parents, let me get your advice here.

[stilleto]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

 

[cindylou]

Well (and this is just my opinion) she is old enough to make her own friends untill she actually GETS into trouble with the girl

My parents tried to tell me I couldnt be friends with a girl like that when I was 15 and it made me obsessed to hang out with her. And I did. It made the girl seem that much more cool.

EDIT. She's only 13? I would say you could probably tell her who to hang out with still.......

 

[chris302001]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

wow....

 

[stilleto]

Well (and this is just my opinion) she is old enough to make her own friends untill she actually GETS into trouble with the girl

My parents tried to tell me I couldnt be friends with a girl like that when I was 15 and it made me obsessed to hang out with her. And I did. It made the girl seem that much more cool.

EDIT. She's only 13? I would say you could probably tell her who to hang out with still.......

lol... i know it's a tough call here.
I don't want to tell her she can't hang out with this girl, since my own daughter is the one that told me about her. but i really don't want her influenced by any of it.
i mean, my girl is smart and i think she's level headed, and she has a good home, but at 13, they are easily influenced. If she's over there and her friend says, "hey, i got alcohol. lets get drunk." i don't know if my daughter would say, "no. i'm going home" like i'd want her to.

 

[chris302001]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

Here's my take on it, not a parent, but oh well.


I think your daughter probably has a good enough head on her shoulders that she wouldnt want to hang out with this girl. However, if she did want to hang out with her, I dont think it is beneficial to go ahead and let her hang out with this girl until she gets in trouble, because its certain she will. Maybe not because she would do something wrong, but she'll inevitably get in trouble b/c of something the other chick did. Guilty by association.

 

[stilleto]

Here's my take on it, not a parent, but oh well.


I think your daughter probably has a good enough head on her shoulders that she wouldnt want to hang out with this girl. However, if she did want to hang out with her, I dont think it is beneficial to go ahead and let her hang out with this girl until she gets in trouble, because its certain she will. Maybe not because she would do something wrong, but she'll inevitably get in trouble b/c of something the other chick did. Guilty by association.

oh, i agree it's not a good idea, but after my own daughter told me all of that stuff, is it now good for me to turn around and say "i don't want you being friends with her."

btw, she hasn't asked if she could go over there since she told me all of this, but it will happen. "Krista" is clingy. Its selfish of me, but i'm hoping that my daughter and her other friends continue to be unimpressed by Krista's actions as a group. i mean, i'd hate for this girl to be shunned, but i'd secretly be happy that it wouldn't be an issue for her to influence my kid.

 

[chris302001]

oh, i agree it's not a good idea, but after my own daughter told me all of that stuff, is it now good for me to turn around and say "i don't want you being friends with her."

btw, she hasn't asked if she could go over there since she told me all of this, but it will happen. "Krista" is clingy. Its selfish of me, but i'm hoping that my daughter and her other friends continue to be unimpressed by Krista's actions as a group. i mean, i'd hate for this girl to be shunned, but i'd secretly be happy that it wouldn't be an issue for her to influence my kid.

I dont know if I would flat out say, you cant hang out with her, but I would sit down with her and say, "look, here's what is going to happen if you do...." List the possibilities... Especially the fact that she can and probably will get into trouble because of something Krista does, not b/c of something she does. I dont know your daughter but I have a good feeling that would be the scenario.

My best friend all through grade school was sorta like that. I dont know what "went wrong" but in 7th grade, all of a sudden he started hanging out with these other doodes, drinking, smoking weed, stealing and shit. I stopped hanging out with him. I'm sooo glad I did. The doodes be arrested for armed robbery, drug trafficking, all kinds of shit.

It sucked losing my best friend, but even then it was an easy decision. And it sounds like Krista isnt even that good of a friend in the first place, so I don't think it will be too big of a deal for your daughter.

 

[stilleto]

I dont know if I would flat out say, you cant hang out with her, but I would sit down with her and say, "look, here's what is going to happen if you do...." List the possibilities... Especially the fact that she can and probably will get into trouble because of something Krista does, not b/c of something she does. I dont know your daughter but I have a good feeling that would be the scenario.

