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Faizakafez
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this is why
I'm a lover and not a fighter..
now bring me some french toast with powdered sugar... momma!
I'm a lover and not a fighter..
now bring me some french toast with powdered sugar... momma!
Cal_21
New member
HumanTarget said:
Not a fag, not little, not sensitive. Just believe that a man shouldn't hit a woman. If he does he's an insecure small dicked, small minded piece of shit. Who would also most likely get his ass whooped by any guy if he has to get physical with women. If that offends you you're the sensitive fag.
Yeah, he was seen throwing me down in the yard. So i think my neighbors called the cops. but i had left before they got to the house. So they only got his statement. He claimed to be the victim. Which if they could see my size and his juiced up size (that fing hilarious). Im glad i wasnt there though. I pretty much know most of the LE around here because of my job. I would have been so embarrased.stilleto said:
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heatherrae
Guest
That is typical behavior of an abusive guy. By saying it is "just a bad day" he obviously doesn't think it is anything out of the ordinary. If you stay, it will get WORSE. Right now is called the honeymoon phase of the abuse cycle. He will be as sweet as can be to get you to stay.bones1435 said:
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bones1435 said:
Oh let me count the ways.
I took two hard fist to the thigh. then whe i started fighting back (which im sure looked so horrible to anyone driving by) he puched me in the head. I hit hime twice with closed fist in the face, then thats when he spit on me. I wasnt raised that way. i had never had a man hit me. i was so enraged. i didnt know how to deal with it. i obviously could have dealt with it in a better manner. how f'ing jerry springer huhsuperdave said:
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heatherrae said:
WERD also agree 100% with Stiletto's statement.
Get yourself some therapy to find out what it is IN YOU that you choose this type of partner. I am also willing to be that your friends aren't very nice to you either.
Took me losing my entire life - I mean ALL OF IT before I hit rock bottom before I reached out for help. YEARS OF THERAPY and bigtime cleaning out my closet and major life changes have FINALLY helped me to figure it out. I have a very loving doting supportive husband, one VERY VERY dear friend, only those family that truly love and support me.... now it's just a matter of time and tremendous effort to get it all straightened out.
If I did it.... anyone can.
This is generic advise for ANYONE who finds themselves in an abusive situation.
bones, in the short time you've been here, we've learned that you're an ER nurse who's boyfriend convinced her to try GH and then got caught, causing you to have to go to rehab and almost needing to shave your head to save yourself from further problems, and then he abused you.
You said you have a 13 year old son- are you being the mother you want to be?
You said you have a 13 year old son- are you being the mother you want to be?
MichaelScott
New member
the sad thing is more dudes than u could imagine probly do that shit
MichaelScott
New member
well?
no, thats the thing. i have great friends. and my self esteem is fine. i look forward to moving on and finding someone else. I cant get him out of the house. He wont leave. its my house. and he's from Jersey. The lady at the courthouse said that as long as he's getting mail here, this is his primary residence and i have to file papers to get him out. He's from Jersey so he doesnt have family here. And im sure if his mother found out what he did, she wouldn't take him in. IBIKINIMOM said:
oh hell no. im glad my son is on vacation with his grandmother. His father (my husband) died two years ago. I dont want him to ever see that kind of behaviour. Its truely a messed up situation. im not a victim. i just need to clean house before my son gets homestilleto said:
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heatherrae
Guest
You know what you need to do. That is good. I know it is tough to get rid of this type of guy.bones1435 said:
I totally agree. If you hit someone that you claim to love, then you have major character issues. and your a no good piece of shit. But if i decide to stay in that, then im no better. I'm out. no thanks. i dont need anyone beating on me. I just wish i could've broken his face yesterday.HumanTarget said:
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heatherrae
Guest
LOL...yeah, I sort of regret that I did not whip the shit out of my ex, either. At least you hit him. I just ducked and ran most of the time...lol.bones1435 said:
I may be wrong, but from this end, you seem to be judging me. Dont throw stones at glass houses. I did make a poor decision with this relationship. But im fixing it, and i didnt ask for anyones help. I was just commenting on heathers situation and being empathetic. I made my bed, im sleeping in it. and i am a good mother. However, from ur comments, u should get mother of the year. You seem to never make mistakes.stilleto said:
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heatherrae
Guest
uh oh...this thread took a bad turn.
