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PCT and very depressed. When will it end...

S

singletonin2013

New member
Hey guys I am 25 and I ran my first 10 week test-e cycle and shot HCG the last 4 weeks leading up to day 1 of the PCT. I than ran Nolva for 10 days at 40 mgs and now have been on 20 mgs for 4 days. I dropped to 20 mgs because I was convinced it was giving me severe mood swings. Which I used xanax for and it helped. Im using Unleashed and some tribulus as well. Im just down in the dumps. Im consumed by the depression and feel its never going to go away. I have a history of depression and see a therapist and take a low dose of cymbalta which im going to bump up a bit. My balls are fully recovered and I can ejaculate with a soft erection and the libido is down. I am training and have seen very little lose of strength.

Im just consumed and worried that its not going to get better soon because im doing this alone.
 
I wish I could help you single, I just dont know about this depression. But do know that my thoughts are with you. Also you might try St Johns Wort, just a thought.
My best to you good bro.
Z
 
I had a feeling this was going to happen. So I decided to schedule a trip home to be with family for this part unfortunately its just been an annoyance. I go home to LA on Wednesday, theres just not much there waiting for me. Ive been unemployed for awhile and dont have many friends but im going to try my best. Its not like I havent dealt with spells of depression like this before. I have great family support just not in town. I just knew the problem that caused it then. The uncertainty of the new cause of low test or hormonal imbalance and the chance its not going to get better is just killing me.
 
Everyones a bit different, could take 4 weeks to bounce back could take 14. Personally if you have known depression/anxiety issues I recommend against AAS use for this very reason. Even when your natty levels come back you will still feel no where near as good as when on cycle. Its a real mind fuck and hard to handle with no mental illness.
 
I didnt feel amazing on the cycle but I felt ok. I actually had a few days with the blues which I actually attributed to a high dose of adex.

I hadnt had a problem in years so I thought I was stable enough for a light cycle. I had done my research for close to a year. I probably wont cycle again.
 
Sorry to here your situation bro. I've had simalar bouts before! I have honestly found that ephedrine helps put me in a better mood, not sure why. Also, I would advise getting your blood work checked to see where your hormones really are. There is a post here where u can get it done for around $50... I wish you the best man and keep us up on how u are.
 
Thank you for sharing your story.

It's important for people in situations similar to yours to have access to these kinds of stories.

Regarding the depression; stay positive. The body always strives for balance and your hormone levels will return to normal.

However, it is impossible to fully know how drugs will affect each individual, especially when multiple drugs are being used.

I strongly recommend you consult with a knowledgeable & experienced endocrinologist in order to discuss how your other medications factor in to this.

Medication for depression is in reality treatment of the symptoms, not the disease.

You may in fact decide to reduce or eliminate your medication usage altogether. Be sure to do so properly under the guidance and care of a physician.
 
singletonin2013 said:
I also wanted to know if there were any signs I can look for that my test is recovering?
Click to expand...

Test is largely responsible for feelings of wellbeing but how you feel (or the stiffness of your erection, or the size of your balls) is anything but an accurate method. The only real way is to get some blood work done.

The minds a powerful thing, most people who are comfortable using AAS generally feel pretty good on test once their hormone levels level out. It can be a bit of an emotional ride until they do and post cycle.

People who are using illegally and hiding their use may feel guilt or anxiety of getting caught which can override the sense of wellbeing that is often felt.

The dosages and AAS you use also factor into it. Also singletonin2013, im not belittling you for trying AAS. I know a lot of people dont feel the same way I do about it but if someone came to me and asked if they should use them and told me they had a history of depression I would recommend they avoid them simply because the hormonal fluctuations make life tough and for people with problems its just that much tougher.

Stay positive, it will pass, just give it some time.
 
FACT: it can take months to recover from a cycle. my last injection was 4th of July and my test levels are still at 119. and i ran a 12 week cycle, not like I ran a 20 weeker. and I'm on my 3rd PCT.