My best friend all through grade school was sorta like that. I dont know what "went wrong" but in 7th grade, all of a sudden he started hanging out with these other doodes, drinking, smoking weed, stealing and shit. I stopped hanging out with him. I'm sooo glad I did. The doodes be arrested for armed robbery, drug trafficking, all kinds of shit.

It sucked losing my best friend, but even then it was an easy decision. And it sounds like Krista isnt even that good of a friend in the first place, so I don't think it will be too big of a deal for your daughter.

It probably won't be, but 13 year old girls are dramatic. Everyone is their best friend.
maybe my daughter told me all of that, knowing she probably wouldn't then turn around and ask to hang out with her.

btw, Krista's mother (who's name is WANDA) is one of those women who has completely given up on her looks. She's my age with a huge gut, stretchy pants, Disney t-shirt, frizzy mullet, cigarette hanging out of her mouth all the time. her kid never had a chance.

 

[BBR100]

Sounds like your daughter has her head together. You two obviously have a good relationship for her to come to you with this info. Krista's gonna have trouble but I think your daughter's aware of that. You can't demand she not see Krista. I'd keep a close eye on the relationship but wouldn't be overly worried.

 

[billfred]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

Your daughter is telling you all this so you will say - "Stop hanging out with Krista". She is wanting parental supervision and an excuse to distance herself from the ho.

Come thru for her.

 

[digimon7068]

sure. . .you raised a good kid. . .keep an eye on her, but, yeah, sure. . .like krista, you were a little "different" when you were growing up (as was i). . .also, i believe you to be a great mom. . .and this kid definitely needs some guidance. . .maybe she'll find it in your home if she's spending time with your daughter???

 

[stilleto]

Your daughter is telling you all this so you will say - "Stop hanging out with Krista". She is wanting parental supervision and an excuse to distance herself from the ho.

Come thru for her.

hmm. good point.
thanks.

i think that when it comes up, i won't say no, but i will put some restrictions on it (like no sleepovers).

 

[cindylou]

it sounds like you and your daughter have a good relationship with good communication. All good things!

 

[stosstruppe]

Can't you just drop Krista's family on social services' radar for the lols, I mean as an uh, concerned parent?

 

[nydj66]

hmm. good point.
thanks.

i think that when it comes up, i won't say no, but i will put some restrictions on it (like no sleepovers).

As the father of a 12-year-old boy I think this is the wisest decision.

The older a child gets the more independence you have to give them. Make sure she understands the risks of Krista's behavior but make it clear that you trust your daughter.

It's absolutely appropriate to not let your daughter spend the night in that environment as well as any other restrictions that ensure your daughter's safety. As long as your daughter keeps her head on straight, all you need to do is keep the lines of communication open and help guide her behavior.

Is she does betray your trust at any point, then it's time to tighten the screws.

 

[Dial_tone]

Trust your daughter to recognize a train wreck.

 

[myway]

it sounds like you and your daughter have a good relationship with good communication. All good things!

Agreed. And letto, your daughter might take it as you don't trust her if you think she needs to stop being around thins girl.
I would tell her that you trust she won't this girl get her into trouble. After that, she would have an even harder time letting you down in such a way.

 

[-SD-]

invite krista over for dinner and put arsenic in her drink. problem solved.

 

[nefertiti]

I personally think that if she is mature enough to talk to you about all of this - knowing how you'll probably feel about it - she's also mature enough to keep the distance required to not go down that path with her. I think you have a good plan as far as limiting the kinds of exposure she has to Krista and as long as you keep the line of communication open (being frank with her about why the restrictions are there, if she objects to them, rather than doing the "Because I'm your mom and I said so" deal) I can't see it becoming any kind of problem.

 

[jackangel]

Is Krista kind to animals? Is she good at spelling? Does she respect others? Is she funny? What's her FICO?

What are the good things about her? I'm curious why your daughter considers her a friend. Is it because of some redeeming qualities,
or just because they've associated and your daughter is a friendly person?

 

[stilleto]

Is Krista kind to animals? Is she good at spelling? Does she respect others? Is she funny? What's her FICO?

What are the good things about her? I'm curious why your daughter considers her a friend. Is it because of some redeeming qualities,
or just because they've associated and your daughter is a friendly person?

