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how many married couples here both work and pay the bills?

HAYEZ

Crack Peddler
Platinum
just wondering what all couples both work and contribute evenly....
none of this 1950 and 60s shit where the man is the provider and the wife sits home with the kids shit...
who all both has careers and puts effort into there marriages ??
was just having this talk with someone and they were giving me shit because i make my wife work and pitch in half the bills...they dont understand living in a big city takes more then 1 income to survive...unless your making 125k a year alone its not possible...
i guess i could move to a trailer park and rent a place for 300 a month...that would be a money saver there :chomp: trade my car in and get a pedal bike
 
nice!!!!!!
 
I am not married but me and my woman both work and pay the bills together. I am a college grad and my woman will be an RN soon.
 
My brother and sister in law both work and both pull in 6 figures. I'd say my brother does a majority of the spending too, she never seems to really buy much for herself. He does get her some kick ass (and expensive) gifts for x-mas, anniversary, etc. though.
 
I work outside the home (50 hours a week +/-) and Lumberg left his job last year and now is running an IT consulting business out of the home. he is in the very beginning stages of the business and doesnt make near what he made at his full time (Fed govt) job. So i guess right now Im the breadwinner in the home. But its all combined (the money I mean) and thats just the way it is.
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
My wife doesn't do shit. I mean really not a thing. SO I guess once a month she lets me touch her hand when I kiss the ring.


Hey grump i Don't believe shes coming out of that cat piss thread either
 
i figured i wasnt alone... :)
 
funny thing when i moved here to DC right before we got married, Lumberg made it clear that his belief is that anyone who can work, should work and be a productive member of society even if we could afford for me not to work for the time being. so I got a job within 2 weeks of being here.
 
The one time I was engaged (stop the presses!) my fiance told me that if I ever wanted to not work, he was more than supportive. I never could have, at least not at that point in my life, but it was nice that he gave me the option. Though, I suppose one reason he loved me was my work ethic and he knew I could never just bum around.
 
we both work.
mine works from home and makes more than me. i work outside the home. we share in the house responsibilities.
 
:wavey:

But we are almost debt free. Then we'll adopt some kiddo's and I'll be the sole bread winner.
 
We both work but even if i dont work i make more than she does with my other income from school and the VA. but it all goes in one pot and we both steel from it when the other isnt looking...
 
We both work. I never want to feel like I have to totally depend on a man. My mom told me young never get in that position because you never know what the future holds. You have to make sure you can support yourself if needed.
 
silverstar1025 said:
We both work. I never want to feel like I have to totally depend on a man. My mom told me young never get in that position because you never know what the future holds. You have to make sure you can support yourself if needed.


i would so marry you in a heartbeat. this is what i have been trying to teach my wife for years. she doesnt get it. she lives in a fantasy world where nothing bad is going to happen. not that we can get divorced and she be alone but what if i died? she doesnt get it.
 
we both work and like our careers, we also like a dual income with no kids.

To afford the lifestyle we like we both need to work. I would love to be able to take care of her and have her not do shit, but just not able to yet
 
Ummm since when is taking care of children and household duties "bumming around"? :confused: Shit, didn't seem like that to me when I was a stay-at-home mom. 'Course the fact that I did administrative work for our business and ran errands all while cooking/cleaning/volunteering in school and having four children in five years with NO OUTSIDE HELP sorta made it SEEM like a job... one that was 24/7 with no sick days, vacation days or pay raises. LOL 'Course you couldn't have paid me any less! ... cause I got NUTHIN! Oh wait, I got a roof over my head. YEAY ME!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh the good ole days.

NOT

Now I literally do whatever THE FUCK I want. If I want to work on my business projects. I do. If I want to lay in bed all day. I do. If I want to coordinate getting our home ready for our kids. I do. If I want to do the laundry. I do. If I want to pay someone else to do it. I do.

I DONT CLEAN EVER.

