I am in SHOCK.....

[jenscats5]

Just found out my step-daughter has FAILED out of college......her step-dad worked his butt off to get her a scholarship & due to her 1.0 GPA -- she's lost it. Her classes this semester included 1 failure + 3 retakes.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!

Her parents have babied her for quite some time -- IMO she should be on her own!! Not thrown out of the house -- but time to get a FT job & enough with the BS going out, etc......

 

[KillahBee]

wow. no good. I was close to getting tossed out of college (disciplinary, not academic) so my father threw me a beating. problem solved.

 

[Scotsman]

Wow that sucks, definitely time for her to learn about life and growing up.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[jenscats5]

Wow that sucks, definitely time for her to learn about life and growing up.

Cheers,
Scotsman

I agree..........

Ladies & Gentlemen: Dying time is here!! You don't know what pain is!!

(Disturbed)

 

[Lestat]

shit like that happens, i nearly failed out at one point.. was down to just 2 classes.. had to take some bullshit just to get my gpa up.

I turned it around.. my graduate degree gpa was 3.7

 

[Rex]

That's what daddy gets for doing her dirty work.

Make her get a job, and if she says no then toss her ass out.

 

[seizer]

That really sucks jen, as you may or may not know, I too am having the same problem. I'm not kicked out thankfully, but I did poorly with some courses and now my dad is penalizing me by paying for residence and housing myself. Fair is fair, and its going to be a lesson learned to better myself. Maybe she should take some time off and work, you know, maybe think about what she wants to acheive in life and maybe if she proves her self or if she has to do it on her own money, she can reapply for schooling a little down the road. Hopefully this doesnt become such a pain for you.

 

[nutsnack]

i failed out my first semester my parents cut me off completely and i straightened up real fucking fast when i got hit in the face w/ the real world!!

 

[bran987]

how does this happen?

 

[WODIN]

It's not the end of the world JC. It just seems that way.

 

[artrius]

that'll teach the lil' ho. j/k i hope it goes well for her, she's gonna get a real quick lesson in life in short order...

 

[EnderJE]

Wow. I didn't realize that you can even get a GPA of 1.0.

Kick her out.

 

[WODIN]

You can get a 0.0 without even trying. (Get it!? HAR!!!)

 

[jaded]

wow. my parents would've killed me... that's unacceptable, but it doesn't mean she won't turn shit around. this is her first year right? i didn't do that well my first year either (this past year...albeit not THAT poorly but yeah, LOL). time to make her responsible for her actions and decisions so she'll get her butt in gear. how does she feel about it? is she disappointed in herself?

 

[Rex]

Wow. I didn't realize that you can even get a GPA of 1.0.

Kick her out.

It's like an F minus or some crazy useless grade.

 

[jenscats5]

i failed out my first semester my parents cut me off completely and i straightened up real fucking fast when i got hit in the face w/ the real world!!

I think that's the plan.....or that SHOULD be the plan....

ENOUGH with giving her money when she asks for it, etc etc.....NO MORE.

She needs to get a 40 hour a week job, IMO....Welcome to life!!

And she doesn't live with me. I don't think she should be kicked out of her mom's house IMO, but IMO she should have to pay for everything she wants, etc herself with her own income. As far as I'm concerned she's CUT OFF here -- no more "I don't have any money for X" *whine* *cry* Tough shit, girlie!!

 

[jenscats5]

That really sucks jen, as you may or may not know, I too am having the same problem. I'm not kicked out thankfully, but I did poorly with some courses and now my dad is penalizing me by paying for residence and housing myself. Fair is fair, and its going to be a lesson learned to better myself. Maybe she should take some time off and work, you know, maybe think about what she wants to acheive in life and maybe if she proves her self or if she has to do it on her own money, she can reapply for schooling a little down the road. Hopefully this doesnt become such a pain for you.

No, I had no idea you were in the same situation.... Good luck to you!!

PS -- straighten your ass out!! LOL

 

[jenscats5]

wow. my parents would've killed me... that's unacceptable, but it doesn't mean she won't turn shit around. this is her first year right? i didn't do that well my first year either (this past year...albeit not THAT poorly but yeah, LOL). time to make her responsible for her actions and decisions so she'll get her butt in gear. how does she feel about it? is she disappointed in herself?

Um, her 1st year of a 2 year school..... 1/2 way thru on a full scholarship & flunked out & lost her scholarship.....

Well, I recently asked her about school -- she said she was finished & how it went, etc....she said fine. Ergo, IMO, she lied....not good...

 

[Dial_tone]

It's all because of that damn lip piercing. No problem slingin hash 50 hrs a week at Waffle House can't cure.