I think they became friends because at 13, you're friends with whoever is located conveniently to you, who you have some things in common with, and is as receptive to your friendship as you are.
This girl seemed okay last year, but has started to go down the wrong path. I thought it was nice that they were friends at first for a few reasons- one being that i saw that my daughter does not choose her friends based on their looks.

i don't want to mentor this girl, and I do NOT want to call social services as someone mentioned. her mother might be okay (single mom, living with her father and some strange woman who had a stroke and yells at everyone), just not really on top of things.

 

[jackangel]

The arsenic/cyanide option is not to your liking either?

 

[SpyWizard]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

depends, actually your daughter should make the decision... we spend time with people for different reasons.. a bird of a feather flock together.. how does your daughter view herself?? how does she want others to view her/???

College is the time to discover who or what they want to be, however with that said, you will be less of an influence then, by helping her make a decision on who she wants to be associated with, you need to not tell her she can't, but that your daughter may not be able to help this girl... good girls get to go everywhere, bad girls get to have sex in juvi with adult men..

just a thought.. mine are 27 and 25... and good girls..

 

[myway]

depends, actually your daughter should make the decision... we spend time with people for different reasons.. a bird of a feather flock together.. how does your daughter view herself?? how does she want others to view her/???

College is the time to discover who or what they want to be, however with that said, you will be less of an influence then, by helping her make a decision on who she wants to be associated with, you need to not tell her she can't, but that your daughter may not be able to help this girl... good girls get to go everywhere, bad girls get to have sex in juvi with adult men..

just a thought.. mine are 27 and 25... and good girls..

Peoples, give Spywizard tha k for this

 

[inkspot]

depends, actually your daughter should make the decision... we spend time with people for different reasons.. a bird of a feather flock together.. how does your daughter view herself?? how does she want others to view her/???

College is the time to discover who or what they want to be, however with that said, you will be less of an influence then, by helping her make a decision on who she wants to be associated with, you need to not tell her she can't, but that your daughter may not be able to help this girl... good girls get to go everywhere, bad girls get to have sex in juvi with adult men..

just a thought.. mine are 27 and 25... and good girls..

+1

stilleto this would be an excellent time to set up a password with her. My daughter had a questionable friend, in my opinion, who she liked (the whole bird flocking together thing) but didn't want to do the sleep over thing with. Whenever a situation came up that she wanted out of indirectly, she'd call and add her password to the question. My hint to say "no sorry". No hurt feelings.

 

[chris302001]

The arsenic/cyanide option is not to your liking either?

lol you're being ignored.

 

[-SD-]

The arsenic/cyanide option is not to your liking either?

she should have the nuclear option, like major world governments.

 

[stilleto]

depends, actually your daughter should make the decision... we spend time with people for different reasons.. a bird of a feather flock together.. how does your daughter view herself?? how does she want others to view her/???

College is the time to discover who or what they want to be, however with that said, you will be less of an influence then, by helping her make a decision on who she wants to be associated with, you need to not tell her she can't, but that your daughter may not be able to help this girl... good girls get to go everywhere, bad girls get to have sex in juvi with adult men..

just a thought.. mine are 27 and 25... and good girls..

thanks. good advice.

so it came up- she asked if she could go to the movies with the girl today. her mom would drive them and pick them up.
i said ok.

 

[stilleto]

The arsenic/cyanide option is not to your liking either?

i only poison people when i really really really have to.

 

[Razorguns]

"You are the company you keep"

r

 

[ortiz34]

pics of pierced vag

just for proof






















sorry, couldn't help my wise ass self

I don't know what I do, you are giving me panic attack just thinking what my 1yr old is up against in ten + yrs

 

[stilleto]

pics of pierced vag

just for proof


sorry, couldn't help my wise ass self

I don't know what I do, you are giving me panic attack just thinking what my 1yr old is up against in ten + yrs

trust me, even if she was over 18, you wouldn't want to see that.

 

[EnderJE]

"You are the company you keep"

r

...

 

[nefertiti]

"You are the company you keep"

r

That's only true to a degree. At that age, stilleto is absolutely right. One really doesn't make friends based on character judgement. Shit, half the people I was "friends" with I didn't even really like all that much, but we were around each other all the time because we were involved in the same activities. You almost get trapped into those friendships sometimes and it's much harder to seperate yourself from them than it is when you get older. it's probably a teenage girl thing...something, for once, you can't act like the authority on lol.