Okay, everyone calm down and let's have a group hug.
Okay, everyone calm down and let's have a group hug.
rubberneck
New member
and its HUGE!!!!!heatherrae said:
Yeah, i better go. I dont think im among friends here. I apoligize if my situation made anyone feel that they needed to comment on my mothering. I love my child. and i miss my husband dearly. I shouldn't have been so honest on here. If was truely a mistake.heatherrae said:uh oh...this thread took a bad turn.
Okay, everyone calm down and let's have a group hug.
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bones1435 said:
If you had great friends they would have certainly advised you to get away from this abusive asshole long before he hit you. We all no it begins somewhat subtly not with you getting your head driven into the pavement because you were 10 minutes late for your first date.
And so what if you have to file papers? THEN DO IT.
I could care less that he has no family and no place else to go. Apparently that wasn't his primary concern when he was pummeling you.
I am not riding your ass. Just calling it like I see it.
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Gambino
Guest
i'm gonna get flamed for sure, but it certainly appears that some wimminez, in some twisted way, like the abuse
MichaelScott
New member
oh god...
KillahBee
New member
Gambino said:
This is neither news nor difficult to understand.
ATTENTION is the life force behind which people live and breathe. That's it. It really is that simple. Take your attention completely off something and it ceases to exist. Place your attention on it and the breath of life is blown into it.
Notice I said "attention", not kindness or happiness. Attention serves the same purpose, be it good or bad. Attention = life.
It is so very simple yet so few people put this into practice in their daily lives.
superdave said:
I do think there's different socio/sexual-economic reasons between the sexes for each choosing to stay in abusive relationships; for women it may be a matter of financial security, for men, some just enjoy a shoe to the ass or other ancillary parts.
Okay, that may be a bit flip and hyperbolic.
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superdave said:
Common myth... there is no way for society to count this statis accurately because when the abuse goes the other way there is an even GREATER stigma of shame associated. Not only is the man thought to be stoopid (as the women are told they are) but they are thought of as LESS THAN MEN.
And I personally know of such a case. He was a man who worked for my ex and I. His wife BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM... dude was hyuge (and his wife was no small woman) but he laid there and took it.
The only reason we knew is because he got beat up so bad that he couldn't come to work for a few days, his wife put him in the emergency room. First she hit him with a metal teapot in the head - (eye specifically) then she hit him hard in the nuts. While he was wrything on the floor in pain she kicked him a few times.
They had two kids, the oldest was 9. YOU THINK THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME SHE DID THIS TO HIM?
bones1435 said:
no no- you took it wrong.
what i meant was it looks like you have to do some re-evaluating because it doesn't seem like your life is going in the direction you'd want it to, if being a good mother is a concern.
I don't know you from anyone, but i assumed that you want to be a good mom.
have I made mistakes, of course. everyone has.
You said your self esteem is just fine... THAT is what I was referring to when i said it looks different from this end. I think humantarget and bikinimom were basically saying the same thing.
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heatherrae
Guest
and believe me, when the shoe is on the other foot, they don't give a damn if you have no place to go, etc. My ex certainly didn't care that I gave up my law practice, my furniture, etc to go live with him. He would have been happy if me and the baby ended up homeless. These men don't have the capacity to empathize. They only know how to CONTROL.BIKINIMOM said:
blueta2
New member
stilleto said:
I think you owe her a donut
And Bones, it wasn't a mistake to post up in here. Ppl get rough, some ppl are just joking. Most ppl are sympathetic. We just don't know you well enough yet.
I sympathize with your situation. After the loss of my 11 yr relationship, I chose some very shadey losers. You're just finding your way.
You have some problems, like we all do.
Stay strong
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stilleto said:
precisely - this is not gang up on and blame the victim. We are trying to help you see that perhaps your judgement may not be spot on, that it is not your fault thus far.