OPINION: my friend you should not be on AAS if you have depression already unless its stricly monitored by an endoc AND you already have low test. too many hormonal changes. not everyone can handle this. I went thru a lot the past couple months with low test you have no idea, but I can handle it and I still am a very happy person even with the low test.

SOLUTION: you need to run blood tests to see where your levels are. and if you are gonna combine xanax and every other medication under the sun with steroids keep in mind you are playing russian roullete with your health. you are young and my best guess based on what you said you are looking at 4 months to recover.. and probably 6 months to fully recover
 
I mean its been 10 days since I really felt a crash... I still can get out of this right? I will get a blood test in about a month can anyone point me in the direction of a good test I saw a previous post say there was on for 50 bucks?

Well I just took a long drive and sat in the sun for awhile and drank a red bull feeling ok right now.
 
red bull? and you wonder why you have anxiety. stick to water and fresh juice. lose the energy drinks.. its all sugar and caffeine.

if you want to cycle steroids you are gonna have to deal with the recovery phase. as said earlier everyone is different.. some guys bounce back fast, others take time. the only thing you can do is mantain ur gains and run a PCT. the human body is wonderful and will start generating test.. it just takes time.

and you want to do total testosterone and you can do free testosterone also. bound vs. unbound if you are curious.
 
I appreciate the input it was just a half a can... something to get me out of bed this sunday.

Me constantly searching forums on other peoples pct problems is not helping either.

Im just going to realize im not going to die and tough this out.

Maybe this has something to do with estrogen?? My face feels a little bloated today, it may just be because im eating a lot of carbs though. I have no appetite and im not sweating much in the gym. However Im forcing myself to eat and chugging protein shakes and I can get myself in the gym, it truly is my therapy.
 
singletonin2013 said:
I appreciate the input it was just a half a can... something to get me out of bed this sunday.

Me constantly searching forums on other peoples pct problems is not helping either.

Im just going to realize im not going to die and tough this out.

Maybe this has something to do with estrogen?? My face feels a little bloated today, it may just be because im eating a lot of carbs though. I have no appetite and im not sweating much in the gym. However Im forcing myself to eat and chugging protein shakes and I can get myself in the gym, it truly is my therapy.
Click to expand...

your not gonna die. ur body stopped producing its own test, but now that your esthers cleared it will figure out it needs to start producing test again. everyday you will improve. in the future i highly recommend staying away from steroids, consider this a scare and move on.
 
Are you taking anything for estrogen control?
If not, your estrogen levels may have bounced up some, especially with serm use.

Look into HCGenerate; I have heard it works miracles on all sorts of sticky situations such as mood, energy, libido and test levels etc..
Also look into forma stanzol, which is an estrogen reducer with phtyo serms.

Both of those combined may help you, especially if the problem has to do with recovery.
 
Gamer2Be08 said:
Are you taking anything for estrogen control?
If not, your estrogen levels may have bounced up some, especially with serm use.

Look into HCGenerate; I have heard it works miracles on all sorts of sticky situations such as mood, energy, libido and test levels etc..
Also look into forma stanzol, which is an estrogen reducer with phtyo serms.

Both of those combined may help you, especially if the problem has to do with recovery.
Click to expand...

you think throwing in a low dose of an AI could help like Aromasin? I mean my face is bloated again...
 
I recommend meditation my friend, it has helped me tremendously, as the matter of fact it makes all the difference in my life, I don't mean anything too complicated, just pretty much, close the door, turn down the light, close your eyes and clear your mind, the trick at the beginning is that you can't stop thinking, and if you tell yourself to stop thinking, then hey, you're thinking!! Clearing your head is key at the beginning, then you can move on to other forms of meditation, it is difficult at the beginning as anything else, but with about a month of practice you'll be a pro, you will be able to close your eyes anywhere and enter into a small trance where you clear your head and only think positive, great things of how you want your life to be, I understand this sounds weird to a lot of people, I know there is so much taboo involved in all this, specially for those whom have been diagnosed with clinical depression, but the one typing this used to be severely depressed for so long it got to the point that I was convinced that I would have to get used to living life in those conditions and had very negative thoughts about it, not anymore, not at all, not even a little bit, I've done 5 cycles so far and only equipoise gives me anxiety but again, I recognize where is coming from and stop the process on the spot, but I still try to keep equipoise to a minimum (don't wanna tempt the devil, namean??), only reason I am taking the time to write this and don't really care about what people say is because I understand what you are going through and in my case, single, I was open to any and every suggestion anyone gave me to get through that hell my life was, boy am I glad I listened. Good Luck!!
 
