hardrock said:
So since the ex and I split about a month ago, i have become a waste of space. I barely train 2x a week. I eat shitty. I am depressed. Drink every weekend as if it will make things better. I need to get out of this run but it seems hopeless right now. I really miss my life with my ex and it's all I think about. Just about brings me to tears. Even having bad thoughts lately about life.
So I am going to see a Psycologist tomorrow in order to get in to a psychiatrists referral for my anxiety meds. I am wondering if I should even get into this shit with him. They will just want me to keep coming to deal with my issues, but I just want my script filled. Might need the help, but don't want to be put on any more meds. I'm on clonazepam for my anxiety btw.
It sux going from being in a relationship where you think you are unhappy to being out of one and truely unhappy.
Funny thing is you guys are really all I have to share this shit with. it used to be her. If I talk to my mom she will just worry.
Any words of wisdom for a guy down in the dumps?
I've been in your position bro. probably worse. I hate telling this story over and over again because i feel like it's a broken record, but you weren't around when i was going through all this shit so i figure i share it with you as it may help you.
I was with a girl that i loved for over 3 years...she was brilliant, absolutely stunning, fun, charismatic, passionate and thought the exact same way as me. We fell deeply in love instantly and thought we were soulmates. I thought she was a wonderful person and that we were going to be together forever. We more or less lived like a married couple and I was probably a year away from getting engaged to her. We always talked about our future plans and working towards building a great life together. She had alot of problems and baggage but i sacrificed my life to help her through it. In the process i destroyed my own life but i was able to help her through it and eventually rebound. She decided she wanted to go back to school (in another state where she had scholarships) and i at the time had a huge business opportunity and was working 12-14 hours. I paid for her to move back and supported her financially for most of the time we were together.
Well...about 6-7 months after she moved back to Atlanta i found out she had another boyfriend up there the entire time she was up there. Even though i would fly her down to see me and i was supporting her(financially and otherwise), she completely deceived me. I saw pictures of them together and she simply refered to me as "her boss" amongst her friends according to her myspace comments. She used me for the support and a safety blanket and went to great extents to hide everything. I had just bought her a car about 2 weeks before....on top of that she had our dog (which i wanted her to take up there so she wouldn't be alone) that was like a son to both of us. I realized i would never see him again after that
I honestly felt like someone reached into my body, grabbed my soul and ripped it out. I would have done anything for her.
This was 15 months ago....
I was a COMPLETE mess. Not only that, the following month by industry took a huge hit and my business basically failed. My life was in shambles
It was the hardest thing i've ever had to deal with so far in my life. I pretty much stopped working and would lay on bed depressed and think about her all day. I had to deal with instrusive thoughts of them together from the pictures i saw etc. nightmares...you name it. For 3-4 months i was useless. The only things i did was lift (i IMMEDIATELY started hitting the gym hard because i had become out of shape from being with her and focusing on work) and party. At first it helped(the partying), and hooking up with other girls took my mind off it temporarily but it was all a smoke screen.
however, i realized pretty quickly...that my family and friends were there for me. I also started seeing my shrink on a regular basis (instead of him just dispensing ADHD meds). He helped me alot. And the most important thing was, i focused on MYSELF and my life. And that having another person to make you happy will never be fulfilling. You have to love yourself before anything, and be ok with being single/alone.
Now, i didn't go on antidepressants....becuase i'm not a firm beleiver in them, but maybe i should have.
You DON'T need anxiety meds. You might need anti depressants at this point, but only take them temporarily till this "mourning" period subsides. There is NOTHING wrong with the way you are feeling now. It's completely human. You're not a pussy, you're not weak. You're strong for even being able to deal with it without anyone to talk to.
Honestly until about a month ago i wasn't fully over her. But now i am. It took along time and alot of pain, but it gets better. i promise you that. As long as you focus on yourself and your own happiness, you will be ok. Picture what you want to be in life and GO for it. The right women will find you. You're obviously hurting now because you are so used to a certain lifestyle and habits and to have it pulled from you is a huge shock to your body and your brain. It is scary because it is the unknown..and the natural reaction to the unknown is fear. But you have to reinvent yourself...you have to create new memories and experiences to lesson the impact of this.
I thought it about it the other day...and i swear to god, as a result i'd never regret or feel too bad about what happened.I realized i wouldn't have been back on EF if it wasn't for her doing that to me. I came back to get back into lifting and also vent. In that time, i've learned so much more, grown as a person and more importantly i've forged great relationships on and off the board with people here. I wouldn't trade that for a fuckin thing in the world. I have people i consider my brothers on here and that were there for me when i was going through this shit. They were just as vital as my friends and family. Not only that, but in your case you KNEW she wasn't good for you. You saved yourself from a lifetime of misery or a terrible divorce by making the right decision. THe price you made for a few months of misery is well worth it instead of a lifetime of one.
You're gonna feel this way for awhile. It's just natural, but you have to gut it out day by day and MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT BY YOURSELF AND SITTING AT HOME. You won't do anything but think about it if you are isolated. When you around people and laughing and such, it is easier to move on with your life. Don't fool yourself by thinking drinking and partying will change the way you feel. I recommend you go out and have fun, but don't go crazy or overdo it.
I know you can do it dude, and if you need to talk PM me. If i made it through it you will too. Our wounds are what mold us as people.
good luck brosky
Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
