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Long Distance Relationships....
- Thread starter Night Fly
- Start date
i don't find it hard.. but i'm not a type of person that needs somebody.
this is also an ongoing type of deal where she lived in *** i lived in ***, then she moved out with me, then we moved to ***, then here, then she went back to ***, now i'm moving back out to ***.
but when we were "together" and not living together, we'd see each other at least every 4-5 weeks... which makes it easier.
how far apart are you guys?
this is also an ongoing type of deal where she lived in *** i lived in ***, then she moved out with me, then we moved to ***, then here, then she went back to ***, now i'm moving back out to ***.
but when we were "together" and not living together, we'd see each other at least every 4-5 weeks... which makes it easier.
how far apart are you guys?
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Night Fly
New member
Umm....not too far. He is in Chicago and I am in Eastern TN. It is about a 10 hour drive and a 50 min flight. I have just never attempted a LD relationship before...I feel like I will be able to handle it...
I don't NEED someone, either...I just like to have someone around, you know? I communicate very well and am bluntly honest, so we shouldn't have a problem in those areas.
I hope that we will be able to see each other that often....even if it is for 2-3 days at a time. There are also holidays to visit....I am trying to think very optimistically about this.
I don't NEED someone, either...I just like to have someone around, you know? I communicate very well and am bluntly honest, so we shouldn't have a problem in those areas.
I hope that we will be able to see each other that often....even if it is for 2-3 days at a time. There are also holidays to visit....I am trying to think very optimistically about this.
well here's a little more history...
it's been a two year type of ordeal...
i met her in ***
then she flew back out 3 weeks later
then i flew out there 4 weeks later
then she flew back 3 weeks later
then she moved out 4 weeks later
then we lived together for 6 months in ***
then we lived together in *** for 2 months
then we lived in **** for 4 months
then i wanted to be single so i shipped her back
then we didn't talk for about 5 months
then i called her to say i was sorry for the way i handled things (i was an ass)
then she flew out a few days later
then she we met up in *** 4 weeks later
then she flew out 5 weeks later
then i flew out the 4 weeks later
now she's flying out after 4 weeks
then we're driving back out that way in a week.
it's been a two year type of ordeal...
i met her in ***
then she flew back out 3 weeks later
then i flew out there 4 weeks later
then she flew back 3 weeks later
then she moved out 4 weeks later
then we lived together for 6 months in ***
then we lived together in *** for 2 months
then we lived in **** for 4 months
then i wanted to be single so i shipped her back
then we didn't talk for about 5 months
then i called her to say i was sorry for the way i handled things (i was an ass)
then she flew out a few days later
then she we met up in *** 4 weeks later
then she flew out 5 weeks later
then i flew out the 4 weeks later
now she's flying out after 4 weeks
then we're driving back out that way in a week.
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when did you guys meet.. how long has it been going on?
if it's something that has been going on and one party parted way and took off without asking the other to come.. i'd be hesitant to give you any good news... (i've been there too).
if you just met while on vacation or something i'd be optimistic..
it's fun it's exciting.
give it a few months after seeing each other every few weeks then move out there..
fuck it... what have you got to lose?
if it's something that has been going on and one party parted way and took off without asking the other to come.. i'd be hesitant to give you any good news... (i've been there too).
if you just met while on vacation or something i'd be optimistic..
it's fun it's exciting.
give it a few months after seeing each other every few weeks then move out there..
fuck it... what have you got to lose?
Night Fly
New member
Well, we have been talking about 4 months, but just met last week (we met each other through my parents....it's a fucked up story). We have spent the last two weeks together and it has been wonderful.
I normally wouldn't hesitate to moving up there, BUT I only have a year and a half left in nursing school here (and transferring to a different nsg school is almost impossible because they don't like transfers in that program). PLUS, he just got a new teaching job and also a new coaching job...SO...we both have our priorities in each town. I think it would be possible for him to move down here after a year...but I don't know if we could pull off a LDR for a year and a half. That could get quite expensive.
And, yes, Chicago is an expensive place....
I normally wouldn't hesitate to moving up there, BUT I only have a year and a half left in nursing school here (and transferring to a different nsg school is almost impossible because they don't like transfers in that program). PLUS, he just got a new teaching job and also a new coaching job...SO...we both have our priorities in each town. I think it would be possible for him to move down here after a year...but I don't know if we could pull off a LDR for a year and a half. That could get quite expensive.
