I found a horse.

[stilleto]

I was in my home office yesterday afternoon and heard a lot of horse noises out the window. There is a horse farm down the road, but their property runs close enough to mine that I can hear their horses sometimes, so i assumed it was that.

Then i realized it was way too loud, so i looked up and there was a horse on my front lawn. my horse is light brown. this one is dark brown.

I went outside and grabbed the bridle, and it just walked with me all the way to my paddock (not a short walk).

Then i got in my car and drove to the horse farm. The owner did a thorough count of her horses and scanned her fence. it wasn't hers. Another neighbor has 2 horses, so i drove there. nope. not hers.

i drove around for a bit, seeing if i saw anyone out looking, and then i called the state troopers to tell them that if anyone reports a missing horse... i have it.

that was yesterday afternoon. as of right now, nobody has called them.

 

[Cutiebaby]

feed it some oats and choose a name hunnie cause now it is yours...

 

[alien amp pharm]

 

[yonkers weights]

Put some flyers up.

MISSING WHORE. I MEAN HORSE!

 

[stilleto]

Put some flyers up.

MISSING WHORE. I MEAN HORSE!

this town doesn't even have a traffic light.

 

[yonkers weights]

I should of town with a horse in your backyard. Always wanted to maybe one day live in the country. Nice and peaceful but hard to leave the big city...

 

[Faizakafez]

Did you talk exotic in his ear?

for some strange reason i still remember that thread

 

[yonkers weights]

Can I call you the "Horse Whisperer?"
PLEASE!!!!

 

[bw1]

Did you talk exotic in his ear?

for some strange reason i still remember that thread

She'll rub his ........"ears"

 

[fistfullofsteel]

the horse heard through other horses where the sex is at

 

[alien amp pharm]

These jokes/posts are lame.

Come on people you can do better.

 

[Cutiebaby]

These jokes/posts are lame.

Come on people you can do better.

you mean post #3 correct?

 

[Mavafanculo]

word gets around

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/c...ccidentally-had-foreplay-my-horse-555537.html

-

 

[alien amp pharm]

I...heard a lot of horse noises out the window. so i looked up and there was a horse

That wasn't a window, it was a mirror!

 

[stilleto]

I should of town with a horse in your backyard. Always wanted to maybe one day live in the country. Nice and peaceful but hard to leave the big city...

i have lived in both kinds of places and LOVE the country. I'll never leave.

 

[stilleto]

no call yet.

and yonkers- i already own one horse. i know the costs.

 

[musclemom]

That's fucking weird. I've heard of people driving out to the country and letting cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, ferrets and rabbits loose, but a horse

You might want to call the SPCA if you haven't, too.

It was wearing a halter, right? Not a bridle (if it was wearing a bridle that's scary, images of somebody lying on some trail somewhere). Clearly it busted out of somebody's field but who the hell doesn't notice their horse is missing?? Unless the owners left the horse in a field to forage and went on vacation? Shit, we'd never go out of town and leave the horses unattended (which is why I never went on a real vaction until I was able to afford/finagle one myself in my late teens) but people these days, who knows

 

[stilleto]

That's fucking weird. I've heard of people driving out to the country and letting cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, ferrets and rabbits loose, but a horse

You might want to call the SPCA if you haven't, too.

It was wearing a halter, right? Not a bridle (if it was wearing a bridle that's scary, images of somebody lying on some trail somewhere). Clearly it busted out of somebody's field but who the hell doesn't notice their horse is missing?? Unless the owners left the horse in a field to forage and went on vacation? Shit, we'd never go out of town and leave the horses unattended (which is why I never went on a real vaction until I was able to afford/finagle one myself in my late teens) but people these days, who knows

yes, it was wearing a halter. there is a farm behind my house (not like, typical suburb 'behind', but about half a mile or a full mile away.) and they have a lot of cows and horses. I'm guessing its one of theirs, so i'll probably drive by their place later and ask. maybe they haven't even noticed it missing because they have a lot.
if its not theirs, then it could have come from anywhere.

 

[jh1]

Sounds more like the horse found you.

 

[stilleto]

Sounds more like the horse found you.

well yes, you could say that.

i wonder if i could make a horn and put it on him and turn him into a unicorn.

 

[blueta2]

you know u live in the country when.........


I get stray cats, you get stray horses....cool!

 

[musclemom]

Update???

I gotta know how someone lost a horse and didn't notice the damn thing missing for 24 hours.

 

[heatherrae]

that is weird that it was bridled up and no one has come looking for it. One doesn't just leave them bridled up. I hope someone didn't get thrown out in the woods somewhere.

 

[stilleto]

ok, the update. I went to the house where i assumed it must be from and they came out with a shotgun.
I got back in my truck and yelled out that I found a missing horse and wondered if it was theirs. they didn't answer, then went back inside so i drove away and fed the horse that night and the next day. then i made signs and put them up at a few places (which isn't easy when you live in the middle of nowhere), plus at the only market in town.

Then a man called and said it's his horse and I asked where he lives. He told me and I said i went there and someone came out with a friggin' shotgun and he said i'm crazy.
oh, your welcome.

then him and a woman drove over with a saddle, saddled him up and she rode off on him. This morning, they brought me 30 bails of hay and a thank you and an apology.

 

[musclemom]

ok, the update. I went to the house where i assumed it must be from and they came out with a shotgun.
I got back in my truck and yelled out that I found a missing horse and wondered if it was theirs. they didn't answer, then went back inside so i drove away and fed the horse that night and the next day. then i made signs and put them up at a few places (which isn't easy when you live in the middle of nowhere), plus at the only market in town.

Then a man called and said it's his horse and I asked where he lives. He told me and I said i went there and someone came out with a friggin' shotgun and he said i'm crazy.
oh, your welcome.

then him and a woman drove over with a saddle, saddled him up and she rode off on him. This morning, they brought me 30 bails of hay and a thank you and an apology.

