Probs with the gf-

[hardrock]

So I've been dating this girl for a little over 2 months. No majors issues and not crazy. The thing is, she hadn't been in a LTR in a few years and got really used to her independence.

So New Years we have plans to get dressed up and go out and meet up with a few of her friends later. At dinner I ask her how long she wants to hang out there and she tells me until her friend calls her. This irked me just a bit, then I find out we're waiting on her so we can pick her up and cart her ass around as well. We get in a bit of a fight because I thought the night was about us, and was starting to realize it was more about her friend. I can't stand her friend BTW. She'sa a sloppy drunk and rude as hell. So after a good talk, we change into more comfortable clothes and head out to meet them. I felt like the 3rd wheel. The night ended ok and we moved on.

Tonight we had plans to hang out after I got off work. She was gonna come over and model her new Vickis secret stuff she got for me. We were thinking about heading to the bar for a few as well. She gets here and tells me that her same friend is meeting us at the bar. My reaction was "if we go to the bar". She says she is going and wants me to come with. I say no and she goes anyway.

Am I outta line in being pissed/hurt by this? We had no issues with this until recently. I am moving in 3 weeks and am trying to spend as much time with her as possible before I leave. She is planning on following me out when her lease expires in april, so now is not the best time to be getting into shit.

We are also heading to the Twin Cities tomorrow for 4 days, and i don't wanna get into shit before we go.

I really like this girl, but I feel she has no consideration for me when it comes to things like this.

Thoughts?

 

[Sub-Zero]

shes cheating on u probably

 

[silent says]

Does she know you dont like her friend?

 

[hardrock]

shes cheating on u probably

Funny. I have no doubt in her faithfulness. She is the most honest person I know. Probably too honest. That's why this bothers me so much. We get along better than any girl I have ever dated and have the most fun together. I love this girl and could seriously see spending a long period of my life with her.

 

[hardrock]

Does she know you dont like her friend?

Not totally. I have said things that would elude to that, but don't wanna talk too much shit about someone i barely know. This is her best friend and she gets very defensive.

 

[silent says]

Some girls just want to get a reaction.Just to see how serious you are,see if you are going to follow.I would probably wait for her to call even though you want to talk.I woldnt play no game but I would play her stiff just to let her know you dont appreciate how the plans were you two and she brings her.

 

[jestro]

have a 3sum, it'll bring yall closer together.

 

[javaguru]

If it ain't working than you need to find a common ground or dump her if she's unreasonable...

 

[silent says]

nicely put Java

 

[velvett]

she's just not that into you

sorry

 

[EnderJE]

Here's a crazy idea. Talk to her about it. If you don't like the answers, get rid of her.

 

[hardrock]

We do talk about it and she always admits that she was not thinking of me. Until the next time. This has only happened 2 times in 10 weeks, so i'm not that worried about it.

And Velvett- she is totally into me. She comes over the minute I get home, which I love, and we truley enjoy each other.

This friend of hers is rarely available, so when she is, it's like she comes first and that pisses me off. And I moght be a bit greedy. i am out of my comfort zone as far as home state. i don't know many people, so I rely on her, but lately have made an effort to spend time with her and her friends. I just can't stand this one.

 

[EnderJE]

You're right. Have her killed.

 

[javaguru]

Just sayin'...talking to your wiminz isn't a bad choice...

 

[Sub-Zero]

Funny. I have no doubt in her faithfulness. She is the most honest person I know. Probably too honest. That's why this bothers me so much. We get along better than any girl I have ever dated and have the most fun together. I love this girl and could seriously see spending a long period of my life with her.

it sounds like she just doesnt care about anything

 

[hardrock]

it sounds like she just doesnt care about anything

For the most part I have to disagree, but at times, that's exactly what it feels like.

She's on her way here now. gots ta go. I'll let yall know when i know more.

Night my fellow mf'in ef'ers!

