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Men please explain this.......

Gymgurl

Gymgurl

Plat Hero
Platinum
You meet a girl and you really hit it off.....start talking, kissing, hanging out, (no sex yet)....everything is hot and all of a sudden the guy starts acting kinda cold, hasn't called,emails are brief, though nothing has changed and the night before he told you how much he really loves being with you and that he could fall in love with you easy :worried: ......

NOW wtf is that??? My friend and I are trying to figure out her situation
 
1) He heard you have the clap.
2) He saw you have the clap.
3) He has the clap and he's explored every possibility, and it boils down to you.
4) He's cheating on you.
 
Gymgurl said:
You meet a girl and you really hit it off.....start talking, kissing, hanging out, (no sex yet)....everything is hot and all of a sudden the guy starts acting kinda cold, hasn't called,emails are brief, though nothing has changed and the night before he told you how much he really loves being with you and that he could fall in love with you easy :worried: ......

NOW wtf is that??? My friend and I are trying to figure out her situation
Click to expand...


...another woman.
 
He heard something about you.
He found an easy chick.
He is already with someone who caught wind of you, OR their is a mutually known individual.
He saw you naked and doesn't like it.
He is gay.
He found Jesus.
He won the dogfight and collected his winnings.
'He's just not that into you'
He has you as a back-up booty type call.
He found out you are related.
 
Gymgurl said:
LOL...no clap here.....

Maybe another woman?
Click to expand...

Seriously, tell her to read the book. It's short, a quick read, is really just common sense that we don't want to face and is written by a guy.
 
Well he is either living a double life and might have someone else on the go, a girlfriend or a wife even, Men often say things to get you into bed and can start off as the prefect gentle man, the next time he calls or your friend sees him, she should ask him right out, is there anything i should know, after all Never start anything with secret and lies, it only leads to heartache afterwards, always remember that
 
'splain this to me -- it seems that men live "in the moment", whereas women have a "longer" view of a "connection". I.e. Men will segment a relationship into time slices -- many different interactions identified by time slices over the course of the day. Women connect each relationship based on the person and the various time slices that make up that relationship, e.g. a conversation the night before and the actions of that person the next day, week, etc. are all joined together in the girl's mind, independent of the other threads of relationships.

Make sense?

In this case, the girl is trying to connect what the guy said the nite before to actions that match up the next day. The guy, on the other hand, may have been totally "in" the moment teh night before but now he's focused whatever is going on during the day and not concerned about his "implied obligations" from the nite before.

Comments? Or shoudl I stay out of amateur analysis & keep my day job?
 
Gymgurl said:
I just thought you guys might have some insight on how men think....I guess SEX just sums it up
Click to expand...


Did she do anything that she can think of to turn him off? I went out on a few dates with this one chick... I was sorta on the fence with her, she was nice and all but she had some personality traits that made me iffy on her. We were hooking up in my bedroom and somehow she knocked over a huge cup of cranberry and vodka that we were sharing. Spilled all over my carpet. That was pretty ruined it for me. Never saw her again.
 
Sassy69 said:
'splain this to me -- it seems that men live "in the moment", whereas women have a "longer" view of a "connection". I.e. Men will segment a relationship into time slices -- many different interactions identified by time slices over the course of the day. Women connect each relationship based on the person and the various time slices that make up that relationship, e.g. a conversation the night before and the actions of that person the next day, week, etc. are all joined together in the girl's mind, independent of the other threads of relationships.

Make sense?

In this case, the girl is trying to connect what the guy said the nite before to actions that match up the next day. The guy, on the other hand, may have been totally "in" the moment teh night before but now he's focused whatever is going on during the day and not concerned about his "implied obligations" from the nite before.

Comments? Or shoudl I stay out of amateur analysis & keep my day job?
Click to expand...


No this is GOOD.....because he claims that nothing is wrong....
 
the nature boy said:
Did she do anything that she can think of to turn him off? I went out on a few dates with this one chick... I was sorta on the fence with her, she was nice and all but she had some personality traits that made me iffy on her. We were hooking up in my bedroom and somehow she knocked over a huge cup of cranberry and vodka that we were sharing. Spilled all over my carpet. That was pretty ruined it for me. Never saw her again.
Click to expand...



Well that I don't know for sure...I'm onlt hearing her side...but she said everything was great the night before......and he was really into her and kept telling her how much he loved being with her.....
 
Gymgurl said:
You meet a girl and you really hit it off.....start talking, kissing, hanging out, (no sex yet)....everything is hot and all of a sudden the guy starts acting kinda cold, hasn't called,emails are brief, though nothing has changed and the night before he told you how much he really loves being with you and that he could fall in love with you easy :worried: ......

NOW wtf is that??? My friend and I are trying to figure out her situation
Click to expand...

Well he is either living a double life and might have someone else on the go, a girlfriend or a wife even, Men often say things to get you into bed and can start off as the prefect gentle man, the next time he calls or your friend sees him, she should ask him right out, is there anything i should know, after all Never start anything with secret and lies, it only leads to heartache afterwards, always remember that
 
Sassy, I think you hit on it. I am like that. Another possibility: he might just be "playing hard" . A technique advocated by some dating gurus which says, don't act too interested; don't call too much; act a bit mysterious; don't be too forward with your feelings; etc. I play hard all the time, it works; makes women come beggin. Her best move would be to "play hard" back. Stop calling him for awhile, act disinterested in general... he'll come back around, unless he is totally uninterested.
 
Gymgurl said:
No this is GOOD.....because he claims that nothing is wrong....
Click to expand...


Tell her she's just gonna drive herself nuts trying to figure this out... It typical male behavior.. and some female behavior also. If hes clearly sending signals right now that she doesn't like, why waste any more of her time...
 
