Need help guys, moral delema

[danielson]

u did the right thing....the cruelest thing is a baby can get HIV from its parents, but if the doctors know they are HIV positive they can act during the pregnancy almost risk free and reduce the transmission rate to under 1%.....its sad for the HIV friend you hae because she will forever be labelled just that, HIV and that anytime she gets any kind of infection, the more paranoid of your friends will wig out and think shes got the plaugue or something. worse still she obvoiusly has strong sexual urges and will probably feel that she cant relieve them. i just hope she used a condom when she had sex with these guys, even if she didnt, theres a good chance they may not have HIV. sleep easy

(oh and personally i think you handled this as best u could under the circumstances)

 

[djane]

wait a damn minute here!!

first of all, what the hell is wrong with your wife? TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!! this chick may already have a very short life, but think of all the other potential lives you can save. you shouldn't worry about betraying thsi chicks friendship. fuck that, she's possibly KILLING people. she has no right to do that shit. you will be able to sleep a lot easier if you tell these other people what she's doing. the fact that it's been eating at you this long should show you that you KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING IS WRONG!! good luck

 

[WODIN]

Cleaner, I couldn't have said it better bro.

 

[madbomber31]

see what kind of woman i had to put up with!!!

 

[Rotten]

She (the stripper) stood me up and isn't answering my calls. I've called four of the guys already and told them to meet me at home after work. This should be interesting.

She had her chance to tell them herself, I guess I'll do it for her.



As far as the wife, she says I yelled at her last night but I think I just raised my voice. We had a real fun morning(where's the sarcasm button?), but its all cool now.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Rotten, I know that you and your wife have been through some major devastations....disregard anyone who says stupid shit without knowing A FCUKING THING.

I can understand why she would be upset w/you for feeling (I guess loyalty might be the wrong word here, but it is a close as I can get to express what I am thinking) these "friends". I also understand feeling bound by your word. I too feel that if you don't have your word....what do you have? But there comes a time when you have to realize that keeping your word will do more harm than good. (As I feel it will in this case.)

I think this girl presented the situation to you because she knew how strong your character was and that her "secret" would be safe w/you....but her behaviour is BEYOND self-destructive. She is taking other people's lives into her hands...people that she will NEVER EVEN KNOW.

We are all human and we all make mistakes. As long as we recognize and learn from them, it is OK. You are allowed to break your word in this case, if she is not strong enough to do what is right herself and alter her behaviour. You have done nothing wrong, except perhaps try to be there for someone who needed help. If you can not convince her to step up to the plate and maybe even get some counseling, then I feel that you have fulfilled your obligation and then need to do what is right.

As for you and your wife. It is not that simple. I feel for you both - BELIEVE ME. If you guys can not find a way to work this out it may pass with time, but will cause a rift which will lay dormant but crop up and grow bigger with each difficulty that life throws at you. Don't let your relationship go down the tubes. It is damned hard to find a true friend to go through life with. I know better than anyone, I know.

Work it out. Get to a counselor, talk till you guys are sick of talking and then.....talk some more. Do it. You will not be sorry. Let it slide and you may regret it somewhere down the line.

...Just my .02

 

[Rexx]

Rotten, good move calling them over to your house after work. I personally would tell them. Not just for the fact that they could catch it and die, but that the girlfriends could get it and God forbid if they got pregnant and the baby was born with the disease.

At least if you warned them, then you did all that was in your power to literally save their lives. Would you be able to look in the mirror if you did not tell them and they caught and spread HIV to more people.

She asked you not to tell anyone, which is a reasonable request if she was no longer having intercourse with anyone. But when she knows she's contagious and willingly has sex with other people, then something has to be done. Loyalty to her is no longer a factor and its no longer your responsibility to keep the silence you said you would. Her responsibilty was to make sure noone else contracted the disease from her and she disregarded it.

I am big on loyalty meaning a lot, but something has to be done here. If noone was at risk, then yes keep the secret, but since people's lives are being risked knowingly and willingly on her part then I say fuck her.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Sound's like your wife is a vengeful little bitch,like most women.

Ok.....The man was expressing that he was having marital difficulties because of this moral dilemma...and you speak harshly and disrespectfully of not only HIS WIFE, but of MOST WOMEN.

See, now I take offense to that. Why you ask?

Because it IS NOT ADVICE it is a cheapshot directed at MOST WOMEN (a group that I happen to belong to) and a man's WIFE (another group that I happen to belong to). So this, in your estimation makes me stupid.

If standing up for respectful discussion about MOST WOMEN and WIVES makes me stupid - THEN I GUESS I AM ONE BIG STUPID BITCH.....and that is MRS QUEEN BITCH TO YOU and SMILE WHEN YOU SAY IT!

I have gotten multiple requests to have your pathetic, weak minded little ass banned from the boards, but I don't believe it is necessary at this point. I believe that you are (so far) as harmless though equally annoying as so many gnats that get embedded in the grill of my minivan.

Class dissmissed! Have a nice day!

 

[Bikini Mod]

.....yea, I'm a typical woman.

Remember what I said on another thread about kissing my weak, inferior (fill in the blank)?....Go ahead, baby, PUCKER UP!

I am soooooooo gald you took the bait. I have FOUR KIDS, they will not FIT into a "regular" passenger vehicle, FOOL. I NEED A MINIVAN TO HOLD THEM ALL! DUH!

Oh yes, and that fodder about only replying to Rotten's comments about his own wife making her sound like a vengeful bitch? How old are you?.....16/17 tops? If you had life experience you would be able to separate a man venting and hurting about a serious relationship issue and unnecessarily hurling uncalled for RUDE and disrespectful comments about another man's wife and MOST WOMEN IN GENERAL.

Did your mother pottytrain you at gunpoint or not breast feed you or something?....'cause my little snot-nosed brotha - YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES

 

[The Ranger]

Strike two Wadgobbler....BM is sometimes to nice...though not in this case...

Try me on fer size Stud-muffins....

Ranger