i give my wife a good 40-60 minute massage 5-6 nights a week. i rub her feet while we're watching tv. 20 minutes per foot. just about every night along with her massage..mornings when the alarm goes off, i rub and massage her 20 minutes, just about every morning.
i send her text messages 2-3 times a day letting her know how hot she looked all dressed up heading off for work. ( she is very hot)once a week, i'll put a note in her briefcase telling her she looked and smelled so good. a small love note.
i email her once a day saying i love you..
been married 22 years. dating 6 before that.
i train very hard. always sore. i get no massages. MAYBE a 5 minute massage once every 3 weeks, but usually never ever anything. i never get a text, other than her saying thanks to the text i sent her. she never ever ever ever initiates sex.
what the hell do i do??
i want sex 24/7. her, hahahaha. 1 time a week is fine..
i think i would die if she initiated anything physical. she's been thru the change so thats not an issue. it was, but thankfully thats over. no stress on work..
just enjoys the notes, massages, texts and all else i do. i just want the same in return. i get zero. i mean zero.
we get along fine, but no physical action unless i start,it and then its excuses, like the kids are still up, i'll be there later, knowing i'll be sleeping, but she gives in 1 day a week.
sex is awsome, but 1 day a week..
i spent my whole life training, eating good, taking vitamins, so maybe it paid off and i have a great sex drive. trouble is , she has a terrible drive. now what.
this is a snapshot and one persons perspective. i'm not saying you're
lying, exaggerating or the like..... it's just that when you are in the
middle of something, it's hard to see everything. subjective reporting
in emotional matters isn't very reliable. i'm sure you're being candid,
but there's always 2 sides to a coin.
based on what you've posted, some of it is probably hormonal. this is
a quick fix. low dose testosterone creams and pills can be compounded
in a pharmacy and these preparations work wonders in women.
improved mood, energy and yes, improved libido! you gotta find
a doc who is knowledgeable about these matters.
i don't believe it's purely hormonal. i can hear lots of dysfunction in
your post. "we get along just fine" you say. if you guys aren't fighting about this
there is something terribly wrong. what you've described in your post is
more akin to adoration than love. adoration is a stage that's experienced
early on in a relationship. adoration at 22 years is telling. particularly in
light of her withdrawing. i also noticed you became very defensive in one
of your post, " you're supposed to treat your wife this way." i'm paraphrasing
but it was to that effect. who says your supposed to ? furthermore if your
doing it out of some inexplicable obligation, it isn't love. i could continue,
but you should being getting the point by now.
if you are serious about facing and starting a resolution to this problem,
you'll have to be very openminded. it will boil down to faulty communication
and engrained behaviors that have been with you two for a very long time.
you are half the problem my friend, whether you think so are not. you guys
will be unable to "fix" this by yourselves. ( you guys are the problem and i
dare say either of you have much insight into your own maladaptive
schemas. you will need an objective third party. look for a very skilled
marriage counselor. i can see by the length of your marriage that you guys
are late 40's maybe 50's. it will be difficult to face this and it will be
even harder to change. if you are truly committed to each other and brave
enough to face your own shit....... you will succeed. good luck to you
and your family.
Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
