I got pulled over earlier

[SoreArms]

I was driving home after work, music turned on loud, driving like a maniac. I'm at a red light waiting for the light to turn green, as the light turns green and start to go I notice that 1)there is a cop behind me and 2) he has just turned on the lights to pull me over. Fuck, he must have seen me speeding.

As I noticed the cop and the lights I simultaniously (sp) laid the nastiest fart that I can remember in some time, one of those damp warm ones that just hover around and don't go away for a while. So as I start pulling over I roll down both windows hoping that the air clears out before the cop comes to the Window. The cop walks up "Are you Mr. SoreArms", apparently he had been following me for a bit and looked up my info. I say yes and he asks for my liscence. As I hand it to him, he asks for my insurance and leans in to look in the car. He catches a wiff of whats cooking, immediately pulls his head back and says "I'll be right back". LOL, the smell must have driven him away. He stayed away for like 5 mins, he came back and gave me a fix it ticket because I had a busted headlight (which I replaced right after), he didn't even get close to the window, he just stretched out his arm from a few feet away to have me sign the ticket and give me my liscence back. He even forgot to look at my insurance, which in Cali is a big deal.

I stopped at an autoparts store a few blocks away to buy the headlight. When I cam back in the car, it still smelled like fart, lol. It must be all the cottage cheese and peanut butter I've been eating.

 

[hardrock]

What do you expect, being gay AND mexican?

 

[Rex]

Damn thats good stuff.

I got a ticket in MD for doing 74 in a 55 (Strangely enough 3 days after I made a post calling it the bastard state of the US). I turned down the radio just enough so I could still hear O&A on XM as the trooper was doing his "Son, do you know why I pulled you over?" schpeel.

I only wish that I could've had some nasty gas for him.

 

[shawnerk]

AHAHA- funny-funky sheeeet- pun definitely intended

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

That's some funny shit! Maybe I'll try that if I get pulled over again.

 

[Razorguns]

time to get a "badge" from a family member who's in the force. works well too.

 

[dirty~d~]

If I ever pull over any of you sons-of-bitches and you fart in my direction, you're getting a nasty one right back at ya.

 

[Scotsman]

An old roomate of mine got out got out of a speeding ticket by farting. He told the cop he was speeding cause he was about to shit his pants, when the cop doubted him, he ripped a huge stinky fart and the cop handed his liscense back and said good luck with that.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[dirty~d~]

Now THAT is funny!

 

[RADAR]

I need a can of fart spray for these special occasions...

RADAR

 

[jerkbox]

 

[DJ_UFO]

HOLY fuck!! I almost pissed my-nothing cause I'm naked- laughing my ass off!!!!!

 

[sawastea]

Best post of the thread.

 

[SoreArms]

Best post of the thread.

you son of a bitch, I'm about to go Juicedtails on your ass

 

[Carmen]

i called the cop and told him to pull you over cause you won't give me the info i need.

 

[Devastation]

An old roomate of mine got out got out of a speeding ticket by farting. He told the cop he was speeding cause he was about to shit his pants, when the cop doubted him, he ripped a huge stinky fart and the cop handed his liscense back and said good luck with that.

Cheers,
Scotsman

lol!

 

[Spartacus]

contrary to popular thought
if you are going to attempt to excuse your way out of a ticket
DO NOT have your license handy
when he asks for your license, if you present it to him pronto and answer his querys
he will take it back, write up a ticket,simple
now if you don't have it "handy",say buried in the glove box,or my wife's purse
while you "hunt" for your license you plead your case
as soon as you hand that fucker over to him your ticketed

 

[Spartacus]

read a book on these matters
authored by a New Jersey state trooper

 

[Spartacus]

I'm not married

 

[Carmen]

I'm not married

then why do you carry a purse?

 

[Spartacus]

then why do you carry a purse?

darling,that's why I added that
could have edited it to "your wife's" purse
chose not to

 

[Carmen]

darling,that's why I added that
could have edited it to "your wife's" purse
chose not to

ohhhhhhhhh..
but i don't have a wife either.
i wish i did, then someone else could do my stuff for me.

(i knew what you meant, i was teasing you)

 

[Spartacus]

the author also mentions lies will work
provided they are believable and delivered well
but,don't attempt stupid lies
unless you are a very good comic
cases of comedic excuses getting "off"
test your mettle

 

[Carmen]

cry and say you're pregnant.

 

[Spartacus]

ohhhhhhhhh..
but i don't have a wife either.
i wish i did, then someone else could do my stuff for me.

(i knew what you meant, i was teasing you)

I'll do your "stuff" for you
provided there is consideration given to me
I'll clean your house,I'll clean your ass