And, yes, Chicago is an expensive place....
well i wouldn't try to set out any "communication protocol" or anything.. if you want to talk.. talk. if you don't... don't. you'll talk so don't worry about it.
but what i can say is that it will be hard if you're talking about not seeing each other for over 6 weeks at a time.
after 5 weeks it's hard to understand what is really on the other side of the line.. you know what i mean? you only get one part of a relationship - the conversation. which most the time isn't great.. it's what did you do today, what are you doing now, how's the family yada yada yada.
with out the other pieces of the puzzle (physical aspects as well as true interaction and doing things together) things start slipping away and eyes start to wonder.
but what i can say is that it will be hard if you're talking about not seeing each other for over 6 weeks at a time.
after 5 weeks it's hard to understand what is really on the other side of the line.. you know what i mean? you only get one part of a relationship - the conversation. which most the time isn't great.. it's what did you do today, what are you doing now, how's the family yada yada yada.
with out the other pieces of the puzzle (physical aspects as well as true interaction and doing things together) things start slipping away and eyes start to wonder.
Night Fly
New member
So you are saying that once a month is an 'at least' thing when talking about seeing one another??? I think we could pull that off. I think plane tickets are only about 99 bucks to Chicago through Southwest. I could definitely do that.
He is a triathlete, also, so he travels alot for races. He is planning on doing several down here...
He is a triathlete, also, so he travels alot for races. He is planning on doing several down here...
chicago is expensive for a reason - it's fun. it's worth the price (i'm moving to fricking **** - tell me about expensive - phewww)
if you usually don't hesitate, don't hesitate. do it.
start contacting schools in the area and see how well they will work with you.. so what if you get set back 6 months or so.
i've been transferring schools forever - i'm about to attend my 7th and i've lost a shit ton of credits... but you know what - i got my degree in life a long time ago and wouldn't swap a masters for everything else i've done........ ever.
are you sure he wants to move down there?
all i got to say is it is worth taking the chance, packing up and moving out rather than sitting around 5 years from now thinking "what if"
if you usually don't hesitate, don't hesitate. do it.
start contacting schools in the area and see how well they will work with you.. so what if you get set back 6 months or so.
i've been transferring schools forever - i'm about to attend my 7th and i've lost a shit ton of credits... but you know what - i got my degree in life a long time ago and wouldn't swap a masters for everything else i've done........ ever.
are you sure he wants to move down there?
all i got to say is it is worth taking the chance, packing up and moving out rather than sitting around 5 years from now thinking "what if"
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Night Fly
New member
You have some very good advice and I thank you for helping me with this. It has been on my mind non-stop since he left.
I do not usually hesitate to do anything...(unless it's something that could get me into trouble)...so I probably won't hesitate with this.
You are right about looking up schools...I could do that, but I have an advantage down here, because my parents are able to pay for my school...and will be able to until I graduate. I don't know how they could handle out-of-state tuition or anything like that. Who knows....I could take out a loan if I needed to, I guess.
I am sure there are ways to make everything work...you just have to be willing to sacrafice quite a bit.
About him moving down here...I have not (and I will not) bring this up to him...if we ever discuss it, he will have to initiate the conversation. I would not want him to do something just for me...he would have to want to, you know?
I do not usually hesitate to do anything...(unless it's something that could get me into trouble)...so I probably won't hesitate with this.
You are right about looking up schools...I could do that, but I have an advantage down here, because my parents are able to pay for my school...and will be able to until I graduate. I don't know how they could handle out-of-state tuition or anything like that. Who knows....I could take out a loan if I needed to, I guess.
I am sure there are ways to make everything work...you just have to be willing to sacrafice quite a bit.
About him moving down here...I have not (and I will not) bring this up to him...if we ever discuss it, he will have to initiate the conversation. I would not want him to do something just for me...he would have to want to, you know?
no, it won't be...
you'll know and he'll know when the time is right you guys either know you can't live without being together or just know that there is no chance at ever making it work if you don't live together.
unfortunately, for me.. it's the latter
. kinda a last resort type thing.. but we'll see. ya never know what's going to happen, if you take chances that is (because you can always control what's going to happen if you never take chances, keep the same circle of friends, and never move out of your hometown).
you'll know and he'll know when the time is right you guys either know you can't live without being together or just know that there is no chance at ever making it work if you don't live together.
unfortunately, for me.. it's the latter
. kinda a last resort type thing.. but we'll see. ya never know what's going to happen, if you take chances that is (because you can always control what's going to happen if you never take chances, keep the same circle of friends, and never move out of your hometown).
satanic goatslayer
New member
Night Fly said:
Random sex and mutilation.
Night Fly
New member
Well, I see what you are saying. I hope that you and your girl will be able to finally settle down in one place with each other.
About the living together thing...my parents are totally against that (they are cool, so they might be able to be persuaded). I think it is a good idea, but I like to have my alone time, too. I think it's a good thing that he isn't in my town because I have school/working out to focus on and I don't need any major distractions....so I think that is a good outlook on it.
Taking chances...I am the queen of taking chances!
