Is this f**ked up or is it just me?

[Thandie]

It sounds as if the mother took the bag and perhaps other things dissapearing from your closet. The big give away was "you have so many". Before I finished reading, I kind of thought she took it. Either she's jealous of your things or she's a clepto..
That would really piss me off.

 

[Arabian]

She appears to be jealous of the fact that you recieve clothes . handbags and nice thing. She is stealing your items getting back at you. She resents you because she feels you have to much and you are a financial burden on her son

 

[Mr. dB]

So today my "other half" comes to my office with a Christmas Bag and says that his mom forgot to give me part of my xmas gifts. I gave him the WTF are you talking about look and inside the bag was my bag with the silk cover over it and he said that his mother won't say where she found it. Dumbfounded I thanked him and he said no to thank his mother.

Or she did tell him where she "found" it, and he's covering for her because he's embarrassed. I think it's odd that she knew you were missing the bag, why would he would bother to tell her, unless he already had his suspicions?

I'd let this one go, but keep an eye out for a pattern. I don't think it's worth ending a relationship if the guy is covering for his clepto mom, unless there are other problems as well.

 

[Cutiebaby]

For the holidays I wanted to use a specific handbag that was given to me last year for my birthday by my "other half" and on Christmas Day when I wanted to use it but it was no where to be found.

Pre story - I took a bedroom and made it into a walk in closet earlier this year so every would have a place and I remember going through every piece of clothing, every shoe and every bag before putting them into the new closet. Most of my better bags have silk or cotton sac to protect them.

So back to the bag - it's MIA and of course I really annoyed because I've been noticing things missing and all the while I'm wondering if I'm just starting to loose it.

On the way to dinner we're in the car picking up his mom and we go back by the house to get a camera and when I got back into the car his mother says to me, "my son tells me you can't find one of your bags" and I say yes and how I'm really disappointed because it was a bag that I purposely did not want to get dirty because it was suede and a limited edition. So she says, "well you have so many". At the time I didn't even think about the comment but later that night I was like what a fucked up thing to say.

So while working the day before last he calls me and says that they looked in all the closets and could not find it anywhere and that I should try the basement. What they didn't know is that I Christmas night I was so upset about it that I had already checked all the closets and basement because I couldn't sleep. So I just said, yah I'll do that.

So today my "other half" comes to my office with a Christmas Bag and says that his mom forgot to give me part of my xmas gifts. I gave him the WTF are you talking about look and inside the bag was my bag with the silk cover over it and he said that his mother won't say where she found it. Dumbfounded I thanked him and he said no to thank his mother.

Call me crazy but that just confirmed all my suspicious as to where the disappearing items go to and the only reason I got it back is because she didn't think I'd notice it missing and she decided to give it back.

Please be honest - if you think I'm crazy to think what I am think tell me if you agree tell me or if something completely different say it - don't sugar coat it

Why the hell would she wrap up something that she knew you were looking for? Why not have your SO call and be like "Babe my mom was cleaning out whereever and found your bag I will bring it to you or put it where you can find it when you get home"...Makes no sense that she would find it when you searched the whole house looking for it. Not to mention the wrapping it, at first she made it out like it was a nothing and you would be fine without it why would she change her tune from the "you have too many" to the "Oh dear I found her bag let me suprise her"...Makes me thing guilt if you ask me my opinion..Not that I want to make you think bad about the SO's mom, but maybe she does take things as she feels you could be a clutter bug or possibly spoiled? Who knows, but no you do not sound crazy in fact it makes sense that something is off here.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Obviously there is more to the story.

Vel, if I were in your shoes I would give my husband ONE CHANCE to come clean, calmly but forcefully tell him that he had better volunteer the 100% about his role in the situation. If he did not then I seriously would question his loyalty to ME. A man is supposed to leave his family when he takes a wife and forms a new family of his own, at least that is common behavior in US society as well as eastern european (my tradition). If he puts his mother before his wife EVER - he will ALWAYS, bad, bad, bad.

