post up your best jokes

[*The_West*]

this is my favourite, not only because it is hilarious, but you could tell it to grandma over a sunday lunch.
an englishman, an irishman and a chinese man are looking for work. they go to the local building site to see if there is anything going. the foreman says "yeah, i got a bit of work you can do-see that massive pile of dirt (points to big pile of dirt) i want it moving over there (points to empty space)."
he says to the englishman "ok mate, you are in charge of the hard work, its your job to actually move the dirt"
he says to the irishman "you are in charge of the whole operation, the supervisor, if you like"
he says to the chinese man "and you are in charge of the supplies for the job, ok?" chinese man says "yes, i in charge of supplies"
so the foreman says "i have to go take care of something, i will be back in 2 hours, and when i am, i want to see half of this dirt moved, ok?"
so he goes away and comes back in 2 hours, but when he returns he sees the dirt hasnt even been touched.
he sees the englishman and the irishman standing by the dirt and asks them "what the fuck, i said i wanted half of this dirt moved by the time i got back, whats going on?"
the englishman says "well you know that chinese guy, he was meant to bring us our supplies, but he just disappeared and we cant find him"
so the foreman says "right im going to find and sack that little fucker" and walks round the side of the pile of dirt
all of a sudden, the chineseman jumps out from behind the pile of dirt and yells "SUPPLIES!!!!"

 

[Smurfy]

What's the difference between jelly and jam???










































I can't jelly my cock up your ass.

 

[*The_West*]

What's the difference between jelly and jam?








































I can't jelly my cock up your ass.

you could give it a good try though!
no lol, i like it. i wont try telling it to grandma over sunday lunch though.

 

[Smurfy]

well in all honesty, my brother told me that joke this weekend. he prefaced it with "i know youre my sister and all but this is a good one so Ill tell it anyway"

 

[dabuffguy]

KY JELLY works pretty damn good, so PICK3 tells me.

 

[*The_West*]

KY JELLY works pretty damn good, so PICK3 tells me.

ah, so you could "jelly" your cock up someone's arse?

 

[*The_West*]

Post More Jokes!!!

 

[GUARDIAN]

There were three guys trying out for the CIA. All of them were in one room with the Director and outside this one room were three smaller rooms that the men had seen on their way in. The Director stands up to talk to the men and says, 'The CIA is a very select group. You have passed all of your other tests, but there is one final test you must pass before you can come work for me. Did any of you see the three rooms outside this room on your way in?' The three men nod. 'Inside each room are your wives. The final test you must pass before you will be allowed to join the CIA is one of devotion and loyalty. One by one I want you men to go into the rooms your wife is in and I want you to kill your wife.'

"The Director picks one of the men and tells him that his wife is in the room with the big roman numeral I on it. He nods silently and takes the gun from the Director and walks out. A few minutes later, he comes back in and hands the gun to the Director. 'I can't do it,' he says. 'She was my high school sweetheart and I cannot kill her, no matter what.'

"The Director tells him to leave and never come back. He hands the gun to the second man, who takes it and walks to the room with the roman numeral II on it, as he is told. A few minutes later he returns and is in tears. 'Mr. Director, I am sorry, but I can not do what you ask. As much as I want to work for the CIA, I cannot kill my wife. She is my sole support and I need her.'

"He tells the man to be gone and hands the gun to the third man. After telling him that he could be his deputy director if he accomplishes the task, the man nods and leaves the room. Shortly after the Director hears the door with the roman numeral III shut, he hears the gunfire. Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam. And then there is silence for a few seconds. Immediately following the silence, he hears a loud commotion and some screaming. He hears what he thinks is furniture being overturned and items being broken, but he does not want to interrupt. This goes on for ten minutes and then the noise dies out completely, interrupted by silence. After a minute of silence, the man emerges and the Director asks him what the hell was going on in there. The man said, 'You mistakenly put blanks in the gun, so I had to strangle the bitch'"

 

[*The_West*]

guardian, that was fawking hilarious!
keep it coming guys and girls

 

[*The_West*]

come on, there is that many wisecracking mofo's around here, i thought we would at least be on page 3 by now!