I will probably never find love...

[stilleto]

I may be wrong, but from this end, you seem to be judging me. Dont throw stones at glass houses. I did make a poor decision with this relationship. But im fixing it, and i didnt ask for anyones help. I was just commenting on heathers situation and being empathetic. I made my bed, im sleeping in it. and i am a good mother. However, from ur comments, u should get mother of the year. You seem to never make mistakes.

no no- you took it wrong.
what i meant was it looks like you have to do some re-evaluating because it doesn't seem like your life is going in the direction you'd want it to, if being a good mother is a concern.
I don't know you from anyone, but i assumed that you want to be a good mom.

have I made mistakes, of course. everyone has.

You said your self esteem is just fine... THAT is what I was referring to when i said it looks different from this end. I think humantarget and bikinimom were basically saying the same thing.

 

[heatherrae]

If you had great friends they would have certainly advised you to get away from this abusive asshole long before he hit you. We all no it begins somewhat subtly not with you getting your head driven into the pavement because you were 10 minutes late for your first date.

And so what if you have to file papers? THEN DO IT.

I could care less that he has no family and no place else to go. Apparently that wasn't his primary concern when he was pummeling you.

I am not riding your ass. Just calling it like I see it.

and believe me, when the shoe is on the other foot, they don't give a damn if you have no place to go, etc. My ex certainly didn't care that I gave up my law practice, my furniture, etc to go live with him. He would have been happy if me and the baby ended up homeless. These men don't have the capacity to empathize. They only know how to CONTROL.

 

[blueta2]

no no- you took it wrong.
what i meant was it looks like you have to do some re-evaluating because it doesn't seem like your life is going in the direction you'd want it to, if being a good mother is a concern.
I don't know you from anyone, but i assumed that you want to be a good mom.

have I made mistakes, of course. everyone has.

You said your self esteem is just fine... THAT is what I was referring to when i said it looks different from this end. I think humantarget and bikinimom were basically saying the same thing.

I think you owe her a donut

And Bones, it wasn't a mistake to post up in here. Ppl get rough, some ppl are just joking. Most ppl are sympathetic. We just don't know you well enough yet.
I sympathize with your situation. After the loss of my 11 yr relationship, I chose some very shadey losers. You're just finding your way.
You have some problems, like we all do.
Stay strong

 

[stilleto]

LOL...yeah, I sort of regret that I did not whip the shit out of my ex, either. At least you hit him. I just ducked and ran most of the time...lol.

no, you did the right thing. you acted like a lady, and you left.

 

[Bikini Mod]

no no- you took it wrong.
what i meant was it looks like you have to do some re-evaluating because it doesn't seem like your life is going in the direction you'd want it to, if being a good mother is a concern.
I don't know you from anyone, but i assumed that you want to be a good mom.

have I made mistakes, of course. everyone has.

You said your self esteem is just fine... THAT is what I was referring to when i said it looks different from this end. I think humantarget and bikinimom were basically saying the same thing.

precisely - this is not gang up on and blame the victim. We are trying to help you see that perhaps your judgement may not be spot on, that it is not your fault thus far.

However, if you dont make steps to face whatever it was that caused you to make those decisions, your situation might improve when you get rid of THIS guy, but that you will most likely end up with him again. He may look different and have a different name but HE IS THE SAME MAN.

You will NEVER hear me blame a victim. EVER.

 

[H_T_]

you have to put as much effort into family & friends as you would a career. hangers on & fringe are easy to come upon, mostly because they are looking for you before you see them. it's easy as hell to put up a friend front, as it requires nothing more than talking to you.....

 

[velvett]

I suspect that once that baby is born - you'll find love - just not the kind you thought you were looking for.

 

[heatherrae]

no, you did the right thing. you acted like a lady, and you left.

Yeah, being a lady just isn't as much fun in hindsight...lol.

 

[Bikini Mod]

and believe me, when the shoe is on the other foot, they don't give a damn if you have no place to go, etc. My ex certainly didn't care that I gave up my law practice, my furniture, etc to go live with him. He would have been happy if me and the baby ended up homeless. These men don't have the capacity to empathize. They only know how to CONTROL.

Maybe bones doesnt know yet what my ex did to me.

Anyone want to fill her in?

That animal took my life, but that is ok. I am grown and can handle it. He has destroyed the lives of all four of my children. The oldest may NEVER recover.

Oh yea, and he has also severely hurt the life of my sister and her family because they defended me.

So bones do you hear what I am saying?

I am on YOUR side.

 

[stilleto]

I think you owe her a donut

And Bones, it wasn't a mistake to post up in here. Ppl get rough, some ppl are just joking. Most ppl are sympathetic. We just don't know you well enough yet.
I sympathize with your situation. After the loss of my 11 yr relationship, I chose some very shadey losers. You're just finding your way.
You have some problems, like we all do.
Stay strong

she got defensive and didn't need to- nobody judged her. we tried to help. she wouldn't have posted all her problems if she wasn't looking for something, but maybe help isn't it.