That is officially one of the weirdest stories, start to finish, that I have ever heard.

What's hay going for these days? 30 bales, that's not bad.

Weird fucking people ...

 

[stilleto]

That is officially one of the weirdest stories, start to finish, that I have ever heard.

What's hay going for these days? 30 bales, that's not bad.

Weird fucking people ...

i pay 3.50 a bale, so 30 bales is a lot. they have a lot of land, and saw that we have 1 horse compared to their.. i don't know how many. a lot. they have cows and goats too.

they said their fence needed fixing and the horse got out of it that way. i know our trainer often keeps the bridled in the stalls.

 

[heatherrae]

ok, the update. I went to the house where i assumed it must be from and they came out with a shotgun.
I got back in my truck and yelled out that I found a missing horse and wondered if it was theirs. they didn't answer, then went back inside so i drove away and fed the horse that night and the next day. then i made signs and put them up at a few places (which isn't easy when you live in the middle of nowhere), plus at the only market in town.

Then a man called and said it's his horse and I asked where he lives. He told me and I said i went there and someone came out with a friggin' shotgun and he said i'm crazy.
oh, your welcome.

then him and a woman drove over with a saddle, saddled him up and she rode off on him. This morning, they brought me 30 bails of hay and a thank you and an apology.

Holy cow!

You have to laugh at the crazy rednecks who pull shotguns on everyone. Every small town has one of those families.

I once got lost in the country and knocked on someone's door and they ran out with a shotgun. I was running to my car and screeching out of the driveway while they ran after me with a damn shotgun.

I must have looked really intimidating -- all 110 lbs of my little strappy sandal clad frame...lol.

 

[stilleto]

Holy cow!

You have to laugh at the crazy rednecks who pull shotguns on everyone. Every small town has one of those families.

I once got lost in the country and knocked on someone's door and they ran out with a shotgun. I was running to my car and screeching out of the driveway while they ran after me with a damn shotgun.

I must have looked really intimidating -- all 110 lbs of my little strappy sandal clad frame...lol.

lol.
that's pretty much what I was thinking. I have no idea who they thought was coming to their house but
a. there is NO crime here.
b. it was light out. not prime time for a break in.
c. i won't say what kind of truck i drive, but its certainly nothing to be afraid of.
d. I was wearing jeans, flip flops, and a tshirt.

my dad used to come out of his house with a shotgun when he heard people coming up his driveway. it was difficult for me to get a date.

 

[heatherrae]

lol.
that's pretty much what I was thinking. I have no idea who they thought was coming to their house but
a. there is NO crime here.
b. it was light out. not prime time for a break in.
c. i won't say what kind of truck i drive, but its certainly nothing to be afraid of.
d. I was wearing jeans, flip flops, and a tshirt.

my dad used to come out of his house with a shotgun when he heard people coming up his driveway. it was difficult for me to get a date.

LOL...maybe that was your dad who chased me? It was about 8 or 9 pm and I was in a little beige camry when I got chased, but my goodness. Who would be afraid of me?

Well, I guess all is well that ends well.

I bet they thought you "wuz a ferner" and "not from round heyr" because they didn't recognize your truck.

 

[stilleto]

LOL...maybe that was your dad who chased me? It was about 8 or 9 pm and I was in a little beige camry when I got chased, but my goodness. Who would be afraid of me?

Well, I guess all is well that ends well.

I bet they thought you "wuz a ferner" and "not from round heyr" because they didn't recognize your truck.

lol
it wasn't my dad who chased you. cars had to drive uphill for around 10 minutes along a mountainous cliff to get to his house. he was on over 100 acres and i guess he knew that if he wasn't expecting someone, nobody could make the mistake of showing up. Plus, he has some wild and dangerous animals so he definately didn't want anyone showing up.

he came out of the house naked once (he was a nudist) with his shotgut when i came home early from a date. the guy i was with was FREAKED and I was laughing and laughing.

i grew up different.

 

[heatherrae]

lol
it wasn't my dad who chased you. cars had to drive uphill for around 10 minutes along a mountainous cliff to get to his house. he was on over 100 acres and i guess he knew that if he wasn't expecting someone, nobody could make the mistake of showing up. Plus, he has some wild and dangerous animals so he definately didn't want anyone showing up.

he came out of the house naked once (he was a nudist) with his shotgut when i came home early from a date. the guy i was with was FREAKED and I was laughing and laughing.

i grew up different.

What the heck!!!

naked and with a shotgun....

OMG that is priceless!

 

[stilleto]

What the heck!!!

naked and with a shotgun....

OMG that is priceless!

the best part of that was when my date (who was iranian and SO handsome) sees my father and the dogs barking and my dad all dark skinned and naked and holding the gun and he (my date) screamed and said "OMG, who is that???" and I am laughing and got to say,

"my father".

the look was awesome.

they actually became good friends.

 

[heatherrae]

the best part of that was when my date (who was iranian and SO handsome) sees my father and the dogs barking and my dad all dark skinned and naked and holding the gun and he (my date) screamed and said "OMG, who is that???" and I am laughing and got to say,

"my father".

the look was awesome.

they actually became good friends.

That guy must have LOVED you. That would have scared anyone away! lol.

 

[stilleto]

That guy must have LOVED you. That would have scared anyone away! lol.

yeah, i think he did actually. i think i was only 17, but it was a memorable summer.

 

[Mr. dB]

You dated GL?

 

[stilleto]

You dated GL?

GL?
Goldend Lediscious?

 

[ortiz34]

i grew up different.

Like we couldn't tell

 

[stilleto]

Like we couldn't tell

i swear i'm normal now