch the whole of looking like a tool going out and buying a new one...
see!!!!

 

[jnevin]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

Defined.

 

[swolenole]

From a married standpoint ther are many downsides to a realationship.
1. less sex
2. sex with only one person
3. less money because you have to feed,buy car,fuel car,added insurance,clothe & give cash to.
4.longer work days {see 3}
5. less freedom to do the things that you enjoy.
6. constant bitching.
7. fewer toys and things that you want for yourself {see 3}

Pros
1. being able to have a child that's not a bastard.
2. someone that gives a shit about your problems,because now they are their problems too.
3.allways someone around to keep you from being lonely.

 

[KillahBee]

Pros
1. being able to have a child that's not a bastard.
2. someone that gives a shit about your problems,because now they are their problems too.
3.allways someone around to keep you from being lonely.

IMO, this shows that swole is correct in his assumptions.

 

[foreigngirl]

From a married standpoint ther are many downsides to a realationship.
1. less sex
2. sex with only one person
3. less money because you have to feed,buy car,fuel car,added insurance,clothe & give cash to.
4.longer work days {see 3}
5. less freedom to do the things that you enjoy.
6. constant bitching.
7. fewer toys and things that you want for yourself {see 3}

Pros
1. being able to have a child that's not a bastard.
2. someone that gives a shit about your problems,because now they are their problems too.
3.allways someone around to keep you from being lonely.

dude, I feel bad for you

1. less sex - not true
2. sex with one person - thats the beauty of it
3. oh, well. Even if you have a lot of money, its still not gonna be enough
4. yes, true
5. less freedom? Depends on the wife. My husband does what he pleases and when he chooses to, regardless of what I say
6. not constant, but hey...
7. fewer toys? You kiddin me? My husband bought every single thing that he wanted





1. true
2. true
3. true

 

[swolenole]

dude, I feel bad for you

1. less sex - not true
2. sex with one person - thats the beauty of it
3. oh, well. Even if you have a lot of money, its still not gonna be enough
4. yes, true
5. less freedom? Depends on the wife. My husband does what he pleases and when he chooses to, regardless of what I say
6. not constant, but hey...
7. fewer toys? You kiddin me? My husband bought every single thing that he wanted








1. true
2. true
3. true

Just trying to keep it real...just trying to wield my e-machete and cut through the bullshit..to give a little perspective....Don't feel bad for me..I signed up for this job.

 

[Smurfy]

some sad creatures on this board. very sad.


bottom line: do what's best for you, whatever that may be.

 

[swolenole]

some sad creatures on this board. very sad.


bottom line: do what's best for you, whatever that may be.

Sad NO / Real YES.....trying to deliver clairity to the Bros that don't know.

 

[foreigngirl]

Just trying to keep it real...just trying to wield my e-machete and cut through the bullshit..to give a little perspective....Don't feel bad for me..I signed up for this job.

but, dude, not everyone has a wife that has him on lock down

 

[swolenole]

but, dude, not everyone has a wife that has him on lock down

she loves me.....knows I got mad ass game...and likes to keep an eye on me..even cries if I'm at work to long..

 

[foreigngirl]

she loves me.....knows I got mad ass game...and likes to keep an eye on me..even cries if I'm at work to long..

I dont want to be nosy, but how long have you been married? Because that sounds like me at our first 2 years together. We are going on 8 now

 

[Smurfy]

Sad NO / Real YES.....trying to deliver clairity to the Bros that don't know.

Oh i wasnt directing my post at you. im speaking in more general terms based on my observations over time of the posts on this board.

 

[swolenole]

I dont want to be nosy, but how long have you been married? Because that sounds like me at our first 2 years together. We are going on 8 now

3.5 years this time.....10 years last time...13.5 total

 

[foreigngirl]

3.5 years this time.....10 years last time...13.5 total

thats a long time...congrats. I guess then she has her own reasons to be like that. Just dont make it look like your relationship is how everyones marriage is

 

[swolenole]

thats a long time...congrats. I guess then she has her own reasons to be like that. Just dont make it look like your relationship is how everyones marriage is

sorry it was to 2 different women not the same one....she's a young girl..a bit insecure....and I'm an old G around here...I know alot of people..I bounced at a bunch of different clubs around Town for about 10 years......you meet alot of people that way and it can be intimidating for her at times..