 

[Rex]

PS -- straighten your ass out!! LOL

You laugh, but your daughter may be on another chat board and getting the same advice with the lol attached to it.

 

[jaded]

Um, her 1st year of a 2 year school..... 1/2 way thru on a full scholarship & flunked out & lost her scholarship.....

Well, I recently asked her about school -- she said she was finished & how it went, etc....she said fine. Ergo, IMO, she lied....not good...

Yep, she definitely lied, LOL. My parents know when I've done less than stellar because when I'm doing well I'll usually volunteer information whereas when I'm doing shitty I don't bring it up

But yeah, a dose of the "real world" should help her learn her lesson. Maybe a break from school would be beneficial to help her figure out what she wants to do with her life and get her priorities straight since there's no point in wasting money on school just to throw it away with a 1.0 GPA, but if she does take a break from it make sure she has her share of responsibilities so it's not an 'easy out' for her.

 

[Lestat]

Its not the end of the world.. really... college is full of ups and downs.

Don't get too extreme with her, that isn't what she needs, believe me, she already feels like shit for her failures.

 

[awittyusername]

I think that's the plan.....or that SHOULD be the plan....

ENOUGH with giving her money when she asks for it, etc etc.....NO MORE.

She needs to get a 40 hour a week job, IMO....Welcome to life!!

And she doesn't live with me. I don't think she should be kicked out of her mom's house IMO, but IMO she should have to pay for everything she wants, etc herself with her own income. As far as I'm concerned she's CUT OFF here -- no more "I don't have any money for X" *whine* *cry* Tough shit, girlie!!

Exactly right.

I went to school with a bunch of rich spoiled brats. They didn't give a shit about school, car etc. (because their parents paid for everything)

It pissed me off. I didn't have anyone to give me $. So, I busted my ass. When I have kids they will be much better off financially then I was. But, I will make them work for the majority of clothes, car, education, etc. I see what spoiling a kid will do to their future.

 

[jenscats5]

Its not the end of the world.. really... college is full of ups and downs.

Don't get too extreme with her, that isn't what she needs, believe me, she already feels like shit for her failures.

Well, yes, it's not the end of the world.....but it's time for the irresponsible behavior to be over with... And she lied about how she was doing.....

Exactly right.

I went to school with a bunch of rich spoiled brats. They didn't give a shit about school, car etc. (because their parents paid for everything)

It pissed me off. I didn't have anyone to give me $. So, I busted my ass. When I have kids they will be much better off financially then I was. But, I will make them work for the majority of clothes, car, education, etc. I see what spoiling a kid will do to their future.

I agree with this -- it's one thing for your parents to pay for things, but once it's abused over & over again -- then it's time to STOP

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

A shitty job can put the fire in you to succeed.
Jen, don't be too hard. Let the shit settle, then begin to help her see the options that she limited.
You a college grad? Cuz if you're not, then let me tell you - It ain't all roses.
Test stress would mess with me, something awful.

 

[jenscats5]

A shitty job can put the fire in you to succeed.
Jen, don't be too hard. Let the shit settle, then begin to help her see the options that she limited.
You a college grad? Cuz if you're not, then let me tell you - It ain't all roses.
Test stress would mess with me, something awful.

I've been to college 3 times.....2x I busted my ass to do it at night with tuition funding thru work.....

I think she should get a job then if she wants to go back to school she can pay for it herself.....like 1000s of other kids do....

 

[biteme]

Let her pay her own way through school and then she will take it more seriously. I don't know why so many people think the parents should pay their child's way through college. That is what loans and grants are for and the student will work much harder when it's their own money they're shelling out.

 

[chewyxrage]

How do you fuck up a full scholarship? I can gaurantee she was skipping almost all of her classes. Still...I did that and still at least managed to pass them w/ C's . Was it a local college? Or was she away from home....?

 

[Raptorex]

Sorry, her ass would be out the door if she was my daughter...send her to hairdressing school

 

[seizer]

Let her pay her own way through school and then she will take it more seriously. I don't know why so many people think the parents should pay their child's way through college. That is what loans and grants are for and the student will work much harder when it's their own money they're shelling out.

I know exactly what you mean here biteme. I agree with you 100%, I just think the only reason why parents really feel like they wanna help their kids with the funding is because a)the dont want them to worry about work when they should be focusing on their studies and b)they dont want them to be stuck with a debt after their done school. Some students can handle being helped by their parents and have excellent marks. I am one of those students who cant do well with my parents funding. I'm getting a job next year and I'll be damned if I waste my own money on not busting my ass in the books. Teens dont come this far to fail, with a year or two of full time work, jens step daughter will be well prepared to study, she'll know she doesnt want to end up living pay check to paycheck and she'll be more appreciative of the opportunity she has with school and wont wast the money spent on it.