GrownUp said:
I recommend meditation my friend, it has helped me tremendously, as the matter of fact it makes all the difference in my life, I don't mean anything too complicated, just pretty much, close the door, turn down the light, close your eyes and clear your mind, the trick at the beginning is that you can't stop thinking, and if you tell yourself to stop thinking, then hey, you're thinking!! Clearing your head is key at the beginning, then you can move on to other forms of meditation, it is difficult at the beginning as anything else, but with about a month of practice you'll be a pro, you will be able to close your eyes anywhere and enter into a small trance where you clear your head and only think positive, great things of how you want your life to be, I understand this sounds weird to a lot of people, I know there is so much taboo involved in all this, specially for those whom have been diagnosed with clinical depression, but the one typing this used to be severely depressed for so long it got to the point that I was convinced that I would have to get used to living life in those conditions and had very negative thoughts about it, not anymore, not at all, not even a little bit, I've done 5 cycles so far and only equipoise gives me anxiety but again, I recognize where is coming from and stop the process on the spot, but I still try to keep equipoise to a minimum (don't wanna tempt the devil, namean??), only reason I am taking the time to write this and don't really care about what people say is because I understand what you are going through and in my case, single, I was open to any and every suggestion anyone gave me to get through that hell my life was, boy am I glad I listened. Good Luck!!
Click to expand...

Im actually in psycotherapy man. A little hookie but I always come out relaxed!
 
Im thinking about ordering some Aromasin right now and throwing a low dose of that in. Good idea? or no? I really dont want to start adding anymore compounds. Just keep the nolva going at 20 mg i guess
 
As menetioned in the sticky, PCT isn;t a sure-fire thing. And if you do it half-assd you can't expect much. UNLEASHED is just one PART of PCT. It gives you the most FReeT possible, but if your HPTA isn;t producing anything, that won't make much of a difference.

I'm not a big fan of Tribulus, unless it's the bulgarian.

All in all, it takes time. Recovery is all about not abusing the cycle, not doing to much or the wrong compounds and implementing PROPER PCT. It isn't just taking a few pills and expecting to be 100% right away.

Give it time.
 
I suffer from depression and it does get nasty for about a week during my PCT.

It may be your PCT.

What I do is run HCG M and Th after my last shot for two week. I then start clomid 50ED for for 4 and some supplements like Unleashed. Nolva is good but I do not like using it in isolation. Everythign I have read, including talks I have had with HRT docs, states that HCG is a necessity for PCT, that is why I use it. (I also use it 500ius during the cycle on Monday and Thurs).

Other supplements that have helped are 5HTP. St. Johns Wart takes about 30 days to kick in so if you use that in conjunction with AAS start using St. Johns wart at least 30 days before you end your cycle.

I also use other supplements during PCT. Like phosphatidyl syrine for cortisol control and Vitamin D. Also I use some nootropics like Piracetam, choline bitarate and vincopitine. These supplements have some ancillary benefits by increasing mental cognition and blood flow to the brain etc. Also take fish oil. That has cognitive benefits. Play around with the nootropics and the dosages. They have different effects on each of us.

Stay active, stay away from activities that increase or trigger depression, and try to keep a positive attitude.
 
singletonin2013 said:
Im thinking about ordering some Aromasin right now and throwing a low dose of that in. Good idea? or no? I really dont want to start adding anymore compounds. Just keep the nolva going at 20 mg i guess
Click to expand...

Yes, 12.5mg ED of aromasin would be beneficial.
Should help stimulate some LH, lower estro and increase total test.
 