 

[HAYEZ]

u been dating 2 months...you cant expect her to drop all her friends and see u everyday..if the shoe was on the other foot and she was complaning you were meetin your boy at the bar and not spending time with her alone you would dump her....you thnking you love her is more like lust...you dont even know her yet within 2 months...sorry if that was blunt

 

[FriendlyCanadian]

We do talk about it and she always admits that she was not thinking of me. Until the next time. This has only happened 2 times in 10 weeks, so i'm not that worried about it.

And Velvett- she is totally into me. She comes over the minute I get home, which I love, and we truley enjoy each other.

This friend of hers is rarely available, so when she is, it's like she comes first and that pisses me off. And I moght be a bit greedy. i am out of my comfort zone as far as home state. i don't know many people, so I rely on her, but lately have made an effort to spend time with her and her friends. I just can't stand this one.

You should respect that then.. she said she wanted you to come..

It's obviously someone she cares about, especially if she is rarely available and they hang out when they get the chance. Everyone needs space every once in a while. but yeah what that other guy said.. what if it was with one of your boys? I mean you see this girl everyday for 10 weeks.. and you get upset that she wants to see her friend for two of em?

I think you're being a bit unreasonable.. if this other girl shows up in the twin cities with ya, then you got a problem!

 

[string_bean00]

it's only been two months, you have to relax a bit

 

[ceo]

the last 3 posters are right on. And...you need some of YOUR OWN FRIENDS to hang out with...with OR without her. You're sounding pretty clingy here bro. Chicks do not dig that at all. You should have your own life like she has her own life.

Hardrock, I love you bro, but you get too sprung on the pussy too soon. Seems you're always getting upset about girls and heartbroken eventually. There's a lot more out there where she came from and I guarantee you there's someone better than her too.

You don't have any friends there? None from work? The gym? Anywhere? Better make some soon. Even if you're leaving town, go out to a happy hour with people from work, I'm sure people go out to happy hour at least once a week. Then you'll be able to meet up with some of your friends or you'll have to either pass on hanging out with her one night or meet up with her later because you're busy. You'll move up a little on the priority list the more you do that.

 

[shrimp poboy]

Call her alot less

 

[nimbus]

so basically you have a gf who does her own thing and never nags you? you poor thing, better dump her before she starts giving you blowjobs every day

 

[txbondsman]

the problem as I see it has a couple of points that I'd like to make. I don't know her, but she MAY have a problem saying "no" to her friend, especially if her friend is the kind who just expects her to say yes. Another thing, if your in a committed relationship, it seems that yall are hanging out at bars alot. Why not do more "couple" related things and save the clubbing for an occasional weekend. Movies, at home or out, ball games if she's willing to go, whatever yalls interests are. Her friend seems to be going to the bars, if your not, that would solve the problem if seems.

 

[ponyfitness]

Easy fix.

Become really good friends with her friend and flirt with her a bit. Not enough to make anyone uncomfortable but enough to maybe make her jealous a bit. Suddenly this friend will not be around as much anymore.

And I agree with the not going to bars comment. If you were going to a concert, picnic, etc her friend would totally feel like a third wheel because it is a couples thing to do.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Easy fix.

Become really good friends with her friend and flirt with her a bit. Not enough to make anyone uncomfortable but enough to maybe make her jealous a bit. Suddenly this friend will not be around as much anymore.

And I agree with the not going to bars comment. If you were going to a concert, picnic, etc her friend would totally feel like a third wheel because it is a couples thing to do.

agreed. i know alot of girls that hate their best friends for liking their boyfriends hehe

 

[Thandie]

she's just not that into you

sorry

+1

 

[jnevin]

so basically you have a gf who does her own thing and never nags you? you poor thing, better dump her before she starts giving you blowjobs every day

lmfao

 

[musclemom]

So when a girl treats you the way most guys around here treat women you don't like it and it hurts your feelings? Oh the irony. Why oh why don't we have a smiley that is laughing so hard it holds its stomach and falls to the ground?