Failure is what some people need to succeed. They fuck up and then come back 5x as hard. Redemption is sweet.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

I've been to college 3 times.....2x I busted my ass to do it at night with tuition funding thru work.....

Uh, damn. Respect

I think she should get a job then if she wants to go back to school she can pay for it herself.....like 1000s of other kids do....

atleast part time.

btw, what degree(s) do you have?

 

[gotmilk]

What's a retake?

I thought a failure is a failure......

 

[seizer]

What's a retake?

I thought a failure is a failure......

Failure is failure. But universities arent stupid, they know that complete retards dont make it university and that their reason for failing may be for other reasons not dealing with academics. If they continue to fail, then the institution tells the student that this probably isnt whats fit for them and gives them their thank letter.

 

[chewyxrage]

What's a retake?

I thought a failure is a failure......

Here, a re-take would replace a previous failure. But if you fail the retake, then yeah...totally pointless. I replaced a D with a B last semester...NIU allows you do to it a couple times. Gave my GPA a lil boost.

 

[Dial_tone]

my freshman year I'm not sure I had a 4.0 if you added the GPA of all three quarters together. One of my high school buddies came very close to flunking out. He now has a B.S., Masters and a J.D.

 

[chewyxrage]

lol, first semester I got a 1.8, needed a 2.0 by the end of the year to stay which I did easily. 3.4 and 3.5 this year, I learned

 

[gotmilk]

Wow...I went to two schools and never heard of retakes.

1.0 is like not even going to class anymore.....

 

[jenscats5]

Uh, damn. Respect

Thanks!!

atleast part time.

btw, what degree(s) do you have?

I have an Assoc. in Science (general) --> parents paid for that.........I also have an Assoc in Accounting + a BS in Accounting --> both of which I got by going to school at night

What's a retake?

I thought a failure is a failure......

I have no idea what a retake is.......I went to this same school 2x & never heard of it....

How do you fuck up a full scholarship? I can gaurantee she was skipping almost all of her classes. Still...I did that and still at least managed to pass them w/ C's . Was it a local college? Or was she away from home....?

It's a community college -- they offer 2 year Associate Degrees. Right around the corner from her house....

Her step-dad is is pretty upset -- he's had a very hard year with 2 of his own kids. He got her this scholarship (paid for EVERYTHING) thru his job & he's pretty upset. Her mom is freaking out....

 

[Sub-Zero]

Just found out my step-daughter has FAILED out of college......her step-dad worked his butt off to get her a scholarship & due to her 1.0 GPA -- she's lost it. Her classes this semester included 1 failure + 3 retakes.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!

Her parents have babied her for quite some time -- IMO she should be on her own!! Not thrown out of the house -- but time to get a FT job & enough with the BS going out, etc......

u just found this out after a year of college?

shiiz.

most kids fail their first year of college supposedly anyhow, so i say make her get a job beat the shit out of her and make her feel really crappy, but in the long run give her one more chance to prove herself (not sure on her background and past shenanagins, but from a neutral standpoint, thats my suggestion).

btw, is she hot?

 

[Eringobraugh]

She's young, they do dumb things. IMO the worst thing you can do is to make it harder for her to go to college. I had friends that their parents did that to them and they never went anywhere while others parents stuck by their side through the bad grades and they turned out great and pulled it out of the mud. Being disappointed is one thing but making her work in the real world instead of keep working at it in college is nuts, seriously, she needs an education in this world to make it and Im sure someone will retort oh she blew it, she should have to suffer blah. If my kid ever blew it like that, Id redouble my efforts in keeping them in college not flipping burgers somewhere wasting their youth when they should be in college classrooms.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Wow. I didn't realize that you can even get a GPA of 1.0.

Kick her out.

i dunno about college, but some kid named marvin who wants to be a barber who would come to art class and do nothing, had a .75 gpa

 

[jenscats5]

She's young, they do dumb things. IMO the worst thing you can do is to make it harder for her to go to college. I had friends that their parents did that to them and they never went anywhere while others parents stuck by their side through the bad grades and they turned out great and pulled it out of the mud. Being disappointed is one thing but making her work in the real world instead of keep working at it in college is nuts, seriously, she needs an education in this world to make it and Im sure someone will retort oh she blew it, she should have to suffer blah. If my kid ever blew it like that, Id redouble my efforts in keeping them in college not flipping burgers somewhere wasting their youth when they should be in college classrooms.

So I have to take my time & actually drive her to class & then do her homework for her?? Cuz she won't do it herself??

I'm not paying for schooling where she doesn't do the work or go to the classes.....No freakin' way....

