Part of relationships, and love, is sharing. You can't really give someone a fair shot unless you are willing to risk getting hurt. I know you kept your kids very secluded from the dating part of your life, and that is entirely your right, but not every woman is as guarded and closed off as you were BM.
I'm dating a MILF myself right now (no pics bros!) and she has allowed me to become a part of her daughter's life just a month or so into it. I respect that she trusted me and is open enough with me to do that. It speaks volumes about how serious she really is about giving this relationship a real chance. Both her daughter and myself are large parts of her life, it would be impossible to keep us completely seperate and grow the relationship.
Of course, rudeboy's girl may just really be a skanky slut too, I don't know her so I can't tell.