The Shadow said:
men think about sex every 6 seconds...there ya go
Click to expand...

That can be said about some women to.. :evil:
 
Tell her to phone him up and see if he wants to fuck. Then wait and observe any changes in his demeanour. If he perks up, then he's just in it for the pussy...if he still doesn't change he's either gay or as mentioned before simply turned off.
 
Gymgurl said:
Now answer me this....could he be afraid of how he feels for her and kinda freaked out
Click to expand...

that's a possibility... have her confront him seriously and just be honest. I only say that because i told myself i would never fall in love and then it happened. i almost fucked it up big time due to my own insecurities and issues that i still deal with today.
 
Gymgurl said:
You meet a girl and you really hit it off.....start talking, kissing, hanging out, (no sex yet)....everything is hot and all of a sudden the guy starts acting kinda cold, hasn't called,emails are brief, though nothing has changed and the night before he told you how much he really loves being with you and that he could fall in love with you easy :worried: ......

NOW wtf is that??? My friend and I are trying to figure out her situation
Click to expand...


LOL

Who knows

But even when people dont like the other person, they want to be liked so theyll say and do a lot of things that are inconsistent with their actions

Ignore what they say, and look at what they do
 
Mr. Black said:
Tell her to phone him up and see if he wants to fuck. Then wait and observe any changes in his demeanour. If he perks up, then he's just in it for the pussy...if he still doesn't change he's either gay or as mentioned before simply turned off.
Click to expand...

listen to this man. Excellent advice for figuring out this dude's bs.
 
He's married.
 
Wrong wrong wrong

Your trying to guess at cause without sufficient information. A waste of effort

The problem isnt that he may be married/involved/impotent/gay/lying/etc etc etc


The problem is that she is trying to rationalize his behavior (which distresss her) with what he said (which is what she wants to believe). Its an annoying and ultimately defeating practice.

What he does far more accurately reflect his feelings and person than what he says. Deal, and move on, and stop looking for the ray of hope she finds in his words
 
Gymgurl said:
You meet a girl and you really hit it off.....start talking, kissing, hanging out, (no sex yet)....everything is hot and all of a sudden the guy starts acting kinda cold, hasn't called,emails are brief, though nothing has changed and the night before he told you how much he really loves being with you and that he could fall in love with you easy :worried: ......

NOW wtf is that??? My friend and I are trying to figure out her situation
Click to expand...


Not enough info here...

Could be a few things:

-He already has a GF/Wife
-He is dating other chicks and is more interested in somebody else.
-Your friend did/said/has something that turned him off on the spot.
-He found out something about her or her past that bothered him.
-Your friend is reading it all wrong... He just wants some pussy, so he is really attentive and caring when they are together, but can't be bothered with her when they are not.
 
JerseyArt said:
Wrong wrong wrong

Your trying to guess at cause without sufficient information. A waste of effort

The problem isnt that he may be married/involved/impotent/gay/lying/etc etc etc


The problem is that she is trying to rationalize his behavior (which distresss her) with what he said (which is what she wants to believe). Its an annoying and ultimately defeating practice.

What he does far more accurately reflect his feelings and person than what he says. Deal, and move on, and stop looking for the ray of hope she finds in his words
Click to expand...


oh, he actually said something? sorry, i'll read that again without the yogurt....
 
ChefWide said:
oh, he actually said something? sorry, i'll read that again without the yogurt....
Click to expand...


I have no idea what that means
 
JerseyArt said:
I have no idea what that means
Click to expand...


NOT POSSIBLE!!!! Who are you!?!? Where is JA!?!?!


Omniscience doesnt include Yogurt-sight??!?! BULLDOODY!
 
ChefWide said:
NOT POSSIBLE!!!! Who are you!?!? Where is JA!?!?!


Omniscience doesnt include Yogurt-sight??!?! BULLDOODY!
Click to expand...


Don't be a hater.

Actually, if you read my posts I'm one of the few who didnt draw some inane conclusion as to cause, Mr Ithinkhemustbemarried.

Instead I suggested a more rational and ultimately beneficial manner in which to assess the situation.

Its a common habit, especially for women, to try to bridge this gap between words and actions in order to justify their continued emotional commitment and prolong hope. It only prolongs the slow death.

He never calls,writes, takes her out, but I know he loves me cause he said so. Maybe he's ill, going through an emotional turmoil, or I said something to confuse him blah blah blah


How about he lied about loving you.

Its the last thing people want to hear, but its almost always the truth with very few exceptioons.
 
Gymgurl,

Your friend have a penis you don't know about?
 
LMAO @ feet.

I really think this is the source of all female pain - trying to understand & rationalize how men act. Guys don't generally freak out about things in relative time. Probably the best thing she can do is communicate to him how she likes to be "kept in touch with", just so she has at least highlighted that to him (equivalently, guys are totally oblivious to the importance women attach to the relative timing of things), and then just sit back & not sweat it. Blow him off a little bit & see where it goes. A girl needs to read a guy more on action than words --- thus the "he's just not into you thing" -- he will rarely actually say it, but his actions usually communicate pretty clearly if you pay attention.
 
You guys are all great! We went out last night and got a few drinks and talked. I kinda told her all the "words of wisdom" you guys brought up. So I think that she is just going to lay back and see what happens and let him do some work. He called her yesterday and talked about getting together this weekend and she was going to to meet him at the gym but went out with me instead. SO....I will keep you posted...but funny thing here that I learned last night is that he has never married, is 43, no kids, loves his toys, but I think he hates commitment and if he likes her as he says....he not comfortable.
 
Just an idea, but has she ASKED him why he is acting like this? Or is she trying to answer it on her own by simply guessing?
 
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