Goodness, options are so nice to have aren't they? :)
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Ummm since when is taking care of children and household duties "bumming around"? :confused: Shit, didn't seem like that to me when I was a stay-at-home mom. 'Course the fact that I did administrative work for our business and ran errands all while cooking/cleaning/volunteering in school and having four children in five years with NO OUTSIDE HELP sorta made it SEEM like a job... one that was 24/7 with no sick days, vacation days or pay raises. LOL 'Course you couldn't have paid me any less! ... cause I got NUTHIN! Oh wait, I got a roof over my head. YEAY ME!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh the good ole days.

NOT

Now I literally do whatever THE FUCK I want. If I want to work on my business projects. I do. If I want to lay in bed all day. I do. If I want to coordinate getting our home ready for our kids. I do. If I want to do the laundry. I do. If I want to pay someone else to do it. I do.

I DONT CLEAN EVER.

Goodness, options are so nice to have aren't they? :)

run around the house naked?
 
we both work- my hubby pays the bills..

my money is fun money.. for me to spend on myself and him as necessary.. and school..

I know i have it better than many others.. but it sucks cuz he never buys me anything..

cuz his income goes towards necessities and mine towards extras.. i always feel like i'm being his sugarmomma..
 
HAYEZ said:
how old are your kids? 10 years ago it was possible...now its so fucking expensive unless you live in a hole in the wall town its not really possible to live comfortably on 1 paycheck...i prefer to have savings , cant live check to check

My sister stayed home with her three. They are ages near 11, near 10 and 8.

My children are near 16, 14 1/2, 13 and 11 1/2.

There is ALWAYS a way if you want it badly enough. :)
 
BIKINIMOM said:
My sister stayed home with her three. They are ages near 11, near 10 and 8.

My children are near 16, 14 1/2, 13 and 11 1/2.

There is ALWAYS a way if you want it badly enough. :)
depends on your location and cost of living.. i was meaning more people that live in large cities its basically given both people have to pitch in or else you would be living in a box outside the pawn shop
 
HAYEZ said:
depends on your location and cost of living.. i was meaning more people that live in large cities its basically given both people have to pitch in or else you would be living in a box outside the pawn shop

We both lived in Jersey... not south where the cost of living is comparitively low or north where the cost is very high.

I was married to an eletrical contractor (we had our own business) and she is married to an architect (they have their own business.

We both had very modest homes and just didn't consume ourselves with giving a shit about the Jones'. Our children were not raised with materialism.

Seriously, it is a myth THAT BOTH people need to work in order to maintain an acceptable standard of living. Studies are now showing (something that my sister and I knew all along) that this scenario is actually COSTING couples more - with childcare costs/commuting expenses not to mention NO TIME for family or self - all either work at the office/in the home or on the road getting to and from work.

If both WANT to work and work together as a team sharing household/child-rearing responsibilities then I say more power to them. But to say that both MUST WORK is just not true.
 
HAYEZ said:
how old are your kids? 10 years ago it was possible...now its so fucking expensive unless you live in a hole in the wall town its not really possible to live comfortably on 1 paycheck...i prefer to have savings , cant live check to check

I have gone great lengths to see so my wife did not have to work. When I got out of college, we lived in Houston. I had a degree and she was trying to go to school. We could not keep up with the Jone's so we moved back to small town Texas so she could finish her degree.

When we had our 2nd child, she did not want to go back to work full-time. We moved overseas so we could live on a single income.

There were certainly more factors than just that but it was a big part of our decisions. I think it is really important that kids have a Mom home when they get out of school.

I know not everyone has that luxury but if it is an option, you got to see what you can do to make it possible.
 
We both work right now outside the home

I have not decided what I will do (stay at home, work at home, work out of the home).

