Long Distance Relationships....

[Night Fly]

Well, we have been talking about 4 months, but just met last week (we met each other through my parents....it's a fucked up story). We have spent the last two weeks together and it has been wonderful.

I normally wouldn't hesitate to moving up there, BUT I only have a year and a half left in nursing school here (and transferring to a different nsg school is almost impossible because they don't like transfers in that program). PLUS, he just got a new teaching job and also a new coaching job...SO...we both have our priorities in each town. I think it would be possible for him to move down here after a year...but I don't know if we could pull off a LDR for a year and a half. That could get quite expensive.

And, yes, Chicago is an expensive place....

 

[decem]

well i wouldn't try to set out any "communication protocol" or anything.. if you want to talk.. talk. if you don't... don't. you'll talk so don't worry about it.

but what i can say is that it will be hard if you're talking about not seeing each other for over 6 weeks at a time.

after 5 weeks it's hard to understand what is really on the other side of the line.. you know what i mean? you only get one part of a relationship - the conversation. which most the time isn't great.. it's what did you do today, what are you doing now, how's the family yada yada yada.

with out the other pieces of the puzzle (physical aspects as well as true interaction and doing things together) things start slipping away and eyes start to wonder.

 

[Night Fly]

So you are saying that once a month is an 'at least' thing when talking about seeing one another??? I think we could pull that off. I think plane tickets are only about 99 bucks to Chicago through Southwest. I could definitely do that.

He is a triathlete, also, so he travels alot for races. He is planning on doing several down here...

 

[decem]

chicago is expensive for a reason - it's fun. it's worth the price (i'm moving to fricking **** - tell me about expensive - phewww)

if you usually don't hesitate, don't hesitate. do it.

start contacting schools in the area and see how well they will work with you.. so what if you get set back 6 months or so.

i've been transferring schools forever - i'm about to attend my 7th and i've lost a shit ton of credits... but you know what - i got my degree in life a long time ago and wouldn't swap a masters for everything else i've done........ ever.

are you sure he wants to move down there?

all i got to say is it is worth taking the chance, packing up and moving out rather than sitting around 5 years from now thinking "what if"

 

[Night Fly]

You have some very good advice and I thank you for helping me with this. It has been on my mind non-stop since he left.

I do not usually hesitate to do anything...(unless it's something that could get me into trouble)...so I probably won't hesitate with this.

You are right about looking up schools...I could do that, but I have an advantage down here, because my parents are able to pay for my school...and will be able to until I graduate. I don't know how they could handle out-of-state tuition or anything like that. Who knows....I could take out a loan if I needed to, I guess.

I am sure there are ways to make everything work...you just have to be willing to sacrafice quite a bit.

About him moving down here...I have not (and I will not) bring this up to him...if we ever discuss it, he will have to initiate the conversation. I would not want him to do something just for me...he would have to want to, you know?

 

[decem]

.I have not (and I will not) bring this up to him...if we ever discuss it, he will have to initiate the conversation. I would not want him to do something just for me...he would have to want to, you know?

what if he is thinking the same thing?

 

[Night Fly]

what if he is thinking the same thing?

Shit...I didn't even think about that...you got me there.

I guess eventually it is going to have to be brought up...It probably isn't nearly as hard as I think it would be...

 

[decem]

no, it won't be...

you'll know and he'll know when the time is right you guys either know you can't live without being together or just know that there is no chance at ever making it work if you don't live together.

unfortunately, for me.. it's the latter . kinda a last resort type thing.. but we'll see. ya never know what's going to happen, if you take chances that is (because you can always control what's going to happen if you never take chances, keep the same circle of friends, and never move out of your hometown).

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Any suggestions for having a successful one???

Random sex and mutilation.

 

[Night Fly]

Well, I see what you are saying. I hope that you and your girl will be able to finally settle down in one place with each other.

About the living together thing...my parents are totally against that (they are cool, so they might be able to be persuaded). I think it is a good idea, but I like to have my alone time, too. I think it's a good thing that he isn't in my town because I have school/working out to focus on and I don't need any major distractions....so I think that is a good outlook on it.

Taking chances...I am the queen of taking chances!

Thanks again...