However, if you dont make steps to face whatever it was that caused you to make those decisions, your situation might improve when you get rid of THIS guy, but that you will most likely end up with him again. He may look different and have a different name but HE IS THE SAME MAN.
You will NEVER hear me blame a victim. EVER.
you have to put as much effort into family & friends as you would a career. hangers on & fringe are easy to come upon, mostly because they are looking for you before you see them. it's easy as hell to put up a friend front, as it requires nothing more than talking to you.....
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heatherrae
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Yeah, being a lady just isn't as much fun in hindsight...lol.stilleto said:
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heatherrae said:
Maybe bones doesnt know yet what my ex did to me.
Anyone want to fill her in?
That animal took my life, but that is ok. I am grown and can handle it. He has destroyed the lives of all four of my children. The oldest may NEVER recover.
Oh yea, and he has also severely hurt the life of my sister and her family because they defended me.
So bones do you hear what I am saying?
I am on YOUR side.
No, see the thing of it is that people do make mistakes! Mothers make mistakes...I know I have been awake since 8 this morning and I have made many mistakes..My kids got snack before lunch, my kids did not have to pick up their toys because I did, I should have made it to the drug store a little earlier so my son could start meds today but had to make lunch instead,there are many...bones1435 said:
However coming onto a fitness site and pretty much bragging about how you and your bf got into a fist fight on the highway....Fuck I mean, you don't know any of these people, yet you come out and talk like this? Goes to show that you really have 0 appreciation for privacy..Who knows maybe you are crying out for help by making all these statements, but still....
I am sorry all shoes are different in looks and sizes...However, I have a few thoughts on this, and shit I will say then purely because I can!!! First off, I highly doubt that out of the clear blue sky he decided to just hit you. NO I am not stating that it was your fault..what I am saying is clearly there has been abuse before now....Then you go on to talk about your 13 year old??? Do you want him to have this behavior? Hell i would be soooo ashamed if my other half ever hit me and I stayed around.....Another thing here is that you claim it is not your house and LE wont get him out for you...That is a pure crock of horse shit..Considering the fact that if you have any bruises or marks on you at all then you can just as easily not only get a no contact restraining order but you could also get him on domestic assualt charges....
And you claim to be a nurse? Not trying to knock you here but don't you think that being in a position that sees abuse cases, you would know what the hell to do???
SO dont go on knocking stilleto because obviously she is not the only one who sees things this way...
KthanxBye now
she needs manlove. bestowed upon her by a manly man. one who chops wood with his shirt off, and belches & farts freely. one who will never say "i'm sorry" but at the same time, fly off the handle and demand apologies. one who would take the change out of center counsel and blame it on the homeless...
all the whey
New member
HumanTarget said:
Don't we all need that though?
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heatherrae
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I'll be really honest here.LuluDeren said:I do think there's different socio/sexual-economic reasons between the sexes for each choosing to stay in abusive relationships; for women it may be a matter of financial security, for men, some just enjoy a shoe to the ass or other ancillary parts.
Okay, that may be a bit flip and hyperbolic.
I think lots of time, it is financial dependence. I let that happen to me, which was a BIG MISTAKE.
Here is what happened. I gave up my law practice and all my furniture and moved in with my fiance in Florida. He was plenty wealthy and covered all the bills, my car payments, etc. However, he controlled everything that I did. It was subtle at first, and then got worse and worse until he would pull phone chords out of the wall and then the physical stuff. I had gotten in a situation where I could not just up and leave, or I didn't feel like I could. I didn't want to go to a woman's shelter because I had a dog and two cats. I was not licensed to practice law in Florida, and when I talked about getting a job, I would get pushed and shoved and told that I "have one foot out the door." He knew I was trying to be more independent so that I could leave if he was mean to me. I was a bit stuck financially.
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heatherrae
Guest
Gosh people. Why be so harsh on bones? Jeez. It is hard to share something like that. She is doing the right thing. Give her a break.
rubberneck
New member
SHE is the new kid on the block. We have to see how she handles herself!!heatherrae said:
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heatherrae
Guest
Oh yeah, I forgot the new girls always get pummeled around here. lol.rubberneck said:SHE is the new kid on the block. We have to see how she handles herself!!
rubberneck
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only the good women last here!!!heatherrae said:
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heatherrae said:
Abuse is something that conjures up strong emotions in people, as it should.
