i think my gf has low libido

[TheOak84]

shes not very horny or erotic ever, shes kind of over weight and doesnt have a healthy diet and very lazy (for the most part).

her idea of fun is goin to a bar with her friends. not many contructive hobbies.

shes horny when drunk tho, and can have an orgasm easily. she takes birth control which may be an issue.

when we get naughty, she seems to forget i have a penis, and i have to do ALL the work, which includes: starting the foreplay, taking off both of our clothes, changing positions and such, etc...

maybe she just doesnt care about sex??? weve been dating for 3 years.

i think its a combo of excess fat, birth control nt enough exercise and a shitty diet.

any women have any input on this?

 

[biteme]

replace her.

 

[Gambino]

from what i gather, she's cheating on you

 

[eat big]

When you're doing her from behind, put it in her ass. See if that gets her.

 

[TheOak84]

from what i gather, she cheating on you

nah were around eachother 247, shes way to involved and sensititve to cheat

 

[theoak01]

since this is something thats been going on from the start it could be she is very conservative about sex or inexperienced.

my girl pretty much waits for me to do all the work,I dont get oral,that kinda shit.

her issue is she doesnt have much sexual experience and after talking to her she just wants to ease into new things not try it all at once.

maybe ask her whats up,talk to her about it

 

[TheOak84]

since this is something thats been going on from the start it could be she is very conservative about sex or inexperienced.

my girl pretty much waits for me to do all the work,I dont get oral,that kinda shit.

her issue is she doesnt have much sexual experience and after talking to her she just wants to ease into new things not try it all at once.

maybe ask her whats up,talk to her about it

thats what ive been thinking, but 3 years, she reads cosmo evrey thing, theres nothing to ease into, just do it, ya know... its sex, anything goes

 

[Gambino]

nah were around eachother 247, shes way to involved and sensititve to cheat

lol I'm just kiddin bor
standard ef answer for every girl question.

shall we be honest? i seriously doubt you will marry this broad...you just described a situation that is unfixable, it is her nature. if you marry her you will be unhappy and frustrated and will end up in divorce. so it's only a matter of time before you break up with her and i think you realize that

 

[theoak01]

thats my view on it,but some girls just arent like that,its hard for me as my ex was a god damn freak, kinda makes me feel like im missing out,but we do have alot of sex,it just isnt to freaky and i also gotta get it goin

 

[Gambino]

you should really ask aap about this, most of his ladies have a similar reaction

 

[velvett]

i think its a combo of excess fat, birth control nt enough exercise and a shitty diet.

any women have any input on this?

Yes.

Yes meaning I agree with what you think.

















That or Ludendorf's right.

 

[TheOak84]

well we decided to go tot he doc and get a blood test for her. i do plan on marrying her,
in the near future, but i wanna make sure this is not a problem, and hope shes just lazy in bed, which can be fixed.

but its like, if i had a dick problem id be at the doc in seconds, she seems not to care, or even know she has a problem.. maybe thats y its a silent (sexual) killer

 

[milo hobgoblin]

so exactly why are you still with her??

 

[Huckster]

well we decided to go tot he doc and get a blood test for her. i do plan on marrying her,
in the near future, but i wanna make sure this is not a problem, and hope shes just lazy in bed, which can be fixed.

but its like, if i had a dick problem id be at the doc in seconds, she seems not to care, or even know she has a problem.. maybe thats y its a silent (sexual) killer

If you're having problems now,I would SERIOUSLY reconsider marrying her,as 9 times out of 10 it only gets MUCH worse after you've made that final commitment.Spoken from someone who has LIVED it.

 

[TheOak84]

If you're having problems now,I would SERIOUSLY reconsider marrying her,as 9 times out of 10 it only gets MUCH worse after you've made that final commitment.Spoken from someone who has LIVED it.

well ya, id like to, but if im unhappy i wont.

 

[Smurfy]

she's probably young and unsure of herself/insecure. she probably never had to take initiative in the sack before. she also probably isnt horny either so it doesnt really cross her mind to initiate sex. do you initiate sex when youre not horny or not thinking of sex? probably not. is her low drive normal? no. but there are probably many factors that are causing it. if she wants to make changes, she can. but, she may not really feel motivated to do so.

i didnt start becoming comfortable with myself or horny even until I went off the Deprovera shot and until I was into my 30's. Your girl sounds a lot like how I was for a long time but I was also with someone I couldnt stand and I was inactive and miserable for lots of reasons/

bottom line: there are infinite number of things that can have an effect on one's sex drive. also, dont take it personally and also, if you see it as a problem, simply talk to her about it but dont do it in a way that is accusatory or mean. Im guessing she's not just doing it to be a bitch, otherwise you would have mentioned that in the first post.

 

[nimbus]

i feel like if you got her going to the gym it would help. If not, worst thing that happens is she gets in better shape.

 

[velvett]

well we decided to go tot he doc and get a blood test for her.

