Man I can't cook for shit. Good thing I'm hot looking.

[RottenWillow]

I spent about 1.5 hours making totally homemade spaghetti with meat sauce. Eating it now.

Shit. Pure shit.

Too much sea salt, too much garlic, not enough of anything else, and underdone noodles. There's pretty much nothing I didn't screw up.

 

[PICK3]

I spent about 1.5 hours making totally homemade spaghetti with meat sauce. Eating it now.

Shit. Pure shit.

Too much sea salt, too much garlic, not enough of anything else, and underdone noodles. There's pretty much nothing I didn't screw up.

last time I tried to cook meat sauce I got so pissed I grabbed the whole pot and threw it in the dumpster.

and ... I'm knot even hawt

 

[bigtravis]

I'm awsome with the spices. This is why women dont want me. Word has gotten out I'll make em fat.

 

[RottenWillow]

It'd sure as hell save us a lot of money if I learned how to cook. We eat out like 4 nights week b/c neither of us wants to eat my shit food.

 

[bigtravis]

They make meal kits now for the womeeenz that can't boil water.

 

[calveless wonder]

what a fake beaner

 

[musclemom]

Married at 18, learned a few tricks, e.g., spaghetti night:
1. Never try to make pasta from scratch.
2. Ditto for sauce, seriously. You find a sauce you already like and "tweak it" (add pan seared meats and/or mushrooms, herbs, etc.)
3. Roasted garlic is a gift of the gods even if it does give you more gas than Getty. Roast two heads, emulsify one head into the sauce, emulsify the other into a couple Tb. of butter. Add a hefty pinch of oregano to the garlic butter, heat rolls in oven wrapped in foil until the crust is crispy and the insides soft, split, smear on roasted garlic butter, dust heavily with parm, pop under broiler 5 minutes or so (watch it close). Voila, orgasm garlic toast, trust me.

Greatest meal on EARTH:
1. 1 Large roasted chicken, preferably a Purdue, ideally, get it from BJs or Walmart for $5.
2. Shitloads of roasted garlic (like 6 heads).
3. Mashed potatoes (use idaho bakers, actually, they make the best mashed potatoes) made with high fat Greek yogurt and butter.
4. Reheat bird in microwave once you've got the garlic and potatoes done.
5. Devour buffet style. Smear a slice of the chicken with a carmelized garlic clove, it totally meshes with the sour/salt/fat of the potatoes ... heaven.

Shoot me a PM if you want some other ideas. I'm big on simple meals that taste sinful (and usually, calorically, are). I have a squash soup that involves about three ingredients and a bit of work but tastes like harvest sex

 

[cryptosporidium]

practice grasshoppa.. it gets a lot easier once you have a few dishes under your belt.

taste it occasionally and always try to add less of an ingredient, you can always add more, but you cant subtract.

did you have a recipe laid out or did you wing it?

 

[RottenWillow]

practice grasshoppa.. it gets a lot easier once you have a few dishes under your belt.

taste it occasionally and always try to add less of an ingredient, you can always add more, but you cant subtract.

did you have a recipe laid out or did you wing it?

Admittedly, it was a wing it.

 

[UA_Iron]

Boil noodles. Fry some ground beef, heat up some sauce, add in meat.

Fuck, even a meathead like me can do it.

I dont like real food anymore - its just too inconvenient

 

[Mr. dB]

Unless the noodles are crunchy, they're not underdone.

 

[Mr. dB]

It'd sure as hell save us a lot of money if I learned how to cook. We eat out like 4 nights week b/c neither of us wants to eat my shit food.

You should be pounding out tortillas on a stone.

 

[binö]

one of the perks of marrying a latina was they could cook some good shit.
a latina with no cooking skills is a tanned white chic

 

[redsamurai]

I can live on lentils and brown rice. Cold lentil salad is the shit. If you don't overcook the lentils, meaning they're still just a tad crunchy which means you haven't cooked out all the enzymes...........like greatest healthiest food on earth. Add brown rice, some hard boiled eggs..........

 

[RottenWillow]

You should be pounding out tortillas on a stone.

I use a cast iron tortilla press.

 

[Dial_tone]

I used to make an AWESOME lasagna from a recipe on the noodle box; homemade sauce, everything. took like 2 1/2 hours...then the fuckers changed the box.

 

[cryptosporidium]

Admittedly, it was a wing it.

theres your problem chica. cruise the net and find a few similar recipes, note how they vary and give it another shot.. i guarantee itll work out this time.

theres one particular dish (which will remain nameless..) that took me over a year to learn how to cook up proper. but im so glad i stuck to it and conquered that fucker.

i loves ta cookings

 

[Smurfy]

i have a really good recipe for what us dagos call "quick spaghetti sauce" you make from scratch. Perhaps I'll pass it on. its easy and takes a little over an hour to make. soooo good.

I dont particularly love to cook. I make a few things but I only cook the simple stuff. Mostly because Im lazy.

 

[stilleto]

RW, I could give you a bunch of easy to follow 'recipes' (really, instructions) to follow for GREAT, easy meals.
I've been cooking for 20 years and haven't killed anyone yet.*


*not with my cooking at least.

 

[chris302001]

i have a really good recipe for what us dagos call "quick spaghetti sauce" you make from scratch. Perhaps I'll pass it on. its easy and takes a little over an hour to make. soooo good.

I dont particularly love to cook. I make a few things but I only cook the simple stuff. Mostly because Im lazy.

I do!

 

[musclemom]

This whole thread reminds me of the time my mother got "creative" with lasagna ... she had the best of intentions, and was kind of trying to use up leftovers. See, she was actually a pretty good cook and a great baker, but sometimes when she got experimental shit just went south. Anyway, the primary cheese in this lasagna was Blue Cheese, and yes, it was just as bad as you could imagine.

I have no idea how many times we laughed over that frigging lasagna in the ensuing years. I still remember sitting around the dinner table and the looks on everyone's faces as they took their first bites, priceless ...

Bah, now I miss my mother.

 

[wootoom]

Hi Rottenwillow!!!