 

[Delinquent]

thats a long time...congrats. I guess then she has her own reasons to be like that. Just dont make it look like your relationship is how everyones marriage is

exactly. My marriage has none of the restrictions that were mentioned.

This whole thread epitomizes the reason so many people are not married.

Marriage isn't about being able to buy a bigger house or be financially secure. Why would it matter if you both weren't financially secure yet? Obstacles you learn to overcome are some of the joys of being in a relationship. Could you do them by yourself? Sure but why not do with with the one you love? Dealing with life's struggles only reinforce the love that you both have for one another.

If you need two bank accounts, you obviously didn't marry the right person.

Why would you want a housewife? Do you wanna work all the time just so that your wife doesn't have to? This isn't the 50's anymore. If you wanna spend more time at work than home, have fun.

You will NEVER and I mean NEVER learn everything you can about a person without living with them for an EXTENDED period of time. It doesn't matter how much you think you know the person, it's nothing compared to living with them. Just simply knowing them in friend terms and not having a relationship is setting yourself up for disaster. This is one of the main reasons why there are so many divorces. People getting married after only knowing each other for a year. You can NEVER truly know someone in only a year. Sure you could be one of the lucky ones and find your 100% match but you won't know until a few years.

To sum up all this BS, going through life's trials and tribulations only makes for a better relationship. Once you go through life's lowest points and come out ok, both of you have this overwhelming feeling that nothing could ever come between the two of you which equals a happy marriage.

 

[dullboy]

goddamn woman, this isn't about me finding a girl.

I'm asking you people whether or not relationships are a sign of weakness for those wanting to hold hands in the deep end.

Do you think people pair up to make paying bills easier or because they trully complete eachother?

wtf?

this post comes off as selfish and immature and is classic reaction formation.

the point of male - female partnerships *marriage* is to rear and raise children, not to be some sort of new age roomies. everything before that is a process leading to that hopeful conclusion. you were placed on this earth for one reason and one reason only - to make babies.

dullboy apologizes in advance for being a little harsh with you - but maybe you should consider some sort of therapy.

 

[foreigngirl]

exactly. My marriage has none of the restrictions that were mentioned.

This whole thread epitomizes the reason so many people are not married.

Marriage isn't about being able to buy a bigger house or be financially secure. Why would it matter if you both weren't financially secure yet? Obstacles you learn to overcome are some of the joys of being in a relationship. Could you do them by yourself? Sure but why not do with with the one you love? Dealing with life's struggles only reinforce the love that you both have for one another.

If you need two bank accounts, you obviously didn't marry the right person.

Why would you want a housewife? Do you wanna work all the time just so that your wife doesn't have to? This isn't the 50's anymore. If you wanna spend more time at work than home, have fun.

You will NEVER and I mean NEVER learn everything you can about a person without living with them for an EXTENDED period of time. It doesn't matter how much you think you know the person, it's nothing compared to living with them. Just simply knowing them in friend terms and not having a relationship is setting yourself up for disaster. This is one of the main reasons why there are so many divorces. People getting married after only knowing each other for a year. You can NEVER truly know someone in only a year. Sure you could be one of the lucky ones and find your 100% match but you won't know until a few years.

To sum up all this BS, going through life's trials and tribulations only makes for a better relationship. Once you go through life's lowest points and come out ok, both of you have this overwhelming feeling that nothing could ever come between the two of you which equals a happy marriage.

exactly. My husband doesnt have any restrictions. If he doesnt know on his own what is good or bad for our marriage, than nothing can change that.

I am a housewife at the moment, but not by choice. There is nobody to watch my children the way we want them to be raised, he works long and odd hours, so I have to stay home and take care of everything. But it is much nicer if possible for the wife to go to work, cause then she gets to release all the extra energy and is less bitchy.

I agree about the 2 bank accounts. Married couples are one, so onl one bank account too.

It is much sweeter if the husband and wife build up their own financial security. Cause, maybe if the husband has done all of that on his own, without her being around, she is just gonna take it as given and not appriciate it.

 

[foreigngirl]

sorry it was to 2 different women not the same one....she's a young girl..a bit insecure....and I'm an old G around here...I know alot of people..I bounced at a bunch of different clubs around Town for about 10 years......you meet alot of people that way and it can be intimidating for her at times..

ah, there you go. Exactly what I thought. I was the same way as her the first 2-3 years. Then I realized its not worth it thining out my nerves and I let him do whatever he wanted. Then its when everything changed and he started wondering if I still love him, cause I am not calling him every hour, asking him when he is coming home and crying if he goes out without me.

