how to cope

[future1]

hi everyone,

i a week ago i was involved in a car accident and lost my best friend. the only that kept me straight was my g/f yesterday she broke up with me.She was really someone special to me and we were serious abt each other. Now things are really going from bad to worse and dunno what to do. I do not have the heart to go back training or eating or nothing at all. I was in the middle of a cycle of sust and boldenone 5th week when this happened. I was soo upset that i threw all my gears in the rubbish.
I saw a councellor but it is not helping. would you have any suggestion on to cope with this or try to get back my girl? i have not called her since then

 

[tical]

I know how hard it is to lose a girlfriend unexpectedly, on top of the accident you were in the timing couldn't be worse. Keep your head up and keep moving forward bro. Go out, keep yourself busy and in a couple weeks things won't seem as bad as they are now.

Call your girl, see what she has to say... maybe she was overwhelmed with everything going on. Find out, it's not pussy shit to do if you really cared about her. I know it sounds cliche and your heart is set on that her, but there ARE plenty of fish in the sea.

And if you quit your cycle I'd definitely hop on a PCT as soon as possible... not just for muscle retention but low levels could result in short term depression and you definitely don't need that right now. Ups and downs baby, thats life! Good luck!

 

[Nucman]

I just lost my mother at the end of July. Life sucks sometimes, real bad. I think about her everyday, and wonder why, at only 62. I didn't feel like doing anything, and for sure not like workingout. Just now, I'm getting back into it, and I feel better. It's going to take time, and some soul searching. DO NOT turn to alcohol or drugs, they WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE. I agree with tical, PCT to help get those levels back to normal, or they will make your depression worse.

About your gf, this is a bad time to breakup with someone so close, that could help you deal with this tragedy. All you can do is talk to her, and try to work it out. I have no idea why, but I'm sure she knows of all the stress you've been under recently.

Keep your head up, life will get better, it just takes time, sometimes more than others.

 

[future1]

thanks a lot for your support. My g/f was everything to me. she was soo understanding and caring and whatever i have was because of her. Eveything reminds me of her. my job, my car, everything. Life can be soo cruel. I just wish she knows how much i love her.
I cnt deal with two lossses in my life.

 

[NoWork]

You're not alone bro. I just found out last night that my girlfriend of 5 years has been seeing someone else. On top of that, when she got home, she didn't have the decency to even talk about it. I feel alone. I just keep telling myself it will get better.

I've always felt my best when I work out and eat right, so I will continue to do so. I will also surround myself w/ family. It will take time, but it will all blow over, and you may even become best friends yourself. Good luck bro.

 

[glennds]

what a bitch! she couldn't wait a while after you lost your best friend?!?! i hope SHE gets cancer.

anyhow future1, you might think it is the end of the world but it isn't. in time you will find someone else who would not abandon you at a time like this. you are better off without her. sorry about your friend though, that is very tough.

 

[Synpax]

get back in that gym bro

 

[future1]

nowork, sorry no hear abt what happened. for me if she cheayed then at least i will understand but this girl is how can i say it " the one". i want to get training but my gym is far away and i need to drive. i have not even gone to work cause i cnt handle driving anymore. What i am scared is with g/f leaving with this i might just do something stupid by being behid the wheel.

 

[slat1]

I'm 31 bro... seen it all. I can't count how many times I thought it was the end of the world.. yet.. here I am. I am a better person because of it.
I have had financial troubles, troubles with the law, troubles with women, troubles with losing loved ones... it always hurts! It takes time. Start eating, go to the gym, get in shape and get yourself together. Self pitty is not attractive. Confidence is. I am confident in you that you will get through this.. realize that you will and you will be mentally stronger for it. The gym is a great stress outlet.. use it to your advantage. Let this be the thing that motivates you to get in the best shape of you life. You'll feel good about what you are doing and everything else will start to take care of itself!
Good Luck

 

[Laser]

Work, eat, sleep has always been my remedy to troubling times.

 

[future1]

nowork, sorry no hear abt what happened. for me if she cheayed then at least i will understand but this girl is how can i say it " the one". i want to get training but my gym is far away and i need to drive. i have not even gone to work cause i cnt handle driving anymore. What i am scared is with g/f leaving with this i might just do something stupid by being behid the wheel.

 

[SCK]

hi everyone,

i a week ago i was involved in a car accident and lost my best friend. the only that kept me straight was my g/f yesterday she broke up with me.She was really someone special to me and we were serious abt each other. Now things are really going from bad to worse and dunno what to do. I do not have the heart to go back training or eating or nothing at all. I was in the middle of a cycle of sust and boldenone 5th week when this happened. I was soo upset that i threw all my gears in the rubbish.
I saw a councellor but it is not helping. would you have any suggestion on to cope with this or try to get back my girl? i have not called her since then

future1,

If your g/f was so understanding and caring of you why did she exactly leave you? Even moreso why the heck has it(the breakup) happened just after the accident?

