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Is everything forgivable?

wtf is wrong with you

you'd rather have pics of spandex than bikini pics of wife, ok sounds good bro
 
blueta2 said:
hate helps me survive emotional pain, but never keeps me warm.

I hate that I hate, it's not my style and makes me feel sickly.
My ex who almost gave me hiv, even after 12 yrs of me leaving, I still get these intense moment of hate for him. Where do you start to forgive that to get the toxins of hate out of the mind?
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not sure if anyone's said this yet, but why do you need to forgive someone for "almost" giving you HIV? He didn't give it to you, so it sounds like you don't have anything to forgive on those grounds. If he had given it to you then you would have something to consider forgiving. You should be thankful you didn't get HIV from him (assuming he has HIV) instead of being angry you almost got it.
 
blueta2 said:
yes, agreed!
I can forgive, but I struggle with not being able to forgive some. Why can I forgive some and not others?
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ftlgxs.jpg
 
wootoom said:
fuck my ex cheated on me with 2 kids....i dont think i could ever forgive her
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Your ex banged 2 kids? How old were the kids?
 
I leave for a few hours and you all taint up my thread with pics. I will never forgive any of you!!!!

Actually, I love pics. I only got to see one of Plank and his wife. Way cuter than I expected him to be. I expected green pus coming out of his face and half his head missing. But I have to say, smoking hot he is!

Shirl and Iggy, maybe we aren't built to forgive everything? I just feel like if I did, I would find more peace

CEO: why, well this was my common law husband of 11 yrs and we had a full life together and I was in SHOCK he knowingly was sleeping with a taint with hiv unprotected for an entire yr and then would come home and have sex with me unprotected. Yes, I didn't get HIV thank GOD, but that betrayal ran so deep, I couldn't see straight for years. He was my best friend, business partner and the man I thought I was going to be with forever.
It was just all so bizarre!

Now I want to see ER and his wife pics.....................NOW OR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE
 
well you can still pay me the money difference if you want. cause the denali is worth a whole lot more then my piece of shit, just sayin
 
i saw a denali at the gym today. gotta be honest - i did think of you and was a lil jelly.
 
ceo said:
not sure if anyone's said this yet, but why do you need to forgive someone for "almost" giving you HIV? He didn't give it to you, so it sounds like you don't have anything to forgive on those grounds. If he had given it to you then you would have something to consider forgiving. You should be thankful you didn't get HIV from him (assuming he has HIV) instead of being angry you almost got it.
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So the stress and anxiety while you're worrying that you slept with someone with HIV does not count while you wait for the results because he lied to her about it? Come on, CEO. Lol. :)
 
Cindy, the first 2 weeks waiting for the first test results, were the hardest days of my life. Then I had to get retested for the next 6 months.
BRUTAL! Not to mention, I left our business and got a job 3 days after the break up and was at a new job while waiting for the blood results.
Yep, was a hard time!

He ended up marrying her cause she gave him some good old hiv!
 
cindylou said:
Okay, this is a total ADD post...lol. I'm everywhere. I read once that most predators don't know they are predators, and most prey don't know they're prey. You give someone access to delicate parts of your soul and they damaged it. Since I believe we are more than just our bodies, I think while people can hurt and kill someone physically, people can damage and try to kill someone's spirit or soul.

I think it's difficult because you were with him for so long and exposed to it for so long. It was truly traumatic for you, I truly believe that. I think it's comfortable because we want to think that all people have good in them, all problems can be solved, good will always win in the end, won't accept that some of us are just play things for sadistic people, and forces; just objects to them. We have to accept that these people exist and there is nothing we can do about it, and we don't want to. We want to hold them responsible, tell them how they are, why can't they see their disorder? It will drive us mad if we do this for too long, they will never see it. Sam Vankin calls it malignant optimism. Lol. I have it, I have this need to believe that good will always win over evil (it will) and order will always win over disorder, but I think some of us seem to delude ourselves into thinking we can control that victory in others ourselves when we can't. They have magical thinking but so do we. We don't want to accept that they are sick, we want to hold them responsible. When I was a kid I was exposed to someone that was really sick and fugged me up a little but instead of taking it personally I decided the person was sick and that I didn't want to internalize the sick just because I was exposed to the sick. I just sorta absorbed it, but I didn't keep it internalized. Pity is the word I'm looking for. Pity for him and sorrow for the world and humans as sick and cruel as we can be towards each other.

