How the fuck are you supposed to balance bodybuilding and a social life?

[LeviathanX]

6000-7000 calories/day?! That's crazy Frackal, how come you are taking in so much? Aren't you putting on a lot of fat with that sort of diet? If that's an entirely clean diet you must be a poor, poor man. I was at 4200 for 4 months, and now I've cut carbs and upped protein so I'm around 3600 for the next 2 months.

Anyway, other than that I sympathize with your situation. I work a 9:00 - 5:00pm job right now, and workout when I get home for about an hour 5 days/week and on top of that do teach and train in martial arts 2 days/week - so that takes me to about 8:00pm after commute, workout, and shower. Then I have to prepare my meals for the next day. This takes me about an hour. So now we're at 9:00pm. On weeknights I like to get 8 hours of sleep, and I get up at 7:15am to go to work - so that gives me 2 hours and 15 minutes to have a social life on weeknights (NOTE: I need to eat 2 meals within that time frame - 1 at 9:00pm and 1 at 11:15pm).

The problem with BBing is that it is an all or nothing endeavour. If you sacrifice your diet you aren't going to grow, if you sacrifice your training you aren't going to grow, if you sacrifice your rest you aren't going to grow. So we get caught up in trying to cover every base to make sure that we grow, at the expense of other activities.

 

[Frackal]

Exactly leviathan...as far as my diet, well I probably pay roughly 1/3 (maybe a bit less) for my food and since I live with my momma it helps...seriously this is what I need to maximize my gains...I thankfully do not put fat on. I've never been fat or near it...normally I gain about 1-2lbs of fat around the abdomen but not enough to cover my abs. My diet is roughly 85% clean depending on how you define it. I also drink 1 gallon of whole milk per day along with 4 whole food meals and 1 shake of honey and whey.

 

[supersizeme]

Frackal try looking at it from another perspective. Do you want to wake up when you're 30 years old, look in the mirror and say "Wow I'm pretty fucking ripped, but holy shit I haven't had a day of fun(i.e. gotten laid) in the past 10 years." You sound like you need a life and to understand that other things in life are just as important as looking like you can single-handedly pull the arms and legs off an elephant.
I have read about people in similar situations on other boards. I'm not saying this is you, but in these other cases it's painfully obvious why these other people seem to go the extreme route of dedication in bodybuilding. Most of these people have absolutely no social life and a job that they can basically go to and stare at the wall for 8 hours a day. Thus they cling to bodybuilding and embrace it as something that is so sacred and time consuming, that they simply don't have time for anything else. But the fact is, they have nothing else going on.
Everyone has this fear that, oh my god I won't make any gains if I don't abstain from alcohol, partying, and everything else that is fun and concentrate solely on diet, training, and sleep. What a bunch of horseshit. Over the course of a year and a half when I first started out, I drank both nights of the weekend and usually at least once during the week, smoked weed at least 3-4 times a week, but followed a good diet and I still put on about 30lbs of muscle in that time and looked better than I ever have in my life. And guess what, I had fun the whole time. I wasn't at home on a Friday night because I was afraid of being out for 5-6 hours without a meal or because maybe tomorrow was heavy deadlifts. F that. Life is way too short.
As far as it being difficult to find a girl who will be accepting of your lifestyle, you're pretty much right. 99% of the females you run across won't be having it. You know why? Because women want your attention. Two hours a day dedicated to the gym, all the inconvenience that the meal timing brings, plus saying "Leg today is tomorrow" as an excuse for why you two can't go out and do something fun that night all in the name of a lifestyle which revolves solely around you looking good and getting bigger muscles will be a huge turnoff for a female. Sure when you first start dating a girl she may be tolerant of it, but after about 6 months once that honeymoon period is over, she's gonna get pretty fuckin tired of it and then the fighting will start. You may find a girl who digs your body and wants to parade you around like a trophy to her friends, but that's not the kind of girl you want. I personally wouldn't want to date a girl who is hardcore into fitness. Because I'm past the phase where all I want to talk about is the exciting details of how my back workout was that day and how many grams of carbs I put away. It would drive me nuts to hear about that all the time. Plus the body dysmorphia that comes along with it. Hearing about how someone thinks they look like crap when they are in fantastic shape, you just want to slap those people and go, "WAKE UP MOTHAFUCKA. YOU LOOK GOOD." It's unattractive at best.
So I guess the whole point of this is what everyone else said, "balance." You can still be a working out, jacked up, strong as shit brother and still be having a good time while doing it.