The option for me to stay at home is there, but I am afraid to leave my job for so long. I feel that either option is a personal one and no one should judge any mother either way. there are benefits to both sides.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Ummm since when is taking care of children and household duties "bumming around"? :confused: Shit, didn't seem like that to me when I was a stay-at-home mom. 'Course the fact that I did administrative work for our business and ran errands all while cooking/cleaning/volunteering in school and having four children in five years with NO OUTSIDE HELP sorta made it SEEM like a job... one that was 24/7 with no sick days, vacation days or pay raises. LOL 'Course you couldn't have paid me any less! ... cause I got NUTHIN! Oh wait, I got a roof over my head. YEAY ME!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh the good ole days.

NOT

Now I literally do whatever THE FUCK I want. If I want to work on my business projects. I do. If I want to lay in bed all day. I do. If I want to coordinate getting our home ready for our kids. I do. If I want to do the laundry. I do. If I want to pay someone else to do it. I do.

I DONT CLEAN EVER.

Goodness, options are so nice to have aren't they? :)

Since I was the one who used the phrase bumming around, I'll clarify that taking care of children was not in the equation in my head. I'm not sure I'll ever have them.
 
Its scary to think about being out of the workforce for 10 years and then trying to re establish yourself at 40.
 
cindylou said:
Its scary to think about being out of the workforce for 10 years and then trying to re establish yourself at 40.

If you are smart and dynamic - you can always re-invent. Plus, you will be a lot fresher at 40 with 10 yrs down-time than if you stayed at it the whole time.
 
cindylou said:
Its scary to think about being out of the workforce for 10 years and then trying to re establish yourself at 40.

Indeed...by the time I'm 35 (40 at the latest), though, I'll ideally be done with this 15 hour workday bullshit and maybe I'll just teach scuba to keep myself occupied.
 
billfred said:
If you are smart and dynamic - you can always re-invent. Plus, you will be a lot fresher at 40 with 10 yrs down-time than if you stayed at it the whole time.


easy for you to say Seriously. :heart: :)
 
ya guys got some imaginations... I really don't see goi ng to work being middle aged and having a retirement... And no you can't live comfortably on 1 income if you live in a large city ex sd, ny, la, mia etc...
 
nefertiti said:
Since I was the one who used the phrase bumming around, I'll clarify that taking care of children was not in the equation in my head. I'm not sure I'll ever have them.

...and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

If it weren't for taking care of children I would go out of my mind (yea, I've sorta been doing that LOL) with boredom. I couldn't BEGIN to imagine life without a job as I have had one pretty much since I was 14.

What would one do all day if not get involved with some sort of volunteer work or organization of some sort?

:whatever:
 
billfred said:
If you are smart and dynamic - you can always re-invent. Plus, you will be a lot fresher at 40 with 10 yrs down-time than if you stayed at it the whole time.

Very true...

When factoring into the equation about whether to stay home with your children or not, for me it was far scarier to entrust the care of my defenseless children to someone that is PAID.
 
silverstar1025 said:
We both work. I never want to feel like I have to totally depend on a man. My mom told me young never get in that position because you never know what the future holds. You have to make sure you can support yourself if needed.

My father drilled something similar into my head and seeing them as a marital example made it really easy to be independent.
 
cindylou said:
easy for you to say Seriously. :heart: :)

I will tell you this, I watched my mother struggle when my Dad left her after 27 yrs of marriage and staying at home to raise 13 kids - yeah 13.

Because of that, I virtually forced my wife to get a degree in accounting so she could always find a job if something happened to me. She worked accounting out of college but dropped out of the field after our 2nd kid.

Now she has a master's in sports science, coaches track and volleyball and is a personal trainer. She continues to go to college and I swear will be a Dr of somekind before I die.

She continues re-invent and stays active in what interest her. She is really quite amazing and I think most women have that tenacity.

Taking 10 yr break from work is a blessing not a curse.
 
billfred said:
I will tell you this, I watched my mother struggle when my Dad left her after 27 yrs of marriage and staying at home to raise 13 kids - yeah 13.

Because of that, I virtually forced my wife to get a degree in accounting so she could always find a job if something happened to me. She worked accounting out of college but dropped out of the field after our 2nd kid.