Thanks again...
About the living together thing...my parents are totally against that (they are cool, so they might be able to be persuaded). I think it is a good idea, but I like to have my alone time, too. I think it's a good thing that he isn't in my town because I have school/working out to focus on and I don't need any major distractions....so I think that is a good outlook on it.
Taking chances...I am the queen of taking chances!
Thanks again...
havoc
Shaolin Ninja
Night Fly- as far as stats and the majority goes, long distance relationships dont work out, however, your relationship could be special and different, the odds are against you, I have tried this 3 different times with 3 sincerely special woman in my life and it just did not work, its sort of a crutch until you meet someone who is 10 minutes away with all the same positive attributes of homeboy who is in another state. Here is what you should do. Be genuine to him, be honest, be loyal but if someone comes along that can match or even attract you more then make your choice. Good luck. peace
Kryp2o
New member
Night Fly said:Taking chances...I am the queen of taking chances!
Thanks again...
Hey there's someone I haven't spoken to in a little while. Night Fly what's up girl !
My advice from the King of taking chances:
I haven't had any experience with long distance relationships, but I can tell you from recent experience DON'T LEAVE TN. !!! With the exception of going to school, I wish I would have never left.
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I of course agree with KC..it can be done. It's not going to be easy...but nothing worth doing ever is. Just keep open lines of communication and you should be fine for the time being. Later on when the "who's moving where" questions come up it may be a bit more tricky...but hopefully not. If its right...you'll find a way.
Good Luck Flygirl...I hope you find happiness...even if it is in another state
Good Luck Flygirl...I hope you find happiness...even if it is in another state
Night Fly
New member
superdave said:
No, Dave...YOU would have...I only forget the people I choose to forget.
Havoc---thank you for the advice. I hope that we are able to be one of the 'few' that survive the long distance relationships.
Kryp2o---wish me luck...how have YOU been? Haven't talked with you in a while, I know. About leaving TN...it is a beautiful state, but I may move to somewhere else for a while and then move back. Who knows.
KC---you know that your reply means so much to me. I hate that I even have to say that I can relate to your and Frackal's relationship (not in the bad way), because I would rather have someone close. I know that you two will be okay...at least he gets to move down there in a month or so. I have at least a year to wait.
Hannibal---you are such a sweetheart. Thanks for the words of advice. And you know that I am a wonderful communicator! Open and honest...that's my policy.
Anyone else have anything else to say???
oompha-loompha
New member
I was in a long distance relationship about a year ago.
I think they could work if you want them to and givin that you put in the time and effort to make them happen successfully. It didn't work for me because
1. you dont know what she is doing all the time (or who) .
2 she dont know what your doing all the time.
Personally i got bored a couple of times, found a chick and had some fun
know what im sayin.
But if she only didn't find out hehe
I think they could work if you want them to and givin that you put in the time and effort to make them happen successfully. It didn't work for me because
1. you dont know what she is doing all the time (or who) .
2 she dont know what your doing all the time.
Personally i got bored a couple of times, found a chick and had some fun
know what im sayin.But if she only didn't find out
hehe
M
madbomber31
Guest
i'm still picking up the pieces to my heart...
HeavyDutyGuy
New member
I've been in one for over a year and half. It has been hard , she flew out twice last year for two weeks each time, then I flew out the last three times and am trying to land a job. I am moving out there, but my ex is fighting the kids going, even though they want to go and don't want to live with her. It's very hard and I made an exception for this woman, I woulnd't do it again.
MaGilicuti
New member
WizKid25 said:
he?
Your_Moms_Kneepads
New member
Commenting other than the situation, if the area is expensive work a year or two in an area that you want,ect and then work Per Diem (float pool), you'll be able to work whenever you want with little restriction other than minimum requirements and you will make ALOT MORE MONEY.Night Fly said:
I've been an RN for 6 years this month-it's a screwed up way of life-I'll give you that much.
Night Fly
New member
Your_Moms_Kneepads said:
Commenting other than the situation, if the area is expensive work a year or two in an area that you want,ect and then work Per Diem (float pool), you'll be able to work whenever you want with little restriction other than minimum requirements and you will make ALOT MORE MONEY.
I've been an RN for 6 years this month-it's a screwed up way of life-I'll give you that much.
Yes, it is a screwed up way of life (I am not even a nurse yet, but working in a hospital, I can tell that), BUT...like you said....you can make alot of money working in certain areas. I am interested in flight nursing, and I hear that travel nurses are making a ton of money right now. I think that will be the way I'm going to go until I want to settle down with a family. who knows.
Do you enjoy being an RN???
Another plus for me, is the fact that plane tickets are only $100 to Chicago on Southwest. Not bad at all, if you ask me.
