I have no reason to live....I am contemplating my departure...

[jackangel]

i forgot who this thread is about.

 

[biteme]

I wonder how many suicides have been prevented by a sympathetic ear or intervention at the right time? And how many couldn't have been prevented no matter what?

 

[layinback]

Sorry for my pathetic thread title...but I am reaching a very low point in my life...

A month ago I found out that my fiancee cheated on me...I was ready to forgive her despite her feelings towards me that were no there anymore....she is in love with her former boyfriend whom she has sex when we both went to Romania.

She still keeps in touch with him ....

My dad had a stroke and he is in bad shape.

I cant get my job back after being convalescent due to surgery on my achilles tendon.

I try to find another job but couldnt get one and I really liked my former job and my colleagues...but the owner of the business told me that he laid off 5 people already and it is hard for him to bring me back...


I cant suffer anymore....I love my baby daughter but I cant stand not having a job and seeing my fiancee emailing and thinking of her lover!

I was searching on line suicidal sites but I dont muster the courage to do it yet...

So here goes nothing....I have no more pride or ego in myself....

I dont care if you give me shit or insult me due to my macabre thoughts....

It wont offend me anymore...nothing can...

you need to see a doctor or a therapist.

rejection \ getting cheated on is a part of life.

what you are experiencing is not eternal.

it seems like it is but it WILL PASS.

you're not thinking rationally bro......

you need to get help immediately

in the meantime, don't be alone.

call friends and family

get out of the house and DO NOT ISOLATE

 

[biteme]

you need to see a doctor or a therapist.

rejection \ getting cheated on is a part of life.

what you are experiencing is not eternal.

it seems like it is but it WILL PASS.

you're not thinking rationally bro......

you need to get help immediately

in the meantime, don't be alone.

call friends and fami

get out of the house and DO NOT ISOLATE

Sounds like good advice there.

 

[bigmann245]

first of all, suicide is the ultimate selfish/self-indulgent act. . .you have a child. . .you surrendered your right to be selfish. . .so put that shit out of your head. . .

now. . .you have two choices. . .you can look at the current state of your life as being empty and worthless and meaningless. . .or you can see it as an empty, clean slate. . .an opportunity to start fresh. . .to reinvent yourself. . .unburdended by the fears that most of us have (e.g., worrying about losing all our shit). . .

the choice is yours. . .

i agree 100%

 

[ceo]

If something horrible were to happen, I hope that there will be a voice who would tell the true story to my daughter....

Your daughter will still hate you for killing yourself and leaving her and she will seek solace in her mother...who stuck around for her and was with her throughout her life.

And, your ex will still not care or be affected in the way you are hoping to accomplish. Instead, she will also despise you and think you weak for leaving her to raise her daughter without any help. You're a fool if you think this other guy will leave his wife and family in Romania to come to the US and be with your fiancee, or if you think your fiancee will leave with your daughter for Romania once your gone. This other guy ain't leaving his woman or his family...period.

Everything you are selfishly hoping to accomplish with your sad little ploy will have backfired. And you won't be around to try to fix it.

If you think I'm wrong, I'm not. You're just being blinded by your emotions.

If you think I might be right, congratulations. You are back on the right track to reasonable thoughts.

 

[calveless wonder]

I haven't read the whole thread...but I did catch a couple of responses that seem to be along the lines of what I want to say. It's going to sound harsh, but know that it comes from a place of compassion.

Wake up and smell the fucking coffee, nobledude. Life fucking sucks sometimes. Walk in your shoes? Believe me, I've been there. I've even tried it, though it's been 11 years. After I was raped when i was 13 I was suffering from daily flashbacks...know what those are? It's like your mind takes you back and you're THERE again and it's HAPPENING again. I was getting raped over and over and over again by my mind with no end in sight. The only thing that convinced me to try was seeing a child die while I was in the ICU after my attempt. Witnessing the grief of his family.

I know as well as anyone how easy it seems but guess what! While the pain ends for you your family gets stuck with the pain of your choice for the rest of their lives. Your daughter grows up without a father. YOU HAVE A CHILD. Are you out of your mind, even thinking about leaving her behind like that?????

You don't need pity talk, or coddling. You need a swift kick in the ass, and if you were within reach I'd give it to you.