You could invest in some MJ and cruise through PCT in happiness...
 
singletonin2013 said:
ive got a support system in place. Like ive been saying. I even have a date lined up for the end of the week.

Today I feel a little better, but the workout was extremely hard to get through. Im going to tell my therapist about what I did today also.
Click to expand...

cool just dont mention to your date you are on steroids or you are on anti-depressents. not a good subject for a first date.

be happy on the date
 
ive got a support system in place. Like ive been saying. I even have a date lined up for the end of the week.

Today I feel a little better, but the workout was extremely hard to get through. Im going to tell my therapist about what I did today also.
 
sahooq said:
im shocked no one mentioned the obvious?! anti depressants will make it impossible to get a stiff boner period. and your deppression is caused by not having freinds etc..... like u mentioned yourself . you brother are confused your pct has nothing to do with your deppresive state of mind
Click to expand...

Yep. I missed that post. But anti d's are dick killers for sure.
 
wow it feels a lot better to tell someone what I did, and am going through. Even if it was on the phone.

Id like to think im pulling out of this already as today has been a pretty good day even if back day wasnt to intense.

I even just had the urge to rub one out.
 
zedhed said:
I wish I could help you single, I just dont know about this depression. But do know that my thoughts are with you. Also you might try St Johns Wort, just a thought.
My best to you good bro.
Z
Click to expand...
using st johns wort with xanax isnt a good idea , i have a history of depression as soon as i started aas i feel cured - even when off - none of the ssri type meds never helped me as much as low dose test does - just remember - it will get better
 
pretty crazy how much better I feel today. I got hope guys! Ive actually decided im going to go back to school for a second degree and as well rescue a dog. Time to make changes.
 
my face is bloated as hell... my estrogen has got to be high again. Aromasin should be here wednesday.

hopefully i wake up feeling even better I go home Wednesday.
 
todays been rough so far mentally.

Serious drag at the gym but still not much strength loss just less intensity.

I go home tomorrow and see my therapist at night. Hopefully it gets better.
 
singletonin2013 said:
todays been rough so far mentally.

Serious drag at the gym but still not much strength loss just less intensity.

I go home tomorrow and see my therapist at night. Hopefully it gets better.
Click to expand...

Start running bro and do a long run every other day! It sounds like your depression needs to be dealt with before anything so running will pump your endorphins which will make you feel happy and complete. If you don't wanna run then go to the gym, fight the urge to wanna slack and lift weights until you wanna hurl. After youre done you will have a buzz that is fulfilling and a lot better than the antidepressants you are taking. :)
 
let me just say these mood swings you are having intraday have nothing to do with your steroid cycle. if you are that sensitive to intraday swings in testosterone/estrogen etc. then your problems are mental.

you need to look into yoga, or like posted above me.. long runs to sweat out all that crap out of the body. start thinking positively and stop thinking its not normal to have a bad day. we all have bad things happen to us, that is life. until you figure out its OKAY to have ups and downs you will never be happy. we live in an overdrugged society.. have a bad day? get wasted.. cant get it up ? take a drug...

there are better ways to solve thse problems besides more drugs. sounds like you are just blaming things on steroids and its an easy cop out.
 
well all I can assume is my body is trying to find its equilibrium and its giving me some more depression sides since its already an underlying condition.

I just need to give my mind a break and realize im going to recover.
 
Also I wasnt using an AI with the HCG at the end of the cycle! I was very bloated so I went into the PCT with that... Maybe my estrogen is just insanely high right now because of that. My face is bloated as shit right now. Aromasin will be at my door tomorrow. Im hoping a week of that could solve some of these issues!

lol I just cried over some stupid shit, im convinced the estrogen is out of control. Im gonna front load the Aromasin tomorrow and get this shit taken care of.
 
Last edited:
sahooq said:
u seem to be turning into a homosexaul give me your address so i can give you a back rub
Click to expand...

wtf... Last cycle the same shit happen to me. I took that poison shit called Clomid and it made me emotional as fug! It happens to a lot of people coming off cycle and trying to recover.
 
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