Now she has a master's in sports science, coaches track and volleyball and is a personal trainer. She continues to go to college and I swear will be a Dr of somekind before I die.

She continues re-invent and stays active in what interest her. She is really quite amazing and I think most women have that tenacity.

Taking 10 yr break from work is a blessing not a curse.

It's very hard for a couple to trust one another that deeply. He must trust that she won't just use him till the next fool comes along and she must trust that he won't be a total dickhead and suck the life out of her.

Good men/women exist.

My husband bends over backwards to support whatever I decide to undertake - HYUGE switch from my ex who lived (and is still trying) to squash and hold me down regardless.

My husband realizes the value of making me as financially independent as possible:

1. more money I can bring into OUR household.

2. the higher I value my contribution. There is no worse feeling than being made to feel that you are merely an indentured servant or a pretty albeit useless trophy.

There is A LOT to be said for a woman maintaining her ability to earn an income without her husband. As billfred pointed out anything could happen to him, then what would his wife do? If a couple can find a way to keep mom home for a couple of years (your children are only small ONCE) then get her back in school and out into the work world or have herself reinvent herself as many times as she chooses, I feel that is the best of all worlds. And any woman who doesn't appreciate a good man who affords her such freedom and opportunities should just be hog-tied and shot - no questions ask. LOL
 
I know some couples who both work outside the home.
At 7:00am they drop the kids at school for "breakfast club".
School runs 8:30 - 3:00.
Then the after-school kicks in and parents pick up kids at 6:00pm.

The kids are 7 years old!
wtf?
 
Last edited:
HAYEZ said:
just wondering what all couples both work and contribute evenly....
none of this 1950 and 60s shit where the man is the provider and the wife sits home with the kids shit...
who all both has careers and puts effort into there marriages ??
was just having this talk with someone and they were giving me shit because i make my wife work and pitch in half the bills...they dont understand living in a big city takes more then 1 income to survive...unless your making 125k a year alone its not possible...
i guess i could move to a trailer park and rent a place for 300 a month...that would be a money saver there :chomp: trade my car in and get a pedal bike

I think couples contribute in differnt ways. I for one cut the lawn, do my own laundry, cook dinner and lunch (we are both 5 mins from our office so home for lunch is easy) and other "man stuff." She pays bills and plans vacations and such. It's not that I can't do it it is just she is better at it than I am. I don't have the attention to detail that she wants so it is better left for her to do.
 
I've always worked, even when I was with my ex.
I've lived alone for over 8 yrs now and take care of myself w/out help from anyone else, including my parents who have money.

My Mom taught my sisters and I to never depend on anyone, not even her. She came from being dirt poor to making a lot of her own money. My dad made his own money.
I don't make a lot of money but enough to take care of myself.

My rule of thumb is everything should be paid 50/50 in a relationship.
 
blueta2 said:
I've always worked, even when I was with my ex.
I've lived alone for over 8 yrs now and take care of myself w/out help from anyone else, including my parents who have money.

My Mom taught my sisters and I to never depend on anyone, not even her. She came from being dirt poor to making a lot of her own money. My dad made his own money.
I don't make a lot of money but enough to take care of myself.

My rule of thumb is everything should be paid 50/50 in a relationship.


maybe not "paid 50/50" because if one of the two do not work then the pay is made in a different way. i have been a stay at home dad a few times and beyond feeling like do-do for not working it is a hard job. but if both worked i believe it should all go into the same pot.
 
I'm taking the month of January off in 2009.
I bet the dishes, laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning and getting the kids ready is going to kill me LOL
 
heavy_duty said:
I'm taking the month of January off in 2009.
I bet the dishes, laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning and getting the kids ready is going to kill me LOL

That isn't quite the same as throwing up from morning sickness (which is only ONE SMALL symptom of pregnancy - post partum is REALLY fun!!!) every couple hours while doing all that in addition to chasing 3 under-school aged kids.

Taking a month to stay home and take care of your family might actually be fun for you AND your kids.