You're moving in three weeks, so will that turn the relationship into long distance? Sounds like she doesn't have hope of a future in the relationship and is trying to distance herself emotionally so it doesn't hurt so badly when you eventually dump her for someone local.

 

[Sub-Zero]

So when a girl treats you the way most guys around here treat women you don't like it and it hurts your feelings? Oh the irony. Why oh why don't we have a smiley that is laughing so hard it holds its stomach and falls to the ground?

You're moving in three weeks, so will that turn the relationship into long distance? Sounds like she doesn't have hope of a future in the relationship and is trying to distance herself emotionally so it doesn't hurt so badly when you eventually dump her for someone local.

dont be a manhater! everyone needs somethign different, and everyone acts different. some men act like that, some women act like that.

its not necesarily a bad thing, its just personality.

if people need the cutsey-cuddlpie-huggie-snuggie-lovey-poo all the time, they should date someone like that.

they shouldnt hold it against the other partner for not being that kinda persoN!

 

[musclemom]

dont be a manhater! everyone needs somethign different, and everyone acts different. some men act like that, some women act like that.

its not necesarily a bad thing, its just personality.

if people need the cutsey-cuddlpie-huggie-snuggie-lovey-poo all the time, they should date someone like that.

they shouldnt hold it against the other partner for not being that kinda persoN!

Sub, you know good and well I'm far from a man hater, I'm just appreciative of the ironic twist, what harm in that

 

[velvett]

I like how all the women think in one way and all the men in another (for the most part).

Good Luck either way.

 

[Razorguns]

3some

3some

3some

r

 

[hardrock]

We'll we worked shit out. She went with me to the TC for the 4 day weekend and we had a blast. She's really a lot of fun.

As far as the frinds thing goes, I don't care if she spends time with them. Not in the least. it's when we have plans together and all the sudden she tells me last minute that the friend is going with or meeting us there. Doesn't bother asking me if I'm cool with it. i mean If I made plans with her and a friend wanted to tag along I would definitely ask her before I told them yes. i mean WE had plans.

And she doesn't really seem to be able to say no to this friend in particular. On a side note, she used to work with this chick and they became really good friends through working together for a couple years. My problem is this friend encourages my gf to get loaded on worknight and cart her ass around drunk. On New Years, she was trying to force feed my gf shots while my gf was telling her no I have to drive home.

Anyway. things are good for now. I took her to St. Cloud while we were in the Twin Cities and showed her the apartment. We had a good talk on the 5+ hr drive home too. We're gonna give it our best shot at the long distance thing.

 

[goin on 4T]

My GF was like that in the begining. I felt she would at times rather spend time with her friends than with me, or atleast just want me on call. I would say you should play it cool, don't be a controlling guy. Go out with your friends when she has plans with her friends. I have been with this girl now for 2 years. She rocks. Remember you have only been seeing each other for 2 months. How long has she had this friend? How old is she? Are you really ready for a LTR?

 

[hardrock]

She's had this friend about 3 years. My gf is 33(I'm 32) her friend is 27 or 28. And yes i am ready for a LTR, she says she is too. This friend is the only one i have a problem with. I like or am willing to get to know the others, but this one is just trash IMO.

 

[goin on 4T]

Well than leave her alone, first of all you don't want to be the cause of her loosing a friend. If she is trash don't worry she will fall in her own hole, fall in it and won't be a part of her life long. Trash always does. My X wife had some crazy friend that would put panties in our house when we weren't there so the X would think I was cheating on her. Like I would bang some broad in our house! LOL She didn't like us together her friend finally found some guy and got pregnant, etc...
And don't push the relationship thing. Let go at a slow pace if you really want it to last. Do either of you have kids?

 

[hardrock]

Let go at a slow pace if you really want it to last. Do either of you have kids?

No kids. I have decided to slow down a bit on my part and see how she reacts. And by slow down, I simply mean not always asking her to do stuff and see if she starts.