Are the two events somehow interwoven I'm wondering?

Yeah, talk to her. Find out what's going on in her mind and if she is "the one" as you put it plus understanding as well as caring then she ought to be unconditionally doing her part now especially when you need her the most.

I am not a strong supporter of "the one" soulmate, but I won't argue about it either.

It seems to me that she gave up the relationship from this event, this overloaded mess (accident + death + loss + depression + anxiety etc)

You need to find out if love was lost as a result of this mess, whether or not that she was basically unable to cope with so many awful events happening OR the relationship didn't go so well prior to the accident.
You need to know this not just from your perception, but from her perception too bro.

As for the gym, your cycle and how driving to the gym has become problematic, I suggest just deal with the mental aspect of you and your loved ones first before hitting the gym. I think the psyche is currently needing more attention than the physical aspects of yourself, so get through this phase first.
A body you desire will come later on with work and dedication, but just not now.

"Eveything reminds me of her. my job, my car, everything"
This last bit touched me also.

I'll try to be here if you need more support, just shout for me.

 

[liquidmuscle]

GOD does not give us what we cannot handle, take a deep breath and take it a day at a time

 

[future1]

How To Cope

thanks for your support. i cnt call her and bear the thought of her saying why im still calling her. i really treated her well. i mean she lives 200 miles away from me next to her uni and i used to drive down every week just to spend time with her. if she was upset i will there within 2 hrs. i mean she like my baby not just my g/f. I was trying to cope with the death but this break up just shattered me.

 

[gonelifting]

Talk to her as friends if she`ll do that, since she understands you and the trougbles you`re going through. That`s maybe all you need right now. Ask her. If she was as good/understanding as you say, she`l do it and listen to you for a little while.

Also, people get a little depressed going of gear to begin with, you have done that (dropped the gear) at the worst possible time IMO. Anyway, good luck with it. It WILL get better.

 

[slickdadd]

Why in the hell did she break up with you a week after you lost your best friend? What a heartless piece of shit. If that is true I would never talk to her again. That is the exact opposite of a caring, loving person. To hell with her.

 

[glennds]

i a week ago i was involved in a car accident and lost my best friend. the only that kept me straight was my g/f yesterday she broke up with me.

did you have something to do with his death, unintentionally of course? sorry to be so blunt but reread your post and couldn't help but wonder. did you somehow cause the accident? was there alcohol involved? your story is sad but it seems there is more you have not told us.

 

[future1]

that night of the accident, i was not supposed to go out and i dragged him along with me. He took his car instead of mine and we went out. I had a couple of drinks so i suggested him to drive as he didnt drink. I feel so responsible for his death. If i didnt call him that night he wuld still be alive, if i drove he may be a live. The worst thing is I always drive the car but this time cause alcohol i puished him to drive

 

[future1]

the thing is she has a lot of friends here since she grew up in this country whereas i havve only been here for 2 yrs and am working so socialising is very hard. I feel really lonely.

 

[DIVISION]

hi everyone,

i a week ago i was involved in a car accident and lost my best friend. the only that kept me straight was my g/f yesterday she broke up with me.She was really someone special to me and we were serious abt each other. Now things are really going from bad to worse and dunno what to do. I do not have the heart to go back training or eating or nothing at all. I was in the middle of a cycle of sust and boldenone 5th week when this happened. I was soo upset that i threw all my gears in the rubbish.
I saw a councellor but it is not helping. would you have any suggestion on to cope with this or try to get back my girl? i have not called her since then

I'm sorry about your troubles, bro. First of all, why did she break up with you so suddenly after the tragedy? What is her reason? Secondly, you need to get your ass back in the gym, it will help you cope with the pain. Use the weight as a motivation to keep going; I don't think you should have stopped your cycle. You threw away the Sustanon and Boldnenone? Do you have the money to get any more?

The main thing, bro is that you need to keep your workouts up, don't let this tragedy break you, my man. You need to heal yourself before you should even consider getting back with your GF. Why did she break up with you?

