decem said:
if divorced:
1. could you give a very brief explanation of what happened
2. why it happened
3. if you think it could have been avoided
4. if you knew it was going to happen all along (if not, how long it took you to realize it just wasn't gonna work)
5. what type of relationship you had prior to marriage
6. if you looked back on it - could you clearly see that you should have never gotten married in the first place
7. how long did you date prior to marriage
8. if you were scared as fuck prior to marriage
9. if the divorce was the biggest pain in the ass you ever went through or if it was relatively painfree, etc etc....
10. did you ever cheat on your partner prior to or while married?
1. Grew apart - what became her biggest priorities was her lifestyle and material surroundings. Mine just became more of what they always were, more passion and intamacy, (wine, women and song) that sorta thing. She wanted to have control over anything I did. For her being intimate twice a month was all she wanted..lol.
2. Her?....Fuck, I don't know. I guess some people just become that. Me?...Actually bodybuilding had a great deal to do with it. Getting in really good shape made me want the (wine - (great food), women and song thing) and the intamacy, more and more.
3. Looking back at it, and seeing her now, (I still have to see her when I get the kids), I would say it was unavoidable.
4. Nope, could'nt see it in the beginning. During the last 1.5 years though, I could see that things were not going in a good direction. During the last 6 months I knew it was just a matter of time.
5. It was fun. We were on and off twice over a number of years.
6. DAMN RIGHT!!!!!!!!. Here's what I tell my younger nephew and cousins about marriage:
a - Make sure the girl your marrying is a mind blowing lover, actually borderline slut/whore type good in bed. Because if you don't have it that way, you'll always be "looking" or "thinking" about "it".
b - Before saying "I do", tell her if she EVER..EVER!...tries to stop you from doing things you enjoy...ie (fishing, working out, playing cards with the boys once a week...)...tell her shes GONE!...Of course you will have to allow her that, goes both ways, which should'nt be a problem for you.
c - If she thinks/acts like she's really special and smart, (ie. better and above everyone else) be verryyyy careful. She might realllllllllllllllllyyyyyy believe it.
7. 4 or 5 years
8. No
9. Not too painful, took about 7 months total.
10. Came close, (wish I had now), she accused me of it. I know that if we had stayed married, I would have within 6 months.