None of us has the answers, but it is a bit frustrating when those of us who are trying to help feel like we aren't *really* being listened to.
Those of us who e-know one another because we have shared personal information OFF the boards value what the other says because WE KNOW what the other has been through. So she is at a disadvantage of sorts. But she really should think about the way she is somewhat defending the reasons for not being able to get the guy out.
You left.
I left and it cost me and everyone attached to me DEARLY...
But at least you are alive and you and your baby have a shot.
I have found a good husband and we are struggling to rectify all the damage.
BUT - none of us moved forward until we took a good hard long look at ourselves and decided to find what was broken within us and made a strong resolve to TRY to fix it and move ahead. I hear a lot of denial in Bones' last post.
I am not attacking her. Just giving my honest assessment because I CARE.
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blueta2 said:
I got some ice cream. Will that help?
Mavafanculo
New member
blueta2 said:
TMI
TMI
TMI
TMI
TMI
No
Mavafanculo
New member
blueta2 said:
*WOOD*
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blueta2 said:
Hmmm soy ice cream? I've had it an I dont prefer it though I should avoid dairy altogether.
I make some bitchin protein smoothies with soy milk and frozen fruit though!
We can all get a little high (Ms PregoRae will have to settle for the natural sugar high for now) and get into hottub topless!
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heatherrae
Guest
I conjure up strong emotions in people -- usually hatred...lol.Nathan said:
Listen, i wasnt looking for sympathy or advise here. And i dont even remember answering a question that you directed towards me. im not trying to create debates with anyone. This started when heather stated that she was pregnant and single. i was empathizing with her situation. i could RELATE. thats it. And for my son being exposed, i stated that he is on vacation with his grandmother. as for the house, it mine. As for the police report, i left before the police showed up. Why has this turned into such a dramatic thread. Im not proud of what happened, it sucked. And yes, that was the first time (and last) that he will do that to me. And just because im a nurse doesn't mean that i may find myself in a position that i would never expect to happen. U know-for the grace of God there go I. Damn, im sorry that i hit such a nerve. And as for stilleto, im sure she was just trying to give constructive critism. and your right. I should have not air'd my dirty laundry on here. Bad choice.Angel said:
Mavafanculo
New member
This went well.
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AND AS FOR YOU! Is this what group therapy is like? If you ever want to leave law, i think that you should do group therapy. You get everyone wanting to have verbal diarrhea. Everyone has an opinion. Just like ass@oles, the only difference is....some stink more than others. Good luck to you, do you know if its a boy or girl. I dont have a girl, but my son is amazing. Theres nothing else that is more enjoyable as your child. You are going to enjoy it immensly. I actually enjoy his company more now cause we can go snow boarding and surfing together. I dont look forward to when its "not cool" to hang with mom.heatherrae said:
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Mavafanculo said:
That's what I was thinking.
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heatherrae
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LOL...actually, I have a degree in psychology and my best friend tells me all the time that I should have been a therapist because people tell me EVERYTHING.bones1435 said:
I'm having a little boy, although I'm not so sure that he is so little. He has bruised his mom's ribs so bad that I can hardly get out of bed...lol.
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heatherrae
Guest
Yeah, I'm just being whiney. The number of single men in Kentucky who are datable is small. They know it, and it makes lots of them act like they are irreplacable...lol.Angel said:
bigmann245
New member
heatherrae said:
but you know you deserve a whole lot more and better.
bigmann245
New member
gotmilk said:
not if she wants to marry her cousin
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heatherrae
Guest
LOL...my cousins won't have me.bigmann245 said:
gotmilk
New member
bigmann245
New member
gotmilk said:
my point exactly....although i took a class in college called "marriage and family" to get a better feel on how it all works and the professor said that inbreading does not automatically cause birth defects. it only increases the chance because the same bad genes are in the same family and have a higher chance of showing up. not that i approve of the cousins thing i just found that to be weird.