I don't want to be too hard on you...I was in so much pain I was incapable of seeing outside my bubble, so I know that right now, you just can't see the full scope of what you are thinking about. But you have GOT to use EVERY resource to pull out of this. EVERYTHING. PM blueta. Talk to others. Get a good therapist. You can do this, but you've got to do things TODAY. NOW. If you put it off till tomorrow, it will never get done. I know that part, too. DO IT NOW.

There is nothing more eye opening than seeing your families reaction to you attempting to take your own life...talking from experience as well. You truly feel like crap for putting them through that and realize how selfish it is. Hopefully this is a cry for help(as if often the case), beyond anything. My suicide attempt came at a young, foolish age and thankfully it didn't work.

Right now noble you are obviously in a tremendous point of weakness ( as nef was alluding to). It will be some time before you can look at things analytically and not completely emotionally and irrational. I know your history with depression as we have spoken about before, and i recommend you get on something to balance you out. This is a situation where anti depressants are truly warranted (after a traumatic series of events) at least for a certain period of time.
I've been in the same clusterfuck more or less you're experiencing noble...as recently as a year ago. I'm not gonna be brutal or harsh, because i feel like when you're down you don't need that. But i will share my story with you and you need to realize that your daughter is WAY more important than your own feelings.

I went from making 6 figures at 24, having my own entity/branch within a large company, a beautiful and smart girl that i loved to death and thought was loyal to me and would eventually marry I had pretty much everything i had ever hoped for in life. I didn't have a child involved but i did have a dog that was taken from me by her that was truly like my son.

I pretty much lost it within all a month time frame and was left with nothing.I was betrayed like you by my SO...but hers was much worse, calculated and cold than your scenario. This was a person i made every sacrifice in the world to help have a better life than she had had. I literally felt like my soul was ripped out
My industry went to shit about a month after and i pretty much couldn't work for months because of my depression not to mention the fact i couldn't handle the adversity of the market given my mental state. I would literally lie in bed for hours and think about it and replay the scenarios in my head. Everytime it'd feel like i was back in the very moment i found out she was cheating/using me.

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it's an easy road. It's not, but life is such. And it's a roller coaster. Some times things are great, and sometimes they are awful. You can only strive for the good times to outweigh the bad. I've had enough positive and great experiences since the above to validate to keep going forward and making things happen.

I still feel like shit on a regular basis thinking about what i lost and what happened to me, but i always try to believe things will be better than they were and that i've put myself in a position for them to be.

All things are temporary in life, and ONLY YOU can change that.

Focusing on my training and regaining my body helped me tremendously...was an outlet i very much needed in that time.

The most important thing is action. Depression will always leave you stagnant. That's the worst thing that can happen. You need to make steps in any direction you can. Get the f outta the house!!!!!!!!!!!! You need human interaction more than anything. If it weren't for my friends and family i would have been a much bigger wreck than i was.

It's a new chapter in life....you need to write it.

 

[blueta2]

CW great post.
I bet you would not take all that pain away for anything right?
Pain makes us who we are. Makes us stronger.

You had a lot to deal with at a young age, and that's why you're very wise.


Noble, like I said, take this pain and let it guide you to better awareness.
By the way, the book is on it's way

 

[c-sharp minor]

Bro...my s/o of 7 years committed suicide 4 1/2 years ago. Woke up and found her hanging in the next room. I am still emotionally scarred over the event, and will be till I die.

She left behind her 14 y/o son as well. That god he wasn't there to see it. He was absolutely devastated as it was.

The effect suicide has on entire families is devastating as well, with other family members sometimes following the same path. Many family units disintegrate in the aftermath of suicide.

As others have stated, life's problems are merely temporary. Wait out the storm. If not for yourself, at the moment, then for your daughter.

 

[calveless wonder]

Bro...my s/o of 7 years committed suicide 4 1/2 years ago. Woke up and found her hanging in the next room. I am still emotionally scarred over the event, and will be till I die.

She left behind her 14 y/o son as well. That god he wasn't there to see it. He was absolutely devastated as it was.

The effect suicide has on entire families is devastating as well, with other family members sometimes following the same path. Many family units disintegrate in the aftermath of suicide.

As others have stated, life's problems are merely temporary. Wait out the storm. If not for yourself, at the moment, then for your daughter.

4 1/2 years ago? I remember when that happened.....it was very tragic. Just hard to fathom it was that long ago.
believe it or not that thread came to mind when i saw this