You've gone through all the stages of moving on. You've replenished your self esteem and grieved the person you were that trust and loved with innocence. You still have empathy, you're still able to feel love, even feel hate. Shouldn't we pity those who can't feel? They are miserable creatures; creating hell on earth for themselves, and they'll never have the ability to realize it. They will never get better unless by the grace and mercy of God. What a terrible, hellish, burning miserable existence. It makes my heart burn when I think these people live like this. This personal hell does not need a lock and chain on it's doors, these people don't want out.

No matter what anyone does to you they can not take away your ability to do good. You don't find forgiveness, just the place where you give it; it's an act of your own free will. We have the ability to hurt others just like others hurt us. If we see ourselves in them, we can see that they are just afraid; they have their own wounds, just like we do, we do and have hurt others too. Then, we will be able to see in ourselves our own inner darkness and allow our higher power (or ourselves, whatever your flavor) to give us the thing we always wanted ; real love.

Most people don't realize once they are in an intimate relationship that the other person you're with has given you access to their emotional pathways, access to the most vulnerable parts of their soul, and we have to watch who we give that access to ourselves, so we can never forget. So, while we have to guard our hearts we have to guard their hearts too (those who give us access to their hearts) With two people guarding and caring about the other person's heart and soul as much, even more than their own, I don't see how you can go wrong because there is no selfishness in that place and there is real agape divine love. Peter Kreeft calls that love hard and precious, like a diamond and I won't allow myself to love anyone again that can't grasp that.
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tldr.jpg
 
It's all about personal responsibility..when you sleep with someone then you assume the risk; Wiminz can make a jimmy hat the precondition to copulation; The fact they chose to raw dawg it...
 
Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 103:12
as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
 
cindylou said:
So the stress and anxiety while you're worrying that you slept with someone with HIV does not count while you wait for the results because he lied to her about it? Come on, CEO. Lol. :)
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It was 15 years ago. After 6 months and still testing negative, she could have breathed a big sigh of relief and said, "thank god, no POZ and thank god I got rid of him."

It's the infidelity that apparently is the unforgivable sin committed here. But blue admitted to infidelity at least once herself. She forgave herself.

Blue, what if your infidelity resulted in a POZzing or teh herp? Could you have forgiven yourself? What if it almost did? Could you forgive yourself? How do you know it almost didn't?
 
*ebony* said:
ah ok. any other way to have sex or not?
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If you want a child ..maybe you should choose someone you can live with as the father...Having a kid is a choice and never an "accident"...I've womanized enough to understand the difference between casual sex and entrapment.
 
ceo said:
It was 15 years ago. After 6 months and still testing negative, she could have breathed a big sigh of relief and said, "thank god, no POZ and thank god I got rid of him."

It's the infidelity that apparently is the unforgivable sin committed here. But blue admitted to infidelity at least once herself. She forgave herself.

Blue, what if your infidelity resulted in a POZzing or teh herp? Could you have forgiven yourself? What if it almost did? Could you forgive yourself? How do you know it almost didn't?
Click to expand...

No no no no. Its clearly the fact that he cared so little about her or was so utterly selfish that he slept with her knowing he had HIV that is the unforgivable sin. That is some serious betrayal; more so than the scope of infidelity. That is also a second degree felony too, btw.

Are men and women really this different?
 
In Blues defense, it was I believe her hubby. Why would she think, hey he is prolly cheating on me so I should use protection. I think when you get married you aren't as concerned as when you are running around sleeping with randoms each night. If I were Blue i'd been pissed too. The fuck nob was cheating on her and he should not have done what he did.
 
cindylou said:
No no no no. Its clearly the fact that he cared so little about her or was so utterly selfish that he slept with her knowing he had HIV that is the unforgivable sin. That is some serious betrayal; more so than the scope of infidelity. That is also a second degree felony too, btw.

Are men and women really this different?
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CEO what Cindy said and I used protection when I cheated.
Anyone who doesn't use protection when they knowingly have an STD is mentally disturbed, for real!
 
LMAO, I have had people make fun of me cause my only sexual partner has been my wife. OMG, the shit I don't have to worry about, hahahahah. I'll always take my lifestyle thank you. Abstenince betches is where it's at, fuck yo std's
 
ER, and if I could have had is that way, I would have. I thought the man I was with for 11 yrs was going to be the only man I was ever going to be with, but we can't control what happens many times.
If someone would have asked me in my 20's if now at 45, I would have been in 4 long term relationships with lots of dating in between, I would have never believed it.

It is what it is, but yes, you are in a good place to have had only one woman and be happy. It's truly a blessing
 
I think that type of betrayal is so serious I would put it next to rape.