The fun begins to wane though when you are sick and must still do it all and everyone expects you to do it. Instead of, "Thanks for taking such good care of us" you get, "Why isn't the laundry done yet? I told you two days ago I was running low on socks." and "Left-overs AGAIN?" and "Honey, surely you don't mind getting my mother a birthday gift and little susie a birthday present while you are out taking care of all the other stuff you gotta do? I mean, it isn't like you have a job or anything. Besides it should be fun to take our little ones to the doctor, the post office, the mall and pick up the dry-cleaning? They will be SUCH great helpers!"

:lmao:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE TOO TIRED FOR SEX... AGAIN?!?!... the baby has been sleeping through the night for a full week now, hasn't she?"

Regardless of which parent stays home with the children ANYONE who thinks that being a stayathome parent isn't a job, just isn't do that job right. Anything can be easy when it's done half-assed :whatever:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
That isn't quite the same as throwing up from morning sickness (which is only ONE SMALL symptom of pregnancy - post partum is REALLY fun!!!) every couple hours while doing all that in addition to chasing 3 under-school aged kids.

Taking a month to stay home and take care of your family might actually be fun for you AND your kids.

The fun begins to wane though when you are sick and must still do it all and everyone expects you to do it. Instead of, "Thanks for taking such good care of us" you get, "Why isn't the laundry done yet? I told you two days ago I was running low on socks." and "Left-overs AGAIN?" and "Honey, surely you don't mind getting my mother a birthday gift and little susie a birthday present while you are out taking care of all the other stuff you gotta do? I mean, it isn't like you have a job or anything. Besides it should be fun to take our little ones to the doctor, the post office, the mall and pick up the dry-cleaning? They will be SUCH great helpers!"

:lmao:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE TOO TIRED FOR SEX... AGAIN?!?!... the baby has been sleeping through the night for a full week now, hasn't she?"

Regardless of which parent stays home with the children ANYONE who thinks that being a stayathome parent isn't a job, just isn't do that job right. Anything can be easy when it's done half-assed :whatever:

I get that. no easier way to piss me off than to bitch about laundry
 
BIKINIMOM said:
That isn't quite the same as throwing up from morning sickness (which is only ONE SMALL symptom of pregnancy - post partum is REALLY fun!!!) every couple hours while doing all that in addition to chasing 3 under-school aged kids.

Taking a month to stay home and take care of your family might actually be fun for you AND your kids.

The fun begins to wane though when you are sick and must still do it all and everyone expects you to do it. Instead of, "Thanks for taking such good care of us" you get, "Why isn't the laundry done yet? I told you two days ago I was running low on socks." and "Left-overs AGAIN?" and "Honey, surely you don't mind getting my mother a birthday gift and little susie a birthday present while you are out taking care of all the other stuff you gotta do? I mean, it isn't like you have a job or anything. Besides it should be fun to take our little ones to the doctor, the post office, the mall and pick up the dry-cleaning? They will be SUCH great helpers!"

:lmao:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE TOO TIRED FOR SEX... AGAIN?!?!... the baby has been sleeping through the night for a full week now, hasn't she?"

Regardless of which parent stays home with the children ANYONE who thinks that being a stayathome parent isn't a job, just isn't do that job right. Anything can be easy when it's done half-assed :whatever:


First time we had sex after baby #1 (sex was her idea that night) she got pregnant LOL
 
velvett said:
My father drilled something similar into my head and seeing them as a marital example made it really easy to be independent.

Yep it's a good thing they did that for us. I am seeing how bad it can be right now. My in laws are miserable together, but my mother in law doesn't leave because she is too dependant on him. She has never worked, no license, etc etc and now she is 60 and stuck! I don't ever want to feel stuck.
 
silverstar1025 said:
Yep it's a good thing they did that for us. I am seeing how bad it can be right now. My in laws are miserable together, but my mother in law doesn't leave because she is too dependant on him. She has never worked, no license, etc etc and now she is 60 and stuck! I don't ever want to feel stuck.