Seriously, food and exercise also effect hormone levels - her pill may be too high in estrogen or too low in progestrin.

There's blood and saliva tests - GOOD LUCK!

 

[wootoom]

slip her some dostinex

 

[calveless wonder]

nah were around eachother 247

Bingo....

being around someone 24/7 makes your precense completely different.

that's any girl.


Sounds like smothering.....If a chick sees you all the time and you guys have no real alone time, it's gonna kill the spark.

It's probably the same monotous shit 24/7. You did say she loves to go hang out with her friends...that's her escape.

i'm sure she cares for you but a big part of relationships is SPACE....as long as you trust each other, it's fine. no need to be on each other's ass 24/7

I work like 65-70 hours a week, but when i see my girl i make the most of our time together. we go out and have alot of fun or stay in on the weekdays but it doesnt get boring...and we've been together 3 years. It's like we're still "dating" but with all the comfort and closeness of being together for years

When we were around each other 24/7, we loved each other and acted fine..but it got monotonous and her sex drive took a dip. Can't really blame her...i felt similar

 

[Sub-Zero]

disappear for a while

 

[GoldenDelicious]

look at your relationship wholistically to identify any causes/contributors

is she depressed?
does she enjoy life overall?
has your sex life staled out?
are there any ruts in your relationship?
are you making any of the classic mistakes ie bathroom door pen, changing in front of one another etc?

in my experience sex is a barometer of fun in your lives as well as in your relationship (unless youre prone to use it as a crutch) - as soon as something else in your life begins to suffer, so does the sex...so look at those first

either that or you can just slip some testosterone into her martini. after a while, youll dread it if she changes position in bed

 

[Lestat]

look at your relationship wholistically to identify any causes/contributors

is she depressed?
does she enjoy life overall?
has your sex life staled out?
are there any ruts in your relationship?
are you making any of the classic mistakes ie bathroom door pen, changing in front of one another etc?

in my experience sex is a barometer of fun in your lives as well as in your relationship (unless youre prone to use it as a crutch) - as soon as something else in your life begins to suffer, so does the sex...so look at those first

either that or you can just slip some testosterone into her martini. after a while, youll dread it if she changes position in bed

great fucking post as always man.

What is the bathroom door pen mistake?

and are you saying that changing in front of each other is not a good thing?

 

[ponyfitness]

Obviously if you have been putting up with it for three years its nothing new - and I don't get why you suddenly want to change it. I also can't believe you're sure about marrying someone who obviously isn't sexually compatible with you and doesn't seem to care about your needs physically. In my mind that's a sure way to regret in less than ten years.

I'd take a step back and really look at what you have and if it is what you want to put up with for another 40 years.

 

[pintoca]

from what i gather, she's cheating on you

word

 

[Gymgurl]

She is getting ti from someone else and is to tired to do you too

 

[alien amp pharm]

3 things I'd like to say...

1. I like girls who are lazy in bed...they usually don't mind if I ejaculate within a short period of time.

2. There are 2 Oaks on elitefitness? Which one is the SWV? or is that both?

3. Ludendorf, kiss my buttocks!

 

[Frisky]

she's probably young and unsure of herself/insecure. she probably never had to take initiative in the sack before. she also probably isnt horny either so it doesnt really cross her mind to initiate sex. do you initiate sex when youre not horny or not thinking of sex? probably not. is her low drive normal? no. but there are probably many factors that are causing it. if she wants to make changes, she can. but, she may not really feel motivated to do so.

i didnt start becoming comfortable with myself or horny even until I went off the Deprovera shot and until I was into my 30's. Your girl sounds a lot like how I was for a long time but I was also with someone I couldnt stand and I was inactive and miserable for lots of reasons/

bottom line: there are infinite number of things that can have an effect on one's sex drive. also, dont take it personally and also, if you see it as a problem, simply talk to her about it but dont do it in a way that is accusatory or mean. Im guessing she's not just doing it to be a bitch, otherwise you would have mentioned that in the first post.

Agree 100%

I would say its a combo of being insecure and the hormone levels. I wasn't comfortable with my body well into my late 20's... and I'd been married for years.

 

[crew9]

great fucking post as always man.

What is the bathroom door pen mistake?

and are you saying that changing in front of each other is not a good thing?

Going to the bathroom with the door open gives the other person visible access to stuff that no one really wants to see = the idea that "girls don't poop."

I think what he's getting at with the "don't change in front of each other" thing is that seeing it all the time is going to make ya used to it. Kinda like an aunt that sends you socks every Christmas but still wraps them. What's the point you already know what's underneath. Your SO naked should be an exciting thing not just an eh everyday thing.


Ok I'm done with my horrible analogies for the morning haha.

 

[Mavafanculo]

Check this thread out.

emotions/relationship/blahblahblah. Just throw chemicals at the problem.

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=495878

-

 

[Phaded]

chicks give the best answers to most questions relating to women..