 

[Cutiebaby]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

Well dear, no offense to you or your daughter here because I don' know her from a hole in the wall. However I would not suggest that you cut off their friendship and tell her No all together. Children, especially teens have a sense to do exact opposite of what they are told, and if this girl (Krista) is well on her way to failure she will probably tell your daughter "go against your mom, shes so boring, what a drab, she's jealous, etc".

I would just talk to her and let her know that this is wrong, her friend is wrong, and that she is destined to fail this way. Your daughter sounds smart and that she will be able to find out on her own that the friendship is worthless.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

my 13 year old has told me that one of her friends, "Krista" (age 14, very overweight with a mess of frizzy, poorly cut hair, no father, and wears TONS of really bad makeup) is allowed to get whatever she wants pierced. She is going to go get her lip, nose, and eyebrow done soon. She wants to get pierced "down there" too. Krista and her mother are also going to get matching butterfly tatoos.

My daughter also told me that Krista recently ALMOST had sex with a boy (this 15 year old boy had a 1 week relationship with a 23 year old teacher at the middle school. the teacher admitted it and is up on charges) the other day, wants to start drinking and smoking weed.

Krista has an ENORMOUS ass for a girl her age, and she wears thongs and purposely pulls them up above her pants line. She is going this week to get part of her hair dyed purple, and wears thick black eyeliner and sloppy bright red lipgloss.

Her mother is also a mess and they live in a mess of a house.

so here's my question. My daughter told me all of this and I told her what a shame that all is and how she's heading in a very bad direction. my daughter says she knows. Now that she's confided in me, if she wants to hang out with Krista, do i let her?

btw, my daughter has two new friends who are adorable and lovely girls. I encourage those friendships.

Deliver a swift uppercut to the mom's jaw and tell her congratulations on turning her kid into a fuckup. Threaten to call social services and report everything the kid's been doing. Or don't and prepare for all the drama bs the kid will get buried in along with your daughter if she keeps hanging out with her.

 

[stilleto]

Well dear, no offense to you or your daughter here because I don' know her from a hole in the wall. However I would not suggest that you cut off their friendship and tell her No all together. Children, especially teens have a sense to do exact opposite of what they are told, and if this girl (Krista) is well on her way to failure she will probably tell your daughter "go against your mom, shes so boring, what a drab, she's jealous, etc".

I would just talk to her and let her know that this is wrong, her friend is wrong, and that she is destined to fail this way. Your daughter sounds smart and that she will be able to find out on her own that the friendship is worthless.

no offense at all...
that was my thought, but until you have a teenage girl, you won't know how hard that is.

my daughter sent me a text before. she was playing with makeup and sent me a picture. I said she looked good, but it was too much. I also asked if she was going to the movies with Krista like she had asked me about (because i did not want her wearing that much makeup out). She said they were not going (yay!) and she was just practicing with the makeup.

my husband had a talk with her about girls that don't have fathers often look for that attention elsewhere and that she is lucky that she has a loving father, even if she finds him super annoying.

 

[Cutiebaby]

no offense at all...
that was my thought, but until you have a teenage girl, you won't know how hard that is.

my daughter sent me a text before. she was playing with makeup and sent me a picture. I said she looked good, but it was too much. I also asked if she was going to the movies with Krista like she had asked me about (because i did not want her wearing that much makeup out). She said they were not going (yay!) and she was just practicing with the makeup.

my husband had a talk with her about girls that don't have fathers often look for that attention elsewhere and that she is lucky that she has a loving father, even if she finds him super annoying.

It has got to be hard being in that situation..I am wishing mine will never turn into teens, lol.

Glad that your husband had a talk with her, sometimes it is better coming from daddy and not the momma.

idk, I hope that I am a "cool" mom when my kids are teens, I don't want to be too over bearing, but at the same time I do not want to be too lenient either. It sucks knowing where to make that line. However this girls mom is wayyyyyyyy to cool to be a mother. She is more like the elder friend, hell shouldn't she be the buyer by now??

 

[stilleto]

It has got to be hard being in that situation..I am wishing mine will never turn into teens, lol.