Hello - she has half the money and all the pussy. How could she feel dependant on HIM?
 
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I live in the top 5 most expensive places to live in the country
My wife works full time/ some nights and weekends(retail)
I work full time
My mom and mom in law watch my 7 month old daughter when me or wif aren't around and wrking at the same time.
so it works out ok
but with the way my business is now (slow)
she NEEDS to work
Hopefully by the time baby # 2 comes
she can go to part time or somethin
 
billfred said:
Hello - she has half the money and all the pussy. How could she feel dependant on HIM?

Well I imagine it would be scary to think about leaving when your english sucks, you have never worked a day in your life, and you can't drive. lol
 
silverstar1025 said:
Well I imagine it would be scary to think about leaving when your english sucks, you have never worked a day in your life, and you can't drive. lol

She could move in with you!!
:chomp:
 
Didn't read the thread, but we both used to work and made the same income (saved tons of money with no kids!). Now I stay home with the kids since they've been born and the wife works.

She would actually make more money than I at this point. I couldn't do it on my own with her being home.
 
bigmann245 said:
maybe not "paid 50/50" because if one of the two do not work then the pay is made in a different way. i have been a stay at home dad a few times and beyond feeling like do-do for not working it is a hard job. but if both worked i believe it should all go into the same pot.
yes when you're married that's often how it works (at least in my house)
 
You know what's so weird? I keep hearing "My mom taught me this" and "My mom taught me that" - I dont think my Mom ever "taught" me anything in regards to being an independent adult. My dad did all the teaching and even there, it was mostly leading by example with some lectures and life lessons intermingled.
My mom pretty much never worked outside the home (she did own a consignment shop with a friend for a short time when I was in grade school) and my dad always made more than enough money to raise our family of 4 kids.
Ive always worked since I was 15 yrs old. My dad made us work all thru HS and college (except when we were away at school).
I guess even though my mom was a stay-at-home mom and never worked, I never really considered that an option for myself somehow (not that I would balk at the notion if my husband made lots of money, I'd do the June Cleaver thing in a heartbeat)
 
I can be old-fashioned when it comes to work. If she's happy with me being the only breadwinner and her being a professional homemaker, then I'm 100% on-board. I would never object to my SO working in any capacity, but I'd never push or force her in that direction.

Having said that, being a professional homemaker is a real job. Its not necessarily dinner on the table or shirts being ironed (that can be outsourced), but it is a full-time job dealing with the household, children, and patching-up a would-be overworked husband each evening.
 
mrplunkey said:
I can be old-fashioned when it comes to work. If she's happy with me being the only breadwinner and her being a professional homemaker, then I'm 100% on-board. I would never object to my SO working in any capacity, but I'd never push or force her in that direction.

Having said that, being a professional homemaker is a real job. Its not necessarily dinner on the table or shirts being ironed (that can be outsourced), but it is a full-time job dealing with the household, children, and patching-up a would-be overworked husband each evening.
what do you say to her when she ask for a $500 purse or a $300 pair of shoes?
 
Smurfy said:
I was asking since she didnt work,if she was to ask for things like that what he would think..i was just wondering since ive never been in that situation.
 
HAYEZ said:
what do you say to her when she ask for a $500 purse or a $300 pair of shoes?
Hah! Normal shopping runs come in around $1800-$2500

It's fine. I do my job, she does hers
 
HAYEZ said:
I was asking since she didnt work,if she was to ask for things like that what he would think..i was just wondering since ive never been in that situation.
i said wtf because I have never spent money like that
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
My wife doesn't do shit. I mean really not a thing. SO I guess once a month she lets me touch her hand when I kiss the ring.

is she visiting family again??
 
mrplunkey said:
Hah! Normal shopping runs come in around $1800-$2500

It's fine. I do my job, she does hers
well atleast she isnt cheap now huh?lolol
 
Smurfy said:
i said wtf because I have never spent money like that
lol..better start learning how to
 
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