To cheat on your spouse, get an STD, KNOW that you got it, and come home and have sex with them like nothing is up? That's next to fucking rape. Second degree felony bitches, someone does it to me I'll press charges

balee dat
 
blueta2 said:
ER, and if I could have had is that way, I would have. I thought the man I was with for 11 yrs was going to be the only man I was ever going to be with, but we can't control what happens many times.
If someone would have asked me in my 20's if now at 45, I would have been in 4 long term relationships with lots of dating in between, I would have never believed it.

It is what it is, but yes, you are in a good place to have had only one woman and be happy. It's truly a blessing
Click to expand...

refer to what i said about your situation around 10 posts ago.

i was refering to java talking about sleeping with tons of bitches
 
I was going to press charges on both him and his taint, but when the results came back negative, I decided I needed to move on and live my life. To be honest, I was suicidal at this point, having to leave my business, let him take some of the cats we shared and then had to go out and get a job after owning my own business for years, not to mention waiting to see if I was hiv positive. I was as fragile as a thread of baby hair.
Once I got strong again, I regretted not having them both arrested and suing them for everything.
But my lawyer said it would be tough to prove there was no condom involved.
I just moved on with my life. It took me 2 yrs to come out of the fog
 
EarthRider said:
refer to what i said about your situation around 10 posts ago.

i was refering to java talking about sleeping with tons of bitches
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oh ok
Well most single men sleep with tons of woman. And many do not use protection, even when they know they have an std.
 
phewww, this talk has made me not feel so great. Signing off the weekend folks. Happy Easter/Passover. Have a good one xoxox
 
cindylou said:
I think that type of betrayal is so serious I would put it next to rape.

To cheat on your spouse, get an STD, KNOW that you got it, and come home and have sex with them like nothing is up? That's next to fucking rape. Second degree felony bitches, someone does it to me I'll press charges

balee dat
Click to expand...

I agree. For me, it's the fact that it's so utterly malicious to knowingly expose someone to HIV like that
 
cindy, et.al. - I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with what he did. I'm saying it was 15 years ago and she can't forgive him over somethign that never happened. Be thankful and move on. Be so happy you didn't get POZZED, that you forgive his ass just so you don't have to deal with the feelings anymore...and move the fuck on.

Yes, I guess men and women are that different.
 
ceo said:
cindy, et.al. - I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with what he did. I'm saying it was 15 years ago and she can't forgive him over somethign that never happened. Be thankful and move on. Be so happy you didn't get POZZED, that you forgive his ass just so you don't have to deal with the feelings anymore...and move the fuck on.

Yes, I guess men and women are that different.
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Yeah, I agree completely. I think that's why she started the thread, I think that's what she wants to do.
 
I've never been in such a shitty situation but I cant stay angry for long, it's pretty hard to do for me, I have a "well fuck them then" kind of attitude when it comes to people trying to hurt me.
I also have the bad habit of excusing people "well maybe they didnt mean to" "maybe they were tired" "I caught them at a bad moment" etc but I think I do it for my own sanity more than anything, so I can just shrug it off
 
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wootoom said:
she recently got fake tits...shes blonde 100lbs....but the biggest snob on the earth...so take all the looks away and shes nothing
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Send me her info, I'll bang her.

Then, regardless of how it was, I'll tell you it was shitty and you won't feel like you're missing anything.
 
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I must lead a charmed life. I can imagine things that would be impossible for me to forgive, but no one's ever done anything to me that I didn't forgive immediately after they appologized.
 
I remember when Mitch sent me pics way back when he was exactly how I'd pictured him pretty much.
 
nydj66 said:
I must lead a charmed life. I can imagine things that would be impossible for me to forgive, but no one's ever done anything to me that I didn't forgive immediately after they appologized.
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Me too, but there are people out there that will never apologize because they don't feel guilt or remorse. If I get an honest, heartfelt apology and not crocodile tears; I'm over it immediately. I can't stand being mad.
 
ceo said:
I'd be relieved and overjoyed. I'd say, "I forgive you and I never want to see you or hear from you again." And, done.
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You can only know how you would react if it happened to you and I hope it never does.

On that note; seeing that it's Easter, though I am not religious, I am going to let it go and work on forgiveness.
My best friend lost her Mom unexpected last night and when I went to her house seeing her pain, I realized, life is too short to drag "shit" with me from my past.

So far, I've had a great weekend with my sister in town, my awesome boyfriend and my great family, so it's all good. I'm letting it go :-)

Love and Peace all (even you Chris and Plunk)
 
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