Glad that your husband had a talk with her, sometimes it is better coming from daddy and not the momma.

idk, I hope that I am a "cool" mom when my kids are teens, I don't want to be too over bearing, but at the same time I do not want to be too lenient either. It sucks knowing where to make that line. However this girls mom is wayyyyyyyy to cool to be a mother. She is more like the elder friend, hell shouldn't she be the buyer by now??

yeah, her mom is trying too hard to be cool. This girl, (like I said, she's very overweight with a HUGE butt) wears miniskirts and heels.

I think i'm pretty cool with my kids. They know i like some of the same music they do (especially my son), and i laugh and joke with them a lot and act goofy, but i'm a little strict too.

 

[ortiz34]

I always hung out with bad crowd, my friends were always getting arrested, doing some real dumb ass shit
I ALWAYS knew that my dad would beat my fvckin ass if I ever got into trouble so I knew my limits, sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders like others have said.
Your hubby must be great

 

[pdaddyII]

i think this is a no brainer...wtf. I would sever this friendship immediately. Your daughter is at the most impressionable age right now and you don't want a royal white trash fuck up involved. It is nice that she confided in you and I understand that you are afraid of damaging that new opened line of communication...however, if you address it in the proper way she will understand.

I had a friend at that exact same age that was an enormous trouble maker. One day my mom came home from work early and caught us in the front yard shooting birds out of trees with his BB gun. She told him to leave and told me I was no longer allowed to hang out with him. I love my parents for enforcing that because before that incident we had done some things that would have landed me in some serious trouble had I been caught.

Letto, sever it now, that hell child will poison your daughter.

 

[stilleto]

i think this is a no brainer...wtf. I would sever this friendship immediately. Your daughter is at the most impressionable age right now and you don't want a royal white trash fuck up involved. It is nice that she confided in you and I understand that you are afraid of damaging that new opened line of communication...however, if you address it in the proper way she will understand.

I had a friend at that exact same age that was an enormous trouble maker. One day my mom came home from work early and caught us in the front yard shooting birds out of trees with his BB gun. She told him to leave and told me I was no longer allowed to hang out with him. I love my parents for enforcing that because before that incident we had done some things that would have landed me in some serious trouble had I been caught.

Letto, sever it now, that hell child will poison your daughter.

see, it's not really a no brainer. It IS, if you have never had a teenager before, but you'll see... it's not easy.
if i caught them doing something, or even just the friend, i could easily say "i do not want you hanging out with her."
but when your daughter tells you what's going on... if i turned and said, "then you can't hang out with her anymore", she'd never confide in me about her friends again. would you?
i know i have to trust her a little, but limit things.

I DO limit things constantly btw. My daughter wanted to go hang out in the park today with a friend in a town that I don't like. its near the court house and some low income housing. i said no. not ever. she was annoyed, but by the end of the day she was fine.

 

[CajunSaint]

no way in hell

 

[calveless wonder]

not a parent but just my opinion

it's a predicament...

obviously this krista girl is a trainwreck and for anybody, your friends play a huge influence on you...whether you intend it or not.but those aren't really things you learn till later in life anyways.

she confided in you and has your trust, so that's important. i think for now give her some freedom/space....as long as she's not impressionable enough to follow this girls path then you're ok. if you see a bad pattern developing, then you should probably intervene.

it also depends how close they are. if they're around each other 24/7 then that's a problem. if they're just more so distant friends/acquitances...then it's not as big an issue

 

[Razorguns]

That's only true to a degree. At that age, stilleto is absolutely right. One really doesn't make friends based on character judgement. Shit, half the people I was "friends" with I didn't even really like all that much, but we were around each other all the time because we were involved in the same activities. You almost get trapped into those friendships sometimes and it's much harder to seperate yourself from them than it is when you get older. it's probably a teenage girl thing...something, for once, you can't act like the authority on lol.

Would a Jewish or Asian parent let their kids hang around her?

Hang around losers in high school = hang around losers in adulthood. Most of the losers I saw in high school aren't working in fancy buildings driving lexuses right now.

What benefit does she gain by hanging around loser kids who are 1 step away from dropping out of high school and living life in poverty? Answer: none.

r

 

[nefertiti]

Would a Jewish or Asian parent let their kids hang around her?