DIV

 

[future1]

i dunno yet properly but 4 days ago she broke up telling me that she was confused and she did not know why she is still alive and all that so next day i met up with her and we just talked and she just hugged and told me she culd not let go of me and that im the light in her dark tunnel. things were going great , we spent a whole day in my bed just her in my arms and it was wonderfull. then on friday night she was on the phone with me and she said she was really tired . couple of minutes later i called her and my phone is showing that she is on another call. this went on to 3 oclock am. so on saturday i went to ask her what was happening. the thing i was sooo upset abt everything and didnt sleep that night so i asked if she wants to see someone else and she said no. but i asked to explain what happen with the phone and she did not know so then it was just pure build up of couple of days and she just broke down. i know she wuldnt do that. i told her i was soorry and i did not mean that. She is naturally suspicious girl and but i never got offended when she sometimes ask me question and i always tell her everything so there are no secrest between us

 

[DIVISION]

i dunno yet properly but 4 days ago she broke up telling me that she was confused and she did not know why she is still alive and all that so next day i met up with her and we just talked and she just hugged and told me she culd not let go of me and that im the light in her dark tunnel. things were going great , we spent a whole day in my bed just her in my arms and it was wonderfull. then on friday night she was on the phone with me and she said she was really tired . couple of minutes later i called her and my phone is showing that she is on another call. this went on to 3 oclock am. so on saturday i went to ask her what was happening. the thing i was sooo upset abt everything and didnt sleep that night so i asked if she wants to see someone else and she said no. but i asked to explain what happen with the phone and she did not know so then it was just pure build up of couple of days and she just broke down. i know she wuldnt do that. i told her i was soorry and i did not mean that. She is naturally suspicious girl and but i never got offended when she sometimes ask me question and i always tell her everything so there are no secrest between us

Bro, I'm trying to help you, but what you just told me does nothing to explain why she broke up with you. Are you guys broke up or not? How old are you and her?

GO TO THE GYM!!!!!! KEEP WORKING OUT, DON'T LET THIS STOP YOU FROM KEEPING YOUR HEALTH, STRENGTH etc.

DIV

 

[future1]

see that's the problem i dunno either why she broke up. she said she is confused and cnt talk abt it to me and no one else. she is 20 and im 23. i know u r going to say im still very young but it felt so right

 

[DIVISION]

see that's the problem i dunno either why she broke up. she said she is confused and cnt talk abt it to me and no one else. she is 20 and im 23. i know u r going to say im still very young but it felt so right

Listen, bro.

You are so young that you can move on and it won't hold you back. First off, concentrate on keep your workouts up and getting over your friend's death. Just have a cooling off period between you and your girl and focus on moving on with your life. Please, for your own sake, focus on getting past the grief and look at this as an important life lesson.

Hope this helps.

DIV

 

[future1]

that is true... i mean usually one bad thing happens and u can have sort of get over it. but put this way. within a two weeks frames, my b/f passed away and the day i got out of the hospital, my uncle passed away, my car that i just bought needs a whole new gear worth i think £1000 ($2000), 3 days later my g/f breaks up. I still cnt believe all thses things are happening, i mean even in the worst nightmare this wuldnt happen

 

[sheep-head]

it's hard, but the only person you can rely on to help you through this is yourself, life throws challenges at everyone, you seem to have had a few big ones all at once, it seems easy to say, but you have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off

forget the girl, if you want give it one more try, but after that forget her

what would your friend want you to do? probably get on with life rather than slip into depression, of course it is natural to mourn, I wish you good luck

 

[DIVISION]

that is true... i mean usually one bad thing happens and u can have sort of get over it. but put this way. within a two weeks frames, my b/f passed away and the day i got out of the hospital, my uncle passed away, my car that i just bought needs a whole new gear worth i think £1000 ($2000), 3 days later my g/f breaks up. I still cnt believe all thses things are happening, i mean even in the worst nightmare this wuldnt happen

Yes, bro it's a difficult time for you. Get yourself STR8 first and foremost......you can't be any good to a girlfriend when you are a wreck like this. Stand up and Go on with your life, nugga.....

LIFE GOES ON.......you're gonna look back at this shit like it was a trying time and you're gonna laugh about later.

Talk it out with the counselor and things are gonna be alright......



DIV

 

[future1]

i so want to pull myself up and im trying so hard. Whenever problems i ever had she was always there with me. it is like i just lost my foundation suddenly. i did not see it coming. as you all said i need sort myself out.
The thing i dnt have many friends which are girls as i had really bad experience with that so now it is hard to talk to someone. I really appreciate all your help but that one hug from someone special. i dunno how to explain it.

 

[DIVISION]

i so want to pull myself up and im trying so hard. Whenever problems i ever had she was always there with me. it is like i just lost my foundation suddenly. i did not see it coming. as you all said i need sort myself out.
The thing i dnt have many friends which are girls as i had really bad experience with that so now it is hard to talk to someone. I really appreciate all your help but that one hug from someone special. i dunno how to explain it.

I understand that loss of that foundation, but you gotta get yourself STR8 in order to be in a relationship. Be strong, man and work through this shit. If you need any kind of advice, just PM me on the DL.