 

[Sub-Zero]

How do you fuck up a full scholarship? I can gaurantee she was skipping almost all of her classes. Still...I did that and still at least managed to pass them w/ C's . Was it a local college? Or was she away from home....?

u know what girls do while their skipping too

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Put her in a POW camp then...

 

[jenscats5]

Put her in a POW camp then...

The Army!!

 

[Eringobraugh]

I guess you know best, doesnt sound like you like her very much, best to let her fall flat on her face

 

[Sub-Zero]

So I have to take my time & actually drive her to class & then do her homework for her?? Cuz she won't do it herself??

I'm not paying for schooling where she doesn't do the work or go to the classes.....No freakin' way....

ask her if shes willing to try, beat her ass, guilt her, break her teeth and make her ugly so she cant marry for wealth

 

[biteme]

So I have to take my time & actually drive her to class & then do her homework for her?? Cuz she won't do it herself??

I'm not paying for schooling where she doesn't do the work or go to the classes.....No freakin' way....

I don't agree with that either. Anyone with any work ethic at all should be able to go to school and work part time. I wouldn't pay her way a second time. No way.

 

[jenscats5]

I guess you know best, doesnt sound like you like her very much, best to let her fall flat on her face

Uhhhhh, okayyyyyy.........dood this is only 1 part of everything else she's taken advantage of, had opportunity of, etc & chose not to do. She chose this route and her parents babied her.

She was in one the best schools around here and would NOT do the work, turn in assignments, etc for grade school/high school. she had to leave the school and go to some crappy public school while we all worked to pay off the loans for the $$$$ she chose to flunk out of. It's a pattern of behavior with her.

And as the step mom my decision doesn't count anyway.....

And I don't have to dislike the person, to dislike their behavior or actions...

 

[jenscats5]

I don't agree with that either. Anyone with any work ethic at all should be able to go to school and work part time. I wouldn't pay her way a second time. No way.

She was working part time while "in school." And I'm putting "in school" in quotes as there's question she actually went.....

 

[HiDnGoD]

I know exactly what you mean here biteme. I agree with you 100%, I just think the only reason why parents really feel like they wanna help their kids with the funding is because a)the dont want them to worry about work when they should be focusing on their studies and b)they dont want them to be stuck with a debt after their done school. Some students can handle being helped by their parents and have excellent marks. I am one of those students who cant do well with my parents funding. I'm getting a job next year and I'll be damned if I waste my own money on not busting my ass in the books. Teens dont come this far to fail, with a year or two of full time work, jens step daughter will be well prepared to study, she'll know she doesnt want to end up living pay check to paycheck and she'll be more appreciative of the opportunity she has with school and wont wast the money spent on it.

Failure is what some people need to succeed. They fuck up and then come back 5x as hard. Redemption is sweet.

Yup, & 2 yrs slingin hash or mopping floors will teach her the value of post-secondary education

 

[jenscats5]

Yup, & 2 yrs slingin hash or mopping floors will teach her the value of post-secondary education

Customer service for a bank....

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Customer service for a bank....

that's prolly a better job then half the EF peeps have

 

[Eringobraugh]

see below VVV

 

[seizer]

Jen, here's my honest opinion. As someone who has had step parents walk in and out of my life like teens do burger joints, I know what kinda influence they can have. The kids dont see them so much as parents as much as they do friends. She's gonna get hounded by her biological parents enough as it is ontop of already feeling like a waste of life for fucking up. Perhaps step in and kinda be almost like a sister and try to help her out. What I'm going through isnt quite as bad as her situation, but regardless, I feel like shit everyday and being away from home right now still at school...I dont want to go back home. I dont want to see my dad. She's probably feeling similar to me. And you, someone whose been through it 3 times, try to talk with her, try to show her why its worth it to pick up her socks and try. I remember when my dad was mad with me in my earlier teens, my step mom would talk with me in private without my dad and really try to connect with me...talk heart to heart and not try preach but kind of show me whats best. I really liked her for that, and she got me through some rough times.

My dad and I talked on the phone, he and I are different now. He no longer talks down to me, we see eye to eye. Any decision that I want to make is my own. If those decisions fuck up my life, so be it. But he told me, "Son, you have to understand what this schooling means. It's a few years of hard work. THATS IT. Forget about partying now, that will come later. You can either work hard now and be set later on in life or you can party now and forget about school and have to bust your ass doing hard labour or some crap ass job that you dont want for the remainder of your life. We are talking about 4-7 years of bootcamp as opposed to the rest of your life." Thats not saying that there is no work after school, but compared to what you'll be faced it with, its the way to go. But I now know that nobody is gonna wait up for me if I fail, and neither will anyone for her...you really gotta get that into her mind or else she is really gonna suffer down the line.