Hang around losers in high school = hang around losers in adulthood. Most of the losers I saw in high school aren't working in fancy buildings driving lexuses right now.

What benefit does she gain by hanging around loser kids who are 1 step away from dropping out of high school and living life in poverty? Answer: none.

r

you're wrong on so many levels it's not even worth it to try and point it out to you.

You have no idea what being a teenage girl is about, so just stop trying lol.

 

[CajunSaint]

not a parent but just my opinion

it's a predicament...

obviously this krista girl is a trainwreck and for anybody, your friends play a huge influence on you...whether you intend it or not.but those aren't really things you learn till later in life anyways.

she confided in you and has your trust, so that's important. i think for now give her some freedom/space....as long as she's not impressionable enough to follow this girls path then you're ok. if you see a bad pattern developing, then you should probably intervene.

it also depends how close they are. if they're around each other 24/7 then that's a problem. if they're just more so distant friends/acquitances...then it's not as big an issue

agreed 100%

 

[iggy]

not a parent either letto but i grew up in this day and age....

your friends influence you a TON growing up. even now you will remember your friends at age 13 and what you did.

we were big troublemakers, but smart about it (set off fireworks, got drunk a couple of times, always looking for new fun stuff to do and chasing girls).

I believe if you told her not to hang out with krista she would do the complete opposite.

I would. A.) Rent the movie Th1rt33n. It's about some thirteen year old girl making friends with a trouble maker and go down the wrong path at a young age. It would be perfect for your daughter to scare her out of this silly phase. Nothing wrong with doing a few stupid things when your growing up. but piercings/sex at 13 seem a bit out of hand. hope this helps.

- iggy

 

[stilleto]

Would a Jewish or Asian parent let their kids hang around her?

r

i'm russian mongolian.

(russian mongolian= jewish and asian)
lol

 

[stilleto]

btw, thanks for the advice guys. it helps to see the big picture when i read your opinions.

 

[pdaddyII]

Letto,

I see your point but I have to say that it might help to see it from an outsiders perspective. You're right, I don't have a teenage daughter.....yet, so I can't fully see the entire picture. BUT, keep in mind that you having the attachment and struggle to balance the mother and friend role with her and this may 'jade' your perspective a bit. Just to reiterate on a softer note; 13 is a highly impressionable age, much like having a mid life crisis with zero life experience or knowledge. These next few years of her life will truly mold her direction and choices. I'm in no way discerning the girl/woman to be that you have raised; or the fantastic parent I'm sure you are. I am merely pointing out the extreme vulnerability involved. Just tread softly but cautiously...and carry a heavy stick. Fuck I dread these years to come.....**puke

love always and forever,

Prince P

 

[stilleto]

Letto,

I see your point but I have to say that it might help to see it from an outsiders perspective. You're right, I don't have a teenage daughter.....yet, so I can't fully see the entire picture. BUT, keep in mind that you having the attachment and struggle to balance the mother and friend role with her and this may 'jade' your perspective a bit. Just to reiterate on a softer note; 13 is a highly impressionable age, much like having a mid life crisis with zero life experience or knowledge. These next few years of her life will truly mold her direction and choices. I'm in no way discerning the girl/woman to be that you have raised; or the fantastic parent I'm sure you are. I am merely pointing out the extreme vulnerability involved. Just tread softly but cautiously...and carry a heavy stick. Fuck I dread these years to come.....**puke

love always and forever,

Prince P

yeah, i hear ya. thanks.
it is REALLY hard. much harder with daughters than with son's. at least, in my case.

My daughter is very close with two friends that i LOVE- totally wholesome looking girls from good families. She has another good friend who seems like a good kid, but her household is messed up (dad smokes pot all day, they keep chickens IN their house, parents are divorcing, basement has a black mold problem, mom dresses like a hooker), another friend who lives in a million dollar home and parents that look like models, the girl is on a traveling cheer leading squad and is basically an obnoxious princess, and Krista.

SO... i think she'll make the right decisions- she doesn't gravitate to just one kind of friend and is probably being influenced by all of them. I'm afraid to completely restrict her from seeing one friend, because that will end up being the one she'll gravitate towards.

