Need Some Serious Personal Advice

[grlpwrd]

So you're living with your mom...where is your dad? Aside from the depression angle I'm thinking maybe you're just reliving the behavior you've learned from one of your parents..and you just have to unlearn them.

I had problems being committed to anything (as in I had no goals) and I am naturally unambitious because I learned this from my parents. They didn't attend college and they don't have anything that they worked for and had no goals. I don't want to trash them and talk bad, but they weren't very good role models. It took me many years to unlearn what they taught me and to learn how to live with goals, ambition, and fortitude. I read a lot of self help books.. maybe you just need a dose of Dr Phil or Tony Robbins.

Hope any of this helps..and good luck!

 

[thebabydoc]

I am a doc and I have patients and friends with this problem. Just like Sofa said, this sounds precisely and exactly like bipolar. "Depression" doesn't mean you have to be down crying everyday. It can be something as subltle as anhedonia (no enjoyment, or what you described as "being dead") or sleeping too much, or just no motivation to do things you started just a few weeks earlier.

Get a doc ASAP. Probably will put you on an SSRI like Zoloft or Prozac plus something like Depakote. You will not believe how fast you will get/feel better!

 

[Mad4Iron]

My ex was bi-polar and manic depressive.

On the bi-polar,if I was lucky on her downslide,she'd be bummed or melancoly.If I wasn't lucky,I'd be ducking and the cops would be at the house.
It doesn't have to be wild extremes but in my ex's case it was more than not.

The one thing that is common I noticed is she would get a great job,keep it for a month or three and say fuck it.Some of these jobs were really cake,highpaying jobs that friends went out of their way to get for her/us.

I always thought she was self destructive but I've learned that it's part of the condition.

See a Doc Bro,meds helped her to the point I could dump her with a clean conscience(That sounds shitty but there was more to it than that).As far as I know she's doing alright.

Mad

 

[seventieschile']

"So you're living with your mom...where is your dad? Aside from the depression angle I'm thinking maybe you're just reliving the behavior you've learned from one of your parents..and you just have to unlearn them.

I had problems being committed to anything (as in I had no goals) and I am naturally unambitious because I learned this from my parents. They didn't attend college and they don't have anything that they worked for and had no goals. I don't want to trash them and talk bad, but they weren't very good role models. It took me many years to unlearn what they taught me and to learn how to live with goals, ambition, and fortitude. I read a lot of self help books.. maybe you just need a dose of Dr Phil or Tony Robbins.

Hope any of this helps..and good luck!" Re grlpwrd

That was unbelievably as close to my situation as possible. My parents split when I was 3 or 4. Can't really remember, don't really care all that much; however, my father was an authoritarian and a serious workaholic. His life was devoted towards hard work and was a strong believer in education. My mother on the other hand is exactly the opposite. She has never had a job in her life. Sits on the couch all day and just complains constantly. She takes absolutely no control over her life and blames all of her problems on everyone except herself. Of the two polar opposite mind sets, I have to admit I despise the second tier. I've lived with both of them at different developmental stages of my life (mom 0-12, dad 12-18). I'm wondering if perhaps I'm unconsciously torn between those two philosophies. I mean children have to model parents behavior to some point both consciously and/or unconsciously. Anyone have an opinion on this week.
Secondly, I am seriously contemplating seeking professional help; however, its my understanding that it can be very expensive. Is their such a thing a free or reduced mental assistance.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

I can relate to a lot of what you said, especially that stuff about getting all motivated and dreaming of lofty goals (in the gym, for instance) and then missing a few days, then a week, etc. and having to start all over. And the job thing, the laziness the comes after acing an interview and lining it up, that too.

Do you think maybe you're sabotaging yourself? Two reasons come to mind. One, as Freud said, its more comfortable to be melancholy/unhappy than to be happy. Two, maybe its a fear of comittment, of being tied down to a given job/person? Just a few thoughts.

Is it really so unusual to have "up" mood swings that involve lofty dreams, and "down" swings of laziness and melancholy? SOunds pretty normal to me. Not every up and down is a symptom of a mood disorder.

That said, in this case, the emotional deadness thing does sound like it could be depression.

 

[p0ink]

did your boyfriend dump you for being a cheating bitch?

oh wait, i see you're from rutgers...you must be a straight up ho.

 

[Baoh]

did your boyfriend dump you for being a cheating bitch?

oh wait, i see you're from rutgers...you must be a straight up ho.

I was going to ask this, but a certain mod is gunning to ban me for posting any kind "rude" remark towards any "female" member.

Thank you.

 

[HumorMe]

Why don't you move away from your environment.(move to another town)

A change of scenery might be a vast improvement over how you are living now.

Seek help if moving is not an option. Good luck.

 

[HULKSTER]

My life is in shambles and I need some serious advice on how to begin the process of piecing it back together.
Every aspect of my life is just complete shit right now. Professionaly (sales) , I' just can't keep a job. Although I'm only 23 and still relatively young, I don't believe this is a normal thing. Although I'm just 2 years out of college. I can hired to do anything. I've never been to an interview that I haven't aced; whether its a position making 40 grand a year or 6 digits. Unfortunately, this is the full and total extend of my professional success. I always start off bangin. After a couple months I've usually achieved the status as top rep and then I just stop showing up. No phone call, no email. No reason. I just quit.

I used to get like that; you start off at a new job, and the excitement of meeting new people, new tasks and new challenges keeps your mind occupied from the misery of working in a dead-end job that will mean nothing to society in the end. But then I finally thought to myself, "Fuck society, I work for me and my own!" That's why I don't care if my work is stimulating, important to society/civilization, etc. All I care about is making as much money as possible without me losing my soul. Other than that, I pay too much damn taxes to both the federal and state governments for me to use my remaining money and free time to give a damn about me using my employment, education, knowlege, etc. to benefit anyone else. That's the job of the federal and state governments. I notice that there are too many people in the world like you---and how I used to be----who get unmotivated or outright depressed because their job only makes them good money, but does nothing to help/progress society. Like I said, that's why we work like animals to pay taxes, and that's what the government is for. So be happy to be one of the multitude who have a meaningless job, or even a meaningless life for that matter, and just be the best worker bee you can be in order to make as much money as possible for yourself and your family.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

I was going to ask this, but a certain mod is gunning to ban me for posting any kind "rude" remark towards any "female" member.

Thank you.

Its really not your business, but I'll answer anyway. Unlike many of the meatheads, like p0ink, that replied to that thread in order to kick me when I was down, so to speak, my boyfriend didn't consider that cheating, would never use the term "slut" or "ho" in regards to any woman because he is respectful, valued my honesty in fact, and, now we have an even better relationship than before. We agreed upon broader boundaries. And, not all females that go to Rutgers are promiscuous.

Not that you two could relate. With the sort of anti-woman animosity you come out with, its pretty clear you're feeling frustrated with the ladies for turning you down so often.