DIV

 

[georgie24]

when she comes back groveling and crying..and she will...tell her to fuck off

 

[DIVISION]

when she comes back groveling and crying..and she will...tell her to fuck off

You're not helping, Lil' georgie24.....

He's trying to get her back still, so please hold off on the hate.....


DIV

 

[future1]

If i hated her i could make her life miserable. Put it this way i have a tape of us u know making love which i recorded with her consent . i could just send it to her house and her friends or put it on the net but im not that kind of guy and i dnt want to hate her either.

 

[DIVISION]

If i hated her i could make her life miserable. Put it this way i have a tape of us u know making love which i recorded with her consent . i could just send it to her house and her friends or put it on the net but im not that kind of guy and i dnt want to hate her either.

Fuck that hate talk, nugga....

GO 2 the GYM and work out your stress....

Trust me, it is WORTH IT and WILL HELP YOU.


DIV

 

[future1]

she comes from a good and strict family as well so i know how much stress she is under. She tried once to kill herself cause her dad shouted at her so...

 

[DIVISION]

Fuck that hate talk, nugga....

GO 2 the GYM and work out your stress....

Trust me, it is WORTH IT and WILL HELP YOU.

I know I'm beating it 2 death, but please take this advice, nugga...


DIV

 

[future1]

u r right , but i cnt get to the gym anymore. i cnt even drive. i get dropped at work nowdays,. anyway i will try to call her in couple of days or send flowers and see what she says

 

[DIVISION]

u r right , but i cnt get to the gym anymore. i cnt even drive. i get dropped at work nowdays,. anyway i will try to call her in couple of days or send flowers and see what she says

Just break it down for her, how you are feeling and what your true intentions are for you and her. Bare your soul, nugga......sharing your feelings with her will help you get over this, regardless of whether you get back together with her or not. You can still remain friends with her and still talk to her as I'm sure you both are mourning the loss of your friend.


DIV

 

[future1]

the thing she does not that well my b/f or neither my uncle so i doubt she will be mourning. I think i am just going to write down everything i fell about her and send it to her as you said.

 

[DIVISION]

the thing she does not that well my b/f or neither my uncle so i doubt she will be mourning. I think i am just going to write down everything i fell about her and send it to her as you said.

Good man.

Stay true to your feelings and let her know....


DIV

 

[future1]

will let u know how it went soon, most probably will write the letter tonight

 

[Gymgurl]

First and foremost........go to the gym or run or do something that will help relieve some stress. Second....go see a counselor. You have had way to much grief to try to work through this alone! You are NOT responsible and your gf is a jerk for breaking up with you in the middle of all this stuff. So my professional advice (yep used to do this for a living lol) is to please go see someone to help sort all this out! The gf issue is one that I can't tell you why it happend, sure picked a horrible time for it. But maybe she can't deal with stress and what you are going through...she is young.

So.....1. Get active
2. Find a good counselor

 

[DIVISION]

will let u know how it went soon, most probably will write the letter tonight

I wish you the best of all things, please let us know how things turn out.

DIV

 

[future1]

i went to see a councellor but not really helpfull though

 

[future1]

oh shit, i am just at work and i dnt know i have this feeling in my stomach and suddenly threw up in the bathroom. anyway ever had that feeling.

 

[DIVISION]

oh shit, i am just at work and i dnt know i have this feeling in my stomach and suddenly threw up in the bathroom. anyway ever had that feeling.

Yes.

I upped the chuck in traffic.....if you think it's bad in the bathroom, imagine throwing up out a car door in bumper 2 bumper action.....

DIV

 

[future1]

it is kind of fucked cause i did not eat anything either so was throwing just water. i dunno i feell soooscared or i dunno that feeling like the world is going to end....thought by going to work it will help me but it is not happening

 

[Culero]

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship - it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever - expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim - and cause to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.

If we can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth then we can start having more functional relationships. A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson.

As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever - we are set up to fail. As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply - using another person as our drug of choice. That is not True Love - nor is it Loving.

 

[future1]

u r right culero. if it is true love then it will happen otherwise it is not.
I just wish life was easier....

 

[future1]

I would like to sincerely thank everyone for their support. I never thought i would get that many replies. It is really nice to know there are people enough to care about some guy and spend time replying to him.
My best wishes for everyone. Thank you again

 

[SCK]

Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship - it is natural and healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever - expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctional. Expectations set us up to be a victim - and cause to abandon ourselves in search of our goal.

If we can start seeing relationships not as the goal but as opportunities for growth then we can start having more functional relationships. A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson.

As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever -we are set up to fail. As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply - using another person as our drug of choice. That is not True Love - nor is it Loving.

I agree with you .... it's quite theoretical though.

Not sure abou this last part: "As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply - using another person as our drug of choice."