 

[b fold the truth]

If you want to be great...you have to give up a lot...just depends on how bad you want to be great...

B True

 

[the nature boy]

ssme, you totally hit the nail on the head. well said brother.

 

[CAGED whiteman]

Re: Re: How the fuck are you supposed to balance bodybuilding and a social life?

You need to take yourself a little less seriously.

1 - If you are in the gym 2 hours a day every day - something is wrong with your training. Stop the chit-chat and just lift.

2 - Tell me one reason why going on a date will interfere with your nutritional regimine.

3 - You can't go out because leg day is tomorrow?? Sorry dude - that's a little whacked.


I can totally relate to being dedicated to eating, sleeping and training but you need a life.

you also forgot the countless hours he spends online late at night. i bet your one of those guys that wont have one beer when you go out cause you think you will get fat...you could very well be the biggest loser on elite. everytime i read a post or thread of yours i cant help but to feel sorry for you!!!!

 

[HighIntensity]

Re: Re: Re: How the fuck are you supposed to balance bodybuilding and a social life?

you also forgot the countless hours he spends online late at night. i bet your one of those guys that wont have one beer when you go out cause you think you will get fat...you could very well be the biggest loser on elite. everytime i read a post or thread of yours i cant help but to feel sorry for you!!!!

your on a fitness chat board to spew hate, whats that say, loser.
I bet your the kind of guy who has never been laided by a girl with teeth, never had underwear without stains, never read a book without pictures in it...think about the absurdity of your above statement and then get back to me.

toodles champ

 

[b fold the truth]

I read this thread and realize that people are using lots of negatives...and they are describing me...haha.

Yeah...I don't go out the night before an event training day...watch what I eat (make sure I eat enough), sleep a lot, try to be stress free (not possible...lol), and make tons of sacrifices for my training. It is worth it to ME...it may not be to everyone...but if you think that anyone who is great at their sport doesn't make those same sacrifices and more...you are wrong.

B True

 

[Addicted]

SSME summed it up perfect...

do you want to become a competitive BB? Many people get caught up in th sport, obsessed you might say, the key is balance, and realizign that missing a meal here or there, or having a few drinks isn't going to make or break you. If you train hard and eat right the majority of the time the gains will come, regardless of whether you go out and party a bit.

I got caught up in it when I was younger, ballooned to 240, wore a 52 inch tux for my sisters wedding, shunned the food at the reception, blablabla...basically seperated myself from a lot of people socially, training (and eating came first) I look back now and laugh at how stupid I was. And god forbid I did anything else, I might injure myself....I quit playing ice hockey etc. Now I snowboard 40 days a year, in fact I separated my AC joint last November, I train much less frequently in the winter so I can enjoy other things. I am currently 205 train heavy and intense for about an hour three or four times a week, and realize you don't have to make it your life to live the life.

 

[Puc]

frack... you know my opinion on this....

bodybuilding is an obsession that oftentimes results from self-hate, depression, and anxiety.

i used to be one of them. i had a job in which i did nothing and had no social life. i was depressed and i justified my sadness via bodybuilding.

working out is not bad, but the bodybuilding lifestyle is inherently obsessive. It must control you and encapsulate you or you are not doing it right. when you obsess about any one aspect of life the rest lies fallow.

this place is the worst, because people who can post on a message board have free time, and talking to people on line like this has a pseudo "imaginary friend" effect.

i might be wrong, but there are so many correlations... some of them must be salient... so many bodybuilders are recreational drug users, that must be a sign of depression and anxiety... even the act of working out is masochistic -- you are causing yourself pain... the steroids and high protein diets cause medical problems, but the bodybuilder mindset is one of immediacy, so they don't care... they will destroy themselves in a quest for an unattainable ideal -- perfection.

i lost several years of my life to depression, anxiety, and bodybuilding, and i am not going back.

and no, frack, this is not universal, there are exceptions, but they are exceptions to the paradigm...