1. 28 and a virgin. Not only a virgin but has never had any physical contact with a female. Yes, you read that write. Hes not gay to the best of my knowledge based on his choice of porn and he is waaaaaaaay too sloppy apartment.
2. Works at the typical shitty dead end warehouse type job for a huge electronic retailer. The company doesnt give raises, and they came right out and said to everyone "We dont give raises" and my bro still doesnt give a shit and has been there for 4 years. He makes $8.50 an hour AFTER 4 years. As a result he is constantly needing financial assistance every month from our parents. The I-cant-pay-rent type of assistance.
3. No education. He barely got a HS diploma by the will of my parents forcing his ass through. He just tried to take a little dink remedial algebra class at the community college in an attempt to get back into school. Just one class, failed it. Thats it for college apparently. I told him I hope he enjoys staying at his dogshit job for 20 years. Before anyone chimes in and says "I didnt go to college and I did fine", thats your situation. My bro hasnt got the interpersonal skills to save his life and he couldnt sell food to tourists marooned on a deserted island. That means he needs some letters after his name to go anywhere in life.
4. His apartment. Which used to be my apartment until he took it over 2 years ago when I left to go back to school. There is a massive permanent jizz stain right under his computer desk where the feet of his chair sits. Its from 2 years of sitting there and cranking it and not cleaning up. I know this is true because years ago we lived together. He has unpacked boxes from 2 years ago just sitting in the middle of the apartment (its an efficiency) and bags from fast food randomly laying around. His small refridgerator door wont close because the frost built up so much that he shoved a large computer monitor against the door to keep it closed. Im not shitting you on that part. The kitchen is in a perfect time warp from when I left it in July 2004. The dishes are still in the dishwasher from the last time I left over two years ago. I dont think hes touched anything in the kitchen from when I was last there.
5. Hygeine. Or a severe lack of. The one time I stayed over at his place I got up to take a shower and he had no towels clean so I had to use a sweater or some damn shit. He said he hasnt done laundry in a while and when he takes a shower he just stands there and air dries before leaving the bathroom. He has no deodorant. He doesnt brush his teeth and constantly has chunks of foodstuff in his teeth. I dont how often he actually bathes and I dont ask.
6. Relations with family. Whenever all the family gets together he never says anything and its VERY hard for him to be sociable, with family anyway. If hes not around any of us he could be tony fuckin robbins for all i know but Im going to go out on limb and say no on that one. Ive made efforts to do brotherly and buddy type things with him but to no avail. In fact he never calls me just because Im his bro and the one time he called me this summer was because I was in a bad car wreck and had to go to the ER. Yes, it took something like that just for him to call. We live about 45 minutes apart, thats it. And before you ask, Im a cool brother in the first place so theres no reason for him to hate me.
That should cover it. Its been that way all of our adult lives. All I ever wanted was a decent bro to do bro things with. Ive known him 28 years and hes a virtual stranger.
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