 

[stilleto]

this is my daughter btw. Age 12:

 

[cindylou]

i think this is a no brainer...wtf. I would sever this friendship immediately. Your daughter is at the most impressionable age right now and you don't want a royal white trash fuck up involved. It is nice that she confided in you and I understand that you are afraid of damaging that new opened line of communication...however, if you address it in the proper way she will understand.

I had a friend at that exact same age that was an enormous trouble maker. One day my mom came home from work early and caught us in the front yard shooting birds out of trees with his BB gun. She told him to leave and told me I was no longer allowed to hang out with him. I love my parents for enforcing that because before that incident we had done some things that would have landed me in some serious trouble had I been caught.

Letto, sever it now, that hell child will poison your daughter.

I see no problem with two boys shooting birds out of trees with BB guns - whats wrong with that - but Im picturing a woods setting , not a neighborhood setting

 

[digimon7068]

i think this is a no brainer...wtf. I would sever this friendship immediately. Your daughter is at the most impressionable age right now and you don't want a royal white trash fuck up involved. It is nice that she confided in you and I understand that you are afraid of damaging that new opened line of communication...however, if you address it in the proper way she will understand.

I had a friend at that exact same age that was an enormous trouble maker. One day my mom came home from work early and caught us in the front yard shooting birds out of trees with his BB gun. She told him to leave and told me I was no longer allowed to hang out with him. I love my parents for enforcing that because before that incident we had done some things that would have landed me in some serious trouble had I been caught.

Letto, sever it now, that hell child will poison your daughter.

omigod. . .i don't even want to tell you how many birds i shot with my pellet rifle. . .yikes. . .and i was warned repeatedly by my mother that, if she ever caught me shooting birds (or whatever), i would lose my pellet rifle. . .but i did it anyway. . .it was purely just my fascination with hunting, and it was something i grew out of to a certain extent i suppose. . .although i still enjoy hunting. . .and not just because i eat what i shoot. . .there really is something spiritual about the experience (if you don't have the "gene" you wouldn't understand). bottomline, though? i didn't turn into jeffrey dahmer or anything. . .in fact, most people think i'm a pretty damn fine human being

 

[cindylou]

omigod. . .i don't even want to tell you how many birds i shot with my pellet rifle. . .yikes. . .and i was warned repeatedly by my mother that, if she ever caught me shooting birds (or whatever), i would lose my pellet rifle. . .but i did it anyway. . .it was purely just my fascination with hunting, and it was something i grew out of to a certain extent i suppose. . .although i still enjoy hunting. . .and not just because i eat what i shoot. . .there really is something spiritual about the experience (if you don't have the "gene" you wouldn't understand). bottomline, though? i didn't turn into jeffrey dahmer or anything. . .in fact, most people think i'm a pretty damn fine human being

If I had a son, he would be hunting by that age, with his fater up north or with his friends in appropriate places. Probably not appropriate in the neighborhood, but not enough to banish a friend for life. lol I hate birds too. They are evil

so i guess I dont see the big deal. Sounds like typical boy behavior to me. Inappropriate place in a neighborhood though. But I think playing baseball in a culdesac is even more irritating and unacceptable

 

[pdaddyII]

If I had a son, he would be hunting by that age, with his fater up north or with his friends in appropriate places. Probably not appropriate in the neighborhood, but not enough to banish a friend for life. lol I hate birds too. They are evil

so i guess I dont see the big deal. Sounds like typical boy behavior to me. Inappropriate place in a neighborhood though. But I think playing baseball in a culdesac is even more irritating and unacceptable

Yes it was in the fron yard of our home in middle/upper neighborhood. Shooting neighborhood birds is not an alright thing to do. We were shooting the state bird and cardinals, bluejays, finches...you name it, we shot it. I actually never enjoyed the feeling of the actual kill but the excitment of doing something 'bad'. And this neighborhood hoodrat was the perfect outlet/influence to light that spark.

About a month before the bird incident we went trick-or-treating together and he brought a large hunting knife in which he would use to force other kids to give him their bags of candy. He would run up to them and slice the bottoms out of their bags and we would pillage and run. Yes, we were no older than 12 years old.

To be honest he somewhat frightened me but intrigued me at the same time. When my parents came to the point of banning out friendship, i was kind of relieved.