Now if he DID confess, regardless of how bad it was, I would cut him a lot of slack because regardless of what he did before, at least he came clean NOW.

Then I would tell him that he MUST tell his mother that she is NEVER welcome over our home again. He could either tell her the truth or make up some bullshit, wouldn't matter to me as long as he makes it abundantly clear that while you will still continue to socialize with her at family outtings NEVER will she come to your home.

If he won't, then I would and I would make it VERY real = not pretty.

Sorry to hear about it but believe it or not I have heard/seen similar situations. Some families are just whack like that. But we all get to choose where we will draw the line... don't we?

 

[walliwalibus]

LOL at guy tellin' you he is single.

Wow, this sux. But the truth is there. And kinda gift wrapped? That is kinda strange behavior. Question it but be careful. And listen to BM as it's good advise there. BTW, I am single ya know.... LOL

 

[gotmilk]

Your mother-in-law just re-gifted your own gift. Make sure you send her a thank you bullet.

Try this one. I have two snowmobiles locked in my garage. My cousin, who I talk to once a year decides to stop by my house, "borrow" my snowmobiles even though I am not home, and did so by using a screwdriver on my garage door lock.

And now....I'm the family asshole because I threatened to call the cops on him. Nevermind that my garage door is broken, I have a very expensive car in the garage, and the door remained open while I was gone for the weekend. Plus, the door from my garage to my house was left unlocked.

 

[velvett]

She appears to be jealous of the fact that you recieve clothes . handbags and nice thing. She is stealing your items getting back at you. She resents you because she feels you have to much and you are a financial burden on her son

Nah.

I don't get a lot gifts - two bags total and that was only because he begged me to pick one out - apparently I am hard to shop for. :dunno:

Everything I own I have purchased myself with my own earned money and while I might not have a lot of things they are all quality.

As for being a burden we split all the bills and I earn more than both; if anyone is a burden to anyone it's his loser brother who at 40 something doesn't have job and hasn't since high school, who mooches off of mother and brother and does nothing but lie and disappoint over and over again (and rightfully so as no own is willing to say no to him).

Good blanket statement though, unfortunately it doesn't apply here.

I could see her resenting me though, I have not been shy in telling her straight up lately as to what I think about her other son when she cries and moans everytime he lets her down.

Just recently, he promised to do work on her house, she ordered all the materials and he insisted that she leave everything outside for him, borrows her car (because he already trashed the one she bought him this summer) and was MIA with her car until the following morning. Sure enough we had a bout of really bad weather and all the mdf wainscotting was soaked and ruined. When she came to me to complain about him I asked her what the definition of insanity was, when I told her she shut up about him.

Personally I'm with Gotmilk when it comes to theives.

 

[velvett]

So I did ask the other half where the bag was and he said it was in the basement in plain sight and they didn't want to tell me to save me from being embarrassed.

I told him that that's bullshit because I already searched the basement Christmas day while he was asleep and dropped the topic.

I'm not sure which one I'm more angry with right now - it really has less to do about a bag and has everything to do with knowing that not only do I come last in my relationship I can trust anyone either and that's really f**ked up.

 

[velvett]

Why the hell would she wrap up something that she knew you were looking for? Why not have your SO call and be like "Babe my mom was cleaning out whereever and found your bag I will bring it to you or put it where you can find it when you get home"...Makes no sense that she would find it when you searched the whole house looking for it. Not to mention the wrapping it, at first she made it out like it was a nothing and you would be fine without it why would she change her tune from the "you have too many" to the "Oh dear I found her bag let me suprise her"...Makes me thing guilt if you ask me my opinion..Not that I want to make you think bad about the SO's mom, but maybe she does take things as she feels you could be a clutter bug or possibly spoiled? Who knows, but no you do not sound crazy in fact it makes sense that something is off here.

Exactly.

I'm definely not a clutter bug but I at this point I wouldn't be surprised if she thought I was spoiled (which would be ironic considering what I think of her other son).