 

[starfish]

I seem to have this issue where I refuse to be part of a couple simply because it makes life easier to deal with. I constantly hear people talking about going through life as a team; this instantly makes me angry. Is it wrong to see these people as weak?

Is it wrong to NOT want a relationship because I want to be completely happy, set and secure with myself (mentally and financially) before getting involved with some chick?

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find an amazing girl to share things with...when I'm set and my future is secure.

Mature opinions please.

That is not wrong at all. Every single man I have dated.....except ONE has tried to make me change who I am, my goals, my friends, my career, etc...control me in some way through ultimatiums and what not.


The one person who I can see myslef having a healthy relationship with and I admire has his own life and I have mine. We compliment each other, have fun, and its a blast caring about him.


It took me a long time to get my life where I am HAPPY with ME and that is what I offer the man I love...he can be a part of that or not.

 

[swole]

wtf?

this post comes off as selfish and immature and is classic reaction formation.

the point of male - female partnerships *marriage* is to rear and raise children, not to be some sort of new age roomies. everything before that is a process leading to that hopeful conclusion. you were placed on this earth for one reason and one reason only - to make babies.

dullboy apologizes in advance for being a little harsh with you - but maybe you should consider some sort of therapy.

It's amazing how people see and read what they want, completely missing the point trying to be made or question being asked.

Yes, our human instinct is to reproduce. Yes, humans typically find a mate to spend life with making these babies.

What I am asking you, is do you think most human relationships are fabricated by selfish needs other than TRUE, GENUINE love? Because based on your logic humans have NO emotions and simply pair up to fuck without having any type of communication (like animals). And your type of attitude is the exact reason why half of all marriages end up in divorce. We are NOT animals. We are humans, who (just in case you don't know) exhibit complex levels of communication and emotion.

So, think again and try to answer the question. Do we pair up out of weakness or do you think going through trials and tribulations with a partner (knowing it would be harder alone) trully makes us stronger?

 

[swole]

That is not wrong at all. Every single man I have dated.....except ONE has tried to make me change who I am, my goals, my friends, my career, etc...control me in some way through ultimatiums and what not.

The one person who I can see myslef having a healthy relationship with and I admire has his own life and I have mine. We compliment each other, have fun, and its a blast caring about him.

It took me a long time to get my life where I am HAPPY with ME and that is what I offer the man I love...he can be a part of that or not.

Great post! Another example of individual strength and security.

 

[starfish]

Great post! Another example of individual strength and security.

Thanks....its not always the easy road...but its brought me the most happiness in the end. I ended up resenting guys in my 20's because I gave up so much for them....but it was my choice in the end. never again.

I'm not the type a girl that has to be around a man 24/7 and I have to be able to do my own thing too.

 

[nycgirl]

So, think again and try to answer the question. Do we pair up out of weakness or do you think going through trials and tribulations with a partner (knowing it would be harder alone) trully makes us stronger?

It depends on the person. To be honest, both parts of your question represent weakness to me.

I can honestly say that most of my trial & error experiments between 18 and 22 came from weakness & insecurity. I'm not ashamed to admit that. Hindsight being 20/20, if I was stronger, I would not have put myself in those situations. It wasn't until I woke up & took time to be alone, did my later relationships come from being a more stronger (alot stronger now) and more confident person.

 

[velvett]

What I am asking you, is do you think most human relationships are fabricated by selfish needs other than TRUE, GENUINE love?

Yes, of course - we are selfish period, our goal is to survive and you can not be 100% selfless and flourish. Even if you are selfless to one person (say a mother to a child) you will end up being selfish towards someone else in your choice to be selfless. Hope that makes sense.

Do we pair up out of weakness or do you think going through trials and tribulations with a partner (knowing it would be harder alone) trully makes us stronger?

People pair up because that is what we are taught and conditioned to do, you date, you marry and you have offspring - it's what is considered normal. So if you want to say that we pair up out of weakness because we can not consider doing what is not the norm or not doing what is expected of us by our peers - then yes, people are weak.

As for being alone - it's not harder it's actually easier if your motivation towards sharing your life with someone is not only for selfish gain or convenience but I don't know many people that have truly been 100% responsible for themselves as an adult for a significant period of time.